Sunday, October 7, 2007

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Duy said...

Assignment 1 – Paragraph 61 – Page 52,53

The original selection is a rather difficult-to-be-translated paragraph with many difficult vocabulary and structure. As a result, it came to the translater as the hard task to transfer all the Vietnamese idea into English. However, he also did very well inspite of some reasonable reduction. For example, in the first sentence, the Vietnamese writer mentioned the Pitta birds which are “lông kẻ bụng phệ”. But when translaing into English, the translator just used the phrase “bar-bellied” which only implies the “bụng phệ”. The “lông kẻ” is missed here.

The second sentence shows the skill of rearranging. In the original sentence, the writer says: “Ở đó cũng có nhiều gà lôi trắng bạc và gà rừng” which is very easy to be translated like “There are also many silver pheasants and jungle fowl”. However, the translater has his own way. He move the phrase “silver pheasants and jungle fowl” to the subject position. As a result, we have the sentence “ Silver pheasants ans jungle fowl are plentiful” which makes more senses.

The selection was full of the very good word choice. One example is the word “nằm giữa” which is replaced by “surrounded by”. “Nằm giữa” is also a very difficult-to-be-translated word which consists of a verb and a preposition. In the English selection, there is a tendency to use the reasonably short word. As a result, “surrounded by” is relly the best choice. We can also easily note out many good examples like “Highway” for the simple “đường”, “endangered” for “nguy cơ tuyệt chủng”, etc.

In general, the translated selection is really a good one. It shows the talent of the translater who is very skilled at arranging and word choosing.

Assignment 2 – Practice in Vietnamese-English Tranlation 1 – Nguyen Thanh Duc

Đầu năm 2020, Việt Nam sẽ có vị trí khác hẳn hiện nay. Thế hệ trẻ Việt Nam sẽ được biết đến với hình ảnh thanh bình và tiến bộ. Họ sẽ có sự chuẩn bị tốt hơn để nghĩ về vấn đề dài hạn như môi trường cho sự tăng tuổi thọ, những khu vực còn đói nghèo… Họ sẽ cũng phải hiểu rằng họ là “những công dân toàn cầu” hơn bây giờ.

Vietnam will be at a completely different position in the year of 2020. Vietnamese young generation will be known as the image of peace and progress. They will get better preparation to think of long-term issues such as environment for the longer of lives, hungry… poverty areas. They will also understand that they are citizens “more global” than they are at present.

This is not a good selection with bad word choice and structure. In the first sentence, the writer implied that Vietnam will have reached that position before 2020. However, the translated selection did not clarify this idea. “Vietnam will be at completely different position in the year of 2020”. With that saying, the translated selection accidentally implied that, in 2020, Vietnam will start to be at the different position. It is quite far from the original text. The second sentence is quite okay but all the rest in in problem. No one says “poverty areas” which is unacceptable. Areas is a noun and it needs an adjective to modify. Poverty is also a noun. In this case, “region in poverty” is supposed to be the better choice. In the last sentence, it is easy to note out the phrase “citizens “more global”” which shows the bad structure applying.it is necessary to add “which are” after citizens. At that time, all the “more global” can modify the “citizens” unlike what is translated in the selection.

In general, this is not a good selection. The translator should reconsider his skill of choosing word and forming structure which can easily lead to the misunderstanding.

Pham Tran Thanh Duy - 7044730
julesdidi@gmail.com

hang said...

7044731 Doan Thi Thuy Hang
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn
Doanhang828515@gmail.com
Su Pham Anh Van: 01 –K30

Vietnamese text:
Từ nhiều ngày nay, qua hệ thống chat Yahoo Messenger, tin nhắn "Hãy cùng chúng tôi thả những ngọn thiên đăng để chung tay giúp đỡ với những nạn nhân của vụ sập cầu Cần Thơ" đã được gửi đi với tốc độ chóng mặt.
Đúng 20h30 ngày 4/10, hàng ngàn chatter tại Hà Nội đã tìm đến quảng trường trước cửa sân vận động Quốc gia Mỹ Đình để cùng thả những ngọn "thiên đăng" lên trời.
Bạn Trung Anh - Sinh viên ĐH Quốc gia Hà Nội cho biết: "Ngay sau khi biết tin xảy ra thảm hoạ tại khu vực xây dựng cầu Cần Thơ, bản thân em đã nghĩ đến việc phải làm một việc gì đó có ích để giúp đỡ những nạn nhân không may. Chính vì vậy, sau khi biết thông tin nhóm tình nguyện Quê Hương tổ chức thả đèn trời tại sân Mỹ Đình, em đã cố gắng đến từ rất sớm để mua 2 chiếc đèn với mong muốn đóng góp một phần nhỏ bé để giúp đỡ các nạn nhân và gia đình họ".

English text:

In recent days, the message “Release paper lights with us to join hands to help victims of the Can Tho bridge collapse” were delivered through Yahoo Messenger.

At 8.30pm, October 4, thousands of chatters in Hanoi gathered at the square in front of My Dinh national stadium to release paper lights.

Trung Anh, a student at Hanoi-based National University, said: “Immediately after hearing about the Can Tho bridge collapse, I thought of doing something to assist victims. Receiving the message about the Que Huong Volunteer Foundation’s paper light release campaign at My Dinh, I came very early to buy two paper lights with the wish to contribute to helping victims and their families.”

Source: Vietnamnet.com.vn

After reading the article, I drew some following comments:
In the first sentence, both of source text and target text begin with “adverb of time”: “in recent years” – “từ nhiều ngày qua”. I think that these two phrases reached to satisfaction about meaning although they are different from expressions. In fact, if we translate “từ nhiều ngày qua” into “from many recent days”, the meaning can be accepted but the structure is more complicated than that “in recent days”. Next, “the message: “Release paper lights with us to join hands to help victims of the Can Tho bridge collapse” were delivered through Yahoo Messenger.” – “qua hệ thống chat Yahoo Messenger, tin nhắn "Hãy cùng chúng tôi thả những ngọn thiên đăng để chung tay giúp đỡ với những nạn nhân của vụ sập cầu Cần Thơ”đã được gửi đi với tốc độ chóng mặt.” Two sentences have a change of constituents. When rendering Vietnamese text into English text, translator used passive form instead of keeping active form. Although, the choice between active and passive sentences allows presenting the same information in two different orders, in some cases, people refer to use passive form to emphasize the agents with the word “by”. In this sentence, translator did not use the word “by” because the verb “deliver” has its preposition “thought”. In this sentence, I really like the expression “Release paper lights …….Can Tho bridge collapse” – “Hãy cùng chúng tôi …… cầu Cần Thơ” because translator used “reporting suggestion” form to preserve meaning of the source text perfectly. In next sentence, I’m mindful about phrase of time “at 8:30 pm, October 4” - “đúng 8h30 ngày 4/10”. I think the preposition “at” is reasonable because “at” for the time of day. For instance, we often say “at five o’clock”-“lúc 5 giờ”. So, we can not use “in 8:30 pm” or “on 8:30 pm”. About the way we write order of day and month in English are totally different from in Vietnamese. “ngày 4/10” but in English “October 4”. People always capitalize words about months. Although capitation is not a big problem, in translation we should notice to each aspects of language. Another, if we translate English into Vietnamese, we have many ways to choose expressions. For instance, in the article we have the word “paper lights”. It can be translated into Vietnamese “đèn giấy”, “đền gió”, “đèn trời”, “thiên đăng”. However, when we translate Vietnamese into English, we have only expression is “paper lights” to name this stuff. Thus, word choice is very important in translation. The next sentence: “Bạn Trung Anh, sinh viên đại học quốc gia cho biết”-“Trung Anh- “a student at Hanoi-based National University said”. In the English version make me confuse to the phrase “Ha Noi-based national university” because if I had to translate this phrase, it would be “Hà Nội national university” with out “-based”. When I read it, I did not understand why the translator used this word. I had to look up many dictionaries for the meaning. “-Based” – forming compound means establish in the specified place or way, for instance, “a Paris-based company”. Thus, the word “–based” can make the meaning of the phrase clearer. I found out an interesting thing, we often write Can Tho university without “-based”. So, I wonder that whether we should write “Can Tho-based University”. Another thing, in English people use an “-ing form” of verb or past participle in a clause with has an adverbial meaning beginning with conjunction (when, because) can make what we say or write more formal. Hence, I think using “-ing form” in this case is a good choice of structure “Receiving the message……... …….campaign at My Dinh”. Here, it has a long noun phrase “the Que Huong Volunteer Foundation’s paper light release campaign”. It is totally right but we can translate in another way by using preposition “of” – “the paper light release campaign of the Que Huong Volunteer Foundation.” In general, the English version is good at word choice as well as meaning equivalence.




Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Paragraph 6, page 12 -13

After reading the 6th paragraph, I have some comments:

In the first sentence: “Đình Trà Cổ thờ sáu vị thần đã có công xây dựng làng”- “The Trà Cổ Communal House is dedicated to the six gods who established the village”. I think the word “dedicated” here is a good choice because it shows the equivalence of meaning between Vietnamese text and English version. However, in translation work we have many ways to translate providing that we can preserve the meaning. In my own way, the English version will be rendered into “Trà Cổ Communal House worships six Gods who deserved credit for establishing the village. In next sentence: “Ngôi đình được xây dựng năm 1550 với hai chái, mỗi chái gồm bảy gian, mỗi gian đều có sàn và trần bằng gỗ.” – “Built in 1550, it has two wings, each with seven rooms. Each of the rooms has wooden floor and ceiling”. Here, we can see the change of constituents. In Vietnamese text, it began with subject “Ngôi đình”, + verb + adverb of time + preposition phrase but in English version it began with adverb of time + noun + verb + pronoun. Although, having difference in structures, the meaning in source text and target text completely equivalence. I think this is the remarkable point in the paragraph. Another thing, in English version, it makes the sentence reduce wordy structure by using preposition phrases such as “each with seven rooms”, “each over five ceilings”. The last sentence: “Cả hai chái đều có chạm khắc tứ linh: rồng, lân, rùa và phượng” – “Both wings have carvings of four mythical figures: dragons, unicorns, turtles, and phoenixes.” I think the structures and meaning between two texts are reasonable but we also translate in another way by using passive form “Both wings were carved four mythical figures: dragons, unicorns, turtles, and phoenixes.” Essentially, the English version is good, the structures as well as word choices manifest professional translation.

............The end.............

hang said...

Doan Thi Thuy Hang
MSSV: 7044731
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn
Doanhang828515@gmail.com


I tried my best for these assignments. I fell very sorry about missing email address.

Can I receive comments of assignments in week 4 from you?


Vietnamese text:
“Sáng 27/9, Bộ trưởng Hồ Nghĩa Dũng đã dành cho báo giới cuộc phỏng vấn, ngay tại hiện trường thảm họa sập cầu Cần Thơ. VietNamNet lược đăng lại cuộc phỏng vấn này:
- Có phải công trình này (cầu Cần Thơ) được nhà thầu chính chia nhỏ ra và bán cho các nhà thầu phụ không, thưa Bộ trưởng?
Theo nguyên tắc, nhà thầu chính có quyền chọn nhà thầu phụ!”

English version:

“Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about the bridge collapse case with the press at the site of incident. VietNamNet extracts this interview.

Reporter: main contractor split the Can Tho bridge project into small parts to re-sell to sub-contractors?

Mr. Dung: in principle, the main contractor can choose sub-contractors.”

Source: VietNamNet.com.vn


I have some comments in the first section of the article:

In the first sentence: “Sáng 27/09, Bộ trưởng bộ giao thông vận tải Hồ Nghĩa Dũng đã dành cho báo giới cuộc phỏng vấn, ngay tại hiện trường thảm họa sập cầu Cần Thơ, VietNamNet lược đăng lại cuộc phõng vấn này” – “Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about the bridge collapse case with the press at the site of incident. VietNamNet extracts this interview.” We know that in English adverbs of time usually go in front or end position but in this sentence the phrase “sáng 27/09” – “this morning” goes in the mid position. Generally, such a usage is often seen in press rather than normal writing. Thus, we can translate “this morning Minister of Transport spoke about…” or “Minister of Transport spoke about…this morning” or “Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about…” When I read English version, I am usually mindful of noun phrase translation. It is true that translating requires us to reconstruct the structure of the source language. Keeping the meaning, we can change the surface to fit the target language. The basic English sentence pattern is formed by noun phrase. Among noun phrases, we often see the positive’s or of + noun with very little difference in meaning. So, the phrase “Bộ trưởng giao thông vận tải” is translated into “Minister of Transport”. This is totally exact. Also, this sentence has another noun phrase “the site of incident” – “hiện trường thảm họa”. In this case, we can use another ways to translate the phrase “hiện trường thảm họa” - “the incident’s site” but I think we should use the structure like the translator used in the article because we are more likely to use “of + noun” form to something that is not living. Another thing, the adverb of place “at the site of incident” goes in the end position instead of in the same position in the Vietnamese sentence. It is reasonable because in English people usually put them in the end position. Also, in the phrase “the bridge collapse case” has a combination between 3 nouns “bridge + collapse + case” to make a noun phrase. This will make the sentence diminish complicated and wordy structure. Another, the translator did not translate the word “thảm họa”, on the contrary, he used the word “case”. Suppose that if we translated “thảm họa sập cầu” – “the bridge collapse disaster/catastrophe”, I think that it can be accepted. The next sentence “Có phải công trình này được nhà thầu chính chia nhỏ ra và bán cho các nhà thầu phụ không?” – “Has the main contractor split the Can Tho Bridge project into small parts to re-sell to sub-constractors.” In the Vietnamese text, the sentence is passive form but in English version it is active form. The choice between active and passive form allows us to present the same information in two different orders. In this case, two sentences have the same meaning. Hence, I do not talk much about them, I just focus much on the verb “split” – “chia”. In Vietnamese, we often say that “chia cái gì ra nhiều phần”, in English we have the same expression “split something into smaller parts. In English, verb goes with different preposition makes different meanings. The combination is numerous. In some case, two languages have the same structures but they are in generally quite different each other. So, translating “verb + preposition” is as important as translating noun phrases.



Page: 34
Paragraph 38th
Việt Nam’s natural beauty

After reading the paragraph, I have three main comments:
Sở du lịch tỉnh Bà Rịa –Vũng Tàu” – “Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Province’s Tourist Service” Firstly, the distribution of the constituents in the Vietnamese noun phrases are absolutely different form English noun phrases. In the other case, people also translate “Ủy ban nhân dân thành phố Cần Thơ” into “Cần Thơ City people’s Committee”. However, we can translate this phrase by using “of form”: “the service of tourist of Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Province. The meaning is equivalent but the structure is rather complicated. So, I think Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Provice’s Tourist Service” is the best way.

Secondly, “phát triển nhiều hơn nữa các loại hình giải trí và tham quan, tạo thêm nhiều lựa chọn để làm hài lòng du khách đến thăm vùng đất này.” – “develop yet more entertainment and sight-seeing choices to make a trip to the region even more satisfying.” Here, we can see some words in Vietnamese text are skipped such as “loại hình”, “du khách”. In my opinion, we can translate this sentence in another way: “develop more entertainment and sight-seeing forms to bring satisfying choices to tourists who take a trip to the region”.

Thirdly, “Tuy nhiên, các dịch vụ hiện tại cũng đã đủ để đảm bảo cho du khách có thể thư giản, vui chơi và thưởng thức môi trường thiên nhiên.” – “Nevertheless, current services are sufficient to ensure that visitors can relax, enjoy themselves, and appreciate the natural environment”. In English version, translators used “that - clause”. I think that using this structure is a good choice because when the situation described in the “that – clause” is a permanent situation, or still exists or is relevant at the time we like to use “that – clause”. Another good choice word is “appreciate”, we can use “enjoy” or “appreciate”, however, “appreciate” is better because it can avoid repeating the word “enjoy” many times.

...........The end!!!............

DAVID HO said...

PAGE 14, PARAGRAPH 7
When reading the English version, I see that the translator tried to transform the meaning as well as the content of the paragraph to readers with structures and words which were chosen carefully. However, I often use the word "built" to mean "xay dung" and I would like to ask if we could replace "built" by "erected" and which is better. In addition, I can change the order of the first sentence into "The Linh Khanh pagoda erected in 1775 during the reign of the King Le Hien Tong (1740-1786) also known as the Tra Co or the Nam Tho pagoda to worship Goddess Lieu Hanh". Furthermore, the word "the site" is good to mean "khuon vien"?. I see that it would be better than the old one if it were changed into a noun-phrase, and the word "co" in Vietnamese version should not be translated into English by "have/has" and this is the sentence in my opinion "a 5000 square metres site with a peaceful setting beneath ancient trees and sixty-three statues that include Buddha, Quan Am Thi Kinh (the Goddess of Mercy), and Di Lac (Mitreya Buddha)" as well as bronze bells which were added in 1843". I wondered if the word "add" in the last sentence is good to mean "duoc duc vao nam 1843" when "add" is " them vao" and "duc" is very different from it. Why did translator use it and this makes the meaning of the sentence is better? It is very difficult to translator words as "Quan The Am", "Di lac" and don't know if he use correct word to mean them.
In general, the English translated version is not very good. although he try to choose good word to transform the whole meaning of the base version, some sentences are not clear and this can make readers have mistakes

THE BOOK " HUONG DAN LUYEN DICH VIET- ANH- TRAN TRI THIEN- NHA XUAT BAN THANH NIEN
Vietnamese version
Ben ninh kieu duoc xay dung vao nam 1876. Luc dau co ten la ben song buon ban do nguoi Phap dat boi vi ngay ay xuong ghe cap ben buon ban. Nguoi Viet thi goi la ben Hang Duong vi o ben song co nhieu cay duong soi bong xuong rach Can Tho. Sau nay, ben duoc doi ten thanh ben Le Loi . Nam 1958 ben Le Loi duoc doi ten thanh ben Ninh Kieu .Ninh kieu chinh la ten mot khuc song Day, nay thuoc xa Ninh Son, huyen Chuong My, (Ha Tay) noi ma vao the ky 15 nghia quan Lam Son da chien thang quan Minh. Nhu vay, nguoi Can Tho da lay ten mot chien thang lon cua cha ong ta de dat ten cho ben song ma minh yeu thuong nhat, giong nhu nguoi sai gon da dat ten cho cac ben song Bach Dang, Ham Tu, Chuong Duong, Van Don.

English version
The Ninh Kieu Wharf was built in 1876. At first the French called it The Commercial quay because at that time merchant vessels called at the wharf. The Vietnamese called it the Hang Duong (willow) wharf because there were many willows casting their shadows on the Can Tho canal. Later it was changed into the Le Loi wharf. In 1958 the Le Loi wharf was changed into the ninh kieu wharf. Ninh kieu is the very name of part of the Day River. It is now in Ninh Son village, Chuong My district ( haTay)where in the early fifteenth century, LamSon militiamen had defeated Minh invaders.Thus the can tho people have named the wharf after the great victory of our ancestors.It is the same as the Saigonese having the names of Bach Dang, Chuong Duong, Ham Tu, Van Don.

It is very interesting to read a good translation version about Ninh Kieu quay , a famous and beautiful place for tourism in Can Tho. When reading the translated version, I see it is quite good and he transforming the meaning of the base version into English. I think it would be better if he used noun-phrase to replace clauses which he used to translate this. Most of sentences, he used clauses and this makes the sentences to be longer and have more a large number of word than the Vietnamese version. In addition, I don't know the differences between "quay" and "wharf" because I often use "quay" for "Ninh Kieu Quay" instead of "Ninh Kieu wharf" and which is better to use.
In my opinion, the version is quite good, however, the words the translator used are very simple and they don't express and emphasize the beauty as well as the name of Nink Kieu quay and "ben song ma minh yeu thuong nhat" concised which requirements of translation don't allow the translators to do that because of lacking of meaning of the sentence. in general, the version is qui good. But, the structure of sentences and words are very simple and these make the version have not emphasize the beauty of Ninh Kieu Quay like the Vietnamese version.


HO DINH QUOC
7044738
GROUP 1
DINHQUOC1985@GMAIL.COM

tien said...

Vietnamese text:
Sa Pa có hoa trái cây phong phú quanh năm. Mùa xuân có lê và hoa đào, mùa hè tràn ngập đào và mận cùng với các loài hoa nở rộ như păng xê, hoa hướng dương và lay ơn. Người dân thu hoạch táo và lê vào những tháng mát mẻ hơn trong năm.
English text:
Fruits and flowers are abundant almost all year round in Sa Pa. Spring brings pear and beach blossoms, and by summer the peaches and plums are abundant along with pansies, sunflowers, and gladidi in full bloom. Residents harvest apples and pears in the cooler months.
Comments:
In my opinion, I can not negate that the target language preserves the gists of the source one. In addition, the creativity in the way of translating plays an role to creat a more natural, better translation. For instance, instead of “Sa Pa has abundant fruits and flowers almost in year round”, the author approves the sentence “Fruits and flowers are abundant almost year round in Sa Pa”. Moreover, using the verb “bring” will present a skillful translation without changing the idea of the sentence.However, I am sorry to say that I have some different ideas on the translation. Firstly, it is unnecessary to put the word “almost” into the 1st sentence. Secondly, “pear” should be in plural noun and if there were no comma after “summer”, the broken sentence would be displayed soon or the sentence should be replaced bt another sentence. So, my translation is :
“Fruist and flowers are abundant all year round in Sa Pa. Spring brings pears and peach blossoms, and summer is full of the peaches and plums along with pansies, sunflowers, and gladioli in full bloom. Residents harvest apples and pears in the cooler months”.





















Vietnamese text:
Lương cao, môi trường làm việc rộng, nhiều thách đố. GTNS (giao tế nhân sự) quả thật là một nghề hiện đại thích hợp với các bạn trẻ có chí cầu tiến. Song thiết nghĩ để GTNS được thừa nhận và hoạt động một cách hợp pháp cũng rất cần sự quan tâm, định hướng và giúp đỡ của các ngành chức năng.
English text:
High salary, large working environment with much challenging, PR’s could be really a modern career, appropriate to the youths being eager for advanced spirit.
However, to my mind, on order to be recognized and legally executed, it can also need the concern, orientation and development assistance of many functional organs.
Comments:
In general, I am very pleased with this translation as well as appreciate the exact word-choice of it except for some points. Firstly, the noun phrase “high salary ….challenging” can not stand alone without priposition “with” at the beginning. Adding “with” and the noun phrase will become a preposition phrase modifying for the following clause. Also, I don’t understand the purpose of the author when showing “PR’s” and what does “ ‘s ” mean? I don’t think it is suitable in this situation. Next, if the author said “could be really …”, he unintentionally and can also need ...reduces the meaning of the source language. In these cases, using the verb “to be” for the 1st case and cross out the verb “can” for the 2nd one will express the exact meaning of Vietnamese text. If necessary, the translator should change “really” into “obviously” but it is not very important, I think. Moreover, English style never allows to present an adjective after a comma as in the text. So, the relative pronoun “which” is always needed to replace “comma”. In addition, the phrase “being eager for advanced spirit” contains an unclear meaning. Therefore, I suggest that it should be “having strong wills to promote”. Finally, I personally think, in comparison with “organs”, “branches” occupies higher the position Thus, “branches” will keep the position of “organs” in the last sentence.
According to the comment above, the improved translation will be :
“With high salary, large working environment with much challenging, PR is really / obviously a modern career which is appropriate to the youths having strong wills to promote. However, to my mind, in order to be recognized and legally executed, it / PR also needs the concern, orientation and development assistance of many functional branches”.


Tien 7044742

tien8721@yahoo.com

hong said...

Mai Thi Thu Hong _7044733 class 01
Email address: thongoc_1411@yahoo.com
hong.7044733@ctu.edu.vn
From 104 Bài Luyện Dịch Anh-Việt.

Đến với xứ sở của sông Lam, núi Hồng ai ai cũng mong muốn trước tiên hnàh hương về vùng quê đã sinh ra chủ tịch Hồ Chí Minh kính mến,Làng Sen, tên chữ gọi là Kim Liên. Làng sen đón khách bằng hương thơm ngát trên đầm sen đầu làng, gợi niềm thành kính trước khi rẽ vào lối ngõ dâm bụt dẫn đến mái nhà lá bạc màu thuở xưa Bác Hồ đã sống.

When visiting the country of Lam River and Hong Mountain, everyone wants first to make a pilgrimage to the place when our beloved president Ho Chi Minh was born, Sen village, literally called Kim Lien. Sen village welcomes its visitors with the fragrance of lotus flowers wafting from the lotus pond at the entrance of the village evoking respect before turning to an alley lined up with hibiscus trees which leads to an old, color-faded thatch house where Uncle Ho lived during his childhood.

COMMENTS
This paragraph describes the scene in Sen village where Uncle Ho was born. The first sentence, it sees to be translated word by word and the sentence is too long. In addition, the word choice is also unreasonable, especially “beloved”, it doesn’t mean “ kính mến”, I thick we should use “ respectful”. I retranslate this sentence like this “ when visiting the country of Lam river and Hong mountain, everyone wants to make an pilgrimage to the Sen village, literally called Kim Lien where our respectful President Ho Chi Minh was born”. The second one is too long, there are many details in this sentence, I think that it’s not really smooth. We can see that the subject of “waft” is fragrance of lotus flower, the subject of “evoke” is the whole sentence before and the subject of “turn” is visitors. However, the writer reduce these entire subject, it’s not clear especially “before turning”, I think we should use “before visitors turn”. In general, the English text has close meaning with the Vietnamese one, because the sentences are too long so it’s not clear.
PARAGRAPH 73
This paragraph describes Con Dao scene by transportation. The first sentence was translated very reasonable. The second one, the author translated very professionally, he didn’t translate word by word, instead of using if clause like in Vietnamese text, he used “by helicopter at Con Son island” and change the position of the words. One more thing, the author used “rich tropical forests”, I think it doesn’t exactly mean “những cánh rừng nhiệt đới phong phú”, I use “various tropical forest”. The last one, he also didn’t translate word by word, it still keep the meaning of the author. In conclusion, I like the way the author use phrase instead of sentence. He combine the word and change the order of the word skillfully and his style didn’t influence by Vietnamese when he used English.

THI BINH said...

NGUYỄN THỊ BÌNH - 7044727 - binh.7044727@student.ctu.edu.vn

PARAGRAPH 95
After reading the piece of translation several time and compare it to the origin paper. I admire the translator. How successful he was! I tried to translate it, but found it sound Vietnamese. However the translator is very talented in translating sentences such as “Da lat’s flowers are in demand throughout the country and are particularly popular in HCMC (Hoa Da Lat duoc khap noi ua chuong va duoc dac biet yeu thich o HCM) or Da Lat’s oldest flower garden can be found near Da Lat University ( vuon hoa co cua Da Lat o gan truong Dai Hoc). One more feature is that the translator is successful in translating “ vuon hoa co hoa hong... va mimosa co hoa quanh nam” Two verbs “ co” It is far more difficult when it is in the same sentence. Therefore, the first “co” is translated as “with its roses” ( a preposition phrase)
TRAVELLIVE
CAM NANG DU LICH VIET NAM
(15/7-15/8 / 2007)
Tin Hoat Dong Du Lich
LE HOI TRAI CAY NAM BO 2007
Ke tu ngay 26 /5 den 26/8 /07 tai thanh pho Ho Chi Minh, du khach se co dip thuong thuc hon 1200 tan dac san trai cay noi tieng vung dong bang Nam Bo nhu oi khong hat Tien Giang, quyt hong Lai Vung, cam sanh Hoang Son (Dong Thap), buoi Tan Trieu ( Bien Hoa)...voi gia ban thap hon 20-30% so voi thi truong. Trong khuon kho le hoi con co cuoc thi nghe thuat tao hinh bang trai cay, cat tia trai cay va nghe thuat ghep tranh bang hat va hoi thao “Trai cay Nam Bo – phat trien san xuat va xuat khau”.
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From May 26th 2007 to August 26th 2007, the South Fruit Festival 2007 will take place in HCMC, offering 1200 tons of specialities of the Southern regions, like Tien Giang pipless guavas, Lai Vung pink tangerines, Hoang Son thick-skinned oranges (Dong Thap) and Tan Trieu pomelos ( Bien Hoa) with prices 20-30% lower than market prices. During the festival, many contests will be held such as fruit drawing, fruit grunning, picture grafting by seeds and a workshop titled “ Southern fruit – Production Development and Export”
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The translation is rather smooth. I like the way of forming an active sentence in the piece of translation. “From May 26th 2007 to August 26th 2007 the South Fruit Festival will takeplace in HCMC, offering 1200 tons of specialities”. However, I suggest another way of translation: “ In HCMC, from May 26th 2007 to August 26th 2007 visitors will get a chanceto enjoy 1200 tons of specialities...” Although I keep the word “ du khach” in my translation ( visitors), it seems that mine sounds Vietnamese. Thatis the reason why I like the translator’s.
After reading the whole piece of translation, I wonder why the author use “ Southern Fruit” not “South Fruit”. So, I look them up in the English-English-Vietnamese dictionary. Thanks to the dictionary, the word “Southern” is better because its meaning is “inor of the South” whereas “South” means “in or near or towards the South”.
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KHACH SAN WINDSOR PLAZA SAIGON
18 AN DUONG VUONG, Q5,TPHCM
DT: 08.7778877
Thuc don kieu Y Tai nha hang Viet De Latin
Da dang cac mon an mangdam phong cach Y nhu mi Y voi tom dau tiu bo va sot kem, mi Y nau ca hoi, mi Y nau sot kem ngheu, hay hai san nuong, bo nau kieu Y cung nhieu loai bo hao hang. Dac biet tu 17h00-22h00 uong 1 ly ruou vang hoac nuoc hoa qua hoac bia se duoc tang them 1 ly nua.
----------
WINDSOR PLAZA HOTEL
18 ANDUONG VUONG, Dist.5, HCMC
Tel: 08.7778877
Italian menu at Viet De Latin restaurant
Come to Viet De Latin and enjoy an Italian menu featuring a variety of pastas including Fettccine Afredo, Fusill Consalmone, spaghetti Bolognese, an array of grilled seafood and beef cooked in Italian style and a chese platter of your choice. Happy Hour at Viet De Latin runs from 17.00 until 22.00. For every beer, house wine or long drink you purchase, you get one more free.
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In my opinion the translation is not perfect. Some noun phrases are difficult to translate into English such as “ mi Y voi tom dau tiu bo va sot kem, mi Y nau ca hoi, mi Y nau sot kem ngheu”. I suppose that the translator borrowed some French and Italian words. This is normal because this is an Italian restaurant. From the bottom of my heart, I like the sentence “Happy Hour at Viet De Latin ....For every beer you purchase, you get one more free”.
For the phrase “ nhieu loai bo hao hang” I would like to translate it as in “lots of highgrade chese” and “nuoc trai cay” is “ fruit juice” not “long drink”.

linhda said...

Paragraph 12/ Page 17

Here my comment:

We can say that this paragraph is not an easy reading text to translate because it describes a natural picture with difficult words in art. Therefore, the author has described carefully in the original one. Readers have feelings that some creatures such as seas, trees, wall of stones in the text are alive, and they have their own feelings. It is called metaphor.
When we read the English translated text, the translator is successful in translating. First of all, word choice is good. The translator must be very careful in choosing words. They have close meaning with the original one. Besides, words are used alternatively when the translator translated from “ngoằn nghoeo” into “meandering” in the first case, and “winding” in the second case. They are all suitable uses. The translator also changes some expression of words to make them more familiar in English.
However, if I were the translator, I would change some expressions of words in some sentences. In the first sentence, because they say “bốn mùa” in Vietnamese, we should say “four seasons” instead all seasons in English. We say “in the spring” because there is only spring in a year.
In the first time, the translator uses “deep blue”, but he (she) uses “blue depths” in the second time. I think the translator should keep “deep blue” or “water of deep blue” in this expression. One more thing is in the fourth sentence in which the translator describes blossoming flowers as snowy flowers. In my opinion, these flowers are blossoming like snowy flower. So, we could not use “bloom with snowy flowers”. The last point is in the last sentence “the winding route feels endless”. I wonder how the route could “feel” endless here. So, only tourists can feel “endless”, otherwise we should say “the tourists feel endless by winding route”.

Extra Activities:

CHÙA LÀNG TÔI
Chùa làng tôi lợp bằng ngói, đằng trước có sân, bên cạnh coa ao, xung quanh có vườn. Ở trước sân có tam quan, trên là gác chuông, dưới là cửa ra vào. Trong chùa, trên bệ cao thì có nhiều tưọng phật bằng gỗ, sơn sun thếp vàng. Sau chùa thì có nhà tổ và chỗ các sư ở. Hai bên thì là nhà khách, ngaòi sân chùa thì có bia đá ghi công đức những người có công với nhà chùa, ngoài vườn có vài ngọn táhp, là mộ những vị sư đã tịch ở đay
Ngày rằm, mồng một, cứ tối đến tôi thường theo bà tôi lên chùa. Sư cụ tụng kinh, gõ mõ ngồi ở trên, bà tôi và các bà già ngồi ở dưới. Trên bàn thờ thì đèn sang choang, khói hương nghi ngút, trông thật nghiêm trang

THE PAGODA OF MY VILLAGE
The roof of the village pagoda is covered with tiles, in front is a court, next to it is a pond and a garden around. In front of the court is a tree- entrance porch, on top of it is a bell- tower, and under it is an entrance door. In the pagoda, on a high platform, are numerous wooden, red-painted and golden-gilded statues of buddhas. Behind, this is a living room of the senior and residential quarters of the other marks. There are guest house on both sides, in the court, there is a stele on which the merits and good deeds of those who have done to the pagoda are inscribed; in the garden, there are some towers which are tombs of monks who died here.
On the 15th and 1st of each month, in the evening, I often follow my grandmother to the pagoda. The senior monk sitting on the higher platform says prayers and other old ladies sit on a lower platform. On the alter, the lamps and candies are shining bright, and joss sticks are sending out incense smoke wich looks really solemn

Here my comment:
This is also description reading text. The reading is about a pagoda. The translator has to describe from outside of pagoda into the inside. Besides, there are some special terms related to pagoda like “tam quan” or “bệ cao”. It is also a challenge in this translation reading. However, the translator has finished it perfectly. The reading text is translated rather detail as in the original one from outside into inside
And the way in which the translator chooses words is very suitable. They have close meaning with in the Vietnamese reading text.
We should capitalize first letter in “Buddhas”.
There is a sentence in which the translator keeps the same structure as in the Vietnamese one. Therefore, it becomes wrong in English structure. It should be better with “On the 15th and 1st of each month, I often follow my grandmother to the pagoda in the evening”. And we should use “pass away” instead of using “died” to talk about monks’ deaths.
In general, the English text still keeps the general meaning with the Vietnamese original with reasonable structures.
7044728-Nguyen Thi LInh Da -Group A1

myxuyen said...

Vietnam’s Natural Beauty

Paragraph 97, page 78/79
Translation from one text to another text is not easy. It requires to have the equivalence between the two texts. Sometimes, the English version does not express all the meaning or the situation that Vietnamese one contains. We can see “nở rộ quanh năm” are translated by “bloom year round”. I think this is not convincing because “ bloom” just express the level of flowers that bloom normally but “nở rộ” must be more than. In addition, “quanh năm” are translated by “year round” is not suitable. It is the influence of Vietnamese style.
Moreover, I also wonder why translator use 2 words “chrysanthemum” and “daises” for “ hoa cuc”. Are they the same or or two kinds of the same species? I can not sure. Ingeneral, there are many details make me embarrassed. I feel that the translator used these words go a little far from the text. By anyway, I also like this English translation because this is rather creative. Thank to this version, I can know a lot of new words about flowers that I never know before such as Hoang Anh(Verge D’or), Mom Soi(Gueule)…etc. Most of them are strange words. Maybe I never these words if I do not waste time to check on dictionary. In addition, I feel that translator know how to choose words to express the ideas , do not rely on all the available meaning. For example, the passive idea “ rất nhiều loại…được đặt tên tiếng việt.” are translated into active way “have Vietnamese names” . I think this is very suitable.
So through the English translation, I feel interesting to this way because it makes me more convincing about the way of translation and help me to have more new words especially flowers species.

VIETNAMESE TEXT
Không nên báo thù
Một hôm một người hào phú co chuyện lôi thôi với một người thợ. Đang cơn tức giận, người hào phú lấy hòn đá ném người thợ. Người thợ nhặt hòn đá cất đi một chỗ, nghĩ bụng rằng : “thế nào cũng có lúc tao lấy hòn đá ném vào đầu mày”.
Cách ít lâu người hào phú chẳng may cửa nhà sa sút, của cải hét sạch phải đi ăn xin.
Một hôm, người thợ trông thấy ngừoi ấy ăn mặc rách rưới, đi qua trước cửa, vội vaqngf chạy đi lấy hòn đá định để ném lại. nhưng khi tay đã cầm hòn đá, anh ta lại nghĩ rằng: “ người ấy lúc còn giàu sang mà ta báo thù thi là dại, bây giò người ấy khổ sở mà ta báo thù thì là hèn. Thôi ta không nên báo thù”. Rồi quăng hòn đá xuống ao.

ENGLISH TEXT
We shouldn’t take revenge
One day a rich man has some trouble with a worker. In a fit of anger, the rich man take a stone and throw it at the worker. The worker picks up the stones and hides it in a place, saying to himself: “ I will surely have an occasion to throw it at your head some day.”
Not long after, the rich man unfortunatedly becomes bankrupt and has to go begging.
One day, the worker see the one-time rich man, dressed in rag walk past the former’s house, the worker is in a hurry to get the stone with the intension of throwing it at the man. But when the stone is in his hand, he thinks to himself: “If I had taken revenge when the man was rich, I would have been unwise, now the man is miserable, I I take ravenge myself on him, I am a coward. No, I should not take revenge”. Then, he throws the stone into a pond nearby.

My comment
The first thing make me wonder is that there is the difference between 2 titles: “ không nên báo thù” and “ we shouldn’t take revenge”. Maybe, the English version is clearlier than the Vietnamese text because it shows that who will controll the action. Frequently, translation from Vietnamese text into another text always influence Vietnaese way. We can see from the beginning to the end, the version is rather smooth but also sound Vietnamese such as “người hào phú lấy hòn đá ném người thợ” are translated into “the rich man take a stone and throws it at the worker”. In addition, I think the translator using words is not equivalent to express the ideas. “cửa nhà sa sút, của cải hết sạch” are replaced by just “ bankrupt”. I wonder whether it is correct to use just bankrupt.
However, there are some good point that I can recognize from this translation. Firstly, choosing words sound suitably such as “rich man= người hao phú”, or “người thợ=worker”. Secondly, translator is dood in using structure “If Clause” to translate while Vietnamese one does not have. It makes the sentence become clearer and also show that there are the result and the cause. Finally, in Vietnamese sentence : “ rồi quăng hòn đá xuống ao”. We can see this is not have enough mainly components of a sentence. In English, we can see “he throws a stone into a pond nearby”. This is the skillfulness of the translator. He makes the sentence clearer and easy to understand. In addition, he can confirm that the pond nearby, an exact position for readers to imagine the picture.
Through this one, I also get some experiences that is: translation will be good if the translator know correct the situation and how to make the readers go through with the situation interestingly and effectively

LÊ THỊ MỸ XUYÊN(7044746)
CLASS 01
Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com

hac............ said...

HUYNH TO NUONG
Class 1
My email address: jennyhuynha16@yahoo.com

Paragraph 61 on page 53:

In the first sentence of the translated text I can see one important point. That is the translator’s word choice. In the original text, the author used “di san” which does not mean “go hunting”. The translator cleverly used “go birding” which means “go and see birds” instead of “go hunting” because in reality, the government did not allow us to hunt endanged animals.
There are 2 unnecessary ideas in the English text. They are “just before the park gates” and “in the late afternoon” because the author did not mention these ideas in the original one.

Further reading:

“Mot trong nhung cai minh nghi la can phai doi moi cach suy nghi, phai sang tao hon bao quat hon, co tam nhin hon. Mot trong nhung yeu kem hien nay la minh tu ti qua. Bat ki mot van de gi minh cung hay co mot loi mon qua, trong khi do, dung ra minh can phai lat nguoc van de, thu giai quyet theo nhieu kieu khac nhau.

We have to renovate our way of thinking into a more creative, embracing and broader one. One of the present weak points is our inferior feeling and one-sided thinking. We often use the same or available solutions to any problem we face. Meanwhile, we ought to reverse that problem and try to solve it by different ways.”

The translated text isn’t good and sounds Vietnames. The translator used many words inappropriately which should be rewitten.
The first sentence should be “we have to improve our way of thinking which is made up of overall, creative and realistic viewpoint”.
There needn’t be “present” because we use the simple present and the readers can understand.
“inferior feeling” is inappropriate because the author meant “self confidence”.
I don’t agree with “often” because it has been traditional. So, it should be “traditionally”
One serious mistake is the verb “reverse”. It should be “we ought to analyse and solve the problem we face by different ways”.

minh said...

Paragraph 4

In my opinion, this is a good translation. As we see, Vietnamese paragraph contents some complicated sentences, which have many phrases. If I transferred this article into English, getting confusing would be unavoidable. It is very embarrassing for me to translate such long sentences. In addition, my words order may get problem. However, the English words choice as well as the word order is so good that we can easily recognize the main points. For example, "Từ biển Trà Cổ của tỉnh Quảng Ninh ở phía bắc đến mũi Cà Mau của tỉnh Cà Mau ở phía cực nam" was transferred into "From Tra Co beach in the northern province of Quang Ninh to Ca Mau Cape in Viet Nam's southern –most province of Ca Mau." In addition, Vietnamese paragraph has a form of passive voice", Những bãi biển được yêu thích". However,in English vesion, there is no passive form. The translator just used "the favorite beaches", and this phrase is enough to convey the meaning of Vietnamese one.

Vietnamese text:

Trong khóm vi lau rào rạt mãi

Tiếng lòng ai nói?Sao im di?

Ô kìa, bóng nguỵệt trần truồng tắm

Lộ cái khuôn vàng dưới đáy khe.


English text:

In reed bushes, there is the sound rustling continuously without stop

Who is saying the heart voice? Why does it stop?

Oh! Look at !The moon is bathing in the nude

Showing her golden round at the bottom of gill.

My comment

This is a very romantic and lyrical paragraph in the poem "BẼN LẼN" of Hàn Mặc Tử, the famous poet in Vietnamese literature. In Vietnamese passage, the writing style is so interesting that readers' hearts are thumping with exciting. And, in the English one, it is not less attractive. For the first sentence, "Trong khóm vi lau rào rạt mãi" is translated into "In reed bushes, there is the sound rustling continuously without stop". Because of the syntax rules, there is a little bit different in the version. It can not obey the Vietnamese oder. However, the sound is still good. In addition, the translator is good at using some suggestive and photographic words, such as "heart voice" and "in the nude". One thing I like best in this translation is the sentence :" Showing her golden round at the bottom of gill". Han Mac Tu personified the moon. He considered the moon to human being, a very pretty girl. So, the translator did not transfer it into "moon face". The word "golden round" is more suitable, provocative, and poetic than "yellow". One more thing, the act of using word "golden" is so excellent.Through this word, we can imagine the body of Phoebe is so beautiful and holy.In short, we can see that this is a very nice version which can make readers's soul be full of emotion.

From: Book: 129 bài dịch Việt Anh

Vo Thi Minh Due
7044729
class A1
minhdue@gmail.com

Vo said...

Vo Chanh Truc – 7044744 – vochanhtruc@gmail.com
Paragraph 56, page 48-49

Although, this is a good translation, it is more complicated than I think.

We will discuss about the first sentence. The first time I read the translation, I didn’t think it can be acceptable to write “hotels in town can book a tour…” Hotel is a thing, it cannot do the action “book”. However, I have changed my opinion. There are many people using “hotel” with the verb “book”. So, it may be correct. The translation mentions that ones who book a tour are hotels instead of tourists. However, in the original version, the writer wrote that “Tai cac khach san trong thi tran, du khach co the dat truoc chuyen di…” That means, tourists can book a tour of the national park at hotels in town. In addition, the writer used reduction technique when translating the word “dat truoc” into only one-syllable verb: “book”. The translator thought it was not necessary to translate the word “truoc” into “in advance” because the word “book” itself has the meaning “in advance”. One excellence of the translator is the use of the word “trek”. According to Oxford Dictionary, trek means a long, hard walk lasting several days or weeks, especially in the mountains. Although the translator could use words such as journey, trip, tour, or walk, etc, he chose “trek” to show how hard, how long, and how far the tourists will have to suffer when taking a tour of the National Park.

Let’s move to the second sentence. The phrase “chuyen di mat nhieu thoi gian nhung ngoan muc nhat …” was translated in to “the most demanding and spectacular day trek”. Demanding means needing a lot of skill, patience, effort, etc (Oxford Dictionary). By using the word “demanding”, the translator must have thought that “mat nhieu thoi gian” required tourists their patience, effort and skill when taking part in this trek. Moreover, the word “day” standing before trek helps readers to assume that the trip may have lasted up to 1 day. The translator must have put himself into the context carefully when putting “day” in front of “trek”. However, the translator should split this sentence into two new sentences so that readers will not be confused. Long sentences like those in the Vietnamese version will make readers hard to understand the translation.

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh, SPAV 01 K30, 7044734

Paragraph 19

I find that this paragraph is not easy to translate, but the translator was very skillful. He used the approriate word choices and sentences structures. However, I think that in translation text, there are some thing that I want to change to make the text better:
-The word "noi" (first sentence) should be translated as "consider...as" because this sentence is to talk about the thought, opinion of Vietnamese, this's not a simple event
-The word "stone" can be understood as "ngoc". For me, I'll use "pearl"
-"That" (first sentence) is not needed, because there's no relationshipwith the previous sentence, "that" should be replaced by "the" since Bach Long Vi is a specific place.
-"Chiec duoi cua con rong" should be translated as "dragon's tail", should not be "created by the dragon's whisking tail"
-"Doi Ngoc Son" is "Ngoc Son hill", not "Ngoc Son Mountain", because the difference in the size between "hill" and "mountain", "hill" is smaller and lower than "mountain", we should use the approriate one :"hill"
-The phrase "duoc xat dung tu the ki 11" is something belongs to the past, the translator should use the simle past in translation, so the phrase "date from the eleventh century" is not approriate because it's simple present tense. According to me, I'll translate as "which was built in eleventh century"
-In the third sentence, the translator missed translating the word "Ngay nay". I think we should add "Nowadays" at the begining of this sentence.

Ngoc said...

7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph 16 (p.21) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty

This paragraph is short but I discover many interesting points in its organization and structural use.

The first sentence was translated quite closely to the Vietnamese original paragraph.

In the next two sentences, there are important changes that I will analyze as follows:

The English translation broke the second sentence in Vietnamese into two sentences. The first one describes the situation while the second one describes the result. Instead of translating the phrase “dot chay toan bo” as “burn the entire fleet” or “set the entire fleet on fire”, the author here used “set the entire invading fleet afire”. This way made the sentence sound more accurate, convincing and more natural.

The second sentence also contains special points. I pay attention to the phrase “winds from the northeast” Why didn’t the author use “the northeast winds”? In my opinion, both of them are similar but using prepositional phrase to modify a noun helps explain the noun more exactly. Here, in this context, the readers will understand that the winds come from the northeast.

One more time, the translator used the structure “set something adjective”. Both “afire” and “aflame” are adjectives and means burn strongly. This way of translation appeared to be very effective because it emphasizes that the subject actively cause the action (the Vietnamese defenders).

Finally, the last sentence ended without a verb. We can see only the subject; however, we still understand which verb may be used here “Hence, the name “Bai Chay” (Burning Plain) was called after this event” or “Hence, people called this area “Bai Chay” (Burning Plain).”

In conclusion, the paragraph was translated quite closely to the Vietnamese original one. The author was flexible in structural use and word choice to make the translation as simple as it could. This translation is not only easy to understand but also natural in terms of meaning.


7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph taken from website http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/

The Vietnamese original text

Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng: Quyết tâm hoàn thành các chỉ tiêu kế hoạch 5 năm (2006-1010)
Ngày 23/9/2007.Cập nhật lúc 9h 37'

Trong các cuộc tiếp xúc với cử tri thành phố Hải Phòng trong hai ngày 21 và 22/9, Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng khẳng định, Chính phủ quyết tâm trong năm 2008 cơ bản hoàn thành các chỉ tiêu đặt ra trong kế hoạch phát triển kinh tế xã hội 5 năm 2006-2010. Mục tiêu của kế hoạch này là phấn đấu nâng thu nhập bình quân đầu người đạt 960 USD và giảm tỷ lệ hộ nghèo xuống còn 11%, đưa đất nước sớm ra khỏi tình trạng kém phát triển. Thủ tướng đã thông báo với cử tri huyện Thủy Nguyên và quận Hồng Bàng về tình hình kinh tế xã hội của đất nước năm 2007.Thủ tướng cũng đã giải đáp các kiến nghị bức xúc của nhân dân về giải phóng mặt bằng, phát triển làng nghề, bảo vệ môi trường, chính sách cho người dân sau khi bị thu hồi đất, cải cách thủ tục hành chính, an toàn giao thông.

BTK-TTX

The English translation

PM Nguyen Tan Dung: determined to fulfill socio-economic development targets for the 2006-2010 period.

Updated on 9/23/2007 at 15:15

At the meeting On September 22, Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung and a number of National Assembly (NA) deputies from Hai Phong port City briefed the local voters in Thuy Nguyen district of the socio-economic situation in 2007 and the plans for 2008. In 2008, the Government is determined to fulfill all its socio-economic development targets for the 2006-2010 period, in which Vietnam will raise per capita income to US$960 per year and reduce the number of poor households to 11 percent. Mr Dung and the NA deputies also replied to many voters questions about the development of craft villages and industrial parks, environmental protection and land management policies.

(CPV/VOV News)

My comments

This translation expressed the meaning of the Vietnamese original paragraph successfully. However, I find it quite different from the original text in terms of organizing the ideas.

In the original text, the first sentence became the second sentence in the translation. Moreover, the two sentences in Vietnamese text were combined into one sentence with the relative clause “in which…”. Then, there are total changes in the order of sentences among the paragraph. However, the author still kept the expected meaning of the original text.

The translation used the verb “to fulfill” in the second sentence, which expressed accurately what the Vietnamese text meant. In my opinion, we can also use “accomplish”, “achieve”, etc but “fulfill” is probably the best one.

Another different point in the translation is its word choice. The original text “các chỉ tiêu đặt ra trong kế hoạch phát triển kinh tế xã hội 5 năm 2006-2010” was translated into “its socio-economic development targets for the 2006-2010 period”. Then the translation did not include the word “plan” in this phrase. The phrase should have been “targets in its socio-economic development plan”.

Finally, the author did not translate the entire phrase in the last sentence of the original text. There are 6 phrases in the Vietnamese text but the translation only 3 of them. In my opinion, the translation should translate all of the phrases listed in the original text. Otherwise, the translation did not cover the meaning of the original paragraph closely.

In conclusion, this paragraph is simple and understandable. However, it is not very close to the meaning of the original paragraph. The author should not have omitted many necessary parts in the original paragraph.

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh, SPAV 01 K30, 7044734

Vietnamese text:
Moi ngay it nhat mot lan, con meo den gia nua cua chung toi lai mon men den gan voi bo dang nhu dang can mot nhu cau dac biet nao do. No khong co ve doi an hay muon duoc tha ra ngoaima duong nhu no can mot dieu gi do khac han. Neu ban cho no nam len dui, no se nhay phoc len. Moi lan nhu vay, no bat dau rung minh khi ban gai lung, xoa cam cho no va lien tuc vo ve rang no la mopt con meo con de thuong vo cung.

English text:
At least onece a day our old black cat comes to one of us in a way thatwe've all come to see as a special request. It does not mean he wants to be fed, or to be let out. His need is for something very different. If you have a lap handy, he'll jump into it. Once in it, he begins to vibrate almost before you stroke his back, scrath his chin, and tell him over and over what a good kitty he is.

My suggestions:
This is a very good translation text. This paragraph has a lot of difficult words for translating. However, the translator works very well. Besides, I have some little comments to make it better. Instead of using the phrase "comes to " (mon men den gan), I think the phrase "approaches gradually" is better because "comes to" can't illustrate the slow of the movement. And I'll change the phrase "in a way that we've come to see as a special request" into "as if it needs a special demand". The word "before" (last sentence) should be change into "when" because the Vietnamese text does not mention something happens before something, all the actions happen together.

Au Cai Jin said...

7044783 Au Tai Tien aucaijin@gmail.com
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Comment 01
Book: Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Paragraph 129, Page 98-99

After reading paragraph 129 about Vietnam’s famous caves, I realize a number of mistakes in the English version. Most of mistakes are pleonastic error, word choice error and semantic error.

The author translates "những hang động" as "caves and grottoes" in English. I wonder why he understands this word as "hang" and "động", and translates separately. It seems that he gets a pleonastic mistake because "caves" has the same meaning with "grottoes" (both means "hang động" in Vietnamese). Therefore, I suggest translating the first two sentences as "Visitors to Việt Nam have the chance to explore a variety of caves. Limestone caves are found mostly in the north of Việt Nam, particularly in Hạ Long Bay."

"Động Trinh Nữ" and "động Trống", as I understand based on the original, are the two different caves. However, the author translates them as "Trinh Nữ and Trống (Virgin and Male) Grottoes" making an ambiguity - it is like the name of an only cave. Furthermore, I have looked for many websites to get more information about Ha Long Bay, but there is no cave which called "Male Grotto". I wonder if the author misunderstands the word "Trống" or he considers it as "Hòn Trống Mái (Male and Female Island)". I think "động Trống" must translate as "Drum Cave" in English.

Besides, should "hang Sửng Sốt" translate as "Amazing Cave" or "Surprise Grotto"? And should "hang Đầu Gỗ" be "Timber-Hiding Cave" in English? I'm sure that the English just understand "Timber-Hiding Cave" as "hang Giấu Gỗ", so this is an extremely bad translation (in case that the original is right).

(Reference website: http://www.columbuscruise.com/word.asp)
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Comment 02

Vietnamese Paragraph:
From “Việt Nam danh lam cổ tự,” Page IX
(By Võ Văn Tường)
Một đặc trưng nổi bật của kiến trúc phật giáo Việt Nam là không có những công trình lớn lao đồ sộ, trái lại, các chùa tháp đều có vóc dáng vừa phải, xinh xắn, nhẹ nhàng, thậm chí có khi nhỏ bé gần như những am cốc của các vị ẩn sĩ độc cư. Chùa không lớn nhưng chùa rất nhiều, điều này tưởng cũng có thể nói lên một khía cạnh tích cực của tâm lý người Việt, và chính vì thế mà khắp giang sơn hầu như được tô điểm bằng cái tinh thần thanh tịnh, hiền hòa của đạo lý đức Thích Ca.

English Version:
Vietnam’s Famous Ancient Pagodas
(Translators: Trần Tuấn Mẫn & Ngô Thị Liên)
A remarkable characteristic of Vietnam Buddhist architecture is that there are not any gigantic, magnificent constructions. Instead, there are pagodas and stupas, moderate in shape, pretty and refined in style, and even little in structure like the huts of the recluses secluding from the world. Vietnam’s pagodas are diminutive but abundant. This probably relates to an active aspect of Vietnamese psychology. Therefore, the whole country is decorated with the pure, gentle spirit of Sakyamuni Buddha’s Teaching.
------------------------------

I think this is a good translation. The translator chooses English words correctly. For example, "những công trình lớn lao đồ sộ" translates as "gigantic, magnificent constructions." It is clear that "lớn lao đồ sộ" in Vietnamese mostly includes the meaning "tráng lệ, lộng lẫy", especially when discribing constructions; therefore, "gigantic, magnificent constructions" is a good choice.

Moreover, the author do not translate "tháp" as "towers" but "stupas". Why? We should consider the "tháp" in case of Buddhist architecture - "tháp thường là nơi chứa hài cốt các vị sư trụ trì" which is often called "Buddhist sacred tower" or "stupa". So it is very sensible to use the word "stupas" instead of "towers".

"Không lớn" translates as "diminutive – bé nhỏ", a good way to avoid word-for-word translation. Similarly, the author translates "điều này tưởng cũng có thể nói lên..." as "this probably relates to... (điều này gần như gắn liền với...)", making this sentence more understandable. I suggest translating this sentence (by another word) as "this may also displays an active aspect of Vietnamese psychology."

Finally, I think using more simple sentences makes the translation clearer and easier to understand.

Dao Thi Luong said...

7044735-Dao Thi Luong-lauradao86@gmail.com
Comment 1
Book: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty-Paragraph 27-page 27.
In general, I think the English translation text is good. It sticks to the Vietnamese original rather closely in terms of both meaning and structures. The word choice is simple but it can help convey the ideas of the paragraph in Vietnamese into English completely. The structures used are organized clearly. They are very similar to Vietnamese structures, but still sound English. There is only a small mistake of the translator that s/he doesn’t translate the word “noi tieng” in the second sentence.
Comment 2
Book: “Luyen Dich Viet-Anh”, quyen 4, Tac gia :Ho Van Hoa, nxb Da Nang.
Bai 91, trang 330.
Vietnamese text:
Y phuc bang lua to tam – loai y phuc sang trong quy nhat cua Phuong Dong da noi bat trong lich su va huyen thoai A dong. Qua nhieu the ky, viec mac y phuc bang lua to tam da la dac quyen cua quy toc Trung Quoc, va su hieu biet ve nuoi tam lay to(da) la bi mat phai duoc giu kin. Tham chi ngay nay, sau hon 4.000 kham pha, viec nuoi tam lay to tren quy mo rong lon hau nhu hoan toan bi han che trong khu vuc chau A.
English translation text:
Silks, the most precious finery of the Orient, were prominent in history and oriental mythology. The wearing of silks was for centuries the exclusive right of the Chinese nobility, and knowledge of sericulture was a zealously guarded secret. Even today, more than 4,000 years after its discovery, sericulture on the large scale is confined almost entirely to Asia.
Comment:
I find the translation text really impressive because of the translator’s word choices. Those words are very good and effective because this is a formal text , the words must be chosen well ,such as “finery”, “ prominent”, “mythology”, “sericulture”. The structures used are rather close to the Vietnamese ones apart from some changes of the translator in order to make the text sound more English. For example, s/he puts adverbial phrases of time in the middle of the sentence instead of the beginning , such as “for centuries”, “after its discovery”. However, I think in the phrase “a zealously guarded secret” the word “zealously” can be deleted because “secret” implies “zealously”.

trang said...

Student’s code: 7044743
Student’s name: Nguyen Thi Minh Trang
Email: nmtrang86@gmail.com

Cua NgParaph 19 page 23

If the translator translates the sentence: “đảo Bạch Long Vĩ ở gần đó trông như chiếc đuôi của con rồng vậy” into “Bạch Long Vĩ Island nearby looks as if it were created by the dragon’s whisking tail”. I will understand this sentence with another Vietnamese meaning: đảo Bạch Long Vĩ ở gần bên trông như thể nó được tạo ra từ cái đuôi rồng đang vẫy. In general, it has the same meaning with the source but this sentence is too long and complicated. I think a translation must be short and simple enough for readers to understand. In this sentence, it is not necessary to use “as if-clause”. I have another way to translate without using as if-clause:Bạch Long Vĩ Island nearby looks like a dragon’s tail. I use “ like” with a noun phrase in stead of “as if” with a clause. Besides, I think it is not necessary to use the word “whisking” before the word “tail” because it is not mentioned in the source.
I was confused when I read the sentence in the translation: “Đồ Sơn’s Tường Long Tower atop Ngọc Sơn Mountain dates from the eleventh century”. Firstly, I can not undestand the meaning of the word “atop”. I think this word is wrong in spelling. The translation should use the phrase “ on the top of” to translate Vietnamese phrase “ nằm trên đỉnh”. Secondly, I disagree when the translator uses the word “ mountain” to translate Vietnamese word “ đồi”. I think the word “ hill” is more suitable because a hill is lower than a mountain and “hill” means “đồi” in Vietnamese. Lastly, I do not think the translator is good to translate Vietnamese word “ xây dựng” into “ date from”. “Date from” means “have its orgins at particular time”. In the source, the author says: “Tòa tháp Tường Long nằm trên đỉnh đồi Ngọc Sơn của Đồ Sơn đã được xây dựng từ thế kỉ 11”. This means that the time when Tường Long Tower was built was from the eleventh century. The time of building is not the same with the time of dating. Its orgin is maybe at another time. Therefore, we can not use “ date from” in the translation. In addition, the tense which the translator uses in this sentence is not appropriate. It should be used with simple past tense in stead of simple present tense. This is my translation: Đồ Sơn’s Tường Long Tower on the top of Ngọc Sơn hill was built from the eleventh century.
The translator does not keep full meaning when he translates the sentence: “Ngày nay chỉ còn lại móng của tòa tháp 10 tầng này” into “Only the foundation of the ten-story tower remains”. Translator forgets to translate the word “ngày nay” which prefer to present time. We can use “today” to translate this word into English.
The meaning is not clear when the translator translates the last sentence: “Điều này chứng tỏ công trình được xây dựng năm 1057” into “This would place the date at 1057”. I have another translation: This demonstrates that this construction was formed in 1057.

XÂY SÂN GÔN ĐƯỢC DỰNG Ở SÔNG BÉ

Công ty Xuất Nhập Khẩu và Sàn Xuất của tỉnh Sông Bé đã hợp tác đầu tư với công ty Singapo TCI để xây dựng một sân gôn ở huyện Thuận An, cách thành phố Hồ Chí Minh 20 cây số về phía bắc. Một giấy phép đã được Ủy Ban Hợp Tác và Đầu Tư Nhà Nước cấp.
Sân gôn sẽ chiếm một diện tích 104 hécta nằm dọc theo quốc độ 13 sẽ được xây dựng thêm một số câu lạc bộ, hồ bơi….
Kế hoạch hy vọng được hoàn tất cho tới cuốio tháng chín năm 1995 với tổng số vốn đầu tư gần 50 triệu Mỹ Kim.

Bài dịch:
GOLF COURSE TO BE BUILT IN SONG BE

The Manufacturing and Import-Export Company of Song Be province has join in a venture with the Singaporean-based TCI Co to construct a golf course in Thuan An district which is 20 kilometers away from Ho Chi Minh City to the north. A licence has been granted by the State Committee for Cooperation and Investment SCCI.
The golf course which will cover an area of 104 hectares lying along the 13th National Route will be accompanied by a number of clubs, swimming pools etc…
The project will have been finished by september, 1995 with a total invested capital of nearly USD 50 million.

My comments
First of all, I wonder why the translator uses preposition “to” in the title of “Golf course to be built in Song Be”. To use preposition “to”, there must be a verb before. But in this phrase, before preposition “to” is a noun, there is no verb. However, we can not use a verb before “to” because this phrase will become a sentence which is not acceptable in a title. A title must be a word, or a phrase usually noun phrase, not a sentence. So I agree with the translator when he translates a Vietnamese sentence into English phrase in the title. But I do not like the way he translates in this phrase. Although in the source, the sentence of the title is in passive voice, we do not to keep the passive voice in the translation. We need to keep the main idea and can change the form reasonably. I have another way to translate this title:Construction of Golf Course in Song Be. I change “to be built” into a noun which has the same meaning- “construction”.
I disagree when the translator uses the phrase “join in a venture” for translating Vietnamese phrase “hợp tác đầu tư”. The word “venture” is from “adventure”. Both of them have the same meaning. So it is clearly that the word “venture” is not suitable in this situation. The verb “join” means participating in a organization, a meeting, or a party. But in the source, the author uses the verb “hợp tác” which means cooperating between two companies. Therefore, a suitable phrase here is: investment cooperation.
I do not understand when the translator uses “based” between the nationality and the name of the company. I think “based” is not necessary in this position. It can be deleted because the appropriate positon here is natonality first, and then the name of the company: the Singaporean TCI company.
“The golf course which will cover an area of 104 hectares lying along the 13th National Route will be accompanied by a number of clubs, swimming pools etc…”. In this sentence, the translator uses two relative pronoun so the sentence becomes long and complicated. I think it is not necessary to use the first relative pronoun. We should change the clause “the golf course which will cover an area of 104 hectares” into a phrase. This is my translation: The 104-hectare golf course. This translation will be shorter anad more simple for readers to understand.
I disagree when the translator uses preposition “by” to translate Vietnamese word “cho tới”. In the source, the author writes: “Kế hoạch hy vọng được hoàn tất cho tới cuối tháng chín năm 1995”. If the translator uses “by”, the meaning of the source will change into “kế hoạch hy vọng được hoàn tất trước tháng chín năm 1995”. Therefore, preposition “by” is not appropriate. In English, we can use preposition “until” in this situation. It means “mãi cho đến” in Vietnamese.

thu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thu said...

Student’s code:7044741
Student’s name: Le Viet Thu
Email: jennythu@gmail.com


Compulsory paragraph: Paragraph 127
General speaking, this translated text is quite good. The author is successful in translating. It conveys most meaning of the original text. In fact, what I take notice on this translated text is the way the writer use phrase ‘five kilometers north of Da Lat’ which means ‘…nam o phia bac va cach Da Lat 5km..’ in the original text. Although it seems strange to me, I know that there is another way to translate that phrase beside using a verb ‘to locate’ or some thing else. The writer is also successful in word choice. His/her choice is quite exactly. Also in this translated text, the writer uses reduction in the relative clause that makes the sentence seem shorter. For example, the writer reduces relative clause in the first sentence and the last one in the translated text. For the first sentence, reduction is reflected in ‘this area five kilometers north of Da Lat’. In this reduced phrase, ‘five kilometers’ play a role as adjective modified to ‘north’ which is seen as a noun in this context. And the entire reduced relative clause ‘five kilometers north of Da Lat’ modifies ‘area’. I like this way of translating. The other sentence which is al so use clause reduction is ‘The valley continues to attract people, both young and old’. In the reduced clause, ‘young and old’ here are adjective reflecting the quality of the people it modify. In my idea, ‘young and old’ are considered as people. It may be true.
However, in the original text, s/he should revise some points. For the first sentence in both texts, it seems quite long. In my opinion, this sentence in translated text should be divided into two sentences. Although a sentence in the original text contains more than one idea, in translated text, there should be two different sentences with each containing one idea. That makes readers feel easy while reading the text. For example, the sentence ‘This area five kilometers north of Da Lat consists of hills, lakes, pine forest, and fragrant wild flowers an was known as the ‘Valley of Peace’ during the reign of Emperor Bao Dai’. This one should divide. The first one is ‘This area five………, and fragrant wild flowers’ enough because its meaning is full. The second sentence is ‘During the reign of Emperor Bao Dai, this was known as the ‘Peace Valley’. In this second part, I change the structure and the position of words in ‘Peace Valley’. I change the structure because when putting the adverbial clause of time at the beginning of the sentence, the meaning of the sentence is reflected clearly and more convinced. The ‘Peace Valley’ is changed just because it is quite short, but conveys the same meaning to ‘Valley of Peace’. For the rest part of the text, I think that these two last sentences are alright. I have any idea or comment for them because I will also translate them the same.
One more thing I want to discuss is the phrase ‘The Valley of Love’. In my opinion, it should be ‘The Love Valley’ because it is shorter than the former but has the same meaning. And because when reading in some newspapers I recognize that some translators use ‘The Love Valley’, and even in this area, people also use ‘The Love Valley’. Therefore, ‘The Love Valley’ should be used replacing for ‘The Valley of Love’.
Any way, this translated text is good


Optional paragraph:
Vietnamese text: ‘Elvis Presley mat vao ngay 16 thang 8 nam 1997. Dau tien, cac phong vien cho rang ong bi suy tim, nhung cac cuoc kiem tra sau do cho that co nhieu thuoc ngu trong nguoi ong. Cac chuyen gia dong y rang co the day la nguyen nhan a gay ra cai chet cua ong.’
Translated text: ‘Elvis Presley died on August 16th, 1977. First reports said he had a heart attack, but later tests showed many drugs in his body. Experts agree that these drugs probably caused his death’
(taken from Nhung bai luyen dich Viet Anh theo chu diem Nguyen Thanh Tam)
Comment:
In general, this text is translated carefully. However, this translated text should be revised because there are some problems in word choice that is not suitable to the context or even wrong.
First sentence is right. However, the author should add a preposition ‘in’ before ‘1977’ because this is in written, not in spoken, and it sounds more polite if the author use proposition before year.
For the next sentence, the first word should be changed is ‘reports’, because in this context, ‘reports’ do not indicate person that the original text requires. ‘Report’ here indicates the document contained the ideas or opinions of one person and vice versa in the original context, ‘phong vien’ is a kind of job and it also indicates the person who does this job. In my opinion, the better word is ‘Journalists’ or ‘reporters’. It sounds logical. Another word should be changed is ‘heart attack’. This word means ‘con dau tim’, and it is not appropriate the meaning in the Vietnamese text ‘con suy tim’. I think the words convey that meaning is ‘heart failure’. In addition, ‘test’ should be changed because ‘test’ is a mean of evaluation and it may be an examination or a trial. So, in my idea, it should be ‘experiment’ which is appropriate to the original text. The last word should be change is ‘drug’. In the untranslated text, ‘thuoc ngu’ is used but when translating, the author uses ‘drug’. ‘Drug’ means a medical substance that makes one person to be addicted when using regularly. However, I think the most suitable word for this Vietnamese word is ‘soporific’ which is used in Medicine. As a result, the adjective ‘many’ will be replaced by ‘much’ because ‘soporific’ is uncountable noun.
For the last sentence, there is no matter with word choice but the tense used. In the second sentence, the author use simple past tense for verb ‘say’, but in the last one s/he use simple present tense for verb ‘agree’. It should be ‘agreed’ in order to relevant to the tense of the above sentence.