Tuesday, October 30, 2007

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Deadline for your posts will be 17:00 Saturday, 3 Nov 2007

26 comments:

linhda said...

Dear teacher,
I received your feedback "Approved" for week 4, so i just posted for week 2,3,5, and 6.

My comment for week 2
Paragraph 2 (page 9):
When I read the English translated paragraph and compare with the vietnamse one, I found them rather closed in term of meaning. In the English one, I suppose that the translator is clever in choosing words. They are chosen and used in different suitable cases. The author is successful in avoiding repeating words many times. And as a result, the translation is very smooth, and it is very easy for the readers to understand. I also support the way to divide the number of the sentences in the English translation one. In the original one, the number of the sentences is 3, but in the translated one, the number is six. However, the content of the reading is still kept. It’s better for the translation because it sounds reasonable in English with the translator’s division. If the translator kept the same structure, it would be very strange.
However, there are still some points that I am not really satisfied with. First of all, in the first sentence, I wonder that Vietnam is located on the Eastern Sea as the author’s idea or Dong Sea. Then, when I thought carefully, I suppose both of them are right. Vietnamese people have tendency to name bridge, sea or river etc basing on its direction. In the second sentence, I think we should translate “Vietnamese people” not “Vietnamese” only. If I were the translator, I would translate “two large bamboo baskets are made of bamboo” and change “carrying pole” into “shoulder pole” that maybe not made of bamboo. In addition, I think land in word “reclamation” and land in word “protection” are different, so we can use nation or country to go with “nation protection”. Some tenses are used should be changed also. The verb “extent” should be changed “has extended” because it has existed many centuries. And in the last sentence, we will change “created” into “has created” because we don’t know exactly the time.

Extra exercise
Source: Vietnamese- English Translation 1 ( composed by Nguyen Thanh Duc)
The purposes of forcing each pupil to take the exam of math and Vietnamese language subjects in excellent elementary pupil exam are not defined clearly. If the exam makes contribution to discover improve future talents, there are few talents who are good at social and natural sciences. If the exam helps develop the individual aptitudes and create excitement in study, it is not a real ground. Due to a must to take part in 2 subjects (no other choice), the pupils share their time and efforts for their unfavorable subject.

Muïc ñích cuûa viec baét buoäc moãi hoïc sinh phaûi döï thi caû 2 moân Toaùn vaø Tieáng Vieït trong kyø thu hoïc sinh gioûi tieåu hoïc khoâng ñöôïc xaùc ñinh roõ raøng vaø cuï theå. Neáu kyø thi nhaèm goùp phaàn phaùt hieän vaø boài döôõng taøi naêng töông lai thì ít coù taøi naêng naøo laïi gioûi caû caùc moan töï nhieân laaxn xaõ hoäi. Neáu noùi kyø thi nhaèm ñaùp öùng nhu caafu phat trieån naêng löïc caù nhaân, taïo söï höùng thuù trong hoïc taäp cho hoïc sinh thì laïi caøng khoâng thích hôïp. Chính vì phaûi hoïc caû 2 moân ( maø khoâng ñöôïc löïa choïn phöông aùn naøo khaùc) neân buoäc hoïc sinh phaûi san seû thôøi gian vaø söùc löïc cho moat moan hoïc maø mình khoâng yeâu thích
My comment
In my opinion, the English translated paragraph is a good one. The way that the translator has expressed has the close meaning to the Vietnamese paragraph. It is easy for me to follow
The word choice is also good, but it will be better if the translator changes some words. For example, I don’t think that “talents” can be written in the plural form with “s” ending. The translator should use “both……and……”, and if the first part of the last sentence, if the translator uses “must”, he or she should use “the pupils have to share”. It will be more logical in translation. And in the last sentence, the translator should correct structural mistake. We can use “because of” instead of “Due to”
September 17, 2007 4:48 PM
Nguyen Thi Linh Da
Student’s code :7044728 -A1
nguyenthilinhda@gmail.com

My comment for week 3
Tra Co Beach (paragraph 5, page 13)
Here my comment:
The content of translation reading paragraph is about Tra Co Beach - the small peninsula in Quaûng Ninh Province. When I read it, I found it good translation. One point that I like in this translation is the translator keeps the same number of sentences and some structures as in the Vietnamese one’s. For example, one or two first words in each sentence are also the first ones in the original ones such as “Tra Co” in both two translation paragraph, “Residents of small village” in the English paragraph and “cö daân cuûa nhöõng laøng nhoû” in the Vietnamese one. And the way in which the translator broke the sentence is in the same one in Vietnamese reading. For instance, in the second sentence, “Baõi bieån Traø Coå.......Hoøn Ngoïc, vôùi nhöõng ñuïn caùt....ñöôùc” while the translator translated “its seventeen.....(Pearl Cape), with..... mangroves”. I suppose this using way is ok. And in the first sentence, apposition was used successfully by the translator
Besides, the translator is also successful in choosing words. Some words were used exactly like “sand dunes” or “Tra Co accommodates”
However, if I were the translator, I would change a little bit in word choice. The first case is the word “Flock”. I know that “flock” sometimes means “gather”, but it is better in using for some animals like bird. For people in general, we should use “gather” instead of “flock”. Another one is the word “Boast”. I think that this word has negative meaning. If we want to talk about some places’ beauty, we should try another word or expression like ‘It is (Tra Co) is famous for............”
Here are my ideas about the reading’s structure. There are still some ways of using unreasonable words. In the second sentence, we can make it shorten by this way “its seventeen- kilos meter beaches stretching.....mangroves”. And in the third sentence, we should consider the order of it. In stead of “residents of small villages dotting............” we can say “residents of the small dotting village”


Extra activity: Vietnamese- English Translation 1 ( composed by Nguyen Thanh Duc)

Khoâng theå phuû nhaän veà thaønh töïu phaùt trieån cuûa Vieät Nam trong 5 naêm vöøa qua, ñaëc bieät laø veà caùc chæ soá phaùt trieån kinh teá nhöng caùc baïn haõy nhìn sang nöôùc laùng gieàng laø trung quoác- hoï ñang phaùt trieån raát nhanh choùng. Do ñoù, naêm 2003 cuûa Vieät Nam vieäc ñaåy nhanh toác ñoä phaùt trieån kinh teá hôn nöõa thì raát khoù ruùt ngaén ñöôïc khoûang caùch giöõa Vieät Nam vaø caùc nöôùc trong khu vöïc cuõng nhö treân theá giôùi.

It’simpossible to deny the acheivement in development of Viet Nam last year, especially the indices of economic development. Hower, please have a look at our neighbor country China. It is under rapid development. As a result, if Viet Nam doesn’t speed up the economic growth in 2003, it’s very hard to shorten the gap between Viet Nam and other countries in the region as well as in the world.

Here My comment:
First of all, it seems that the translator translated word by word from Vietnamese to English although the general meaning is still kept in two paragraphs. And in the English translated paragrapgh, there are a lot spelling mistakes such as “It’simpossible” it’s impossible, “achievement” achievement, and “hower” however. Moreover, the translator’s word choice is not very suitable and the word’s arrangement is not reasonable. For instance, the translator used “Please have a look”. I think this case is in formal situation, and “please” is too informal to use. The translators have translated wrong ideas in the original one. In the original one, they wrote “hoï ñang phaùt trieån raát nhanh choùng”, however, “It is under rapid development” that has opposite meaning. In addition, i think that it will be better if we use “Therefore” instead of “as a result”.
Anyway, it is also a good translation text!
September 24, 2007 4:01 PM
nguyenthilinhda@gmail.com


Paragraph 12/ Page 17
Here my comment for week 5

We can say that this paragraph is not an easy reading text to translate because it describes a natural picture with difficult words in art. Therefore, the author has described carefully in the original one. Readers have feelings that some creatures such as seas, trees, wall of stones in the text are alive, and they have their own feelings. It is called metaphor.
When we read the English translated text, the translator is successful in translating. First of all, word choice is good. The translator must be very careful in choosing words. They have close meaning with the original one. Besides, words are used alternatively when the translator translated from “ngoằn nghoeo” into “meandering” in the first case, and “winding” in the second case. They are all suitable uses. The translator also changes some expression of words to make them more familiar in English.
However, if I were the translator, I would change some expressions of words in some sentences. In the first sentence, because they say “bốn mùa” in Vietnamese, we should say “four seasons” instead all seasons in English. We say “in the spring” because there is only spring in a year.
In the first time, the translator uses “deep blue”, but he (she) uses “blue depths” in the second time. I think the translator should keep “deep blue” or “water of deep blue” in this expression. One more thing is in the fourth sentence in which the translator describes blossoming flowers as snowy flowers. In my opinion, these flowers are blossoming like snowy flower. So, we could not use “bloom with snowy flowers”. The last point is in the last sentence “the winding route feels endless”. I wonder how the route could “feel” endless here. So, only tourists can feel “endless”, otherwise we should say “the tourists feel endless by winding route”.

Extra Activities:
Source: Luyen dich Anh-Viet, Viet-Anh ( Lê Huy Lâm- Trương Hoàng Duy- Phan Văn Thuận)

CHÙA LÀNG TÔI
Chùa làng tôi lợp bằng ngói, đằng trước có sân, bên cạnh coa ao, xung quanh có vườn. Ở trước sân có tam quan, trên là gác chuông, dưới là cửa ra vào. Trong chùa, trên bệ cao thì có nhiều tưọng phật bằng gỗ, sơn sun thếp vàng. Sau chùa thì có nhà tổ và chỗ các sư ở. Hai bên thì là nhà khách, ngaòi sân chùa thì có bia đá ghi công đức những người có công với nhà chùa, ngoài vườn có vài ngọn táhp, là mộ những vị sư đã tịch ở đay
Ngày rằm, mồng một, cứ tối đến tôi thường theo bà tôi lên chùa. Sư cụ tụng kinh, gõ mõ ngồi ở trên, bà tôi và các bà già ngồi ở dưới. Trên bàn thờ thì đèn sang choang, khói hương nghi ngút, trông thật nghiêm trang

THE PAGODA OF MY VILLAGE
The roof of the village pagoda is covered with tiles, in front is a court, next to it is a pond and a garden around. In front of the court is a tree- entrance porch, on top of it is a bell- tower, and under it is an entrance door. In the pagoda, on a high platform, are numerous wooden, red-painted and golden-gilded statues of buddhas. Behind, this is a living room of the senior and residential quarters of the other marks. There are guest house on both sides, in the court, there is a stele on which the merits and good deeds of those who have done to the pagoda are inscribed; in the garden, there are some towers which are tombs of monks who died here.
On the 15th and 1st of each month, in the evening, I often follow my grandmother to the pagoda. The senior monk sitting on the higher platform says prayers and other old ladies sit on a lower platform. On the alter, the lamps and candies are shining bright, and joss sticks are sending out incense smoke wich looks really solemn

Here my comment:
This is also description reading text. The reading is about a pagoda. The translator has to describe from outside of pagoda into the inside. Besides, there are some special terms related to pagoda like “tam quan” or “bệ cao”. It is also a challenge in this translation reading. However, the translator has finished it perfectly. The reading text is translated rather detail as in the original one from outside into inside
And the way in which the translator chooses words is very suitable. They have close meaning with in the Vietnamese reading text.
We should capitalize first letter in “Buddhas”.
There is a sentence in which the translator keeps the same structure as in the Vietnamese one. Therefore, it becomes wrong in English structure. It should be better with “On the 15th and 1st of each month, I often follow my grandmother to the pagoda in the evening”. And we should use “pass away” instead of using “died” to talk about monks’ deaths.
In general, the English text still keeps the general meaning with the Vietnamese original with reasonable structures.
7044728-Nguyen Thi LInh Da -Group A1
October 8, 2007 4:03 PM
nguyenthilinhda@gmail.com


The comment for week 6
My comment on The Paragraph 67 in Page 57:
Bach Ma National Park

The English translated reading text is a good one. On the whole, the translator has kept the general meaning in comparison with the Vietnamese reading one. In addition, the translator has kept the same sentence structure in two first sentences.

In the first sentence, it is right when the translator translated “Bien Dong” into “Eastern Sea” , but “Vietnamese-Lao border” is not very good choice. It should be “Vietnam-Lao border” because it is the border between two countries Vietnam and Lao whereas the translator means nationality. And in the second sentence, when we talk about “điểm cực bắc”, we can use “Northernmost part” instead of “at the end of the North” in the reading. And i think we should use “top” to indicate the highest part of a mountain. In the third sentence, the translator has changed the structural sentence, but the translator’s word choice is not very suitable. For instance, to describe streams and rivers, the translator has used “complex” and the system of streams and rivers in the text are not pluralized. It is supposed ……..

In the last sentence, the translator’s word choice is Ok except using “offering” to create “scenic splendours”. Should this sentence be as “….lakes and lagoons creating splendid sceneries”

Here my opinions about the translation reading”


Extra Activity:
Source:Luyen dich Anh-Viet, Viet-Anh ( Lê Huy Lâm- Trương Hoàng Duy- Phan Văn Thuận)


Tổ chức y tế thế giới (WHO) đã chọn ngày 7 tháng 4 hàng năm làm Ngày Thế Giới không hút thuốc lá. tác hại của thuốc lá thì ai cũng biết, và con số những nơi công cộng cấm hút thuốc đang nagỳ càng nhiều. Sự công khai hợp lý mà công luận đã đưa ra trong thời gian dài và việc truyền bá các phương cách hữu hiệu để từ bỏ thuốc lá đã tạo nên các kết quả tích cực và đáng mong đợi đến nỗi nhiều con nghiện đã nói lời từ biệt với thuốc lá. Sau khi chịu đựng nhiều cực hình trong quá trình cai nghiện, phần thưởng mà họ nhận được là kết quả của quá trình cai nghiện đó. Yếu tố quan trọng nhất chắc chắn dẫn đến thành công trong quá trình từ bỏ thuốc lá là tính kiên trì của con người.

The World Health Organization has designated April 7th of each year as the International No-Smoking Day. The harm of smoking has been proverbial, and the number of no-smoking public places is on the increase. The pertinent publicity afforded by public opinion over a long time and the popularization of effective ways of giving up smoking have produced such positive and desirable results that many addicts have kissed tobacco good bye. They have, after suffering a lot in the process of quitting smoking, been amply rewarded by the resultant benefit. The key to quitting smoking altogether lies in perseverance, which is the surest road to success.

Here my comment:
In my opinion, this is a very good translated reading text. The translator is very clever in using words; he (she) has used some flexible expressions of words. For example, the translator has used “designated” instead of using verb “choose” as in the original Vietnamese one. Moreover, he (she) decided word “proverbial” to translate the phrase “thì ai cũng biết”. The sentence structure is also good. The translator has changed some structures to make the reading more varied with keeping the same meaning as in the Vietnamese reading text.

However, the translator’s choice words “kissed tobacco good bye” to mention that smokers quit their smoking habit is not a very successful one. In this case, we can say “….many addicts have given up smoking”.

In general, this translation is also well-translated text, specially i choosing words.
Nguyen Thi Linh Da- 7044728- A1
October 15, 2007 4:06 PM
nguyenthilinhda@gmail.com

minh said...

Vo Thi Minh Due
Class A1
minhdue@gmail.com

Week 2
HA LONG BAY
(Paragraph 11)
After reading this article, I was led from surprised to exciting. The act of using words in Vietnamese translation as well as English one is so excellent. The image of Ha Long bay seems to appear in front of my eyes with many beautiful and romantic scenes. In spite of having different language, the content which the writer want to express, is not changed. For example,” Hon Trong Mai nhu mot doi ga bong benh tren mat nuoc”\”Trong Mai resembles a pair of chickens bobbing in water”. In my opinion, this is a completed translation. If I translate this article, I will use some different words. Perhaps, my translation can be accepted; however, I think it is not lively and persuadable as this one. For example, I will use “from high position” instead of “seen from above”, “look like” instead of “resemble”, Trong Mai island\Trong Mai.
In addition, the one I like best in this article is the special comparison style: “Hon ong going nhu mot vi su gia…bao la”, and in English translation it is not less lively and interesting as the first one “Ong Su looks like an old monk, his face turned out to sea as he clasp his hands…the altar of the sea”. In short, this translation helps me improve my vocabulary as well as choosing words skill.
Assessment
(From 109 Bai Dich Viet- Anh)

Vietnamese article
Các bà vợ có xu hướng tin rằng các ông chồng có tài xoay trở và uyên bác vô hạn.Ngay cả những ông chồng không thể đóng một cây đinh thẳng cũng được coi như những thợ điện,thợ mộc,thợ ống nước và thợ máy bẩm sinh.Khi bóng đèn bị chaý,đồ đạc bị lỏng lẻo,ống nước nghẹt,máy hút bụi không chạy,các bà vợ tự cho rằng chồng họ sẽ sửa lại bằng cách nào đó.Có một điều tệ hạị nhất về trò chơi tự làm lấy là các ông chồng đôi khi sống trong ảo tưởng là họ có kha năng làm bất cứ cái gì,ngay cả khi họ được người khác chứng minh nhiều lần là họ đã làm sai.Nó là một vấn đề danh dự giống như những vấn đề khác.
English article
Wives tend to believe that their husbands are infinitely resourceful and versatile. Even husbands who can hardly drive a nail in straight are supposed to be born electricians, carpenter, plumbers, and mechanics. When light fuse, furniture gets rickety, pipes get clogged, or vacuum cleaners fail to operate , wives automatically assume that their husbands will somehow put things right. The worst thing about the do-it-yourself is that sometime husbands live under the delusion that they can do anything even when they have been repeatedly proved wrong. It is a question of pride as much as anything else.



My comment
The paragraph helps us know more about family life, the thoughts of wives and husbands. In addition, the way of translation is a little special and different from my thought. Without reading this translation, I would use some different phrases which may be less convincible than the phrases in the version. For example, I would transfer “cây đinh thẳng” into “a straight nail” not “a nail in straight”, or “cũng được coi như là” into “are considered to be” instead of “are supposed to be”.
In addition, the one I like best is the sentence ” their husbands will somehow put things right”. This sentence is strange and interesting. In my case, I would translate it into “their husbands will find the way to repair them”. In my opinion, this one is not remarkable as the first one. Although the paragraph has some strange words and structure, the content of it is still kept.

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh, EE 01 course 30, 7044734

Email: duylinhctu@yahoo.com

Dear teacher, I've received your feedback "approved" on week 4. So, I'll send you week 2, 3, 5, 6.

WEEK 2:

Page 13, passage 4

First are something that I support:
With the heading "What are the most favourite islands, bays, and beaches?", I think it's ok because we can understand very easily and can know what the translator are talking about. Furthermore, with the form of a question,the translator can make the readers curious about the passage below and want to read it. In the first sentence, I feel so surprised with "Viet Nam's 3,000-kilometre", because in the Vietnamese text: "Voi bo bien dai 3000km", we can't see the noun. In the translation text, the translator make a noun to preserve the grammar of a sentence. The word "stretches" is chosen very suitable to illustrate the length from Tra Co beach to Ca Mau cape, we can realise that geographical length. The word “co”( co nhieu dao, vinh va bai bien), I will translate “has” instead of "includes", but "includes" is better because it can used to group " islands, bays, and beaches" in one group but "has" can't. The final word is "bao gom" is translated into "range", although "range" doesn't have the closest meaning with " bao gom", it's suitable because of the effect of " from... to" after it. The traslator is very successful in this combination because he can use it to list 4 things follow and devide them into 2 group, it makes the paragraph easier to read and understand.
Second are something I don't agree:
In this passage, there are some words "bai bien", but it's translated by 2 different words "beach" and "coastline". i think they should be the same, not different so that the readers won't misunderstand or feel confused. With "bai bien Tra Co"(Tra Co Beach) and "mui Ca Mau"(Ca Mau Cape), the word "beach" and "cape" shouldn't be capitalized because they're not the proper names. And the second word "Viet Nam"(Viet Nam's southern-most) is not needed because we already have one in the first part, readers can understand without this second word. The word "sporty" is used for "soi dong" not very suitable, "sporty" sounds like something relates to sport, not sightseeing. According to me, I'll use ”interesting” instead.

Vietnamese text:

Giam doc mot doanh nghiep san xuat hang qua tang tai Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh cho biet hien doanh nghiep cua ong co hon 10 mau hang chuan bi tung ra cho dip SEA Games 22 sap toi, nhung doanh ngheip hien nay trong the "tien thoai luong nang" khong the tien hanh len ke hoach san xuat duoc vi khong biet chi phi phai tra cho ban to chuc bao nhieu de dinh gia san pham.
English text(translation)
The director of a gift production enterprise in HCM makes known that his enterprise has more than 10 model products that will come under for an occasion of Seagames 22. However, the enterprise is in the situation "between the devil and the deep sea" he can't make a production plan just because he doesn't know how much money he has to pay for organization board to fix the price on the products.
My comments:
"Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh" should be translated " Ho Chi Minh city", "make known" doesn't have meaning "cho biet", it should be "state" or "announce". The word "sap toi"(SEA Games 22 sap toi) is not translated in the English text, I will translate it "the coming SEA Games 22th", and the phrase "tien thoai luong nan" shouldn't be "between the devil and the deep sea", there's another word "dilema" to illustrate this meaning. From "khong the tien hanh...chi phi phai tra", the translator use "he" for the noun, but it must be "the enterprise" because this paragraph is talking about the enterprise, not only the director, it's a group of people, not only one person. The word "arganization board" should be capitalised because it's the name of an organization. "dinh gia san pham" can't be "fix the price on the products", "fix" is just used for putting something into the other one, I will translate this word by "set the price".


WEEK 3:

Viet Nam's Natural Beauty, text 73

What I agree:
The first sentence is a complex sentence but translator can use the relative pronoun to break it into 2 parts, it'll make readers easy to understand. The word "gom" is translated as "contains" is better than "has". The phrase "neu di bang o to" is replaced by the noun "the drive" makes the sentence more simple. And "passes through" can illustrate the action of going inside the hills and mountains. With the word "sung so", I'll translate as "amazing", but the writer uses "breathtaking", it sounds like "the tourists feel breathless when first seeing the scenery". So, I think "breathtaking" is better and more suitable.
What I don't agree:
The word "of" in the first sentence should be "from" to talk about the distance between two places. The second sentence, I'll translate as "Arriving by helicopter at Con Son Island, the largest in the archipelago, visitors will be greeted by rich tropical forests, long white beaches, and coral reefs" instead of putting "rich tropical forests, long white beaches, and coral reefs" at the begining because this way can make readers confused and have to read the whole sentence to understand. And the word "doi nui" should be "hills and mountains", not only "hills".

Vietnamese text:

Khong the phu nhan ve thanh tuu phat trien cua Viet Nam trong nam vua qua, dac biet la ve cac chi so phat trien kinh te nhung cac ban hay nhin sang nuoc lang gieng cua minh la Trung Quoc-ho dang phat trien rat nhanh chong. Do do, nam 2003 cua Viet Nam, viec day nhanh toc do phat trien kinh te hon nua thi rat kho rut ngan duoc khoang cach giua Viet Nam va cac nuoc trong khu vuc cung nhu tren the gioi.

English translation text:

It's impossible to deny the acheivement in development of Viet Nam last year, especially the indices of economic development. However, please have a look at our neighbour country China. It is under rapid development. As a result, if Viet Nam doesn't speed up the economic growth in 2003, it's very hard to shorten the gap between Viet Nam and other countries in the region as well as in the world.

My ideas:
It's a good translation text because it can reflect the main idea of the original text, the structers of the sentences is also good. However, I think there're some thing should change to be better The word "deny" should be changed into "refuse" to soften the sentence because "phu nhan" don't have a totally negative meaning. "neighbour" is a noun, but in the second sentence, it must be an adj, so it should be "neighbouring". The last sentence is an "IF" form, so "it's very hard" should be changed into "It will be hard" to keep the grammar.

WEEK 5:

Paragraph 19

I find that this paragraph is not easy to translate, but the translator was very skillful. He used the approriate word choices and sentences structures. However, I think that in translation text, there are some thing that I want to change to make the text better:
-The word "noi" (first sentence) should be translated as "consider...as" because this sentence is to talk about the thought, opinion of Vietnamese, this's not a simple event
-The word "stone" can be understood as "ngoc". For me, I'll use "pearl"
-"That" (first sentence) is not needed, because there's no relationshipwith the previous sentence, "that" should be replaced by "the" since Bach Long Vi is a specific place.
-"Chiec duoi cua con rong" should be translated as "dragon's tail", should not be "created by the dragon's whisking tail"
-"Doi Ngoc Son" is "Ngoc Son hill", not "Ngoc Son Mountain", because the difference in the size between "hill" and "mountain", "hill" is smaller and lower than "mountain", we should use the approriate one :"hill"
-The phrase "duoc xat dung tu the ki 11" is something belongs to the past, the translator should use the simle past in translation, so the phrase "date from the eleventh century" is not approriate because it's simple present tense. According to me, I'll translate as "which was built in eleventh century"
-In the third sentence, the translator missed translating the word "Ngay nay". I think we should add "Nowadays" at the begining of this sentence.

Vietnamese text:
Moi ngay it nhat mot lan, con meo den gia nua cua chung toi lai mon men den gan voi bo dang nhu dang can mot nhu cau dac biet nao do. No khong co ve doi an hay muon duoc tha ra ngoaima duong nhu no can mot dieu gi do khac han. Neu ban cho no nam len dui, no se nhay phoc len. Moi lan nhu vay, no bat dau rung minh khi ban gai lung, xoa cam cho no va lien tuc vo ve rang no la mopt con meo con de thuong vo cung.

English text:
At least onece a day our old black cat comes to one of us in a way thatwe've all come to see as a special request. It does not mean he wants to be fed, or to be let out. His need is for something very different. If you have a lap handy, he'll jump into it. Once in it, he begins to vibrate almost before you stroke his back, scrath his chin, and tell him over and over what a good kitty he is.

My suggestions:
This is a very good translation text. This paragraph has a lot of difficult words for translating. However, the translator works very well. Besides, I have some little comments to make it better. Instead of using the phrase "comes to " (mon men den gan), I think the phrase "approaches gradually" is better because "comes to" can't illustrate the slow of the movement. And I'll change the phrase "in a way that we've come to see as a special request" into "as if it needs a special demand". The word "before" (last sentence) should be change into "when" because the Vietnamese text does not mention something happens before something, all the actions happen together.


WEEK 6:

Assignment 1, paragraph 28, page 28

This is a well-translated paragraph, the translator uses correct word and structure of the sentences in a suitable way. I really like it. I have some comments on this paragraph
What I agree:
_ The word "bao boc" is translated as "is bodered" is very suitable because it can reflect the shape of georaphy-something is between 2 things. Some people can translate "bao boc" as "is covered" (not approriate because "cover" means something is inside something else)
_ The translator change "trong rong bien va thu hoach de xuat khau" into "cultivate and harvest seaweed for export". It's an excellent change. If we translate it in the normal way: "cultivate seaweed and harvest for export", it sounds not very professional and smooth.
What I don't agree:
_ "CHien tranh chong My" should not be "American War" because the readers can missunderstand that this is the war in the US, not the war that against the US Army. So, I think we should change it into "War against the US Army".
_ The word "trai dai" should be translated as "stretchs", not "runs".
_ "nhung khach san 5 sao" is not a specific phrase, it does not mention to any specific place. So, we should not use the word "the" (the several five-star hotels). It should be "several five-star hotels".
_ I think that the word "nha nghi" is "rent house", not "housing"-like the translator used.


Assignment2:

Vietnamese text"
Co tro ve ben cha. Khi buoc vao phong, co thay ong nam do, trong that be nho va om yeu. Ong gang guong tro chuyen cung co nhung khong the. Dieu duy nhat ma co co the lam la ngoi ben canh ong, vong tay om lay doi vai bat dong cua cha minh. Tua dau len nguc cha, co suy ngam nhieu dieu. Co nho lai rang minh luon cam thay duoc cha che cho, nang niu tu tam be. Co thay long quang that truoc noi dau sap mat di nguoi cha yeu quy. Khong con nua roi nhung loi yeu thuong vo ve cua cha.
Translation text:
And so she went to the site of the great man. When she walked into the room and saw him, he looked small and not strong at all. He looked at her and tried to speak, but he could not. The little girl did the only thing she could do. She sat next to the great man, and drew her arms around the useless shoulders of her father. Her head on his chest, she thought of many things. She remembered she had always felt protected and cherished by the great man. She felt grief for the loss she was to endure, the words of love that had comforted her.

I like this translation text very much because the translator is very professional, he/she use the words that relevant for this context (a text illustrating the love of the daughter for her dying father) such as "great man" (cha), "not strong enough" (om yeu). Especially the phrase "felt grief of loss", it helps the readers feel her hurt of losing father. And there's just one word that I think the translator should change, that is "useless" (bat dong) because I think "useless" has very negative meaning-something has no use. Therefore, I will use the word "unmovable" instead.

tien said...

7044742 Dang Thi Kieu Tien tien8721@yahoo.com

Week 2
Book: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty page 36
Vietnamese text
Việt Nam cũng nổi tiếng với những cảnh đẹp núi non đa dạng.Ở cả ba miền Bắc Trung Nam đều có thực vật và động vật phong phú và độc đáo, các con suối và thác nước.nhiều vùng núi của Việt Nam đã trở thành những nơi nghỉ mát nổi tiếng đối với du khách.

English text
Viet Nam also boasts a varied mountainous landscape. Each of its three geographical zones-north, center, and south-has abundant and unique flora and fauna, streams and waterfalls. Many of Viet Nam’s mountainous regions have become popular resorts for tourists.

Comments:
Generally, the English translation is good, easy to understand and follows the ideas of Vietnamese text. However, I wonder that the way of using some words whether express exactly the meaning of original words or not. For instance, “nổi tiếng” is translated into “ boasts” and I think this word brings another meaning not “ nổi tiếng”. And why does the author use “varied” not “various” and how is “varied” different from “various”?In my opinion, both two words have the same meaning in the text. One more thing, “a mountainous landscape” does not show plural noun of Vietnamese text- những cảnh đẹp núi non đa dạng. If so, I’m sure that the word “its” in the second sentence stands for “a varied mountainous landscape” and the readers understand the translation in another way, of course or it makes the readers ambiguous. In addition, there is no reason to add “geographical” here. In my opinion, whenever you list the name of regions of Vietnam, of course they belong to “geography”. However, I can not disagree that adding “geographical” is a creativity of the author. Finally, my idea on the last sentence is that it can be better to use “mountain regions” than “mountainous regions”, I think. Thus, my translation can be:

“Vietnam is also popular with various/varied mountainous landscapes. Each of Vietnam’s three regions- north, center, and south- has abundant and unique flora and fauna, streams and waterfalls. Many of Vietnam’s mountain regions have become popular resorts for tourists.”

Book: A cup of chicken soup for the soul page 12
Vietnamese text
Quẳng máy hút bụi vào nhà kho, tôi cố nén tiếng thở dài. Cả nữa ngày trời lo dọn dẹp nhà cửa mà tôi vẫn chưa chuẩn bị xong để đón tiếp những vị khách sắp đến chơi. Bốn đứa con nhỏ thi nhau chơi trò đuổi bắt, giày dép cùng với đồ chơi bừa bãi khắp nhà, những mẩu bánh vụn vung vãi trên tấm thảm mà chỉ mới đây chưa hề có vết bẩn nào.

English text
Shoving the vacuum into its home in the hall closet, I stifled a groan. A half-day of housework behind me and I still wasn’t ready for the out-of-state company expected any very soon minute. My four small children whirled through, leaving a wake of toys, crumbs and stray shoes scattered across the recently trackless carpet.

Comments:
It seems that the translator is so skillful and experienced that he/she creates the smooth and professional translation. I’m really attracted by the way of arranging the words together as well as word-choice. For example, instead of using the verb “throw the vacuum away”, the author chooses “shove” which expresses exactly the meaning of Vietnamese word. We can not use “throw the vacuum away” like the use of “throw paper away..”. Besides, “shove” encloses the feeling of “angry” of the character. So, “shove” is the best choice of word. Although the English text is so good, there are some unsuitable points that make me confuse and disagree. There are still some unexactly words. The word “groan” expresses the sound of suffering the pain but in the text, it is the sound of tiredness. Thus, it should be changed into “sigh” than “groan”. And if just looking at the English translation: “I still wasn’t ready for the out-of-state company expected any very soon minute”, the Vietnamese translation can not be finished. It is very difficult for readers to link between two texts. In addition, why don’t the author write “be absorbed in catching game” instead of “whirled through” because this phrase looks strange and does not follow the Vietnamese text. In addition, I wonder what does “its home in the hall closet” mean? By the way, the English translation made a deep impression on me. I really learnt much from the translation. Finally, let me have another translation like:

“Shoving the vacuum into the warehouse, I stifled a sigh. Spending a half-day of housework but I still wasn’t ready to welcome company coming in some minutes. My four small children were absorbed in catching together, leaving a wake of toys, crumbs and stray shoes scattered across the recently trackless carpet”

Tien 7044742 tien8721@yahoo.com
Week 6
Book: Vietnam’s natural beauty.
Vietnamese text:
Những vết tích lịch sử cũng cho thấy các vua Trần đã sử dụng Đồ Sơn làm căn cứ quân sự. Năm 1288, Việt Nam đánh bại quân xâm lược Nguyên – Mông, làm đắm hàng trăm chiếc thuyền buồm của chúng trong một trận kịch chiến tại cửa sông Đại Bàng gần tháp Nhĩ Sơn.

English text:
Historical traces also show that the Tran Kings used Do Son as a marine base. In 1288, the Vietnamese defeated Yuan-Mongolian invaders, sinking hundreds of their junks during a fierce battle in the mouth of Dai Bang River near Nhi Son Tower.

Comments:
I would like to give my comments on the word - choices and grammar points. In my opinion, the word “marine base” belongs to another meaning. So, I strongly recommend that it must be “military base” so that the English text can conserve the gist of the source language. The second point is that these words “junks” and “mouth” can not make clear the Vietnamese words. The target text would be, therefore, better if I suggested changing them into “sailing-boats” and “estuary”. In addition, the second sentence shows the problem of using unparallel verbs. It is clear to see that “defeated” in simple past but “sinking” in present participle. Thus, the solution is to put “sinking” back to simple past “sank”. Beside a few weak points, the text possesses a strong one is that it keeps the main ideas of the source text which contributes to present a nice translation.
Finally, let me introduce the improved translation:
“Historical traces also show that the Tran Kings used Do Son as a military base. In 1288, the Vietnamese defeated Yuan-Mongolian invaders, sank hundreds of their sailing-boats during a fierce battle in / at the estuary of Dai Bang River near Nhi Son Tower.

Book: Vietnamese-English translation 1
Vietnamese text:
Do tính chất mới mẻ của công việc, tại Việt Nam chưa có trường lớp hay chương trình chính qui nào đào tạo các GTNS. Phần lớn các GTNS tại thành phố là các người học ở nước ngoài, do các công ty GTNS đào tạo hoặc học qua kinh nghiệm.

English text:
Due to unusual character of the job, there hasn’t been any school of full times’s curriculum to train PR’s specialists in Viet Nam. The majority of them in this city are usually come from foreign studying person, trained by PR’s companies and some among them are from self – studying by experiences.

Comments:
I am pity to say that I have different ideas on the translation. Firstly, the word “unusual” can not be approved soon because of its inexact meaning. Secondly, in my opinion, I consider that the phrase “…any school of full times’s curriculum” contains unclear meaning. Moreover, it is not necessary to say “PR’s specialists”. Also, I wonder that why does not the author use “in the city” instead of “in this city” because the text implies city in general and does not mention to the concrete city. Thirdly, I think the big problem of the text is to use passive voice “are…come” to express the idea. And is it better if the author uses “people” instead of “person” in plural noun. By the way, I support the word “people”. And once passive voice is unsuitable in this sentence, the author can not reduce “are trained” into “trained” as in the text. Therefore, there should be “who are trained” so that the sentence will include clear and exact meaning. Next, to avoid having further translation, I suggest crossing out “and some among them are from self-studying” and replace with “or study”. I think this is the best way to prevent the translation from confusion. Finally, it is impossible to add “s” after the uncounted noun “experience”.
So, to me, the translation will be:
“Due to fresh character of the job, there has not been any schools or regular programs to train PR in Viet Nam. The majority of them in the city usually come from foreign studying people who are trained by PR’s companies or study by experience”.

Tien 7044742
Tien8721@yahoo.com

myxuyen said...

Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam WEEK 3
Vietnam’s natural beauty
Paragraph 61; page 53

My comment

With the English translation, I think the translator is so good in using correct words.I never think I could do like that because these are not easy to translate as knowledge I have. For example, “những con chim Pitta lông kẻ bụng phệ và những chú chim mỏ ngắn đuôi dài” are strange words that I never see. Thank to the hand out, I can know more about “bellied Pitta birds and trogons”. However, I do not also agree with some details. In my opinion, these are far away from the Vietnamese text. We can see “the park gates” appear in English text but nothing or no information in Vietnamese text. In addition, I wonder whether it is good or not when the translator use Highway 1 replace for “đường số 1”because in Vietnamese text does not mention about Highway. Maybe it also the good point of translator to discover the new thing that the text hiding. Besides, In my opinion, the translator use a lot of relevant words that do not need to be translated in the text. Even, it also has the wrong using in grammar of sentence. Although it has the meaning that “được bảo vệ bởi người dân địa phương” but I think it is not accepted by local people”. If I have right to translate again, I think it will be “being protected by local people”.
In general, this gives me some notes that it is to be careful with the translation from text to text. And maybe the question will always appear in my mind: “Is it necessary to translate exactly as the meaning of one text to another text

VIETNAMESE TEXT
Chăn trâu
Ai bảo chăn trâu là khổ? Không, chăn trâu sướng lắm chứ! Đầu tôi đội n ón lá như lọng che. Tay cầm nhành tre như roi ngựa. ngất nghểu ngồi trên mình trâu, tai nghe chim hót trong chòm cây, mắt trông bươm bướm lượn trên đám cỏ; trong khoảng trời xanh lá biếc, tôi với con trâu thảnh thơi vui thú, tưởng không còn gì sung sướng cho bằng
ENGLISH TEXT
Buffalo hearding
Who says buffalo hearding is suffering? No. buffalo hearding is very enjoyable! My head is covered with a conical hat like a parasol. My hand holds a branch of bamboo like a horse whip. I sit height up on the buffalo’s back, my ears listening to the bird’s song from the cluster of trees, my eyes watching butterflies hovering on the grass ; in the space of the blue sky and green leaves, the buffalo and me are at leisure to play around and no pleasure can be compare to it.
(120 bai luyen dich Viet Anh)

My comment
Comparing between 2 texts, I also see that English text is clearer, easier to understand and it is so smooth. Even some details become more colourful than the Vietnaese text. However, there are some mistakes that I think they are not easy to tolerate. For example, “chăn trâu” are translated by “ buffalo hearding”. If I do not check the dictionary, maybe I just believe that they are right. Actually, “hearding” does not mean “chan trau”. I will use “herbing” to replace it. In addition, the word choice in English text can not express all the meaning that the Vietnaemse one has. “ngất nghểu” expresses the state of sitting or standing, both show the position and the height. In contrary, it just is translated by “height up”. Through “height up” I just see the height, not know correctly whether it is position of sitting and standing or not. Finally, when go through all the sentence, I think that the translator influenced word- by word way of translation. However, sometimes I think this is also good because I can check the meaning easily even though I do know before. Just one point in this English text I like that is the translation contain the meaning more colourful than the meaning the Vietnaemse has. We can see “tôi với con trâu thảnh thơi vui thú tưởng không còn gì sung sướng cho bằng” are translated by “the buffalo and me are at leisure to play around and no pleasure can be compare to it” . There are the reverse of word order in two sentences: “con trau va toi” and “the buffalo and me”. In my opinion, the translator is so good because he/she wants to show the relationship between the man and the animal. Here, I think the person love the buffalo and consider it as his/ her friend. Both of them work together as close friend.
Through this translation, I discover that translation will be effective and qualitative if it not only good in word choices, grammatical structure but contain something that learners or readers can recognize and obserb.

LE THI MY XUYEN
7044746 - Class 01
Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com

Vo said...

COMMENTS FOR WEEK 6, WEEK 5, WEEK 2
VOCHANHTRUC 7044744 GROUP 1
VOCHANHTRUC@GMAIL.COM

The comment for Week 6 – 15 0ct 2007
Vo Chanh Truc – 7044744 – Group 1
Email: vochanhtruc@gmail.com
p. 139 – page 104-105


This translation is good. Of course, I have something to discuss it.
In the first sentence, we can see that the word “đẩy” is translated into “propel”. The translator was skilful when translating in this way because “propel” means to move, drive or push something forward or in a particular direction (Oxford Dictionary). This word is more appropriate than “push” in this context because the local people is making their tiny boats move forward. Also, they have a definite direction to move. Therefore, using “propel” is a better way than using “push”.

In the second sentence, the phrase “không khí rất trong lành” is translated into “the atmosphere is serene”. In my opinion, “trong lành” in this context means “fresh”(pleasantly clean, pure or cool) . Although “serene” (calm and peaceful) can go with the word “atmosphere”, I think it is not a good way to use it in this context to replace the word “fresh”.

Next, let us discuss the 3rd sentence. The first thing to discuss is the difference between the subjects in original version and translated version. In original version, the subject is boats which do the action “glide”. However, in the translated version, the ones who do the action “glide” are visitors. I think there’s this difference because things like boats cannot do an action. Just visitors – human – can do it or also the translator wanted to express what the visitors can enjoy when visiting Tam Coc. Next, there’s also difference between “egrets and storks”. As far as I know, “cò” is translated into “stork”. However, in this sentence, the translator translated “cò” into “egrets” which is “Diệc” in Vietnamese, a bird of the HERON family, with long legs and long white tail feathers. Maybe there are a lot of egrets in Tam Coc instead of “stork”.

In conclusion, the translated version needs to improve something I think.


Buoc dau hoc dich Viet Anh
Nguyen Huu Du
Page 334
Sức khỏe

Sức khỏe rất quí. Đau yếu làm cho chung ta khốn khổ và là một gánh nặng cho xã hội. Chúng ta phải làm gì để giữ gìn sức khỏe? Trước tiên chúng ta phải giữ điều độ trong việc ăn uống. Ăn uống nhiều quá cũng như ăn uống thiếu thốn đều có hại cho sức khỏe. Thứ đến chúng ta phải năng vận động than thể và ngủ đầy đủ. Mất ngủ và thiếu vận động làm cho sức khoẻ con người suy yếu. Sau cùng chúng ta phải giữ gìn than thể sạch sẽ, phòng ở thoáng khí và sống ngoài trời càng nhiều càng tốt.

Translation version

Health

Health is of great value. Illness makes us miserable and is a burden to society. What must we do to keep our health? First, we must be moderate in eating and drinking. Eating and drinking too much as well as insufficient food are harmful to the health. Second we must get plenty of physical exercise and enough sleep. Insomnia and lack of physical exercise may ruin a man’s health. Finally, we must keep our bodies clean, our rooms well-ventilated, and live as much as possible in the open air.

Comment

I think this translation is alright. However, there are something to be improved

In the second sentence, the translator wrote “Illness makes us miserable and is a burden to society”. This sentence made me confused because of its ambiguity. I don’t know whether illness is a burden to society or illness makes us to be a burden to society. In my opinion, the sentence would be translated in this way “Illness makes us miserable and be a burden to society.” That means when we got sickness, we would be a burden to society.

The next sentence (what must we do to keep our health?) is a question. According to the Vietnamese version (Chúng ta phải làm gì để giữ gìn sức khoẻ?), the translator translated it quite well. However, in this context, the author of this article is giving advice to readers. The translator should use the word “should” instead of “must” although “phải” means “must”. So the sentence can be translated in this way “What should we do to keep our health?” And all the word “must” in the translation should be replaced by the word “should”.

Next, I want to discuss this sentence: Eating and drinking too much as well as insufficient food are harmful to the health. I think eating and “drinking too much” and “insufficient food” are not equivalent. I think the sentence should be change in this way: “Eating and drinking too much as well as too little are harmful to the heath.” Translating in this way will make the readers read and understand the text more easily.

In the 6th sentence - Insomnia and lack of physical exercise may ruin a man’s health, the phrase “ruin a man’s health” seems strange to the readers because not many people use it. The translator translated exactly every word from the original version. I think he/she had better you the phrase “may ruin our health”. Although it doesn’t mean exactly what is in the original version, I think it is appropriate to be used in this context.

Although there are some weak points in this translation, the translator was wise to use the word “well-ventilated” instead of “airy” in the last sentence. According to Oxford dictionary, “ventilate” means to allow fresh air to enter and move around a room, building, etc while “airy” means with plenty of fresh air because there is a lot of space. Both of the two words can go with “room” or “office”. However, using “well-ventilated” is more appropriate in this context because a room with small space can be well-ventilated if we equip fans but it cannot be airy because there is not a lot of space. A large room is certain to be airy because there is a lot of space there.

In conclusion, the translator should consider his/her word choice to have good translations.
October 15, 2007 3:42 PM

The comment for week 5: 8 Oct 2007

7044744 Vo Chanh Truc – – vochanhtruc@gmail.com
Paragraph 56, page 48-49

Although, this is a good translation, it is more complicated than I think.

We will discuss about the first sentence. The first time I read the translation, I didn’t think it can be acceptable to write “hotels in town can book a tour…” Hotel is a thing, it cannot do the action “book”. However, I have changed my opinion. There are many people using “hotel” with the verb “book”. So, it may be correct. The translation mentions that ones who book a tour are hotels instead of tourists. However, in the original version, the writer wrote that “Tai cac khach san trong thi tran, du khach co the dat truoc chuyen di…” That means, tourists can book a tour of the national park at hotels in town. In addition, the writer used reduction technique when translating the word “dat truoc” into only one-syllable verb: “book”. The translator thought it was not necessary to translate the word “truoc” into “in advance” because the word “book” itself has the meaning “in advance”. One excellence of the translator is the use of the word “trek”. According to Oxford Dictionary, trek means a long, hard walk lasting several days or weeks, especially in the mountains. Although the translator could use words such as journey, trip, tour, or walk, etc, he chose “trek” to show how hard, how long, and how far the tourists will have to suffer when taking a tour of the National Park.

Let’s move to the second sentence. The phrase “chuyen di mat nhieu thoi gian nhung ngoan muc nhat …” was translated in to “the most demanding and spectacular day trek”. Demanding means needing a lot of skill, patience, effort, etc (Oxford Dictionary). By using the word “demanding”, the translator must have thought that “mat nhieu thoi gian” required tourists their patience, effort and skill when taking part in this trek. Moreover, the word “day” standing before trek helps readers to assume that the trip may have lasted up to 1 day. The translator must have put himself into the context carefully when putting “day” in front of “trek”. However, the translator should split this sentence into two new sentences so that readers will not be confused. Long sentences like those in the Vietnamese version will make readers hard to understand the translation.
Optional comment
Thu xin phép cho con nghỉ học vì ốm – Page 308
Buoc dau hoc dich Viet-Anh
Nguyen Huu Du

Thư cô,
Xin cô thứ lỗi cho cháu Tâm vì đã nghỉ học hôm thứ Nam và thứ Sáu ngày 2 và 3 tháng Sáu.

Cháu Tâm bị sổ mũi và ho nhiều nên tôi thấy để cháu đi học sẽ ảnh hưởng đến các cháu khác.

Như cô thấy, hiện nay cháu đã khỏi hoàn toàn. Nếu có bài vở gì cần học bù, cô vui long bảo cháu Tâm hoặc viết cho tôi đôi dòng.

Xin cảm ơn cô
Chào cô

Translated version

Please excuse Tam’s absence from school on Thursday and Friday, June 2nd and 3rd .

Tam had a runny nose and a bad cough, and I felt it would not have been fair to the other children if I had allowed him to attend school.

As you see, he has now entirely recovered.

If there is any work that you should be made up, will you be so kind as to tell Tam or send me a note about it.

Thank you.
Very truly yours,

The above translation is quite good. However, there are some ideas of the translator different from mine.

In the first sentence, it’s good for the translator to use the structure “excuse something” when translating the word “thứ lỗi” instead of using “forgive”. To excuse means to to forgive sb for sth that they have done, for example not being polite or making a small mistake (Oxford Dictionary) while to forgive means to stop feeling angry with sb who has done sth to harm, annoy or upset you; to stop feeling angry with yourself (Oxford dictionary. That means we excuse small mistake but maybe we forgive a more serious mistake. So, it is excellent of the translator to choose the word “excuse” However, the object which is excused is not be Tam’s absence but Tam. (Xin cô thứ lỗi cho cháu Tâm….) So, the structure “excuse something” can be changed to “excuse someone for something”. The sentence should be written: Please excuse Tam for being absent…Next, also in this paragraph, the writer used Thursday and Friday, June 2nd and 3rd to translate “thứ Năm và thứ Sáu, ngày 2 và 3 tháng Sáu”. I think in Vietnamese, it’s appropriate to say this way with this word order, however in English it should be changed to be acceptable. In my opinion, using “Thursday, June 2nd and Friday, June 3rd” is much better.

In the second sentence, the translator use “a runny nose and a bad cough” to translate “bị sổ mũi và ho nhiều”. However, I think the sentence “bị sổ mũi và ho nhiều” is an ambiguous phrase because we don’t know he had runny nose and a bad cough or both his runny nose and cough are bad. However, the translator is skillful when using the word “bad” to translate “nhiều”. Actually, “nhieu” mean “much” or “many” in English. The translator must have paid attention to the context carefully to use the word “bad” (serious). In addition, he was also talented at conveying ideas for Vietnamese to English without translating word by word. For example, “nên tôi thấy để cháu đi học sẽ ảnh hương đến các cháu khác” was translated into “and I felt it would not have been fair to the other children if I had allowed him to attend school”.

Also, in the forth sentence, he used the structure “will you be so kind as to..” instead of “please”. I think “will you be so kind as to” may be more polite and formal than please. Please is used as a polite way of asking for sth or telling sb to do sth. I think “will you be so kind as to” has a sense that the writer depends on or hopes for the receiver, the teacher agreement. The writer cannot decide to do anything.

In short, this is a quite good translation. The translator was skillful at using appropriate words and structures when doing his job.
October 8, 2007 4:28 PM

The comment for week 2 – 17 Sept 2007
Paragraph 22, page24-25

The translation of this paragraph is okay and there are a couple of things to be discussed.

In the first sentence, the translator used the word “selected” to translate the word “chọn” into English instead of using the word “chose”. This is a good choice because “selecting” is choosing something carefully while choosing is just deciding to choose one of others available. Nguyen Huu Cau must have thought carefully to choose a location for his troops to live. That’s why the translator choose the word “selected”. In this sentence, we can also see the word “navy camp” translated from “căn cứ hải quân”. However, I don’t think choosing the word “camp” is a good decision. Camp is a place where soldiers live while they are training or fighting. It is not the main place for soldiers to live. It is just a temporary place. In my opinion, the word “base” is the best choice because base is a place where an army, a navy or an air force operates from. So the navy base of Nguyen Huu Cau is where he operated his soldiers, it is not a temporary location.

In the second sentence, the phrase “ngày 9 tháng 8 âm lịch” is translated into “the ninth day of the eighth lunar month”. I think it is not necessary to use such a long phrase like that. For me, I just use “the ninth of August in Lunar Calendar”. Next, one thing to be discussed is the use of the phrase “in conjunction with”. I think this phrase is better than the word “and” as well as “with”. Finally, if I were the translator, I wouldn’t use the word “grew from” to translate the word “bắt nguồn từ”. I would use the word “had the origin of”. I think it’s better.
Vo Chanh Truc 7044744 Class 1
Optional task
Page 21
The magazine “Uncover”
Published by Luu Van Liet high school, Vinh Long town on 5th Sept, 2007

Thầy lại hay khen chúng con là: “Khá lắm con trai!”, “Khá lắm con gái!”. Cả năm học tụi con nghe hoài những câu ấy, nhưng chẳng đứa nào biết chán. Chả thế mà đến tiết của Thầy, cả lớp chúng con mấy chục cánh tay đưa lên chờ Thầy gọi phát biểu, tổ này giành tổ kia, bạn này giành bạn nọ trông thật trẻ con.

You often praised us by saying to us “Very good, son!”, “Very good, daughter!”. For a school year, we again and again heard these words from you, yet none of us felt bored. This is why in each period of yours, we all raised our hands, waiting for your call on. This group “competed” with another one – all made a childlike scene.

After reading the paragraph, I think the translation is quite good. Yet I have something to comment.
In the first sentence, instead of using “very good boy” or “very good daughter”, I think we should use “good boy!”, or “good girl!”. Although “con trai” and “con g ái” can be translated in to “son” or “daughter”, I think we shouldn’t use those words. The teacher is not the father of the students. I think using “boy”, or “girl” is better. “You often praised us by saying to us” should be changed into “you also praised us” It is shorter and can prevent the repetition of the word “us”. In the next sentence, the translator should use “during the school year” instead of “for a school year”. In the next sentence, “ch ả th ế m à đ ến ti ết c ủa th ầy” should be translated into “that’s why, everytime you taught us,” …..And the last one, “all made a childlike scene” may be replaced by childly because “childly” supports the meaning of the word “competed”, not the scene in the class.
Vo ChanH Truc 7044744
September 17, 2007 5:21 PM

minh said...

Vo Thi Minh Due
7044729
Class A1
minhdue@gmail.com

Week 4
From 109 bai dich Viet- Anh

Vietnamese paragraph

Đêm hôm ấy là một đêm trăng ở trên sông Hương. Theo thói quen của các
nhà văn sĩ kinh đô,tôi và mấy bạn hữu có thuê một chiếc đò, kiểu đo co mái che một nửa, thường những đêm hè sáng sủa hay chở những khách thơ chơi phiếm trên Hương giang.

English paragraph

That night was a moonlighting on the perfume river. According to the
metropolitan writers'habit, a few of my friends and I rented a small
ferry-boat, a kind of half roofed one, which is often used to carry
poetically minded persons dawdling their away on the perfume river.

My comment

Through the original paragraph, we can imagine the beauty and romance
of Huong river. However, I do not think the English version is a good
one. In my opinion, the translation should have some changes to make it better. For example, in the first sentence,the translator used the word "perfume river" to tranfer the name "song Huong". It is really
unsuitable because "Huong " is a proper noun. So we should keep it in
the translation. In my case, I will retranslate "song Huong" into
"Huong river".In addition,the phrase "according to the
metropolitan writers'habit" is not good.We should change it into"To be in habit of the metropolitan writers".One more thing,using "my friends" to transfer "ban
huu" is not enough.I think we should use "my close friends” to make its meaning clear".
On the other hand, the translation also has its good
points which I like. For example, the phrase "kieu co mai che mot
nua",I don not know how to translate this one into English. However,the translator used an excellent phrase to transfer it: " a kind of half roofed one.

Paragraph 14 HA LONG BAY

Thanks to the way of using nice words, this paragraph is so
interesting and attractive. Through the reading, the appearance of Ha Long, at sun set, is so beautiful that I want to visit there immediately. In addition, the words in English version as well as Vietnamese one are succinct and concise. The first sentence is so long. If I translated this one, I would be embarrassing. It is very difficult for me to transfer such a long sentence.Furthermore, I can also know some useful vocabulary,
such as: "crimson", Stretch out" and "for an instant".
The one I like best in the second sentence is the verb phrase "
climbs into the sky". The writer used the personification to consider the moon to the human. And, it helps the phrase more pictographic and likely. In short, I like this translation very much. It helps me know more about Vietnam's natural beauty as well as some useful words.

Week 6

Paragraph 17
In my opinion, this translation is good. However, it also has some
word choice problems. Some words in English version are not meaningful enough to express the content of Vietnamese one.
In the first sentence, I do not think noun phrase "Another story says" is good. In fact, the word "story" is not suitable in this case and ,actually,the story can not “say”. In my case, I would translate this sentence into" According to another legend, the western side of Cua Luc once had o wharf for seafaring vessels."
In the second sentence, The verb "to burn" should be replaced by"to smoke" to keep the meaning of Vietnamese statement.In the third sentence, I would like to use "Hon Gai's citizens" than
"people in Hon Gai". In addition, noun phrase "These fires" has
different meaning with the Vietnamese one"Nhung dam chay do". It would be better if we used the phrase "those fires".
Beside, I also like some useful words in the translation. For example:seafaring vessels, casuarina,and acorbarbacles.


Assessment
(From 120 bai luyen dich Viet-Anh)

Vietnamese paragraph

Mùa giá lạnh đã hết. Ngày thấy dài hơn. Buổi sáng đã có mặt trời,
những tia nắng dịu hiền tỏa xuống ấm áp. Cây cối nẩy mầm xanh non.
Chim chóc đua nhau hót trên cành. Một vài con đã tha rác về làm tổ.
Những con bướm váng đã bay lượn từ vườn nay sang vườn khác.

English version
The cold season has come to an end. The days become longer. The sun shines in the early morning emitting its mild and warm rays. Trees and plants are starting to shoot. Birds are singing in contest on the branches. Some of them take bits of straw back to build their nests.Golden butterflies are hovering from garden to garden.

My comments
The two paragraphs are so smooth and soft that the hearts of readers
seem to be warmer and happier. Thanks to using nice and lively words,the natural sense is picturesque. In the translation, I especially like the first sentence: "The cold season has come to end". Its structure is strange and exciting. Through the sentence, we can imagine that the cold season has just ended.
In addition, the writer is talented when using these following
phrases:" singing in contest", "bits of straw", and golden butterflies". He/ she did not use "bits of rubbish",because rubbish has negative meaning(dirty).And the nests are usually made of straw.Furthermore,he/she also did not use phrase "yellow
butterflies", because, in the sun, yellow color is not as beautiful
and glittery as " golden color".
However,the word "shoot" in the third sentence is not meaningful
enough to convey the meaning of "nẩy mầm".In my opinion, we should the word "germinate" to help the translation better.

thu said...

week 2

Le Viet Thu 7044741
EE01 C30
jennythu@gmail.com
MỘT CÁI THƯ

Tôi viết thư cho anh tôi ở Hải Dương. Tôi lấy một tờ giấy trắng. Trên dòng đầu, tôi đề ngày tháng, dưới tôi kể những tin tức ở nhà cho anh tôi biết. Sau tôi chúc anh tôi mọi sự bình yên, rồi tôi gấp lại bỏ vào phòng bì trên dán cái tem sáu xu. Xong tôi sai người nhà đem thư ra bỏ vào thùng nhà dây thép ở cạnh nhà ga. Thế là cái thư của tôi chỉ độ chiều mai là xuống tới Hải Dương, có người đem lại tận nhà cho anh tôi.
( nguồn; 109 bài luyện dịch Việt – Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hầu biên soạn)

BÀI DỊCH ĐỀ NGHỊ

A LETTER

I write a letter to my brother who lives in Hai Duong. I take a sheet of white paper. On the first line, I write the date, and then I inform him of the news concerning our family. In the end, I wish him every thing good. After that, I fold it, put it into an envelope, on which I stick a six-sou stamp. Then, I have my servant bring the letter to put it into the letter-box of the post office which is near to the station. So my letter will arrive in Hai Duong about tomorrow afternoon and it will be taken to my brother’s house.

Comment:
The translation above is taken from the book. In my opinion, this version is good and smooth. The translator changes some structures which are ambiguous so that the readers are not confused. For example, sentence ‘ tôi viết thư cho anh tôi ở Hải Dương’ can be ambiguous because I wonder if ‘ở Hai Duong’ modifies to ‘anh tôi’ or ‘tôi’. However, basing on the context that the text is appeared, we can know that ‘ở Hai Duong’ is a modifier for ‘anh tôi’ because if it does not modify ‘anh tôi’, ‘Tôi’ can not tell about the news in the next sentences. As a result, the relative clause is used to make clear to ‘anh tôi’. That is the point I should pay attention and should learn. So the Vietnamese sentence above should be translated as ‘I write a letter to my brother who lives in Hai Duong.’ as the author write.
Next point in the text that I like is also concerning about changing the structure. I will take an English version ‘I inform him of the news concerning our family’. The author has a good reasonable change, although in Vietnamese version just talk ‘tôi kể những tin tức ở nhà cho anh tôi biết’. He carefully analyses. As the same way of explanation, just ‘tin tức ở nhà’ is mentioned, he change it into ‘the news concerning our family’ instead of using ‘the news of the family’ in my own translation. His phrase is better and conveys the fuller meaning.
Another point that he impresses me is the way of using word. When I read the Vietnamese version and I see a word ‘nhà dây thép’, I don’t know what it is. I, then, look up the Vietnamese dictionary and I read the translated version, I realize that it is a post office. He uses it reasonably with exact meaning.
Although the English translated version is good and smooth, it should be improved some points. Firstly, in the sentence ‘Tôi lấy một tờ giấy trắng’ in general and phrase ‘một tờ giấy trắng’ in particular, the author translates it into ‘a sheet of white paper’. In my opinion, it should be written as ‘a sheet of paper’ is enough when writing a letter and then taking a sheet of papers, we can infer that this paper is white and has nothing inside. So, it should be written as ‘a sheet of paper’ is enough. Secondly, in the phrase ‘phòng bì trên dán cái tem sáu xu’, the writer writes ‘an envelope, on which I stick a six-sou stamp’. This means that he wants to emphasize the action of the subject ‘I’ or ‘tôi’. In my view, the six-sou stamp has already been on the envelope, so I just want to emphasize that the stamp is already pasted. And using the verb ‘paste’, instead of ‘stick’ is more reasonable, because the meaning of these two words nearly the same but quite different. Both mean put something closely to a surface or something; however, ‘stick’ means putting something by thrusting or by adhesive, vice versa ‘paste’ means fastening or coating with a paste. So I choose ‘paste’ because its meaning is nearly the same ‘dán’. The next point that should be pay attention is using a word ‘servant’ replacing to ‘người nhà’. I suppose that we should use a word ‘charwoman’ or ‘one member of my family’ or something else, because the word ‘servant’ is quite heavy. A servant is a person who employed to do domestic duties especially in a rich family. And using ‘servant’ shows that there is no respect to the person who does this job. And we don’t know exactly the meaning of ‘người nhà’ in the Vietnamese version, so it is really careful in choosing word. Or some neutral words should be used. The last one that I want to discuss is in the last sentence especially in the last phrase or clause ‘…Hải Dương, có người đem lại tận nhà cho anh tôi.’. As translating, I write ‘…Hai Duong where there is a postman will deliver it to my brother’s own hands.’ I think it better because I want to emphasize ‘giao tận tay’.

Paragraph 6 page 12-13

In general, this paragraph is smooth an good. I like the way the author use words in this version. They are quite exact. In the first sentence in the translation, the author changes the structure reasonably. He used passive voice to emphasize the Tra Co Communal House is build to honor their contribution of the village. In my opinion, I will write as ‘The Tra Co Communal House is used to honor the six gods who have great contribution to the village’s establishment. Next sentence, I think that I translate that ‘The Communal House, built in 1550 has two wings with seven rooms for each one. In this sentence I change the structure rather than the original one. However, I was surprised that the word ‘chai’ was translated by ‘wing’. I checked up the dictionary a lot and I recognize that it is true and close to the Vietnamese word ‘chai’. This shows that the author is so careful in choosing a using the words. Moreover, I also encounter some where in the translated text that reflect his skill in using vocabulary. Foe example, in the text, he uses ‘pillar’ replace to ‘cot’. In fact, in dictionary, I take up nearly four words: column, pillar, mast and pole that present one meaning. However, there is just one word ‘pillar’ is right in this context; the others are used in other context, not this one. In the sentence ‘Forty eight wooden pillars ….......... carvings.’ the sentence is quite complex because he uses reduced relative clause to modify the subject ‘…wooden pillars’ and he just uses one verb ‘to support’ as the main verb. In comparison to the Vietnamese structure, he misses not to translate ‘…tao thanh bo hung do mai nha…’ be cause maybe it is quite difficult to translate it into English, the way he write is quite easy to understand. However, in this sentence, he uses one word that should be replaced. That is ‘intricate’. This word means complicated and confused. I do not think that the carvings are so complicated to cause the confusion to the viewers. I think it should be ‘sophisticated’. And the last sentence, I think it’s alright; however, there is a word that should be changed. Tortoise should be used rather than ‘turtle’. Because the meaning of two words is quite the same; however, tortoise indicates the animal live in land and turtle is usually live under the sea which has flippers. So in my view, tortoise is better and it is close to the original context.

2/Week 4
LE VIET THU 7044741
EE01K30
Email: jennythu@gmail.com
a/ Optional paragraph:
Shannon Curfman duoc giup do de sang tac hon mot nua cac bai trong album cua co ay. Cac phong vien da cho rang co con qua tre de co the viet nhac blues. Co giai thich rang viet bai hat la ke mot cau chuyen. Co chung to duoc rang tuoi tac khong phai la van de ma am nhac moi la dieu quan trong. Bay gio chung toi moi ban lang nghe mot bai hat khac cua Shannon Curfman trong anlbum moi nhat cua co, ‘No Riders’
Suggested translation version of the author:
Shannon Curfman helped write more than half the songs on her album. Reporters ask her often how someone so young can write the blues so well. Shannon says that song-writing is story-telling. She says she hopes to show that it is not the age but the music that is important. We leave you now with Shannon Curfman reforming another song on her latest album, ‘No Riders’.
(Both taken from the book “Tuyen chon cac bai dich Viet-Anh theo chu diem” of Nguyen Thanh Tam. Shannon Curfman)

Comments:
This translation version is quite good. It is smooth enough for the readers to read. However, this should be improved more for its word choice and its structures. Let look on each sentence of this paragraph and examine it.
For the first sentence, Shannon Curfman is receiving the help of her friends or someone else basing on the Vietnamese version. With the sentence ‘Shannon Curfman helped write…’ the readers will understand that she gives her help for someone, yet in fact she receives the help. So Passive Voice should be used to emphasize the aid of her colleagues. Besides to music, ‘to write’ a song, a verb ‘to compose’ should usually use rather than the verb ‘to write’. Therefore, I will write ‘Shannon Curfman receives the aid in composing more than half the songs on her album’
In the next sentence: ‘Reporters ask her often how someone so young can write the blues so well.’ With this one, the readers will understand that ‘someone’ does not indicate Shannon, but anyone else. So it is not related to the meaning of the origin. With the structure, we will see that the reporters consider Shannon as a reader or a person who gives the idea of whether young person can write blues, but Shannon herself can compose blues. So, using ‘ask her often how someone…’ here is not appropriate to the Vietnamese version. The problem comes from the structure and the word choice that the writer uses. They make the readers understand differently. One thing I want to discuss is that in Vietnamese version, it does not mention that how well Shannon composes her songs. Therefore, it is no need to add ‘so well’. Thus, with my suggestion, it should be translated: ‘Reporters claim that Shannon is too young to be able to compose blues’. This sentence seems simple and clears to the readers rather the former one.
The sentence ‘Shannon says that song-writing is story-telling’ compared with Vietnamese version ‘Co giai thich rang viet bai hat la ke mot cau chuyen.’ One thing I want to share is using the verb ‘giai thich’. Because Shannon is interviewee, when she answers, she will give her own explanation to the reporters’ question. So, I think the verb ‘to explain’ is more appropriate and better although ‘to say’ is right. In my opinion, I will translate: ‘She explains that composing songs seems to be the same to story-telling.’ I change ‘song-writing’ into ‘composing songs’ because as I explained before, composing is more suitable than writing.
With next sentence: ‘Co chung to duoc rang tuoi tac khong phai la van de ma am nhac moi la dieu quan trong.’ which is translated into English as: ‘She says she hopes to show that it is not the age but the music that is important.’ it should be improve somewhere. First, I want to mention to the word choice here. If the writer uses ‘she says she hope to show that………’, the emphasis level on the sentence is quite weak. In my opinion, the verb ‘to prove’ should be used because it will show her emphasis on her next saying. In addition, I think that using another structure unlike used one is necessary in ‘it is not the age but the music that is important.’ I will write that: ‘the age is not important, but the music is more’ Thus for the whole sentence, it should be: ‘She proves that the age is not important, but the music is more’
For the last one: ‘Bay gio chung toi moi ban lang nghe mot bai hat khac cua Shannon Curfman trong anlbum moi nhat cua co, ‘No Riders’. The former translated version is: ‘We leave you now with Shannon Curfman reforming another song on her latest album, ‘No Riders’ First I want to discuss about the word choice. The writer uses the verb ‘to reform’ that is not appropriate to the meaning of the original version. ‘To reform’ here means to make something become better by the removal of faults or errors. So in this context, this verb can not be used. Moreover, this sentence seems to invite the listeners to hear one of the works of Shannon. So, I think that when translating, using suitable structure for example using ‘Let’s…’ or ‘let us…’ is better. In my opinion, this sentence should be ‘Let us now show you another song of Shannon Curfman in her latest album, ‘No Riders’.



Compulsory paragraph: Paragraph 126 page 96-97
The sentence ‘This area twelve kilometers north of Da Lat includes Lang Bian Mountain, which has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162 meters’ is so smooth. I like the way the author use the reduced relative clause because the sentence might be shorter but still contain the main meaning of the original version. With the phrase ‘…has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162 meters’, he uses ‘altitude’ to indicate the height of something usually above sea level. Maybe we can see that only using ‘altitude’ replacing for ‘the height above sea level’ may not be enough in term of meaning. In my opinion, adding a phrase ‘above sea level’ will make the sentence more completely. One more thing I want to share is that I will change the structure in ‘…has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162meters’ a little. This may be quite complex for reader. The first time I read this phrase, I could not understand because it is quite difficult and complicated to read. So, it should be written in a simpler way. In my idea, I think that ‘…has the highest altitude at 2,162 meters above sea level in this area’. That way is less complex than the English version. Thus, the whole new sentence may be ‘This area twelve kilometers north of Da Lat includes Lang Bian Mountain, which has the highest altitude of the area at 2,162 meters above sea level’.
For the next sentence ‘It is popular with both local residents an tourists interested in adventure sports and in studying are flora and fauna’, I think the translator uses ‘resident’ is not appropriate. Because if ‘resident’ is a noun, it just indicate the permanent inhabitant or the guest in a hotel or something else. So it should be used another word. Simply, ‘people’ or ‘citizens’ can replace for ‘resident’. Another point is using word ‘studying’ which means ‘nghien cuu’ in original text. I think the better word is ‘to research’. Although both words convey the same meaning, they are used in different contexts. The verb ‘to study’ means ‘to get knowledge from the books or materials maybe for a long time or to achieve the knowledge’. However, the verb ‘to research’ means ‘to study from the books or materials in order to establish the facts or withdraw conclusions’. Therefore, in this context, the meaning of ‘to research’ is the closest. Besides, with the structure, I will use another way. In my opinion, I will translate ‘both local citizens and tourists consider Lam Vien Plateau as their favorite place where they are able to play adventurous sports and to research on rare flora and fauna.’ This sentence seems clearer and closer to the original text.
For the last sentence: ‘Residents belong to the Lat, chil, and Ma ethnic minority groups’, firstly I will change ‘Residents’ into ‘Citizents’ with my explanation before and
They are no things to discuss more in this final one. Thus, the new sentence should be ‘Citizens here belong to the Lat, Chil, and Ma ethnic minority groups.’ In this sentence, I add an adverb ‘here’ to make clear and emphasize the place Lat, Chil and Ma people live is in Lam Vien Plateau in particular and Lang Bian Mountain in general, not somewhere else

Au Cai Jin said...

7044783 Au Tai Tien aucaijin@gmail.com
------------------------------
Dear Sir,
Since I received your feedback for the week 4 and 5, I'd like to post my comments for the week 2, 3, and 6 again.


1. Week 02

Comment 01:
Book: Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Paragraph 106, page 85

After reading paragraph 106, I wonder why the author did translate "Thung lũng Tình Yêu" as "The Valley of Love", instead of "Love Valley". Is it better if we translate that noun phrase as "Love Valley" in English, or we just let that proper name in original name? Since I see that many websites and books using "Love Valley", I may prefer to translate "Thung lũng Tình Yêu" as "Love Valley" too.

Also, the translater makes me surprised because of his choice of the word "backdrop". At the first reading, I just think that he would translate "nền" as "background" like the orthers used to do, but he translates it as "backdrop", which often means "phông màn" in Vietnamese. Of course this is a good translation because "backdrop" in this case is better than "background", making us possible to imagine a very beautiful sight of "Thung lũng Tình Yêu". It is necessary for me I to learn this way from him.

Finally, in my opinion, there are two words which mean "hùng vĩ", imposing and impressive. In other paragraphs the translater often uses the word "impressive". Why does he uses "imposing" in this case? Is it better if we use the word "impressive"?

In general, I think that paragraph 106 is a quite good translation. Some questions I have just asked are what I will try my best to answer by reading some books about translation, thanks to the author of "Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam".

------------------------------
Comment 02:

Vietnamese Paragraph: (from Thanhnien-Luyện dịch Báo chí Việt-Anh)
Hòa bình và phát triển là chủ đề của thời đại. Nhân dân ở tất cả các quốc gia trên thế giới nên nắm tay nhau hợp tác trong quá trình xúc tiến sự nghiệp cao cả vì hòa bình và sự phát triển của nhân loại.

English Version:
Peace and development are the themes of times. People across the world should join hands in advancing the lofty cause of peace and development of mankind.

------------------------------
In my opinion, the noun phrase "Tất cả các quốc gia trên thế giới " can be translated as "every country in the world" or "all the nations in the world", and the noun phrase "nhân dân ở tất cả các quốc gia trên thế giới" can be translated as "the people of all the nations in the world". So at the first time, I think that the author will translate the sentence "Nhân dân ở tất cả các quốc gia trên thế giới nên nắm tay nhau hợp tác trong quá trình xúc tiến sự nghiệp cao cả vì hòa bình và sự phát triển của nhân loại. " as "The people of all the nations in the world should join hands in advancing the lofty cause of peace and development of mankind."

However, the author makes me surprised because he chooses a very good way to translate. His translation, using "people across the world..." is as short as possible. He did show me that in some cases in translation choosing short form seems to be very good.

Another thing I have learnt from the translater is the way to translate the noun phrase "chủ đề của thời đại". Thanks to him, I know that we can use "times" as "thời đại", and the noun phrase "the themes of times" sounds quite good.

------------------------------

2. Week 03

Comment 01
Book: Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Paragraph 152, Page 114-115

Considering this paragraph, I find out some words which did show that the author has chosen them for translation carefully. For example, he translates "nơi lưu giữ nhiều truyền thuyết" as "home to many legends." Although I try rewriting it as "archives of many legends," I think his sentence is good. He also has a correct choice of word when he use "a thatch hut" for "túp lều" instead of "a tent" because in this story "túp lều" means "lều tranh." In anothor case, "a golden turtle" is used because this tortoise came from the sea. However I wonder why the author don't used "Turtle God" but "Tortoise God" for the vietnamese word "Thần Rùa."

Beside these good things, after reading this paragraph, I might consider the author as a word-for-word translator. I'm not sure those translated sentences would be acceptable or not to English people, even though they sound too vietnamese. "Có người kể vào thời xa xưa có một ông lão sống cô độc trong túp lều cạnh biển" was translated as "Ones tells about ancient times, when a lonely old man lived in a thatch hut by the sea." Is it better if we translate it in a more natural way as "Once upon a time, someone tells, in a thatched hut by the sea, lived a solitary old man"?

Moreover, could you see the author translate the sentence "Thần Rùa giao cho ông lão công việc bảo vệ quả trứng" into English as word for word: "The Tortoise God entrusted the old man with the job of protecting the egg"? I think there are some problems if we translate "công việc" here as "with a job", like the usual expression of vietnamese. So is it better if this sentence is translated as "The Tortoise God entrusted the old man with protecting the egg" or "The old man was asked to be responsible for protecting the egg by the Tortoise God"?

------------------------------
Comment 02

Vietnamese Paragraph:
(From Thiên nhiên hùng vĩ - Impressive Nature, pages 7-9, by Nguyễn Thành Tâm)
Dãy Anpơ
Định cư
Phần lớn các làng mạc nằm ở trong các thung lũng núi, hệ thống đường ray xe lửa và đường bộ cũng đi qua đây. Nhiều con đường nhỏ nối những thung lũng với những đường hầm đã bị cắt. Cây Alpine là thức ăn chính cho gia súc nuôi lấy sữa. Vào mùa hè thì gia súc gặm cỏ trên những đồng cỏ, đến mùa đông người ta mang những gia súc này về thung lũng và nuôi bằng cỏ khô. Người ta còn nuôi dê để lấy sữa và làm pho mát. Cây lương thực được trồng ở những thung lũng có ánh nắng nhiều hơn. Các con sông được dùng để phát triển thủy điện.

English Version:
Alps
Settlement
Most villages are in the valleys, which also provide routes for roads and railways. There are many mountain passes linking the valleys and many tunnels have been cut. Alpine life centres around the farms, which are mainly for dairy cattle. In summer the cattle graze on the meadows, in winter they are brought back to the valley and fed on hay. Goats are kept for milk and cheese. Crops are grown in the sunnier valleys. Rivers are used for hydroelectric power.

------------------------------
The author translates "các thung lũng núi" as "the valleys" in English. I think that is good when he skips the word "núi" because the paragraph just focuses on the valleys. Does the word "mountain passes" means "con đường nhỏ" in this paragraph? In my opinion, this word is right because "con đường nhỏ" in this context means "con đường mòn băng qua núi."

Also, the author uses passive voice to translate sentences which begin with "người ta...", like "người ta mang những gia súc này về thung lũng và nuôi bằng cỏ khô" translates as "they are brought back to the valley and fed on hay". This makes the sentences shorter and clearer.

In the last sentence, he skips the word "phát triển", but I think it's OK. If we translate it as "Rivers are used for developing hydroelectricity", it's just a little bit change.

In short, I consider this paragraph as a good translation, thanks for Mr. Nguyen Thanh Tam, even though the vietnamese edition is quite simple.

------------------------------

3. Week 06

Comment 01
Book: Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Paragraph 78, Page 64-65

After reading paragraph 78 (both the original and the English version) about Côn Đảo, it does not seem that I have learnt so many interesting things from the author. This translation does not seem to have a good word for me.

The first thing I would like to comment is that the author might not have a good ability at word choice. Basically, he does not think of the meaning of words in context carefully. For example, “Côn Đảo còn nổi tiếng với cái tên Đảo nhà tù” translates as “Côn Đảo is famous as Prison Island” in English, making readers very proud of the wound of the past. I think that is not a good way. Is it better if we replace “famous” by “is known”? I suggest translating the first sentence as “Not only does Con Dao have some spectacular scenery, but it is known as Prison Island.”

Since not all the French colonized Vietnam, we shouldn’t say that “The French built thirteen prisons.” This sentence should translate as “The French colonialists built thirteen prisons.” Similarly, “người Mỹ” in this case should translate as “the American invaders”. Also, I prefer to translate “chế độ Miền Nam cũ” as “Sai Gon puppet government (Chính quyền bù nhìn Sài Gòn)”, although “the former Southern regime” is acceptable.

Furthermore, I think “hướng dẫn viên nhiệt tình” doesn’t translate as “helpful guides”, thus I suggest “kind-hearted guides” or “enthusiastic guides”. The author translated “một khu tập trung nhỏ” as “a small, concentrated area”; is it exact if we use “a small concentration camp”?

Finally, I’m really tired with two words “closed” and “blockaded” because I don’t know which is the best for the meaning “khép kín” in the paragraph. My final suggest is that we can translate “điểm đến của những chuyến phiêu lưu khám phá tự nhiên” as “a popular adventure and safari destination”.

In short, as I mentioned before, this translation is quite simple. I hope that my comments will be considered in order to make it better.

------------------------------

Comment 02

Vietnamese Paragraph:
From "Giải quyết tình trạng trẻ em lao động tại bãi rác Đông Thạnh" - Special English
Thực hiện dự án hợp tác với UNICEF, từ tháng 8/1999, Ủy ban Bảo vệ và Chăm sóc trẻ em thành phố đã tiến hành khảo sát, lập điểm tư vấn, nâng cao kiến thức và truyền thông, mở lớp xóa mù chữ cho 25 em thanh thiếu niên, khám bệnh phát thuốc cho hơn 1.300 trường hợp, hình thành túi sách, túi dụng cụ TDTT lưu động, giới thiệu 15 em học nghề, vận động đưa 77 hộ với 303 nhân khẩu, trong đó có 148 trẻ em trở về quê. Tuy nhiên việc tiếp tục thực hiện các dự án cũng gặp nhiều khó khăn. Sau khi nghe các đại biểu thảo luận, đề xuất ý kiến, Phó Chủ tịch UBNDTP Phạm Phương Thảo đã tán thành giải pháp theo hướng vận động đưa trẻ cùng gia đình trở về địa phương sinh sống; ngăn ngừa, giảm bớt tiến tới chấm dứt tình trạng trẻ em và nhân dân vào bãi rác kiếm sống.

English Version:
"The Settle the Problem of Child Labour at Dong Thanh Dump-Site"
In co-operation with UNICEF since August 1999, the Child Protection and care committee has carried out investigation, at the Dump-site, setting up a consultant site, enhancing the level of education for 25 illiterate young children. Besides, they also carried out medical check up and distributed medicine to more than 1,300 cases, creating mobile library, sports bag, introducing 15 children to vocational centers, encouraging 77 families with 303 people with 148 children to come back to their native towns. However the carrying out of these projects has met a lot of difficulties. After hearing discussions and suggestions raised by the delegates, Mrs. Pham Phuong Thao, Vice chairwoman of the city people's committee, has agreed to the solution of encouraging the families and their children to come back to their native town, preventing, reducing and gradually putting an end to the problem of people and children making their living/working at the Dump-site.
------------------------------

In my opinion, the preceding paragraph is a good translation. I’m really like the way that the author translates the phrases.

For example, “thực hiện dự án hợp tác với UNICEF” translates as “In co-operation with UNICEF”. Although the author does not translate the verb “thực hiện”, the English version seems to be very good.

“Ủy ban Bảo vệ và Chăm sóc trẻ em thành phố” translates as “the Child Protection and care committee”; “đã tiến hành khảo sát” translates as “has carried out investigation”… Especially, the author use “besides” to divide one Vietnamese sentence into two English sentences, making the meaning of the content more clearly. Also, this way makes the translation easier for reading. For this reason, I think that the translator does a very good job.

Considering the last sentence, we should focus on the phrase “After hearing discussions and suggestions raised by the delegates…” The author uses a past participle (raised) to start a past participle phrase (raised by the delegates) with the function as an adjective to modify the noun phrase (discussions and suggestions). This is a good way that we can use in translating complex sentences.

THI BINH said...

NGUYEN THI BINH
7044727
binh.7044727@student.ctu.edu.vn

WEEK 6
MY COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 131 (page 99)

HUONG PAGODA (PERFUME PAGODA)
In my opinion, the piece of translation is rather successful in word choices and appropriate structures. For example, there are 2 verbs in a sentence, “nhung khi ngoi tren thuyen va ngam canh chung quanh thi du khach se co cam giac dong suoi nay dai vo tan.” The translator found the problem. He reduced a clause, “visitors enjoying a boat ride through the surrounding landscape may feel that this stream is endless.” Here the author used gerund for the verb “enjoying” not for “feel” because feel is the main verb. It carries the main idea of the sentence. One more thing I like in this paragraph is the use of “Yen stream”. In fact, we shouldn’t translate the word “Yen” to keep its original meaning. However, I think we must capitalize the word “Stream” in “Yen Stream” because “Yen Stream” is a name of a place.
Additionally, I suppose that we should translate the first sentence, “Chua Huong thuoc xa Huong Son, huyen My Duc, tinh Ha Tay” as “Huong Pagoda (Perfume Pagoda) is located in Huong Son Commune, My Duc District, Ha Tay Province” not as in, “Huong Pagoda (Perfume Pagoda) is located in Huong Son Commune in Ha Tay Province’s My Duc District,…”
Moreover, I think that most readers won’t understand quite well one point in the translated sentence: “This complex of pagoda is set amidst mountains, forests, lakes, and caves surrounded by vast green plains of rice.” The problem belongs to the verb “surrounded”. I wonder which one it modifies for, caves or the mountains, forests, and caves. When I read the origin paper, I can recognize that the mountains, forests, and caves are surrounded by vast green plains of rice. Therefore, I SUGGEST that we should translate the sentence as in “surrounded by vast green plains of rice, this complex of pagoda is set amidst mountains, forests, and caves.”
Besides, I also prefer to use the words “vast green rice paddies”. However, I know that the translator wants to emphasize the feature “dong bang” in “plains”. “Plains” may symbolize the prosperity of people here.
In short, this is a good translation. Its features lie in word choices, and the variety of well- written structures.
=====
Source: TRAVELLIVE
NHO CAN THO

Da lau khong ve Can Tho, bong dung long thay nho vo cung…nho ben Ninh Kieu, nho vung dat “gao trang nuoc trong”, nho xu so dong bang chau tho, mot noi ma khach Phuong xa mo duoc den tham du chi mot lan trong doi…
Can Tho gao trang nuoc trong
Ai di den do long khong muon ve
Ben con song Hau hien hoa, tho mong, ben Ninh Kieu ngay dem tap nap ghe xuong cho day ap nhung san vat dia phuong vung chau tho Cuu Long dang hien cho nguoi dong bang. Mua nao thuc ay, thien nhien ban tang cho nguoi Can Tho vo so hoa trai. Man Hong Dao dac ruot My Tho, xoai Cai Be thom ngat, sau rieng Cai Mon com day cui, vang lim. Nhan tieu Vinh Long ngon den noi an hoai khong ngan, oi xa li Cao Lanh vua to vua gion, lai it hat nhat la buoi Nam Roi chua an chua biet no ngon den the nao, nhung da an roi thi cu muon mua that nhieu ve lam qua tang nguoi than. Lieu co phai cai vi vua ngot, vua thanh cua trai cay dong bang Cuu Long la tu phu sa “song Me” ngay dem miet mai chuyen cho, boi dap cho dong bang, tu suc lao dong miet mai cua nguoi nong dan chat phac voi nhung giot mo hoi man chat hay tu nhung guong mat sam den vi nang va ban tay chai san vi cuoc xeng.
Nhung dem he day gio va bau troi day sao, dao bo tren ben Ninh Kieu chot thay con song Hau gan gui la. Duoi long song nhung chiec du thuyen cho day loi ca co ngot ngao cung tieng dan kim dao ban Nam Ai nghe sao buon man mac. Duong Hai Ba Trung van chay doc bo song nhung bay gio da moc len nhieu quan ca phe, sinh to, nhieu nha hang voi nhung mon an dam chat Nam Bo luon tap nap khach Tay, khach ta.

=====
CAN THO UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCES
It is a long time since I last visited Can Tho. Suddenly, I miss that region so much, miss Can Tho’s harbour, miss the land of white rice and pure water, miss the Delta land which everyone hopes to visit once in their lifetime.
“Can Tho, the land of white rice and pure water
All who come there, never want to leave.”
Standing on the gentle and romantic Hau river, Ninh Kieu harbor is crowded with boats full of specialities of the Mekong Delta. They provide for the needs of people everywhere. Each season has its own fruit. Can Tho is endowed with many fresh fruits such as My Tho plum, Cai Be mango, Cai Mon durian, Vinh Long longan, Cao Lanh guava and especially the Nam Roi pomelo which is a wonderful gift for friends and relatives.
The sweet flavor of fruits comes from alluvium of the Mekong river, which day and night feeds the delta. It also comes from the hard work of simple hearted peasants from their salty sweat and from sunburnt faces and hands hardened by wrestling with farming tools.
On windy and starry summer nights, walking around Ninh Kieu’s harbor, I felt that the Hau river was so deeply familiar. On the river, the boats carry with them sweet ancient melodies and sad Nam Ai tunes. Hai Ba Trung street still runs along both banks of the river. Many cafes and restaurants have emerged offering specialities of the Southern region to local and foreign visitors.

======
MY COMMENTS

The translator cut some parts of the origin writing to make the translated paper sound smooth. There are 2 reasons for the translator to cut while translating. The first reason belongs to vocabulary. It is difficult to translate complex words such as “oi khong hat, dac ruot, com day cui, vang lim.” The second one is that the Vietnamese paper has some problems in the meaning. Readers can easily find that the meaning is not clear and true in real life. For example, there is just one Hai Ba Trung along one side of the Hau River, not both sides as in the translation.
The author used simple past tense when he told us his unforgettable experiences in Can Tho. The other tense is simple present used in almost every sentence.
There is no identity in using Ninh Kieu’s harbor and Ninh Kieu harbor. I am confused whether the words “ Ninh Kieu’s harbor” would sound strange.
In short, the translation may be acceptable to interpreters working as tourist guides. However, it should be edited before being printed in tourism newspapers or magazines


WEEK 4
I will give my comments on the paragraph 40 (page 37)

In my opinion, the whole translation is rather smooth and flowery.
Firstly, I quite agree with using simple present tense and present perfect tense as in “Sa Pa has earned its reputation as the ‘Town in the Clouds’”. I also had experience in using structure “ Located…kilometres of (a place), …”.
However, I suggest that we can use another verb (nam o vi tri) like “ set its position” not “perches” although this verb creates a strong impression on our mind if we have a look at that sight.
“Thanh pho trong may” is translated as “Town in the clouds”. I wonder why we don’t translate it as “the town in clouds” or “the town in the clouds”. I myself prefer “ the town in clouds” because this town Sa Pa is the definite one while clouds are indefinite and numerous. Here the author seemed to pay all attention to the clouds, want to emphasize this specific feature in Sa Pa when he used “town in the clouds”.


TRAVELLIVE
CAM NANG DU LICH VIET NAM (15/7-15/8 2007)
Xe cua Nam Hai don chung toi lao nhanh tren con duong trai nhua phang li.Chua day 20 phut chung toi da co mat truoc vung bien menh mong cua Nam Hai Resort. Nhung hang dua cao vut dang dung dua trong gio bien, hang trieu khom lan dat toa huong thom ngat, dau do thap thoang nhung chiec chum to nho bieu trung cho su tru phu tao nen diem nhan cho khong gian von da thanh binh. Tung lan gio mat tu long dai duong thoi nhe, moi nguoi lao voi ra bien. Nuoc bien trong xanh den ky la. Anh ban cung doan reo len thich thu khi phat hien hoang hon dang buong dan noi cuoi troi. Nhung vet nang cuoi cung lan dai tren bo cat trang min, da troi nga mot mau vang man mac hoa cung mau xanh hien hoa cua nuoc bien tao nen mot buc tranh thien nhien dep den nao long…Tu bien nhin vao Nam Hai nhu mot lau dai khong lo lung linh.

[ During a recent visit, the Nam Hai car’s picked us up at the airport and shuttled us to the resort on a smooth asphalt road. In less than 20 minutes, we stood in front of the Nam Hai endless beach. Lines of coconut palms swayed lightly on in the breeze. Fragrant orchids in small clusters and big pots, perfumed the air and set a marvelous ambiance.
As a breeze blew in from offshore, sunbathers took to the sands and the clear sea water. A friend of mine shouted happily as the sun sunk on the horizon. As the waning sunlight fell on the white sandy beach, the dusky sky and gentle sea water made for a beautiful picture. From the beach, the Nam Hai Resort looks like a huge sparkling castle.]
MY COMMETS

What makes me interested in the piece of paper is its phrases such as “a smooth asphalt road” ( con duong trai nhua phang li), “ in less than 20 minutes” (chua day 20 phut), “coconut palms swayed lightly in the breeze” ( nhung hang dua cao vut dung dua don gio bien), “the waning sunlight” (vat nang cuoi cung).
In fact, the author translated its general meaning, not words by words. Here the author is rather creative in using the phrases instead of sentences when translating as in “ the dusky sky” ( bau troi nga mau vang man mac)
However, the translation is not perfect because the author ignored some meaningful words even phrases and sentences which make readers impressed such as “vung bien menh mong”, “hang trieu khom lan dat”, “bieu tuong cho su tru phu”, “khong gian von da thanh binh”, “nuoc bien trong xanh den ky la”, “mau vang man mac”, “mau xanh hien hoa”, “ dep den nao long”…I suppose that most readers understand very well the content of the article. The simple past tense is good enough to talk about a trip. The simple present tense is suitable to give comments on the Resort: “The Nam Hai Resort looks like a huge sparkling castle”. I also like the way of selecting structure “AS….”to creat a complex sentence as in “As a breeze blew in from the sea , sunbathers took to the sands and the clear seawater”.
Using the phrase : “During a recent visit” and “at the airport” is another success in translating to set up the place and time for readers to follow easily.


WEEK 3
COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 11 (PAGE 17)

I am interested in the first sentence of translation “seen from above, Ha Long Bay resembles a light blue handkerchief dotted with emeralds”, especially “handkerchief dotted with emeralds” is a good choice of words. “ His face turned out to sea” not “to the sea” is quite correct.
However, I think we can translate the sentence “vinh chi co tong dien tich la 1553 km2 ma co toi 1963 hon dao” as “ the bay is only 1553 square kilometers lagre yet has 1963 islands.” Instead of the use of the verb “cover”.Additionally, “ bobbing on the water” should be used instead of “bobbing in the water”. One more thing is that “tay chap niem Phat” should be translated into English as “clasps his hands to pray to Buddha” not “clasps his hand in prayer to Buddha”.
In short, the whole paragraph gave readers a great impression on the beauty of Ha Long Bay as well as the lovely names of the islands there.


MY COMMENTS
This piece of translation is very close to what I have expected. Using verbs to start the instructions is quite suitable for translating this kind of writing. I find it useful to memorize the following sentences: “be careful when covering the skin otherwise the cake will lose its attractive appearance. After covering, shape the cake. The egg yolk is stirred then poured over the surface of the cake. Place in the oven at 270 degrees for 20 minutes. Then remove from the oven and serve cold...” I strongly like the words “serve cold”. “serve cold” is a good word choice for translating cooking instructions. I’m also amazed at the use of the noun phrase “a good aroma” (co mui thom). In fact, the word I expected here is “ smell good”. However, the word “smell” can make people think of “ bad smell”. Therefore, “good aroma” sound fine and luxurious. Readers are really interested in such simple and clear instructions. This adds up to the successful ways in translation.
However, I am surprised at the word “seed” in “green tea seeds” and in “durian seeds”. I wonder how these seeds can be used to make cakes. It is totally wrong because seed and flesh are different. Indeed, flesh is used for making moon cakes not seeds
In short, the translation is a good example for translating instructions in cookery books. With simple and clear words and structures, it easily becomes popular with readers of different education.

WEEK 2
COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 47 (PAGE 41) IN VIETNAM’S NATURAL BEAUTY

In my opinion, the structures used in the Vietnamese writing paper is rather complex. The translator tried his best to use different relative clauses, contributing to a good piece of translation. Besides, I am interested in the word “popular” (duoc yeu thich). It is one of the good example of word choice in the passage. Similarly, the word “shroud” (bao phu) is used not the word “cover” revealing some secrets, or a hidden beauty which needs exploring by visitors. The sentence “it is conveniently near the road to Lai Chau” is required by grammar- the rules of grouping words from different part of speech: ADV + ADJ. However, I wonder why the author adds the word “traditional” to “a traditional suspension bridge” while doesn’t exist in the Vietnamese paper. Thus, I suppose that the author is trying to explain and offer more images on this special kind of bridge considered a feature in mountain cultures.
In the English writing paper, the author didn’t translate the words “di khoi” in “di khoi thac nuoc khoang 500m du khach co the den tham ban Muong Hoa”. I suggest that we should translate it as “walk past the waterfall about five hundred meters, visitors will come to Muong Hoa Village.” Here the translator used relative clause “which” and put it at the end of the sentence to emphasize the short distance to the village from the waterfall: “Worth visiting is Muong Hoa Village, which is only five hundred meters from the waterfall.
I also find the translated paper sound truly English in using the word “the experience” not “the journey” when translating the words “chuyen di”.
The other thing makes me pleased when reading the words in English is the capitalized words such as River in “Muong Hoa River”, Village in “Muong Hoa Village” and Bridge in “Cloudy Bridge”.


TRAVELLIVE (CAM NANG DU LICH VIETNAM)

NUOC HOA HALLOWEEN
THIEN SU CUA TINH YEU
Halloween la su ket hop cua nhung mui huong tinh tuy tu cam, huong nhai, va hoa hue, hoa tron voi cac tinh chat tu lan Nam Phi, xa huong va go dan huong de cho ra doi thu huong lang man nhu loi to tinh. Dieu dac biet khong chi nam trong thu huong cua troi dat ay ma con o dang chai nhu hinh cai chuong nho…va trai tim cua biet bao co gai da rung len nhu chiec chuong kia giua dem hoi lap lanh muon van mau sac.
Nhu mot thien su cua tinh yeu, Halloween da den Viet Nam de noi ho nhung nguoi dang yeu nhung dieu ho chua dam noi
SAN pham da co mat tai Ha Noi va Thanh pho Ho ChI Minh
Muon biet them chi tiet xin lien he
Cong Ty tnhh Thanh Bac Dong Duong
Tungshing square, 701& 702, 2 Ngo Quyen, Ha Noi
DT: 049350140
======

[ HALLOWEEN PERFUME
THE MESSENGER OF LOVE
Halloween perfume combines a number of flavors extracted from oranges, jasmine, and lily with essence from South Africa orchids, musk and sandalwood. Together the delicate scents form a romantic fragrance which is considered an avowal of love. The special feature of the perfume is not only the unique flavor but also the design of each bottle which has the shape of a small bell.
And how many girls have found their hearts ringing like those bells in colorful and sparkling nights?
Like a messenger of love, Halloween is now available in Vietnam to help lovers give shape and substance to their hidden thoughts.
These products are now available in Ha Noi and HCMC
For further information, please contact:
Thanh Bac Indochina Co., LTD
Tungshing square, 701&702, 2 Ngo Quyen, HN
Tel: 049350140 ]
=========
MY COMMENTS

In my opinion, this is a perfect piece of translation.
Firstly, “ the messenger of love” is a flowery language, or the word “extracted” in “ flavors extracted from orange, jasmine and lily” are good choice of words. Similarly, the phrase “an avowal of love” (loi to tinh) creates special feelings in readrs’ hearts when speaking it up. Also, “the unique flavor” (thu huong cua troi dat) is a praise worthy trial to translate the whole sentence.
Besides, using the structure S+V (COMBINE) is excellent to create a perfect sentence: “ Halloween perfume combines a number of flavors extracted from orange, jasmine and lily with the essence from South Africa orchids, musk and sandalwood.” However, I can use the structure S+V( TOBE) “ Halloween perfume is a combination of flavors extracted from….and essence from…
One more feature is that the author translates rather successfully in the phare ( noi ho nhung nguoi dang yeu nhung dieu ho chua dam noi) as in “help lovers give shape and substance to their hidden thoughts”.
For the last four sentences, the piece of translation inspires the style of economic articles. That is what I need to follow when translating such kinds of articles.

THI BINH said...

NGUYEN THI BINH
7044727
binh.7044727@student.ctu.edu.vn

WEEK 3

COMMENTS ON PARAGRAPH 11 (PAGE 17)

I am interested in the first sentence of translation “seen from above, Ha Long
Bay resembles a light blue handkerchief dotted with emeralds”, especially
“handkerchief dotted with emeralds” is a good choice of words. “ His face
turned out to sea” not “to the sea” is quite correct.
However, I think we can translate the sentence “vinh chi co tong dien tich la
1553 km2 ma co toi 1963 hon dao” as “ the bay is only 1553 square
kilometers lagre yet has 1963 islands.” Instead of the use of the verb
“cover”.Additionally, “ bobbing on the water” should be used instead of
“bobbing in the water”. One more thing is that “tay chap niem Phat”
should be translated into English as “clasps his hands to pray to Buddha”
not “clasps his hand in prayer to Buddha”.
In short, the whole paragraph gave readers a great impression on the beauty of
Ha Long Bay as well as the lovely names of the islands there.

BÁNH TRUNG THU
I. Nguyên kiệu ( nguyên liệu để làm 4 bánh, mỗi bánh 128 gram)
Nhân bánh:
- Nhân sen, nhân trà xanh, nhân vừng đen, nhân sầu riêng: mỗi loại 85 gr
- Lòng đỏ trứng muối 8 cái
- Rượu Mai Quế Lộ: 1 chén
- Trứng gà 1 quả
Vỏ bánh:
- Bột mỳ Hồng Kông 80g
- Nha đường 30g
- Dầu lạc 20g
II. Cách làm
Trộn đều bột mỳ, nha đường, dầu lạc chia đều thành 4 phần bằng nhau. Lòng đỏ trứng vịt muối ngâm trong rượu Mai Quế Lộ 15 phút sau đó vớt ra để ráo rồi cho vào lò nướng 15’. Lấy nhân các loại bao kín trứng muối rồi cán các phần bột mỏng bao ra ngoài (chú ý khi bao vỏ ngoài phải cẩn thận không để lộ nhân nếu không bánh sẽ không đẹp). Sau khi bao xong cho vào khuôn đóng bánh, xếp lên khay. Lòng đỏ trứng gà đập tan đều, dùng chổi lông quét nhẹ lên trên mặt bánh rồi cho vào lò nướng ở nhiệt độ 2700 trong vòng 20’ lấy bánh ra. Để thật nguội bánh ăn mới thơm ngon.
III. Yêu cầu cảm quan:
Bánh có màu vàng đều, trứng không nát, có mùi thơm, nhân bánh nhuyễn, không rời, vỏ mỏng không nát.
====
MOON CAKE
I. Ingredients ( for making 4 cakes, each 128gr)
Centre of cake:
- Lotus seeds, green tea seeds, sesame seeds, durian: each 85gr
- Salted egg yolk
- Mai Que Lo: a bowl
- One chicken egg
Skin of cake
- Hong Kong wheat flour:80g
- Malt: 30g
- Peanut oil: 20g
II. Instructions:
Mix the wheat flour, malt, and peanut oil well, then divide nto 4 equal parts. Soak salted egg yolk in Mai Que Lo wine for 15 minutes. Then remove it until it dries and put in all kinds of seeds (be careful when covering the skin otherwise the cake will lose its attactive appearance). After covering, shape the cakes. The egg yolk is stirred then poured over the surface of the cake. Place in the oven at 270 degree for 20 minutes. Then remove from the oven and serve cold.
III. Requirements:
The cake must be yellow. Eggs should not be broken and must have a good aroma. The centre should be well-kneaded. The skin should be thin and not clammy.


MY COMMENTS
This piece of translation is very close to what I have expected. Using verbs to
start the instructions is quite suitable for translating this kind of writing.
I find it useful to memorize the following sentences: “be careful when
covering the skin otherwise the cake will lose its attractive appearance. After
covering, shape the cake. The egg yolk is stirred then poured over the surface
of the cake. Place in the oven at 270 degrees for 20 minutes. Then remove from
the oven and serve cold...” I strongly like the words “serve cold”.
“serve cold” is a good word choice for translating cooking instructions.
I’m also amazed at the use of the noun phrase “a good aroma” (co mui
thom). In fact, the word I expected here is “ smell good”. However, the
word “smell” can make people think of “ bad smell”. Therefore, “good
aroma” sound fine and luxurious. Readers are really interested in such simple
and clear instructions. This adds up to the successful ways in translation.
However, I am surprised at the word “seed” in “green tea seeds” and in
“durian seeds”. I wonder how these seeds can be used to make cakes. It is
totally wrong because seed and flesh are different. Indeed, flesh is used for
making moon cakes not seeds
In short, the translation is a good example for translating instructions in
cookery books. With simple and clear words and structures, it easily becomes
popular with readers of different education.

thu said...

Week 2
Le Viet Thu 7044741
EE01 C30
jennythu@gamil.com
MỘT CÁI THƯ

Tôi viết thư cho anh tôi ở Hải Dương. Tôi lấy một tờ giấy trắng. Trên dòng đầu, tôi đề ngày tháng, dưới tôi kể những tin tức ở nhà cho anh tôi biết. Sau tôi chúc anh tôi mọi sự bình yên, rồi tôi gấp lại bỏ vào phòng bì trên dán cái tem sáu xu. Xong tôi sai người nhà đem thư ra bỏ vào thùng nhà dây thép ở cạnh nhà ga. Thế là cái thư của tôi chỉ độ chiều mai là xuống tới Hải Dương, có người đem lại tận nhà cho anh tôi.
( nguồn; 109 bài luyện dịch Việt – Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hầu biên soạn)

BÀI DỊCH ĐỀ NGHỊ

A LETTER

I write a letter to my brother who lives in Hai Duong. I take a sheet of white paper. On the first line, I write the date, and then I inform him of the news concerning our family. In the end, I wish him every thing good. After that, I fold it, put it into an envelope, on which I stick a six-sou stamp. Then, I have my servant bring the letter to put it into the letter-box of the post office which is near to the station. So my letter will arrive in Hai Duong about tomorrow afternoon and it will be taken to my brother’s house.

Comment:
The translation above is taken from the book. In my opinion, this version is good and smooth. The translator changes some structures which are ambiguous so that the readers are not confused. For example, sentence ‘ tôi viết thư cho anh tôi ở Hải Dương’ can be ambiguous because I wonder if ‘ở Hai Duong’ modifies to ‘anh tôi’ or ‘tôi’. However, basing on the context that the text is appeared, we can know that ‘ở Hai Duong’ is a modifier for ‘anh tôi’ because if it does not modify ‘anh tôi’, ‘Tôi’ can not tell about the news in the next sentences. As a result, the relative clause is used to make clear to ‘anh tôi’. That is the point I should pay attention and should learn. So the Vietnamese sentence above should be translated as ‘I write a letter to my brother who lives in Hai Duong.’ as the author write.
Next point in the text that I like is also concerning about changing the structure. I will take an English version ‘I inform him of the news concerning our family’. The author has a good reasonable change, although in Vietnamese version just talk ‘tôi kể những tin tức ở nhà cho anh tôi biết’. He carefully analyses. As the same way of explanation, just ‘tin tức ở nhà’ is mentioned, he change it into ‘the news concerning our family’ instead of using ‘the news of the family’ in my own translation. His phrase is better and conveys the fuller meaning.
Another point that he impresses me is the way of using word. When I read the Vietnamese version and I see a word ‘nhà dây thép’, I don’t know what it is. I, then, look up the Vietnamese dictionary and I read the translated version, I realize that it is a post office. He uses it reasonably with exact meaning.
Although the English translated version is good and smooth, it should be improved some points. Firstly, in the sentence ‘Tôi lấy một tờ giấy trắng’ in general and phrase ‘một tờ giấy trắng’ in particular, the author translates it into ‘a sheet of white paper’. In my opinion, it should be written as ‘a sheet of paper’ is enough when writing a letter and then taking a sheet of papers, we can infer that this paper is white and has nothing inside. So, it should be written as ‘a sheet of paper’ is enough. Secondly, in the phrase ‘phòng bì trên dán cái tem sáu xu’, the writer writes ‘an envelope, on which I stick a six-sou stamp’. This means that he wants to emphasize the action of the subject ‘I’ or ‘tôi’. In my view, the six-sou stamp has already been on the envelope, so I just want to emphasize that the stamp is already pasted. And using the verb ‘paste’, instead of ‘stick’ is more reasonable, because the meaning of these two words nearly the same but quite different. Both mean put something closely to a surface or something; however, ‘stick’ means putting something by thrusing or by adhensive, vice versa ‘paste’ means fastening or coating with a paste. So I choose ‘paste’ because its meaning is nearly the same ‘dán’. The next point that should be pay attention is using a word ‘servant’ replacing to ‘người nhà’. I suppose that we should use a word ‘charwoman’ or ‘one member of my fanily’ or something else, because the word ‘servant’ is quite heavy. A servant is a person who employed to do domestic duties especially in a rich family. And using ‘servant’ shows that there is no respect to the person who does this job. And we don’t know exactly the meaning of ‘người nhà’ in the Vietnamese version, so it is really careful in choosing word. Or some neutral words should be used. The last one that I want to disciss is in the last sentence especially in the last phrase or clause ‘…Hải Dương, có người đem lại tận nhà cho anh tôi.’. As translating, I write ‘…Hai Duong where there is a postman will deliver it to my brother’s own hands.’ I think it better because I want to emphasize ‘giao tận tay’.

Paragraph 6 page 12-13

In general, this paragraph is smooth an good. I like the way the author use words in this version. They are quite exact. In the first sentence in the translation, the author changes the structure reasonably. He used passive voice to emphasize the Tra Co Communal House is build to honor their contribution of the village. In my opinion, I will write as ‘The Tra Co Communal House is used to honor the six gods who have great contribution to the village’s establishment. Next sentence, I think that I translate that ‘The Communal House, built in 1550 has two wings with seven rooms for each one. In this sentence I change the structure rather than the original one. However, I was surprised that the word ‘chai’ was translated by ‘wing’. I checked up the dictionary a lot and I recognize that it is true and close to the Vietnamese word ‘chai’. This shows that the author is so careful in choosing a using the words. Moreover, I also encounter some where in the translated text that reflect his skill in using vocabulary. Foe example, in the text, he uses ‘pillar’ replace to ‘cot’. In fact, in dictionary, I take up nearly four words: column, pillar, mast and pole that present one meaning. However, there is just one word ‘pillar’ is right in this context; the others are used in other context, not this one. In the sentence ‘Forty eight wooden pillars ….......... carvings.’ the sentence is quite complex because he uses reduced relative clause to modify the subject ‘…wooden pillars’ and he just uses one verb ‘to support’ as the main verb. In comparison to the Vietnamese structure, he misses not to translate ‘…tao thanh bo hung do mai nha…’ be cause maybe it is quite difficult to translate it into English, the way he write is quite easy to understand. However, in this sentence, he uses one word that should be replaced. That is ‘intricate’. This word means complicated and confused. I do not think that the carvings are so complicated to cause the confusion to the viewers. I think it should be ‘sophisticated’. And the last sentence, I think it’s alright; however, there is a word that should be changed. Tortoise should be used rather than ‘turtle’. Because the meaning of two words is quite the same; however, tortoise indicates the animal live in land and turtle is usually live under the sea which has flippers. So in my view, tortoise is better and it is close to the original context.

Week 4
LE VIET THU 7044741
EE01K30
Email: jennythu@gmail.com
Optional paragraph:
Shannon Curfman duoc giup do de sang tac hon mot nua cac bai trong album cua co ay. Cac phong vien da cho rang co con qua tre de co the viet nhac blues. Co giai thich rang viet bai hat la ke mot cau chuyen. Co chung to duoc rang tuoi tac khong phai la van de ma am nhac moi la dieu quan trong. Bay gio chung toi moi ban lang nghe mot bai hat khac cua Shannon Curfman trong anlbum moi nhat cua co, ‘No Riders’
Suggested translation version of the author:
Shannon Curfman helped write more than half the songs on her album. Reporters ask her often how someone so young can write the blues so well. Shannon says that song-writing is story-telling. She says she hopes to show that it is not the age but the music that is important. We leave you now with Shannon Curfman reforming another song on her latest album, ‘No Riders’.
(Both taken from the book “Tuyen chon cac bai dich Viet-Anh theo chu diem” of Nguyen Thanh Tam. Shannon Curfman)

Comments:
This translation version is quite good. It is smooth enough for the readers to read. However, this should be improved more for its word choice and its structures. Let look on each sentence of this paragraph and examine it.
For the first sentence, Shannon Curfman is receiving the help of her friends or someone else basing on the Vietnamese version. With the sentence ‘Shannon Curfman helped write…’ the readers will understand that she gives her help for someone, yet in fact she receives the help. So Passive Voice should be used to emphasize the aid of her colleagues. Besides to music, ‘to write’ a song, a verb ‘to compose’ should usually use rather than the verb ‘to write’. Therefore, I will write ‘Shannon Curfman receives the aid in composing more than half the songs on her album’
In the next sentence: ‘Reporters ask her often how someone so young can write the blues so well.’ With this one, the readers will understand that ‘someone’ does not indicate Shannon, but anyone else. So it is not related to the meaning of the origin. With the structure, we will see that the reporters consider Shannon as a reader or a person who gives the idea of whether young person can write blues, but Shannon herself can compose blues. So, using ‘ask her often how someone…’ here is not appropriate to the Vietnamese version. The problem comes from the structure and the word choice that the writer uses. They make the readers understand differently. One thing I want to discuss is that in Vietnamese version, it does not mention that how well Shannon composes her songs. Therefore, it is no need to add ‘so well’. Thus, with my suggestion, it should be translated: ‘Reporters claim that Shannon is too young to be able to compose blues’. This sentence seems simple and clears to the readers rather the former one.
The sentence ‘Shannon says that song-writing is story-telling’ compared with Vietnamese version ‘Co giai thich rang viet bai hat la ke mot cau chuyen.’ One thing I want to share is using the verb ‘giai thich’. Because Shannon is interviewee, when she answers, she will gives her own explanation to the reporters’ question. So, I think the verbs ‘to explain’ is more appropriate and better although ‘to say’ is right. In my opinion, I will translate: ‘She explains that composing songs seems to be the same to story-telling.’ I change ‘song-writing’ into ‘composing songs’ because as I explained before, composing is more suitable than writing.
With next sentence: ‘Co chung to duoc rang tuoi tac khong phai la van de ma am nhac moi la dieu quan trong.’ which is translated into English as: ‘She says she hopes to show that it is not the age but the music that is important.’ it should be improve somewhere. First, I want to mention to the word choice here. If the writer uses ‘she says she hope to show that………’, the emphasis level on the sentence is quite weak. In my opinion, the verb ‘to prove’ should be used because it will show her emphasis on her next saying. In addition, I think that using another structure unlike used one is necessary in ‘it is not the age but the music that is important.’ I will write that: ‘the age is not important, but the music is more’ Thus for the whole sentence, it should be: ‘She proves that the age is not important, but the music is more’
For the last one: ‘Bay gio chung toi moi ban lang nghe mot bai hat khac cua Shannon Curfman trong anlbum moi nhat cua co, ‘No Riders’ . The former translated version is: ‘We leave you now with Shannon Curfman reforming another song on her latest album, ‘No Riders’ First I want to discuss about the word choice. The writer uses the verb ‘to reform’ that is not appropriate to the meaning of the original version. ‘to reform’ here means to make something become better by the removal of faults or errors. So in this context, this verb can not be used. Moreover, this sentence seems to invite the listeners to hear one of the works of Shannon. So, I think that when translating, using suitable structure for example using ‘Let’s…’ or ‘let us…’ is better. In my opinion, this sentence should be ‘Let us now show you another song of Shannon Curfman in her latest album, ‘No Riders’.



Compulsory paragraph: Paragraph 126 page 96-97
The sentence ‘This area twelve kilometers north of Da Lat includes Lang Bian Mountain, which has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162 meters’ is so smooth. I like the way the author use the reduced relative clause because the sentence might be shorter but still contain the main meaning of the original version. With the phrase ‘…has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162 meters’, he uses ‘altitude’ to indicate the height of something usually above sea level. Maybe we can see that only using ‘altitude’ replacing for ‘the height above sea level’ may not be enough in term of meaning. In my opinion, adding a phrase ‘above sea level’ will make the sentence more completely. One more thing I want to share is that I will change the structure in ‘…has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162meters’ a little. This may be quite complex for reader. The first time I read this phrase, I could not understand because it is quite difficult and complicated to read. So, it should be written in a simpler way. In my idea, I think that ‘…has the highest altitude at 2,162 meters above sea level in this area’. That way is less complex than the English version. Thus, the whole new sentence may be ‘This area twelve kilometers north of Da Lat includes Lang Bian Mountain, which has the highest altitude of the area at 2,162 meters above sea level’.
For the next sentence ‘It is popular with both local residents an tourists interested in adventure sports and in studying are flora and fauna’, I think the translator uses ‘resident’ is not appropriate. Because if ‘resident’ is a noun, it just indicate the permanent inhabitant or the guest in a hotel or something else. So it should be used another word. Simply, ‘people’ or ‘citizens’ can replace for ‘resident’. Another point is using word ‘studying’ which means ‘nghien cuu’ in original text. I think the better word is ‘to research’. Although both words convey the same meaning, they are used in different contexts. The verb ‘to study’ means ‘to get knowledge from the books or materials maybe for a long time or to achieve the knowledge’. However, the verb ‘to research’ means ‘to study from the books or materials in order to establish the facts or withdraw conclusions’. Therefore, in this context, the meaning of ‘to research’ is the closest. Besides, with the structure, I will use another way. In my opinion, I will translate ‘Both local citizens and tourists consider Lam Vien Plateau as their favorite place where they are able to play adventurous sports and to research on rare flora and fauna.’ This sentence seems clearer and closer to the original text.
For the last sentence: ‘Residents belong to the Lat, chil, and Ma ethnic minority groups’, firstly I will change ‘Residents’ into ‘Citizents’ with my explanation before and
They are no things to discuss more in this final one. Thus, the new sentence should be ‘Citizens here belong to the Lat, Chil, and Ma ethnic minority groups.’ In this sentence, I add an adverb ‘here’ to make clear and emphasize the place Lat, Chil and Ma people live is in Lam Vien Plateau in particular and Lang Bian Mountain in general, not somewhere else

trang said...

NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7044743
Email address: nmtrang86@gmail.com
Week 2
Paraph 4 Page13


The translator is good to change Vietnamese words “bờ biển trải dài 3.000 km” into an English noun phrase “3,000-kilometre coastline”, and use it for a subject in the sentence.
I also like the way the translator translates the phrases “tỉnh Quảng Ninh ở phía Bắc” into “the northern province of Quang Ninh” and “tỉnh Cà Mau ở phía cực Nam” into “Vietnam’s southern-most province of Ca Mau”.
The translator is successful to choose the word “coastline” to translate “bờ biển”. With the meaning of “bờ biển”, we also have the word “seashore” but the translator does not use it. “Coastline” is the line of the seashore, so it is more appropriate for using “coastline” than “seashore” because there is measure of 3,000-kilometre length.
I recognize that the translator does not translate word by word, but bases on the meaning of the source text.
Besides, he uses clear structures to translate, for example: “stretch from…to…” “range from…to…” and relative pronoun “that” to link two clauses of a sentence.

On the other hand, there are some things I disagree with the translator.
Firstly, I do not like he uses conjunction “and” (line4). If he uses “and”, the phrase “Vietnam’s 3,000-kilometre coastline” will be the subject in the sentence “Việt Nam có nhiều đảo, vịnh và bãi biển…và sôi động”. But in this sentence, “ Viet Nam” is the subject. So it is impossible to use “and”. I have another translation: “, therefore Viet Nam has a lot of islands, bays, and beaches”. I use conjunction “therefore” between two clauses of the sentence.
Secondly, I disagree when the translator translates the phrase “những nơi hẻo lánh và lãng mạn và những nơi nổi tiếng và sôi động” into “the secluded and romantic to the popular and sporty”. I have a different translation: “ romantic and remote regions to bustling and popular ones” .I wonder why the translator translates “hẻo lánh” into “secluded” not “remote”. “Secluded” means screen from view, “remote” means far apart, distant (area, region). According to me, adjective “remote” is more appropriate than “secluded”. I also disagree when the translator use the word “sporty” with the meaning “sôi động” because it means being fond of sport. I think the translator should use the word “bustling”. It means active, lively. It is suitable to mention to the life of a region.



MÙA ĐÔNG Ở HUẾ
Mùa đông ở Huế thật là khó chịu. Ở Bắc Việt trời lạnh nhưng ráo ,một cái lạnh làm cho người tráng kiện và thôi thúc ta hoạt động. Còn ở đây, trái lại, trời mưa tầm tả, hết tuần này sang tuần khác, liên miên, tưởng như không bao giờ dứt. Mọi vật đều ẩm ướt, không khí nặng nề bao trùm lên mọi vật và tưởng như sống trong một cảnh lao tù, thiếu ánh sáng, thiếu tiếng chim hót, phải sống trong khung cảnh chật hẹp, mọi hoạt động đều tê liệt.


Thạch Lam

THE WINTER AT HUẾ
The winter at Huế is very unpleasant. In North Vietnam, it’s cold but dry; a cold makes everybody vigorous and exciting to work. Whereas, here, it rains cats and dogs, week after week, continuously and seems never to stop. Everything becomes moist, the sultry air covers the whole scenery and everybody feels as if they were in a prison, which is short of sunlight, birdsong, (as if they) lives in a confined space and all activities were immobile.

***********************************
MY COMMENTS:
I agree with the translator when he uses “unpleasant” for translating Vietnamese word “khó chịu”. There are many English words having meaning of ”khó chịu” such as: insupportable, disagreeable. But “unpleasant” is the most appropriate word. We use “unpleasant” for smells, and weather.
I think it is not necessary to translate Vietnamese words “một cái lạnh” into English “a cold” but readers can also understand .I think it should be used relative pronoun “which”. “In North-Vietnam, it’s cold but dry, which makes everybody…”
One more thing I disagree with the translator is his word usage. He translates “tráng kiện” into “vigorous” but “vigorous” does not mean “tráng kiện”. “Tráng kiện” means strong, healthy, hale and hearty. It is used for health of the old. So the words should be used here are “ strong, healthy, or hale and hearty”.
I like the phrase “cats and dogs”. It’s a metaphor. “It rains cats and dogs” means “it rains heavily”.
“Sultry” means “hot and close” in English. In Vietnamese, it means “oi bức, ngột ngạt”. “ Không khí nặng nề ” does not mean “hot weather”. So “sultry’ is not appropriate in this situation. “Không khí nặng nề” means lacking fresh, air, light. Therefore the most appropriate word is “stuffy”.


NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7O44743
Email address: nmtrang86@gmail.com
WEEK 3

Paraph 10 Page 15

First of all , I wonder why the translator links two first sentences from the source text into one in English translation . I disagree when the translator translates the sentence “ Nhiệt độ trung bình hàng năm ở Trà Cổ là 22,7oC ” into “ Trà Cổ’s average annual temperature of 22.7oC ”. In this phrase , arrangement of adjectives “ average ” and “ annual ” is not correct . “ Annual ” should stand before “ average ”. I think it should be translated into a sentence , not noun phrase . Because , if it is a noun phrase , readers will misunderstand that it is one of the subjects of verb phrase “ khiến cho nơi đây là một nơi phát triển đầy hứa hẹn ”. From the source text , we can recognize that the phrase of “ cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên của Trà Cổ còn giữ được nguyên vẻ hoang sơ ” is the subject of this verb phrase . In my opinion , the first sentence should be translated like that : Trà Cổ’s annual average temperature is 22.7oC .
I like the way that the translator uses noun phrase in the English translation such as : “ its secluded location away from the bustle of ports ” and “ its unspoiled natural beauty ”. The translation is good to translate the sentence of “ cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên của Trà Cổ còn giữ được nguyên vẻ hoang sơ ” into a noun phrase but have the same meaning . This is good because it makes the translation become shorter . But I confuse with the adjective “ unspoiled ” because it is usually used for person .
I think the phrase of “ một nơi phát triển đầy hứa hẹn ” means “ một nơi có tiềm năng phát triển ”. We do not need translate the word “ hứa hẹn ” into “promising ”. “ Promising ” is used for person . Therefore , I think the phrase “ a promising site for development ” should be changed into “ a site of potential development ”.
I disagree with the translator when he translate the word “ đường biển ” into “ water ”. According to me , this word should be translated into “sea ”.







ÂM NHẠC

Âm nhạc là một trong các môn cần dùng trong sự giáo dục của một dân tộc văn minh. Không nói gì ở các nước Âu Châu người ta chú trọng đến âm nhạc trong khi dạy dỗ dân chúng; ngay bên Á đông mình, thánh hiền xưa cũng dành cho âm nhạc một địa vị quan trọng ngang với văn chương và chính trị .
Người là một giống có tình cảm. Lòng người luôn luôn bị ngoại vật khích động làm cho vui buồn,mừng giận bất thường.Những lúc trong lòng rạo rực ấy, người ta hay ca hát để gởi vào âm điệu du dương cái tâm sự tràn ngập của mình.
Âm nhạc do lẽ cần thiết ấy mà sinh ra.

Lan khai

Bài dịch
MUSIC


Music is one the subjects necessary for the education of a civilized people. Without speaking of European countries where people attach much important to music while teaching men; in our very East Asia, the saints and sages of yore reserved an important position for it on the same footing as literature and politics.
Man is sentimental creature. His heart is often affected by external things which make him abnormaly merry, sad, happy or angry. In these exciting moments, he usually sings so as to express his exuberant confidence vinto melodious musical sounds.
From this cause of necessity, music has been created.

My comments:

In the first sentence, I think the translator should use the structure “ be one of ” It means “ một trong những ” in Vietnamese. “ Music is one of the subject… ”. In source text , we have the phrase “ dân tộc văn minh ”. It includes two words: “ dân tộc ” and “ văn minh ”. We do not need to divide this noun phrase into two words when translating into English “ civilized people ” because in English we have one word which has meaning of “ dân tộc văn minh ”. This is “ civilization ”.
In the next sentence, I disagree when the translator translates the phrase “không nói gì ” into “ without speaking of ”. This is word by word translation. I think we can use structure “ not only…but also ” to link two clauses of this sentence and it also has the same meaning with the one in source text. “ Người ta chú trọng đến âm nhạc ” means “ người ta xem âm nhạc rất quan trọng ” or “ âm nhạc đóng vai trò rất quan trọng ”. “ Attach ” means “ be fond of ”. So it is not suitable in this situation. I think we should use structure of “ music plays an important role ” instead of “ people attach much importance to music ”. And the phrase “ dạy dỗ dân chúng ” which is translated into “ teaching men ” should be changed into another term. Although in the source text, the author writes “ dạy dỗ dân chúng ”, we should not translate word by word. We should understand the meaning and use a term which has the same meaning with the words in the source. According to me I use “ teaching ” or “ education ”. We do not need use the word “ men ” but we can also understand. And we should use preposition “ in ” before “ teaching ” or “ education ” in stead of conjunction “ while ”. “Not only in European countries , does music play an important in teaching , but in East Asia , the saints and sages of yore also reserved an important position for it…”
The translator is good to use passive of verb “ affect ” when he translates the word “ khích động ”. I think we can also use the word “ influence ” in this situation.
I wonder why the translator translates the phrase “ tâm sự tràn ngập ” into “exuberant confidence ”. They have different meaning. I think we should use another phrase which has the same meaning such as “ every thing in the mind ”.

NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7044743
Email address: nmtrang86@gmail.com
Week 4


Paraph 16 Page 21

“ Bãi Cháy ” is the name of a region so we need remain in the English translation. We do not have to translate this name into English. But if we want to help readers to understand more about the meaning of the word “Bãi Cháy ”, we should translate it into English and put it in a bracket as the translator does in English translation: (Burning Plain). It is a good way to help readers to understand more about the text.
In the source, the author writes: “tương truyền rằng xưa kia” but in the translation, the translator does not translate this phrase into English. He just writes “one describes”. It is clearly that he does not translate word by word but I can understand what the author wants to say in the text. “One” means one of the legends that the author mentions in the first sentence. So the translator is very good to use “one” here. It not only is a short way of translation but also can make two sentences be connected.
I agree with the translator when he uses the word “Vietnamese” in the translation although it is not mentioned to in the source text. The appearance of the word “Vietnamses” in the translation is very important because it can help readers to distinguish two different armies. One is Yuan-Mongolian and the other is Vietnamese.
I think when we translate the word “nghĩa quân” into English, we should use “insurgent army” in stead of “defender”. “insurgent army” means organized civilian body fighting for a just cause. “Defender” means protection. So “insurgent army” is more suitable in this situaton.
I think when we translate the sentence “đoàn thuyền chở lương thực của quân xâm lược Nguyên-Mông do tướng Trương Văn Hổ dẫn đầu đã bị nghĩa quân của tướng Trần Khánh Dư đốt cháy toàn bộ”, we should use relative pronoun to link two clauses of the sentence in stead of divide two clauses into two different sentences like the translator. This is my translation: “One descibes that a fleet led by Trương Văn Hổ with food for the Yuan-Mongolian invaders was fired by the Vietnamese insurgent army of Trần Khánh Dư”.
I disagree with the translator when he uses plural form for the word “wind”. “Wind” is an uncountable noun so it can not have “s”.
I wonder why the translator does not use the word “the West” when he translates the word “phía tây” in stead of “the western side”. These two phrases have the same meaning so we should use the short phrase to make the translation not too long.
I disagree when the translator translates the last sentence “Từ đó người ta đặt tên là Bãi Cháy” into “Hence, the name “Bãi Cháy” because it is not a sentence. It is just a nounphrase. I have another translation: Hence, it is named “Bãi Cháy”.










VƯỜN HOA ĐÀ LẠT

Đà Lạt nổi tiếng nhờ đủ loại hoa sặc sỡ và quí hiếm quanh năm.Vườn hoa Đà Lạt vào năm 1992 đã đoán tiếp 100000 du khách tạo được một doanh thu trên 400 triệu đồng .
Trong suốt nửa năm đầu của năm 1993,số du khách đến vườn hoa ngang với con số của cả năm 1992 trong đó du khách nước ngoài chiếm số đông. Ngay cả vào những ngày cao điểm,vườn hoa đã đón tiếp 7500 lượt du khách .
Với lễ Giáng sinh đang tới gần,vườn hoa Đà lạt sẽ thu hút nhiều du khách hơn nữa.Ngoài việc tiếp đón du khách tại vườn ra, công ty vườn hoa Đà lạt sẽ sẵn sàng thỏa mãn những yêu cầu của dân chúng về hoa,cỏ và việc trồng cây cảnh.Năm 1993,công ty vườn hoa Đà Lạt hy vọng kiếm được một doanh thu trên một tỷ đồng.

Kim Túy


Bài dịch
DALAT FLOWER GARDENS

Da Lat is famous for its colourful and precious flowers of a wide range, all the year round. The Dalat Flower Gardens received 100.000 tourists in 1992, earning a turnover of more than VNĐ 400 million.
During the first half of 1993, tourist arrivals at the gardens eaqualled to that of the whole year of 1992, when foreign tourists flourished in numbers. The flower gardens on peak days even welcomed 7.500 tourist arrivals.
Christmas is drawing near, Dalat flower gardens will embrace much more tourists. Apart from receiving at the gardens, Dalat Flower Garden Co. is willing to satisfy the people’s needs for flowers, grass and the growing of ornamental trees. In 1993, the Dalat Flower Gardens hoped to earn a turnover of over VND 1 billion.

My comments:
I disagree when the translator uses the verb “receive” in the sentence: “The Dalat Flower Gardens received 100.000 tourists in 1992”. Because the subject in this sentence (The Dalat Flower Gardens) is belong to thing, not person but the verb “receive” must go with personal subjects. So we can use another structure to translate this sentence. This is my translation: 100.000 tourists visited the Dalat Flower Gardens in 1992.
The translator is wrong when he uses the word “eaqualled”. It is not a verb and it does not mean “ngang bằng với”. He should use structure of “be equal to”
When translating Vietnamese words “chiếm số đông”, the translator uses the phrase “flourish in numbers”. I think it is not appropriate because “flourish” means “prosper”. It can not used with number. In my opinion, we should use the adjective “numerous”. It means many.
The translator is good when he uses the verb “welcome” for translating Vietnamese word “đón tiếp”. The verb “welcome” is very suitable in this situation. It can be used with a subject belong to thing.
I disagree with the translator when he uses “near” in the sentence: “Christmas is drawing near”. It is not suitable when he uses “near” because “near” is used for space, not time. But in the sentence, we mention to the time of Christmas. I have another translation: Christmas is coming soon.
I disagree when the translator translates Vietnamses word “thu hút” into “embrace” because this English word does not mean “thu hút”. I think we should use the verb “attract” or “interest”.
The phrase “apart from receiving at the garden” is very ambiguous for readers to understand what the author means in the source “ngoài việc tiếp đoán du khách tại vườn ra”. The word “receiving” can not be used in this situation. This is my translation: apart from welcoming visitors at the gardens.



NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7044743
Email address: nmtrang86@gmail.com


Week 6
Paraph 86 page 71
In general, the translation is smooth and keep full meaning from the source test. However, there are some points I disagree with the translator. Firstly, I think the translator should translate Vietnamese word “núi đá” into “rock moutain” in English in the first sentence. If the translator use “rock”, readers can understand that Dinh Cậu is the name of a rock, not a mountain.
Secondly, the translator has mistake with the grammar point in the phrase: “sand and sea and sun and stone”. Between “sand” and “sea”, “sea” and “sun” we should use commas: “sand, sea, sun and stone”.
I wonder why the translator uses the word “harmony” in the translation. I think it is not necessary in this situation because this word is usually used for music. We can delete this word and change “perfect” into adverb which can keep the meaning of the source.
In the second sentence, the word “rock” should also change into “rock mountain”.
There are some problems in the last sentence. In the source, the writer says that: “Có các bậc đá đưa du khách lên đỉnh” but in the translation, this sentence is translated into: “Steps take visitors to the top”. I think this translation dose not emphasize the meaning that in Dinh Cậu, there are steps to help visitors to the top.
One more thing I disagree when the translator uses the phrase “gentle sea breeze” because the word “breeze” means “gentle wind” so it will be redundant to use the word “gentle” in this phrase.


NĂM HỌC MỚI

Các em thân mến!
Hôm nay là mồng năm tháng chín, các em hăm hở trở lại trường. Nhưng có vài em còn luyến tiếc mấy tháng hè rong chơi thỏa thích. Nhưng thôi! Đã đi học thì phải quyết chí chuyên cần. Năm nay lên lớp trên các em phai cố gắng hơn.
Các em mỗi tuổi một lớn, trí óc mỗi ngày một khôn, sự học cũng phải mỗi ngày một tấn tới.
Các em phải cố gắng học cho khỏi phí thì giờ. Và có như vậy mai đây trưởng thành mới làm tròn bổn phận người dân được.

Bài dịch: A NEW SCHOOL YEAR

My dear pupils,
Today is the fifth of september, therefore, all of you are eager to come back to school. But there are some of you who still longingly remember the summer holiday when they enjoyed themselves. But that will do, once you go to school, you should set your mind to studies. This year, in the higher form, you should spend much more efforts.
You become taller and taller every year, your minds get clever and clever, so you should make more and more progress in your studies.
You should try to study hard not to waste your time. And in so doing, some day to come, when you become grown-up men, you will be able to fulfil your duties as citizens.
My comments:
In general, the translation is good and keep the meaning from the source. In the first sentence, I really agree with the translator when he uses conjunction “therefore” to link two clauses of this sentence. It makes the idea in this sentence be connected together. Different with the source, the writer just writes two clauses and uses a comma between them without any conjuncton. In the third sentence, I like the way that the translator translates Vietnamese phrase “quyết chí chuyên cần” into “set your mind to studies” in English. The translator uses the structure : set one’s mind to something which means “chú tâm vào việc gì” in Vietnamese. It has the same meaning with “quyết chí chuyên cần”.
However, there are some points I disagree with the translator. Firstly, I do not understand the meaning of the phrase “But that will do” in the sentence. The translator uses this phrase with Vietnamses meaning “nhưng thôi”. I wonder whether readers can understand this phrase.One more thing I want to change in the translation is the phrase “some day to come”. The translator uses this phrase to translate Vietnamese word “mai đây”. I think this phrase is rather difficult for readers to understand the same meaning with “mai đây”. We can use another English phrase which has the same meaning and easy for readers to understand such as: in the future. Next, I disagree with the translator when he uses conjunction “but” in the second sentence. If he uses “but”, the meaning of the first sentence will be totally contrary to the second one. But the meaning of the second sentence is not quite different from the meaning of the first one. Because it is not sure to say that pupils who still longingly remember the summer holiday when they enjoyed themselves are not eager to come back to school. So we should use conjunction “however” instead of “but”. When we use “however”, meaning of the second sentence is not quite different with the first one, but it will add more information. Besides, it is so complicated when the translator uses the structure: “there are some of you”. It is not natural when we use “there are”. We just say “some of you” with function as a subject, and unnecessary to use “there are”.So the second sentence will be simpler and shorter: Some of you still longingly remember the summer holiday… Another point, the translation is not good when there is repetition of conjunction “but” in the second and the third sentence . The translator has mistake with the wor “fulfil”. It has wrong spelling. It must be change into “fulfill”. Besides, with Vietnamese meaning “truong thanh”, we should use “mature” when translating into English instead of “grown-up”. “Mature” is more suitable than “grown-up” when it is used for men.

DAVID HO said...

These are my comments of week 2,3 and 6

WEEK 2

Page 12, paragraph 4:
In the title “Viet Nam co nhung dao, vinh va bai bien nao duoc ua thich nhat ?”
was translated ““What are the most favourite islands, bays and beaches ?” “I wonder if I could translate into “which islands, bays and beaches in Viet Nam which people like to travel best”. But, I think the English version is better because the title is very short, understandable and used noun phrases (it ‘s considered very well for translation). The second, “voi bo bien trai dai 3000 km tu bai bien Tra Co cua tinh Quang Ninh o phia bac den mui ca mau cua tinh ca mau o phia cuc Nam, Viet nam co nhieu dao, vinh va bai bien , bao gom nhung noi heo lanh va lang man van hung noi noi tieng va soi dong” translated into “Viet nam’s 3000 kilometre coastline strechtes from Tra Co beach in the northern province of Quang Ninh ti Ca Mau Cape in Viet Nam’s southern-most province of Ca Mau and includes island, bays and beaches that range from the secluded and romantic to the popular and sporty why can we translate into “ with the 3000 kilometre coastline stretch…Ca Mau Cape , Viet Nam has a lot of islands, bays and beaches including the secluded ( or remote) and sporty scenes. I don’t know I can change it and which is better. However, the English version was shortened with suitable and firmed noun-phrases which help readers understand easily. Sometimes, we have to arrange the order of sentences in Vietnamese into English version. This help readers feel well and comfortable . But, if there are a lot of order of sentences ( or meaning of the passage ) are changed , I would like to know if it make readers confused and they are difficult to remember the content of the passage which need to be translated. the last sentence “Nhung bai bien noi tieng duoc ua thich la Tra Co, Non Nuoc, Dai Lanh, Nha Trang, Mui Ne , Hon Rom va Vung Tau”. I think it is very good.
In brief, the English version of the passage is a good translated version. It was used lot of noun phrases for translation which this help readers like to read and understand the passage easily.
Please tell me if I can replace the word “secluded” into “remote” and “popular” into “famous” because I read in some books, “famous” is better than “popular” and I also use famous to refer well-known and beautiful places.


Translation version from CTU (English version)
http://www.ctu.edu.vn/colleges/law/english/introdution.htm
VIETNAMESE VERSION
“Khoa luat duoc thanh lap vao thang 2 nam 2000 trn co so phat trine tub o mon Luat duoc thanh lap vao thang 9 nam 1998.Khoa luat giu vai tro dao tao nguon nhan luc trinh do cu nhan cho vung Dong Bang Song Cuu Long.Ben canh do, khoa cung thuc hien hinh thuc dao tao, boi duong nang cao trinh do cho can bo,cong chuc duong nhiem mot so tinh. Trong tuong lai gan , khoa se dao tao nguon nhan luc o trinh do thac si Luat. Ben canh nhiem vu dao tao, nhiem vu nghien cuu khoa hoc duoc Khoa rat quan tam.”

ENGLISH VERSION :

The Faculty of Law was founded in February 2000 on the ground of the Law Department founded in September 1998. The Faculty has a role to train Bachelor of Laws for the Mekong River Delta. The Faculty also trains legal officers for some provinces. In the near future the Faculty will train Master of Laws. The Faculty attaches importance to the scientific research.

My comments:

In the first sentence “Khoa luat duoc thanh lap vao thang 2 nam 2000 trn co so phat trine tub o mon Luat duoc thanh lap vao thang 9 nam 1998” also like “The Faculty of Law was founded in February 2000 on the ground of the Law Department founded in September 1998” I think the translator used very simple words and grammar structures. So, the English version is not good and special one. In the whole translated version, the translator didn’t use noun phrases and choose suitable word to make a better one. As a result, the translated version is not good, strong and convinced enough to persuade readers. I think it will be better if we use the word “based on” to replace “ on the ground”. The English version also lack of “phat trien” like Vietnamese passage. Secondly, “giu vai tro chu dao” was translated “has a role” I don’t think it is good. Why we use “play an important role in …”And it made me confused ( I really don’t know how to use “school of” and “faculty”, which is better ?
The last sentence is also not good because it didn’t contain the meaning of all sentences like Vietnamese version.

HO DINH QUOC
7044738
CLASS: A1





Week 3
Page 9,paragraph 2

It is very interesting to read a good translation version from Vietnamese into English . "What is special about visiting the site of Vietnam's nature beauty" is a good example. To compare with " ban thay dieu gi dac biet khi tham canh dep thien nhien viet nam ?" I wonder if why the translator used preposition "about" instead of "when" to change into "what is special for tourists when visiting the sites of Vietnam's natural beauty". I would like to know which is better and why the word "ban" in Vietnamese was not translated in english version.The first sentence, the structure used with noun-phrases is very good, Viet nam is a long "S" shape-country bordering the Eastern Sea." It is Ok when used adjective "long" for "trai dai". But, I think, if we use "spread" to refer "trai dai", the translated version will be better and the word "bordering" can be replaced by "located" ? secondly, It is very difficult to transform exact meaning of the second sentence into English because of dialect words. But, the translator was intelligent to choose suitable words to show efficient meaning into English version. However, the structure of the sentence is very ambitious, this makes me quite confused to understand the whole meaning of sentence. The author of the translation version add "in the northern" (o phia bac) and "in the southern (o phia nam) which I think it is not necessary to lengthen the sentence like that in the third sentence of English one. The fourth sentence is quite good and this makes readers understand the third sentence above clearly. In the fifth sentence, I feel "passive-aggressive" to accept the ways of using words of the translator. I mean It should be replaced "land protection" into "country protection" it will be better and stronger than "land" to shoe the strong spirit of fighting to protect country of Vietnamese. The long sentence used only by one verb, but you think "extends" and "exist" which is better to use for a good sentence? Finally, why didn't the translator use "custom" to show "tap tuc, tap quan" instead of "practices"?.
In general, the English version is quite good. It's easy to understand the passage with the whole meaning from Vietnamese version. The structure of sentence and grammar are also suitable for all of English learners. However, I still have some problems I haven't understood which I showed above. I would like you to explain and tell me precious advice for good translation version.
Thank you very much.


Introduction of Cantho university (resource: http://www.ctu.edu.vn/english/introduction/index.htm)
VIETNAMESE VERSION:
Trong nhung nam qua , nhieu chinh sach cua Dang van ha nuoc da tac dong tich cuc lam doit hay lon ve san xuat va phat tren nong nghiep o DBSCL mang lai su thich vuong chung cho nhieu van de ve co so ly luan va thuc tien khoa hoc, viec quy hoach chien luoc phat trien cua vung dat ran hung cau hoi buc bach choc ac nha khoa hoc va chinh quyen cac cap tham gia nghien cuu, ly giai nham dau tu khai thac vas u dung co hieu qua nguon nhan luc va tai nguyen phong phu, da dang cua vung dai hoc can tho co so dao tao dai hoc va sau dai hoc trong diem cua nha nuoc o DBSCL la trung tam van hoa khoa hoc ky thuat cua vung. Truong da khong ngung hoan thien va phat trien tu mot so it nghanh dao tao ban dau, truong da cung co va phat trien thanh mot truong da nghanh da linh vuc. Hien nay, truong dao tao 47 chuyen nghanh dai hoc, 15 chuyen nghanh cao hoc va 5 chuyen nghanh nghien cuu sinh . Nhiem vu chinh cua truong la dao tao, nghien cuu khoa hoc , chuyen giao cong nghe phuc vu phat trien kinh te xa hoi trong vung. Song song voi cong tac dao tao, DHCT da tham gia tich cuc cac chuong trinh NCKH ung dung nhung thanh thanh tuu khoa hoc ky thuat nahm giai quyet cac van de khoa hoc, cong nghe, kinh te, van hoa cua vung. Tu nhung ket qua cua cac cong trinh nghien cuu khoa hoc va hop tac quoc te, truong da tao ra nhieu san pham , quy trinh cong nghe phuc vu san xuat ra, doi song va xuat khau, tao duoc uy tin tren thi truong trong nuoc va quoc te.DHCT tranh thus u hop tac tich cuc cua chinh quyen dia Phuong DBSCL trong cac linh vuc dao tao , hop tac quoc te , khoa hoc ky thuat va chuyen giao cong nghe.truong da mo rong quan he hop tac khoa hoc ky thuat voi nhieu to chucquoc te truong dai hoc va vien nghien cuu tren the gioi. Thong qua cac chuong trinh hop tac, nang luc quan ly va chuyen mon cua doi ngu can bo duoc nang cao, co so vat chat trang thiet bi thi nghiem, tai lieu thong tin khoa hoc cung duoc bo sung

English version:
Over the past few years, many policies of the Communist Party and the Government have resulted in big changes to agricultural production and development in the Mekong Delta, bringing about prosperity to the whole region. Entering the new millennium, with the urgent need for national industrialization and modernization, the regional scientists and authorities are required to explore issues related to the rationale, scientific practice, and strategic plans for the region's development in order to invest, exploit, and bring into full use the region's rich and diverse human and natural resources.
Can Tho University (CTU), an important state higher education institution in the Mekong Delta, is the cultural, scientific and technical center of the Mekong Delta. Since its foundation in 1966, CTU has been improving and developing itself. From a university with a few fields of study at the beginning, it has developed into a multidisciplinary university. At the moment, it has 47 undergraduate, 15 Masters, and 5 Doctoral training programs.
CTU's main missions are training, conducting scientific research, and transferring technology to serve the region's socio-economic development. In addition to its training responsibilities, CTU has actively taken part in scientific research projects, applying the scientific and technological achievements to solve problems related to science, technology, economics, culture and society in the region. Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects, the university has developed a variety of products and technological production processes for the benefit of people's lives and the promotion of export, helping the University gain prestige on the national and international markets.
CTU has also received strong support from the authorities of the twelve provinces in the Mekong Delta in areas such as training, scientific and technological cooperation and transfer. The University has extended scientific and technological cooperation with many international organizations, universities and research institutes. Thanks to these cooperative projects, the staff's administrative capacity and specializations have been upgraded, and facilities, experimental tools and scientific materials have been added.

My comment:

In INTRODUCTION of Cantho University. The English version is quite good with the good and understandable structure of sentence, especially exact meaning of the version which the translator transformed by using noun-phrase. However, some words are not good and suitable one and the translator didn't express points like Vietnamese version. In the first sentense, the translator replaced the verb "co" in Vietnamese into the preposition "with" in English. I agree with him (the translator) because Mekong delta is a noun which refer to thing, we can not use "co" like Vienamese version.If we don't use prweposition " with" I wonder if would be right and better.Using "basket" in "rice basket" to refer "vua lua" is not good.why don't we replace into " rice store"? I think it will be better to express the important role of Mekong Delta".The translator is very good at transforming the richness of the Mekong dleta in next sentences.In "Over the past few years, many policies of the Communist Party and the Government have resulted in big changes to agricultural production and development in the Mekong Delta , bringing about prosperity to the whole region. Entering the new millennium, with the urgent need for national industrialization and modernization, the regional scientists and authorities are required to explore issues related to the rationale, scientific practice, and strategic plans for the region's development in order to invest, exploit, and bring into full use the region's rich and diverse human and natural resources.",he is quite confused to keep the order of the strings of sentences understandably. It is very ambitious for readers to understand ". “Tu nhung ket qua cua cac cong trinh nghien cuu khoa hoc va hop tac quoc te " which translator didn't transform efficient meaning when he used into "Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects, the university has developed a variety of products and technological production processes for the benefit of people's lives and the promotion of export, helping the University gain prestige on the national and international markets" because we can not use "Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects" to refer "
In general, This is the best version which I have ever seen in the cantho university's website. Other English version of many faculties is not condensed and it was very ambitious to understand because many words were not chosen suitably. This makes readers confused to comprehend the whole version. I hope you will agree with my ideas when you visit the website of CanTho University (in English version).
Thank you very much.



Week 6
PARAGRAPH 23, PAGE 25
In my opinion, this is a translated version which the translator transformed quite sufficient content from the Vietnamese version by smooth and understandable clauses. However, some of words used which should be replaced. For example, “cac nha dau tu” I think it should be “investors” instead of “developers” because “investor” will be better very much than “developer” in the context of this passage. In addition, the translator is not very clever to turn clauses into noun-phrase to bring to readers a short and understandable translated version. To compare with the Vietnamese version, he translated word by word, sentence by sentence with detailed meaning of the version. So, the translated version seems be longer with many verbs. Furthermore, we can say “tang lop thuong luu” with many statementS like “upper strata, upperclass; upper stratum; upper background; upper walk of life” so I don’t know which word is the best to use for this context. Finally, “mot song bac huong ra phia ngon hai dang tren dao Hon Dau cach bo bien 4 km” translated into “a casino with a view of the Hon Dau lighthouse four kilometers out to the sea which I see that it is not really good because of using ambiguous noun-phrase.
In general, the translation is quite understandable and it transform the whole meaning of the Vietnamese version exactly. But it still exists some limited to become an excellent translation version.


HUONG DAN LUYEN DICH VIET ANH
TRAN TRI THIEN- NHA XUAT BAN THANH NIEN
VIETNAMESE VERSION
Tai cua ngo Dong Bac Thanh Pho Ho Chi Minh, voi dien tich gan 11000 m2 ben canh bo song Tac, co khu du lich sinh thai Vuon co. Vuon co thuoc ap Go Cong, Phuong Long Thanh My, quan 9, nam trong mot quan the du lich gom: lang ca be , cu lao Ong Dia , chua Hoi Son va vuon cay an trai ven song Tac. Hang ngay co gan 10.000 con co hoi tu ve day voi nhieu chung loai (co minh den canh trang, co mo vang, co ca…)

English version
At the North-Eastern gateway of Ho Chi Minh City is Vuon Co (Stork Sanctuary) ecotourism spot on an area of over 11000 square meters by the Tac river in Go Cong hamlet, Long Thanh My Ward, District 9 in a tourist complex including: the fish in cage village, Ong Dia Islet, Hoi Son pagoda and the fruit tree gardens along the Tac river. Everyday there are about 10000 storks of differences species (storks with black bodies and white wings, yellow-biiled storks, fish storks…) gathering here.

This is a quite good translated version of the translator Tran Tri Thien. The translation transformed the whole meaning of the Vietnamese version by understandable and exact
noun-phrases. Especially, he combined two first sentences to become one in the English version which makes the passage seems shorter and better than the base one so that we could emphasize the natural beauty of Vuon Co (Stork Sanctuary) ecotourism spot. Next sentences are also very good and understandable with using the suitable words to describe the beauty of various species of storks. But, I don’t know whether it was exact scientific name.
the translation is quite good , smooth and understandable. However, some of dialects which I don’t know if he translated exactly such as “lang ca be(cage fishing village);quan the (Population; community); du lich sinh thai (green tourism; ecotourism)…would you please look for this matter.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Thank you very much.

HO DINH QUOC
7044738
GROUP 1
DINHQUOC1985@GMAIL.COM

hac............ said...

HUYNH TO NUONG
7044737
CLASS1 COURSE 30
EMAIL:jennyhuynha16@yahoo.com


WEEk 2:
paragraph 46 on page 41

There are some points that I don’t agree with the translated text or the English text.

“…as they look for a partner”: In the Vietnamese translation, people don’t care much about plural nouns, so when they wrote “ban tinh”, they means “partners” or “nhung nguoi ban tinh”. There are two ways to rewrite this sentence:
“…as they look for partners.
…as he or she looks for a partner.”
Therefore, “they” and “partners” or “he/she” and “a partner” should be used to make them in an agreement.

“…to meet again”: In the original text, the author wrote “hen gap lai nhau”, but in the translated one they wrote “meet again” . It is unclear enough for readers to understand that people there all knew each other, and that they promised to meet each other again, not to meet other people due to the word “nhau”.
It can be added and rewritten to be more meaningful : “…to meet each other again at the next…”.

Further reading:
Tôi đi học
Thanh Tịnh
“Hằng năm cứ vào cuối thu, lá ngoài đường rụng nhiều và trên không có những đám mây bàng bạc, lòng tôi lại nao nức nhũng kỉ niệm hoang mang của buổi tựu trường. Tôi quên thế nào được những cảm giác trong sáng ấy nảy nở trong lòng tôi như mấy cánh hoa mỉm cười giữa bầu trời quang đãng”.

“Every year, towards the end of Autumn, when the yellow leaves fall down too much to the roads and up above there gather whitish clouds in the sky, my heart is excited with the confused memories of the first day at school. How can I forget those bright feelings that blossomed in my heart like some fresh flowers smiling under the clear sky.”
(109 bài Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hậu, NXB Trẻ TPHCM)


The translated text sounds Vietnamese.When translating any Vietnamese text, we should pay attention to the content or the situation. Here the author seemed to focus on the meaning of the words, so he translated words by words. In my opinion, there are some mistakes which make the audiences confused.
“… fall down too much”: The writer meant a lot of yellow leaves, so we have to write “…so many yellow leaves fall down”. I prefer using “dead leaves” to “yellow leaves” because “yellow leaves” is ambigious.
“…to the roads”: In my opinion, it is better to write “…onto the roads”. When dead leaves feel down, they laid on the ground. As a result, the ground was covered by leaves and the writer could see the scenery which was full of dead leaves.
“how can I forget…the clear sky”: In the original text, the author wanted to show his affection and his feeling about the first day he went to school. He didn’t mean a question. However, in the translated text, the translator used a question but without a question mark at the end. This point is unreasonable.

WEEK 3:
Paragraph 12 on page 17

This paragraph decribes Ha Long Bay as a paradise on the earth. There is one sentence I really like because the translator used words creatively, “as summer approaches, they appear to awaken in unison and rise from the blue depths”. He used “in unison” instead of “together”. It made the readers more imagine about the beauty: all islands appear to awaken suddenly at the same time, not individually.
However, there are 2 points, I think, that made the readers confused. So, they may lose the readers interest a little bit. The first one is “snowy flowers” to mean “những bông hoa trắng như tuyết”. It is not suitable. Therefore, it should be rewritten like “….with flowers which are as white as snow” because “snow “refers to the weather, not color. The second one is the verb “feels“. I disagree with this word because it is used for human being’s senses. The translator should replace by “seems to be”.

Further reading:
AM NHAC
(Lan Khai)

Âm nhac là một trong những các môn cần dùng trong sự giáo dục của một dân tộc văn minh. Không nói gì ở các nước Âu châu người ta chú trọng đến âm nhạctrong khi dạy dỗ dân chúng; ngay bên Á đông mình, thánh hiền xưa cũng dành cho âm nhạc một địa vị quan trọng ngang với văn cương và chính trị.

Music is one of the subjects necessary for the education of a civilized people. Without speaking of European countries where people attach much importance to music white teaching men; in our very East Asia , the saints and sages of yore reserved an importance position for it on the same footing as literature and politics.
(109 bài Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hậu, NXB Trẻ TPHCM)

In general, the translated text is not good. It sounds Vietnamese and usage is not appropriate. The 1St sentence is grammatically wrong, it should be “ music is one of the subjects which is necessary for the education of civilized people.”
“Without speaking of European countries “ is a little bit strange in term of meaning. In the original text, the author means in the fact that European countries have done that for a very long time. So, the translator must use “undeniably”.
And the last idea is muddled, and the phrase “ for it on the same footing” is unnecessary. It’s simply written like “the saints and sages considered its role and position to be as important as literature and politics.”

WEEK 4:
Paragraph 154 on page 115:
There are 2 points which should be mentioned in the translated text.
Firstly, in general, the English text is clear enough for readers to understand. Moreover, the phrase “at that very moment” instead of “at the moment” shows the translator’s creativity. It is very close in meaning to “Ngay luc do”. In addition, it is rather strange to readers. So, it may make them more enjoy reading it.
Secondly, “…and fell into a deep sleep, unaware of…” I think it is not clear. A series of verbs “entered, found, lay, fell” appear and then an adjective alone. It should be “…, was unaware of..”.

Further reading:
Vườn Hoa Đà Lạt
Với lễ Giáng Sinh đang tới gần, vườn hoa Đà Lạt sẽ thu hút nhiều du khách hơn nữa. Ngoài việc tiếp đón du khách tại vườn ra, công ty vườn hoa Đà Lạt sẽ sẵn sàng thõa mãn những yêu cầu của dân chúng về hoa, cỏ và việc trồng cây cảnh. Năm 1993, công ty vườn hoa Đà Lạt hy vọng kiếm được một doanh thu trên một tỷ đồng.

Christmas is drawing near, DaLat Flower Gardens will embrace much more tourists. Apart from receiving at the gardens, DaLat Flower Gardens Co. is willing to satisfy the people’s needs for flowers, grass and the growing of ornamental tress. In 1993, the DaLat Flower Garden hoped to earn a turnover of over VND 1 billion.”
(109 bài Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hậu, NXB Trẻ TPHCM)

My comment:
I think the translator’s word choice is not very good. Some grammar points are not appropriate.
“much more tourists” should be “many more tourists.” Because “tourists” is a countable noun.
“Apart from” : the author means “beside”, so we use “beside”.
“receiving at…” lacking of an object makes readers confused. It should be “receiving tourists at…”.


WEEK 6:
Paragraph 88 on page 71:

In general, the English text is good, but there is one difference between the original text and the translated one.
The author wrote “Những người bán hàng rong đội nón, ngồi dưới đất”. The comma shows that there are 2 actions “wear” and “sit”.But the translator translated “vendors in conical-palm hats sit on the ground”. There is only one action “sit”.
In theVietnamese text, readers can understand that some people wear hats, other sit on the ground because of the comma. In the English one, readers may understand that some peole who wear hats sit on the ground.
This point makes the readers confused, and makes the sentence ambiguous.

Further Reading:
Để bước vào năm 2020 thành công, cách chuẩn bị hánh trang tốt nhất là tu dưỡng và học tập, tu dưỡng tư cách đạo đức để làm người, học văn hóa để biết sống văn minh , học khoa học công nghệ để lao động giỏi. Học trong nhà trường, học trong lao động, học trong xã hội, học thầy. học bạn, học đồng nghiệp, tự học, học nữa học mãi.

To enter the year 2020 successfully, self-improvement and study are the best ways of preparation. We self-improve our dignity to behave in a humanly way. We study culture to live in a civilized way. We study science and industry to work excellently. Study in schools, in society, in social activities. Study from teachers, friends and colleagues. Self-study!Continuously study!Study forever!

My comment:
There are some words which should be written because of inappropriate word choices such as “study” (studying), and “industry” (technology).
“science and industry” doesn’t really mean “khoa học công nghệ” so it should be written.
“Study in schools, in society, in social activities. Study from teachers, friends and colleagues. Self-study!Continuously study!Study forever!” , these sentences were translated differently from the original text. In the original one, they are complete sentences. They should be “Studying takes place at schools, through work, through society, through social activities, from teachers, friends and colleagues, by self studying and studying more and forever.

myxuyen said...

WEEK 2
Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Par.73.page 61

In my opinion, the English version is rather good when translating from Vietnamese text to English text. If there is not the handout, perhaps I don’t know how to translate a good paragraph like this. Moreover, I think the translator is also skillful and talented because he /she knows how to arrange words and choose which words are suitable for using in sentences. For example, in the first sentence: “Nằm về phía đông nam và cách miền Nam Việt Nam 200 km” is translated by “situated 200km southeast of southern Vietnam”. The sentence is clear and easy for readers to understand and recognize. However, some details in the English version also make me feel embarrassed and confused about the way to choose which one to be translated first or not. Comparing between 2 texts, we can see the reverse that the translator uses in his translation. The second sentence maybe an example: “ Nếu đến đảo Côn Sơn(đảo lớn nhất trong quần đảo) bằng máy bay trực thăng du khách sẽ thấy những cánh rừng nhiệt đới phong phú, các bãi biển trắng dài và những dải san hô ngầm” are translated by “ rich tropical forests, long white beaches, and coral reefs greet visitors arriving by helicopter at Con Son island, the largest in the archipelago.”I think this way of translation is not easy for readers or viewers to follow because the details are reversed. In addition, in English version, we see that no parenthesis appears but there are two parenthesis in the Vietnamese version. I also wonder maybe this is not important to use parenthesis any more to express that ideas.
Thank to the handout, if there is not the handout, maybe I never know how to express the last sentence. We can see the difference between 2 versions clearly. But I think in the English one, there is a little bit lacking of the ideas that the Vietnamese version contain: “Du khách sẽ đi ngang qua” but this is not translated in English version. Sometimes the laking of subject will make us feel embarrassed to recognize the details clearly. Even though the English translation is good and so smooth, it is still not parallel between 2 versions
In general, I agree and I will keep some sentences in English version. In addition, if I have a chance to translate them again, I will translate the second sentence like this: “When arriving to Con Son Island (the largest one in the archipelago) by using helicopter, visitor will see the rich tropical forest, long white beaches and coral reef".

Actually, through this translation, I get a lot experiences in my study, especially translation course. It can help me to improve my translation a lot and even help me to give some comments to any translation that I never think that I can do before

ENGLISH TEXT
LĂNG CHỦ TỊCH HỒ CHÍ MINH
Lăng Chủ Tịch Hồ Chí Minh được xây dựng ở Quãng Trường Ba Đình, Hà Nội. Hà Nội là đất ngàn năm văn vật. Quãng Trường Ba Đình là nơi Chủ Tịch Hồ Chí Minh đọc bản tuyên ngôn độc lập và khai sinh ra nước Việt Nam Dân Chủ Cộng Hòa vào ngày 2- 9 1945, nay là nước Cộng Hòa Xã Hội Chủ Nghĩa Việt Nam.
Lăng chủ tịch Hồ chí Minh là công trình của cả nước. Là biểu tượng của Hà Nội, của Tổ Quốc trong kỉ nguyên mới. Đặc biệt nhất là chân lí: “Không có gì quý hơn độc lập, tự do” được khắc trên lăng.

ENGLISH TEXT
President Ho Chi Minh’s mausoleum
President Ho Chi Minh was built on the Ba Dinh Square, Ha Noi. Ha Noi has been the land of a thousand years of culture. Ba Dinh Square was the place where President Ho Chi Minh read the Declaration of Independence on the 2nd September 1945 and founded the Democratic Republic of Viet Nam, which is the socialist of Republic of Viet Nam today.
President ho Chi Minh’s mausoleum is the work of all the country. It is a symbol of Ha Noi, of our nation in a new era. Especially, the saying of the truth: “Nothing is more precious than independence and freedom” inscribed on the stele of the mausoleum.
(120 bai luyen dich Viet –Anh)
My comment

In my opinion, the English translation is so completed and so clear with the simple structure so that the readers can understand easily. In addition, the translation is also smooth in expressing the meaning that the Vietnamese text contains. However, there are still some mistakes that I think never to be tolerated easily. They are really the big mistakes. For example, the first sentence : “Lăng Chủ Tịch Hồ Chí Minh được xây dựng ở Quãng trường Ba Đình Hà Nội” are translated by “President Ho Chi Minh was built on the Ba Dinh Square, Ha Noi.” If you are hurry and just look a little, maybe you never discover the wrong thing in this sentence. The English sentence lacks of “mausoleum”, and so the sentence “President Ho Chi Minh was built …” is just a crazy sentence. In addition, the translator maybe has the danger with this because he talks something relates to Ho Chi Minh, the greatest person of the Nation. Furthermore, “văn vật” are translated by “culture”. The two words “văn vật” are so hard to understand. They maybe something, some objects relate to culture. So, I think the translator use “culture” to replace for “văn vật” is not enough. In addition, I think that there is something wrong with the Vietnamese text in using words such as “ngàn năm văn vật”. Frequently, we just use “ngàn năm văn hiến”. So, I think the translator also feel confused and finally decide to choose “culture”. And I think “culture” is simple and close to readers to think, to know. By anyway, it’s still not enough. Finally, one more point that I do not agree is that the word choice of the translator. “Là công trình của cả nước” are translated by “the work of all the country” are not parallel. “All the country” are not clearly enough because the readers will confuse about which country? Or where? If the don’t read the Vietnamese text. So, using “all” here is not suitable. In my opinion, it should be replace by “the whole”. So, the sentence will be “the work of the whole country”.
Through this translation, I get a lot of useful experiences for my study, and one lesson that I have that : translation will be good and acceptable if the translator is skillful at word- choosing and the carefulness is always necessary.
LE THI MY XUYEN
CLASS 01- 7044746
Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com
Week 6
Par.126, page 97
When comparing between the Vietnamese text and the English text, I think that the English text is so good and smooth in expressing what the Vietnamese one has. However, there are some points that I do not agree. We can see the first sentence: “khu vực này nằm ở phía Bắc và cách Đà Lạt 12 km” are translated by “this are twelve kilometers north of Da Lat”. We can see clearly that the English sentence lacks of main verb. “Nằm” is not translated. If I have a chance to translate, I will translate like this: “This area situates 12 kilometers on the North of Da Lat ..etc.” Besides, “ở đây” and “nơi đây” appear in the Vietnamese text but there is nothing in the English one. I think the translator shouldn’t quit them because “ở đây” and “nơi đây” will clarify the sentences more. For example, “cư dân ở đây thuộc các dân tộc Lạt, Chil, và Mạ Cư” are translated by “Residents belongs to the Lat, Chil, and Ma ethnic minority groups”. In my opinion, the translator should add the word “here” into the sentence so that the readers can recognize where it belong to (Lam Vien Plateau and Lang Bian Moutain). In addition, the translator adds “the minority groups” into the sentences. I think this way is also good because it help us have more the understanding and knowing of these ethnic.
So, finally I think the English text is rather good and acceptable. It could be more effective if the translator know how to develop the good point and control the weak point. This is also my lesson that I get from this translation .

VIETNAMESE TEXT
QUÝ THỜI GIỜ
Trăm năm kể cũng lâu, nhưng thấm thoát cũng chẳng được là bao. Đời người, phần ngồi rỗi ăn dưng thì nhiều, phần làm viêc chẳng có mấy. Lúc còn bé, ngây thơ, chưa biết lo nghĩ, lúc già, sức yếu hay có tính chán nản, cái tuổi cường trán có thể gánh vác nổi công việc, thì chỉ độ chừng vài mươi năm. Thế mà nhiều người rông dài nay đây mai đó, gặp đâu là nhà, ngả đâu là giường, việc ở gần, có mắt như không thấy, việc ở xa, có tai như không nghe thấy. Họ chỉ nghĩ đến ăn ngon mặc đẹp, ngủ kĩ cho qua ngày tháng.Rút cục từ thuở nhỏ cho đến lúc bạc đầu, họ chẳng làm được công trạng gì cả.Những hạng người như thế thật không biết quý giá trị của thời giờ.

TIME IS PRECIOUS
One hundreds year is rather a long period, but as time passing gradually we haven’t got much of it. A man’s life, the part that we spend for idle things is more than the one that we spend for work. When young, we were naïve, not knowing of thinking, when old, we are weak and not discouraged, the active and energetic period that we can undertake difficult tasks just about some tens of years. Yet, many people are wandering about everywhere that they come is their house, everything that they lie on is their bed, things new to them, they won’t see, things far to them, they won’t hear. They are only thinking of good food, nice clothes, sound sleep and pleasures to pass the time. Eventually, from their youth to the time when their hair is white, they can achieve no merit. People as such never know the value of time.

MY COMMENT

Comparing between the Vietnamese text and the English text, I think that the English text is clearer and simpler. I also think that most of the sentences in the English text influence the Vietnamese way ( word- by –word translation), for example, “luc con be, ngay tho, chua biet nghi;luc gia, suc yeu, hay co tinh chan nan…etc” are translated by “when young, we were naïve, not knowing of thinking; when old, we are weak, and easily discourage…etc”. The English sentence just focus on meaning, and it does not focus on grammar because its grammar is wrong. In addition, “the ma” are translated by “yet”(tuy nhien). I think this is not suitable because “the ma” express something happen that you know the event but finally, it does not happen as you want. But “yet” does not express suitably the meaning of “the ma’. However, I still like it more than the Vietnamese version because it gives me a clearer version than Vietnamese one. I think the using of words in Vietnamese text is so hard, unclear. Some words or phrases that I do not know how to express. So, thank to the handout, I can get more expression that I never know before. For example, “rông dài”; “gặp đâu là nhà;ngả đâu là giường”; “rút cục”; “công trạng”..etc. These words are so strange and sound as slang words that Vietnamese people often use to speak in daily conservation. In general, I think that the English version is so clever in using translation words. So, I think this not only makes me but also readers feel easy to understand and to recognize.
Through these two texts, I get a lesson for my translation that : “the translation from Vietnamese to English will be easier and better if the Vietnamese texts become clear in using expression, and the avoiding using slang words is also necessary.
(120 BAI LUYEN DICH VIET ANH)
LE THI MY XUYEN
Class 01- 7044746
Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com

Duy said...

I have received the Week 5 approved assignment. So i am posting week 6, week 4, week 3 and week 2 assignment.

Week 6
Assignment 1 – Paragraph 54 – Page 47

This is a well-translated selection because of word choice as well as structure forming. The first Vietnamese sentence is such a complicated one since it contains many phases that modify other phrases. “Náu mình trong một con vịnh” modifies “thị trấn Cát Bà” when “thuyền bè đánh cá đủ màu” modifies “con vịnh”. It’s very easy for an amateur translator to write in run-on language. The translator has his own way by replacing all relative clauses by the past participle. “Cat Ba Town nestled around a bay filled with colorful fishing boats”. This way really makes the translated sentence smoother. The second sentence is translated with the skill of structure forming. In the original text, the writer used he desperate phrases “ven hai bên đường” before “”là các khách sạn và nhà hàng hiếu khách” which are totally difficult to be translated. And the translator was really skilled when he changed the position of these two phrases. As a result, we have “Friendly hotels and restaurant border the promenade”. However, in this sentence, he used the word “friendly” for “hiếu khách” which did not transfer all the idea of the writer. “Hospitable” is considered to be more acceptable. The last sentence is good because the translator had changed the active form for “buổi chiều đầu tiên du khách nên ” into the passive form “the first afternoon is best spent”. This way aims to emphasize the necessary of the afternoon in Cat Ba and reduce unnecessary details.

Assignment 2 – Paragraph 19 – Practice in Vietnamese – English Translation – Nguyen Thanh Duc

Lương cao, môi trường làm việc rộng, nhiều thách đố, Giao tế nhân sự quả thật là một nghề hiện đại thích hợp với các bạn trẻ có chí cầu tiến. Song thiết nghĩ, để GTNS được thừa nhận và hoạt động một các hợp pháp cũng rất cần sự quan tâm, định hướng và giúp đỡ phát triển của các ngành chức năng.

High salary, large working environment with much challenging, PR’s could be really a modern career, appropriate to the youths being eager for advanced spirit. However, to my mind, in order to be recognized and legally executed, it can also need the concern, orientation and development assistance of many functional organs.

This is really an awful translated selection with terrible word choice and grammar. In the first sentence, with the aim to shorten it, the translator intended to reduce the subject “PR”. However, he used the wrong structure by reducing the main verb. It should be translated as “bringing high salary….” Or “being a job with high salary…”. Secondly, there is a problem in “PR’s could be…”. Two main verbs in a clause make the sentence look ridiculous. Thirdly, the phrase “a really modern career, appropriate to the youths being eager for advanced spirit” needs reconsidering. By using the comma, he again intended to reduce the verb. However, an adjective can not be in that position. “A really modern career which is appropriate …” is more okay. Furthermore, “the youths being eager for…” should be replaced by “the young people who are eager for …” .

The second sentence is also very badly-translated. In a formal selection, the objective ideas should be limited. It’s not good to use “to my mind” here. Moreover, in the next phrase “in order to be recognized and legally executed”, there is the problem of word agreement. When using the word “end”, we should make some arrangement so that what is before and after “end” can be in the same part of speech. “Recognized” and “executed” share the same characteristic as the past-participle. However, in this situation, “executed” is not acceptable because PR can also execute by itself. It’s no need to use it as the past-participle. It should be “in order to be recognized and allowed to execute or operate”. Finally, the word choice is so terrible. The word “organ” is usually used to indicate the parts of the body. In this situation, it is ridiculous to use it and can make the reader laugh out loud. “Department” the the best choice.

Week 3

Assignment Week 3 – Paragraph 92 – Page 75

This translation is neutral. I mean in some details, it is good and in other details, it is not. My comments are about to tell the good ones first and the worse later.

The first translated sentence shows the word-choosing-skill of the translator. In the Vietnamese original paragraph, the writer used the word “gọi là “Thành phố của mùa xuân bất tử”. If I were the translator, I will used the word “be called” instead of “be referred” as the real translator did. At first, I felt rather strange because “referred” is not related somehow to “gọi”. However, after reading carefully, I discovered that, using “referred” here is better and more English. It is more professional of course. The second sentence was another example of word-choosing-skill. “The rainy season FALLS between …” is really nice. By using the word “falls”, the translator had vanish the fence between the original and translated paragraph.

Secondly, the translator also knows where the form should be changed. The clause “Lượng mưa trung bình hàng năm là 1.755m” was changed into a phrase “with an average annual rainfall of 1.755m” between two commas. It was really a smart choice. The translator would like to reduce the unnecessary length of the text. He is also very skillful because of no repetition. When he wanted to infer “mùa khô là từ tháng…”, he did not use the word “falls” again. It shows that he was very careful in translating.

However, sometimes, the translator still had some problem in changing the Vietnamese into English. For example, the word “núi đồi” in the 4th paragraph. This is such a compound noun in Vietnamese that means mountains and hills. But the translator just used the word mountain. Moreover, he had over simplified. That the “light mist” “làm mầu mỡ những cánh đồng dưới thung lũng”. Using “fertile valley field” did not seem to be acceptable here.

However, in general, the translator did good job. He made the translated paragraph more English. I feel it is really good, touchable and somehow catchy.

Further reading

Không bao lâu sau thời khắc đặc biệt ấy, cha tôi may mắn thoát khỏi tay tử thần sau một ca phẫu thuật tim. Kể từ đấy, nhiều lần tôi tự nhắn nhủ với lòng rằng: “Nếu lần ấy tôi không chủ động nói với cha và cha không qua được ca phẫu thuật, thì chắc tôi sẽ phải hối hận vì chẳng còn cơ hội nào để tôi được “nghe thấy” một tình yêu.”

A short while after this special moment, my father fortunately escaped death following heart surgery. Many times since, I have pondered the thought, if that time I did not take the first step and Dad did not survive the surgery, maybe I extremely regret because I would have never “heard” the love.

This is not a good translation selection with bad word choice and bad structure forming. The term “thoát khỏi tay tử thần sau ca phẩu thuật tim” was translated into “escaped death following heart surgery”. The word “escaped” itself means run away from something. The father in this situation can not run away from the death. It’s better to use “survive” instead. I discover one more bad point, that is “survive the surgery”. The term seem to be non-sense. No one say “survive the surgergy” for “qua được ca phẫu thuật”. However, this is a rather touchy story. If you follow all the path of it, the translation selection can be acceptable.

Week 2

When I see the first sentence in Vietnamese, it take some minutes to hesitate on how to transfer it into English. The translator was very skillful to rearrange the order of the word. In the original paragraph, it says: “ Bãy Cháy là một bãi biển nhân tạo lớn dài 500m và rộng 100m nằm cạnh vịnh Hạ Long”. The translator then arranged again. He brought the term “nằm cạnh vịnh Hạ Long” after “bãi biển nhân tạo lớn”. Moreover, he put the term “bãi biển nhân tạo lớn nằm cạnh vịnh Hạ Long” between two commas in oder to support to the main subject “Bãi Cháy”. And here comes the result which look very professionally: “Bãi Cháy, a large artificial beach close to Ha Long Bay, is over 500 meters long and 100 meters wide.

The second sentence in Vietnamese is okie. However, when translating it into English, we may encounter some problems. “ Nhờ có đầu tư của Công ty du lịch Hoàng Gia mà nơi này đã trở nên nổi tiếng.” It is rather complex with a phrase beginning the sentence then lead to the following clause as the result. The translator then make it easy by put all the thing in a sentence with just one clause by making “sự đầu tư của Công ty du lịch Hoàng Gia” the subject → “Hoang Gia Tourism Company’s investment has made the site popular.”

The next translated sentence is considered as the excellent word-choosing ability. For example, “trãi nhựa” is replaced by asphalt and “uốn lượn” is replaced by winds. The sentence seems to be smoother and catchier.

The last sentence is the best one which look professional. When seeing the term “là nơi du khách có thể…”, I immediately think of the adjective clause by using where. However, the translator did not do that. He used the word “provides”. I feel rather satisfied because there are other ways to translate instead of using the stable ones. As the result, the last sentence is so nice: “ Hoang Gia Park on Ha Long Road between Bai Chay Tourist Wraft and Ha Long Night Market provides water-skiing and jet-skiing. → Khu du lịch = Tourism Wharf.

Assignment 2 – Chicken Soup for the Soul – page 50-51

Sau khi đưa hai đứa lớn đến trường, tôi lái xe đến cửa hàng tạp hóa gần đó cùng với hai đứa nhỏ, lạc quan rằng buổi sáng hôm nay có thể suôn sẻ hơn. Tôi mơ tưởng tới một chỗ đậu xe ở ngay phía trước cửa hàng, những cái túi nhựa đựng rau cải được chuẩn bị sẵn sàng, cảnh không phải đợi chờ ở quầy bán thức ăn ngon như thường lệ, đến cả việc giảm giá ở quầy Crystal Light và thuốc nhuộm tóc, rồi một người tính tiền nhanh nhẹn, thân thiện và vui vẻ chấp nhận phiếu ưu đãi mua hàng vừa mới hết hạn của tôi… Một ngày bắt đầu như thế thì còn gì hơn?

After dropping off the two elder children, I headed to the nearby grocery store with the two smaller children, optimistic that the morning could only get better. I daydreamed about a parking space right in front, plastic vegetable bags that open, no-wait deli counters as usual, sales on Crystal Light and hair color, and a checkout person who is fast, friendly, and pleased with my just-expired coupons. What better it can be?

Comments:
This piece of translation is not so good. The way they translated the original Vietnamese writing is just the grammatical translation. For example we can see the two first sentences of the two pieces of writing. It was translated quite exactly the same as the structure of the original one with the same format. However, the word choice is okay with a various new word but suitable to the context.

Week 4

The Vietnamese selection was translated rather well. The translator was skilled at structure forming by simplifying the two first Vietnamese sentences into only one sentence. Instead of using “Bãi biển” again in the second sentence, he used to short-formed relative clause. The phrase “known during the American War as “China Beach” modifies “Non Nuoc Beach”. As a result, it is no need to use “Bãi Biển” again as the subject of a newly-formed sentence. The second sentence of the translated selection, however, is good for choosing appropriate words. “Nước của bãi biển này trong nổi tiếng” is considered as an easy-to-be-translated into English like “the water here is famous for being clean”. However, “being clean” was replaced by “its clarity”. It really makes sense when being read. Furthermore, in the third sentence, the author use the past simple through “đã” which is easy to be misunderstood. However, the translator is good enough to be able to distinguish the difference between the Vietnamese and English context. He used “cultivate” and “harvest” in the present tense. The last sentences reshow us the translator’s skill of structure forming by mixing two last sentence into one.

Assignment 2 – Paragraph 18 – Page 28 – Practice V-E Translation 1 – Nguyen Thanh Duc

Mặt khác, để thành công trong thời đại toàn cầu hoá, bạn trẻ cần trang bị ngay từ bây giờ một khà năng mà tiếng Anh gọi là blobal literacy, tạm dịch là khả năng hiểu biết toàn cầu. Khà năng này gồm năng lực ngoại ngữ, năng lực sử dụng công nghệ thông tin, và hiểu biết những nước có quan hệ mật thiết với mình, với công việc chuyên môn của mình

On the other hand, to be successful in the time of globalization, youngsters nowadays should get preparation for the capacity called “global literacy” which is provisionally translated as the ability of global understanding. This competence includes competence of foreign language, competence of information technology usage to approach and analyze information and cultural understanding of countries that are in close relationship with your country or your professional tasks.

The initial ideas that I come up is that the translator is such a wonderful translating expert. He has an excellent word choice. In the first sentence, the Vietnamese author say “bạn trẻ cần trang bị…”. Instead of using the word “need”, he used “should” which sounds more polite and catchy. Furthermore, we are used to considering “khả năng” as “ability” in English. However, “competence” is a new-used word but seems to be the most suitable in this case. Competence is that you not only know to do something but also understand in detail. The word choice here is really outstanding. Other examples that also show us the skillfulness of the translator in choosing the word like “provisionally” for “tạm thời”, “professional” for “chuyên môn”,… In general, this translated selection is the best one I have read with good structure arrangement as well as the word choice.


Pham Tran Thanh Duy - 7044730

julesdidi@gmail.com

honghieuspa1 said...

Sorry teacher because of the week 2,3,5,6 I didn’t give my email address,and week 4 my assignment was not “approved”, so now I rewrite my email and there are my comment for 5 weeks' assignment.
Week 2
Nguyen Hong Hieu
7044732
honghieumay@gmail.com

Comment of the core text: Canh dep thien nhien Viet Nam

P8 paragraph 1

I was impressed by the first sentence What is special about visiting the sites of Viet nam’s natural beauty? In the first sentence in English version there is no pronoun like you, but in the Vietnamese translation, there is one pronoun Bạn in bạn thấy gì đặc biệt khi thăm cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên của Việt nam? Two translations are diferent because each are written in the style of their own language. Moreover, in second sentence, the word safety has the meaning of feeling safe. It is very good to use the two nouns diversity and safety, I also surprised at the good use two words to emphasize the speciality in Vietnam that is diversity and safety . In terms of sound, that use is more expressed to the readers, especially tourists on the safe of this place. The writer used The sites of Viet nam‘s natural beauty in the title of this paragraph but in the first sentence he used natural landscapes. Both phraseThe sites of Viet nam‘s natural beauty and phrase natural landscapes have the same purpose is to discribe the beauty of landscape in Viet Nam but he use different word to avoid repeating word, a way let reader don’t feel boring to read. One thing that I didn't satisfy is that he used phrase many different ethnic groups is not good, many ethnic groups can not provide the meaning of many different ethnic groups in Viet Nam. In general, he did a well work, in third sentence, he used safe and secure. Both of them make the reader feel more reliable, and think of visiting Vetnam or even enjoy the beauty of landscapes in a safe atmostphere in Viet Nam.

Additional text:
Nhat anh. Tet. Heritage. May/June. 2004. P15

Người xông đất

Theo tục lệ, người đến thăm nhà đầu tiên gọi là người xông nhà, xông đất (Ở miền Trung còn gọi là “đạp đất hay “đập đất”). Vào sáng mồng một, con cháu trong nhà chưa được đi ra ngoài chúc tết cho đến khi có người đến xông nhà. Người ta tin rằng người xông đất có vai trò đặc biệt có thể ảnh hưởnh đến vận mệnh của cả gia đình trong suốt năm đó. Vì thế, có khi người nhà phải tìm hiểu tuổi tác, tính tình của người định mời xông đất từ trước xem vía người đó có tốt, có hợp với gia chủ hay không. Có nơi sau khi cả gia đình cùng xuất hành đi lễ chùa, lễ đền miếu trở về thì thường để người tốt vía, tính tình cởi mở trong gia đình tự vào xông đất.
Thường người xông đất đem theo một bánh pháo, đến cửa gia chủ đốt cho pháo nổ ran nhà cho tà bỏ chạy, để hạnh phúc tràn tới. sau đo chúc mùng gia chủ với những lời tốt đẹp nhất.


First visitor

According to custom, the first person to visit a home in the New year must be someone who will bring good luck and prosperity to the family. That person must be good character and is usually a man. Only once that person has entered the home can children leave it to present Tet greeting to their elders.
If the visitor is not a family member, he should be invited before entering and will bring with him a firecracker, which he will light at the gate before entering the home and offering his greetings to the family inside. According to ancient beliefs, the firecracker will chase away ghost while letting happiness in.

Comment for this translation
I was impressed by the English version, it was shorter than the Vietnamese one. In the first English version,the term người xông nhà, xông đất is skipped from English version, I think the writer skiped it because in English tradition, people don’t have that custom as in Viet Nam and it is also difficult for him to translate exactly the term, so he just called that person is the first person. Another thing make me interested in reading the translation is that he writer explain about who is call first person to visit one family is that he will bring good luck to the family. That person must have some good character and must be a man.
The line“ Only once that person has entered the home can children leave it to present Tet greeting to their elders”: is arranged in the last sentence in paragraph. First he wrote about the occerence of the first person, and what characteristics he has. Then he write about action of people in the family( they only can go out after his visiting) . It sound logical in the length of time. Or in other words he wrote detailedly about who the first person is, he appears and what people do after his visiting. In general,the writer gave us some interesting information about one custom that is appears during Tet holiday in Viet Nam.

week 3
Nguyen Hong hieu
7044732
Class 1
Email: honghieumay@gmail.com

core text: paragraph 11 page 17.
I have some interesting thing to comment. Firstly, the first sentence sentence made me interested by the use of phrase we can see seen from above that means something can be seen from above.That use help readers imagine that they are at a high position and they can look around with enjoying the beauty or even the wide of one place The writer use passive voice to emphasize that Ha long bay is seen from above, it is really beautiful. The writer described the beauty of Ha Long bay like a light blue handkerchief. Especially, this hankerchief is dooted with emerals.the comparision is really helpful to emphasize the beauty of Ha Long bay. However, the writer used “resembles” instead of the word like to compare the beauty of Ha Long bay like one hankerchief dooted with emerals.I do not agree with the use of word “resembles”. I think the sentence would be better if he used the word like because word resemble means same structure and same appearance, and Ha long bay can not have the same structure with a handkerchief.
In second sentence, if the writer use Ha long bay has a size of 1,553 square km to show it’s area, the sentence would not have good meaning like Ha long bay covers 1,553 square km. That well use makes reader feel the size of Ha long bay.
Third sentence, in Vietnamese and English version are both good and equivalent.
The fourth sentence in English version, writer use “resembles”. The use of this word in this sentence is better than it’s use in the first sentence. Because the appearnace of the Trong Mai and Rua islands is same to the appearance of cock and hen or Turle; besides, he use word looks like to show the appeance of one island with an old Monk that become its name. Dinh Huong( incense Urn), we can see that the writer describe this island shape like an incese burner on the sea, and in Vietnamese version he use the altar is the sea, but in English version he use the altar of the sea. That make reader wonder that whether there is an alter for nature to put this altar.

Additional text: Nguyen Thuan Hau. 109 bai dich Viet- Anh. P107
Những ngân hàng cổ phần thương mại
Hiện nay, ngân hàng nhà nước Việt Nam đã cấp giấy phép hoạt động cho trên 20 ngân hàng thương mại cổ phần và 62 hợp tác xã tín dụng ở nông thôn.
Những ngân hàng thương mại cổ phần đã huy động một tổng số vốn to lớn của xã hội để cho vay đặng phát triển sản xuất. Một vài ngân hàng thương mại cổ phần đang hoạt động trong một vài lĩnh vực như ngân hàng thương mại cổ phần hàng hải, ngân hàng xuất nhập khẩu, ngân hàng cổ phần nông nghiệp.
Joint stock commercial banks
The State Bank of Viet Nam has currently granted operating licences to over 20 joint- stock commercial banks as well as 20 credit cooperatives in the countryside.
The joint- stock commercial banks have mobilized a great amout of capital from society for loans for production development. Some of these joint- stock commercial banks are operating in certain fields such as the maritime joint- stock commercial bank, Import- Export bank, Agricultural joint- stock banks, etc…
My comment on this translation.
I have some interestimg things to comment about this translation. Firstly, in English version the title Joint stock commercial banks is equivalent to the Vietnamese version Những ngân hàng cổ phần thương mại. The first sentence of first paragraph in English version, I like the use of phrase has currently granted in the present perfect tense because it showed the current time of granting. If the writer used simple past tense like the words đã cấp in Vietnamese version to express the action of granting, for example granted, that use would not give give enough the implied meaning about the trend of operating some other next joint- stock commercial banks and also about the time of granting- that is currently happened not end in the past( in the past tense). Besides, I like the use of phrase as well as, that use showed that the writer want to focus on the same important role of joint- stock commercial banks and the credit cooperatives in the countryside.
In the next paragraph, the translator wanted to introduce what these commercial banks help to develop our society in terms of providing loans for production development. Next sentence, he introduced the occurrence of some joint-stock commercial in some specific fields like the maritime joint- stock commercial bank, Import- Export bank, Agricultural joint- stock banks.


Week 4
honghieumay@gmail.com
core text: canh dep thien nhien Viet Nam. Paragraph 15.p 18

In English version, there is beach after bai chay (“bai chay beach”), but in Vietnamese version, just bãi cháy, it has the meaning of the land near the sea or the coach, so the writer does not need to repeatly use the word beach after bãi cháy.
I let my favor on the first sentence in English version, the writer is skillful to use a comma which has the meaning of the word to be or in Vietnamese “là”. And word close to talk about the distance is short, near or next to. One more thing make me expressed is that why didn’t the writer used word lie means nằm cạnh in English version. I think he used word close to well because Bai Chay Beach is a natural object not a thing that human make, so it can not accompany with the word lie.
The second sentence in the English version, there is the no word mean “nhờ có” or from the help of some one and any organization, however, when I read the sentence, I can know that with the investment of Hoang Gia tourism company make the site popular.
The third sentence, in Vietnamese version, một bên là bãi cát trắng một bên là rừng phi lao. But in English version there are only the phrase the beach of white sadn and casuarina,I don' garee with that use. If the writer used one side is the beach of white sand, one side is casuarina trees instead of the beach of white sadn and casuarina, it would make the sentence more clear for reader to image the scene of Bai Chay.
The fourth sentence in two versions are both good.
In the fifth sentence the word Between mean position between two things. Readers can image that Bai Chay is on the the way from Bai Chay tourist wharf to Ha long Night market, and it is not very far to visit the two places.I was impressed by the use of the omission of relative adverb where ( là nơi) tourists can play water-skiing and jet-skiing.

Additional text: Minh tri. Thành phố của các thiên thần.chợ nổi. Heritage. May/ june. 2003.62-65

Chợ nổi
Ngày nay Băng Cốc là một thành phố hiện đại, nhưng về phía Tây Nam, ở vùng phụ cận của thành phố, vẫn còn một khu vực mà cuộc sống vẫn giống như cha ông họ đã từng sống trước đây. Đó chính là một chợ nổi Damnern Saduak. Sáng sáng, những chiếc thuyền gỗ chất đầy những sản vật đổ về từ mọi hướng. Trên những chiếc thuyền khác là những tiệm ăn nổi mini phục vụ các loại đồ ăn đã nấu sẵn.

Floating market
While Bangkok is a huge, modern city, the way of life in the city’s south western outskirt cotinues much as it has for generations. The floating market of Damnern Saduak is an example of this continuity. Every morning, small boats heavily laden with fruit, flowers, vegetables, rice and other produce float in from all directions. Other small vessels serve as floatting mini restaurants that serve noodles, traditional sweets, or coconut milk.


Comment:
I like the way the writer break first sentence in Vietnamese is broken into two sentence in English version.The first sentence in Vietnamese version the writer just used the word hiện đại(modern). However, in English version, we see word huge and modern mean the largement of this modern city. That use is good to describe Bangkok because it is not only huge but also large. Besides,the use of word while emphasized that though Bangkok is a modern city it still remain the living style of their generations, especially in in the city’s south western outskirt.
In the second sentence, small boat does not means the wooden boat. If a person who did not visit this place before, he or she just think of any boat which are made of any many materials like plastic, so the use of word in this sen is not good. These boats are laden with with fruit, flowers, vegetables, rice and other farming products floating in from all directions. The writer used these words to explain more and list about what people carry to this market to sell, it is a good way to help readers know more about farming products here. Besides, he used Other small vessels serve as floatting mini restaurants that serve noodles, traditional sweets, or coconut milk. These words help readers know that in other boats, tourists can enjoy many dishes. In general the writer introduced about an old living style of people in Bangkok, Thailand though it is a huge and modern city now.


week 5
nguyen hong hieu
7044732
class 1
honghieumay@gmail.com
Core text:
Viet Nam' s natural beauty. Paragraph 131. page 99.
Reading this paragraph I have some interesting things to comment.
Like the other paragraph in English version in this books, which mention about the pace of scenic beauty, the first sentence the writer used is located in to show where that place is, not with the word belong to.
The second sentence, we see Huong Son' s mountains, rivers and forests. I think this phrase is not good because mountains, forests and rivers are in Huong Son, not belong to Huong Son or of Huong Son. If the writer use these things above are of Huong Son, it would make the sentence redundant. Moreover, the next part of this sentence, the phrase great plaIns of Northern Viet Nam is also not as good as graet plains in Northern Viet Nam.
Third sentence, I was expresed by the use of word complex means group, the writer use complex pagodas to show the group of pagodas here. It's better to use complex pagodas than group of pagodas or pagodas only. Moreover this complex is set by human among it, there are mountains, forests, lake and caves. Besides, it is also surrounded by large of green fields of rice. The scene is really wonderful. However, in this sentence, plains of rice is not a well use because in each plain there are many crops field of rice. I suggest using fields of rice.
The fourth sentence, the writer used word flows after streams, it is good use because wIth stream or river we cannot use it lies between two things, but it flows. The next well done is that he use landscape in stead of field or plains of rice again.

Additional text:
Nguyen Thuan Hau. 109 bai Luyen dich Viet- Anh. Thach Lam.Mua dong o Hue.p39
Muà đông ở Huế rất khó chịu. Ở Bắc Việt trời lạnh nhưng ráo, một cái lạnh làm cho người tráng kiện và thôi thúc ta hoạt động. Còn ở đây, trái lại,trời mưa tầm tả, hết tuần này sang tuần khác, liên miên, tưởng như khong bao giờ dứt. Mọi vật đều ẩm ướt, không khí nặng nề bao trùm lên mọi vật và tưởng như sống trong một cảnh lao tù, thiếu ánh nắng, thiếu tiếng chin hót, phải sống trong khung cảnh chật hẹp, mọi hoạt đọng đều tê liệt.
The winter at Hue
The winter at Hue is very unpleasant. In North- Vietnam, It's cold but dry, a cold makes every body vigorous and exciting to work. Whereas, here, It rains cats and dogs, week after week, contInuosly and seems never to stop. Everything becomes moist, the sultry aIrcovers the whole scenery and everybody feels as if they were in a prison which is short of sunlight, birdsong, (as if they) lives in a confined space and all activities were immobile.
My comment
This version is extracted from a story and translated, so the word choice must suitable to the style of story and context. The first sentence, the good use of word unpleasant to show the uncomfortable condition that people in Hue have to suffer from the weather. In the second sentence, the writer compare the winter in Hue to that one in Ha Noi. There is a contrast, in Ha Noi the weather is less disagreeable, a cold can makes people exciting to work. However in this place, it rain heavily. besides, the moisture or sultry air covers anywhere, covers the whole scenery. the next part of this sentence, the writer use as if, a good word to show the supposed feeling of hue people who consider they are in prison because they could not do anything and because of lacking of the sunlight.



Week 6
Nguyen Hong Hieu
7044732
honghieumay@gmail.com

core text: Viet Nam 's natural beauty. paragraph 20. page 23

I have some interesting thing to comment.
First sentence, in English version we can see the phrase once the site why the author use definite article the, whether he use the site to imply Van Ban pagoda. I think that the first sentence is not equivalent to the first sentence in Vietnamese version because the site does not give enough meaning to word nơi có. If the writer uses once the site of the famous bell that means Van Ban pagoda is the site of the bell, not the bell is in Van Ban pagoda. Moreover, is next to the tower, it make the readers confuse which tower that the writer want to mention.
Second sentence: if the writer translates word by word in Vietnamese version, it would not be good translation. For example: if he translates this is the oldest frozen bell in Viet Nam, so it would not be as good as the frozen bell, one of the oildest in Viet Nam. We can see that in English version, the writer commbine two sentences in Vietnamese version, and then translate it into one sentence in English.
Fourth sentence, It is on display now, why don’t he use it is dispalyed like the sentence in Vietnamese version đang được trưng bày. I think it is on display makes the sentence smooth and its sound smoother.
Fifth sentence, the bell fell , it doesn’t mean bi roi in Vietnamese but the bell itself fell into the sea unedr the influence of a storm. Not someone make it fall into the seabed.
Seventh sentence, during its centuries, I think it is not good because its centuries trhat means the centuries of the bell, but the meaning of that phrase is the centuries when the bell in the sea. It would be better if he use in centuries instead of duing its centuries.

Additional text:
Vuong Cac. 120 bai Luyen dich Viet Anh. P21

Nghỉ hè
Trời nóng nực, khó chịu. Học nhiều nghĩ lắm sợ đuối sức và mệt trí, nên vào khoảng mấy tháng hè, từ trung tuần tháng sáu đến đầu tháng chín, các trường đều đóng cửa. Tuy vậy, người học trò tốt không nên lấy cớ nghỉ mà sao lãng việc học. Mỗi ngày cũng phải ôn tập lại các bài học trong vài giờ thì mới không quên những điều đã học, như vậy năm sau vào trường mới đủ sức thi đua cùng bạn bè trong lớp.

Summer vacation
The weather is hot and disagreeable. Learning and thinking a lot would exhaust our body and mind, therefore during a few months of summer, from the middle of June to the beginning of September, all school are closed. However, a good student should not make a ptetext of his holiday to neglect his study. Everyday, he should review his lessons for few hours so as not to forget what he has leanrt, and he will be able to compete with his classmates the next school year.

Reading this translation I have some interesting things to comment:

The first sentence both English and Vietnamese version is equivalent. In
the second sentence in Vietnamese version hoc nhieu nghi lam so duoi suc va met tri, if the writer translated exactly word by word like we fear that studing and thinking a lot would make us tired, it would not make the sentence good. I was expressed by the use of phrase learning thinking a lot would exhaust our body and mind.
In the third sentence, the writer used word ptetext mean lấy cớ in Vietnamese, and he used neglect means sao lang in Vietnamese, the use of these word is good and it give equivalent meaning between the two versions.
In the fourth sentence, in English version he used the words should review his lessons in few hours, I think it give eqivalent meaning to the same sentence in Vietnamese version. However, the phrase so as not to forget what he has learnt doesn’t give enough the meaning of what he has learnt, when he got that knowlegde, I think he must use so as not to forget what he has learnt in the last semester or last school year.

hang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ngoc said...

Dear Sir,

I received your feedback“Approved” for week 3, 4, 5. So, I just post week 2 and week 6.

Week 2

7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph 4 (p.13) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty

The heading sentence of the paragraph which is in bold was translated quite closely to the sentence in the Vietnamese text.

However, in the first sentence, there are differences in translation from the Vietnamese original text into the English version:

Firstly, the phrase “ voi bo bien trai dai 3.000 km tu bai bien Tra Co cua tinh Quang Ninh o phia Bac den mui Ca Mau cua tinh Ca Mau o phia cuc Nam” was translated into the form of a sentence. The subject in the translation is “Viet Nam’s 3,000-kilometre coastline” and the verb is “stretches”, making this sentence become short and easier to understand. The verb “stretches” best describes Viet Nam’s coastline rather than other verbs, e.g “runs”.

The phrase “ tinh Quang Ninh o phia Bac” was translated as “the northen province of Quang Ninh” while the phrase “tinh Ca Mau o phia cuc Nam” was translated as Viet Nam’s southern-most province of Ca Mau”. Then, we can see that there’s difference between the southern and the southern-most. Why did not the translator use “the southern” but “the southern-most” ? If the southern is used, the translation does not express the exact meaning of the phrase “tinh Ca Mau o phia cuc Nam” because Ca Mau is the furthest south province of Viet Nam. So, we need to emphasize its feature by using the southern-most province as the translator did.

“…and includes islands, bays, beaches…” Here, we can use the verb “has” but “includes” seems to be more formal in written form and smoother.

Next, the translation does not use “includes” again to translate the phrase “bao gom nhung noi heo lanh va lang man…”Instead, it used “range from…to…” By using this verb, readers can illustrate or imagine the scene of Vietnam’s beaches and appreciate the diversity of the topography of beaches in Vietnam. I think the verb “vary” is also possible here.

“…the secluded and romantic” and “the popular and sporty” are used in creative and successful way. We do not use a noun here but the readers still understand what the adjectives stand for. The way using adjective as a noun makes the sentence shorter and better.

However, the phrase “popular and sporty” was not very close to the original meaning. I would translate the phrase “noi tieng va soi dong” as “popular and effervescent”.

In conclusion, this is a good translation. The English translation is very close to meaning of the Vietnamese original text. The translator used clear structures and effective words to express the expected meaning in Vietnamese.

7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph taken from website
http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/

The Vietnamese original text

Dien đan Du lich Đong A (EATOF) 2007 cam ket ung ho binh chon Vinh Ha Long

Ngày 13/9/2007.Cập nhật lúc 17h 9'

Tu ngay 4 đen 8/9, Đoan đai bieu Quang Ninh do ong Trinh Van Hong, Pho Giam đoc So Du lich Quang Ninh dan đau đa hoan thanh tot đep chuyen cong tac tham du dien đan Du lich Đong A (EATOF) lan thu 7 đuoc to chuc tai tinh Chiang Mai (Thai Lan). Tham gia dien đan EATOF 2007 gom cac đoan đai bieu đen tu Trung Quoc, Han Quoc, Nhat Ban, Malaysia, Viet Nam, Indonesia, Mong Co, Philippine, Thai Lan. Đay la lan thu 2 tinh Quang Ninh tham gia dien đan EATOF voi tu cach la thanh vien chinh thuc.

Theo Website TCDL

The English translation

East Asia Inter-Regional Tourism Forum 2007 pledging to support Ha Long Bay’s recommendation

Updated on 9/14/2007 at 17:28

This year’s Vietnamese delegation, led by Mr. Trinh Van Hong, Deputy Director of the Quang Ninh Tourism Department, completed the business trip taken placed in Chiang Mai, Thai Lan successfully. This is the second time that Quang Ninh province has joined the forum as an official member. The forum attracted the participation of representatives from China, the Republic of Korea, Japan, Malaysia, Vietnam, Indonesia, Mongolia, the Philippines, and Thailand.

BTA (According to Quang Ninh News)

My comments

The heading of the English translation is “ East Asia Inter-Regional Tourism Forum 2007…” includes the word Inter-Regional that does not appear in the Vietnamese original text. I think this may be because the name of an organization or a forum in the English language need to be specified clearly and if we do not translate carefully, readers may misunderstand.

The phrase “This year’s Vietnamese delegation” seems not to be in close meaning to “doan dai bieu Quang Ninh” .It should be translated as Vietnamese delegation of Quang Ninh province.
After this sentence, the translation changed the position of sentence 2 and sentence 3 in comparison with the position in the original text.

The sentence “ This is the second time that Quang Ninh province has joined the forum as an official member.” is translated closely to the meaning of the Vietnamese text.
However, the last sentence is a little different from the Vietnamese text but it still keeps the expected meaning. In the Vietnamese text, there’s no subject but in the English translation, the subject is “the forum”. In Vietnamese, we write “Tham gia diễn đàn EATOF 2007 gồm các đoàn đại biểu đến từ Trung Quốc,…Thái Lan.” but we do not translate in the same way. Instead, we need a complete sentence as “The forum attracted the participation of representatives from China,…, and Thailand.” I think this is a popular way in translating a Vietnamese text into the English one.

In conclusion, this translation is close to the meaning of the Vietnamese original text although there are some points that are not translated well. Also, the order of the sentences is not kept as in the Vietnamese text.

Week 6

7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph 24 (p.25) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty

This is a good translation because it translates extremely closely to the meaning of Vietnamese selection. The paragraph uses simple words and structures and it follows nearly the same structure as the original one.

However, I recognize that what appear in Vietnamese text are all translated into English. For example, those word like “voi cac vong dau, trong suot thang 6 Am lich, nhin tu cac nha hang, cho nhung chuyen tau, trong suot cuoc chien tranh cua My, voi kien truc kieu thuoc dia cua Phap, etc” are translated into English without any reduction as “with the preliminary round, during the sixth lunar month, views from many of the restaurants, for ships, during the American war, with its French colonial architecture, etc. This does not mean that we should reduce all of them but such way of translating word by word will make the translation mechanical, dry and not natural. The readers may be confused with lots of Vietnamese proper names and by the way of enumerating information.

Moreover, there is not anything new in the translation. It is sure that the readers understand the translation but they will not find out anything special through the translation about Do son sites.

In my opinion, it is easy for us to translate this paragraph from Vietnamese into English but it is very difficult to find out a good and effective way to translate so as to make the translation smooth, easily understandable and natural. Therefore, at the level of amateur translators, this translation is acceptable and appreciated.

7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph taken from website http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/

The Vietnamese original text

Australia giúp cải thiện an toàn giao thông ở Việt Nam Ngày 12/10/2007. Cập nhật lúc 22h 0'

Đại sứ quán Australia tại Việt Nam cho biết, nước này đã đồng ý tài trợ một chương trình thí điểm giúp hạn chế đáng kể số lượng người chết vì tai nạn giao thông ở Việt Nam. Năm 2001, số lượng xe máy tăng 29%, nhưng số người chết vì tai nạn giao thông lại tăng tới 37%. Trợ giúp này của Australia tại Việt Nam là chương trình tiếp theo sau chương trình khuyến khích những người đi xe đạp và xe máy đội mũ bảo hiểm. Để thực hiện chương trình mới này, Australia sẽ cung cấp 500.000 AUD cho dự án “An toàn giao thông toàn cầu” của Ngân hàng Thế giới (World Bank), trong đó đưa ra những sáng kiến về an toàn giao thông ở những nước có thu nhập thấp và trung bình. Cũng theo ông Hunt, việc kết hợp giữa lưu lượng giao thông, dân số đông và một lượng lớn người đi bộ là một trở ngại đáng kể đối với việc cải thiện an toàn giao thông tại Việt Nam. Tổ chức Y tế Thế giới ước tính trên 85% trường hợp chết và bị thương vì tai nạn giao thông xảy ra ở những nước đang phát triển, gây tổn hại từ 80-120 tỷ USD mỗi năm. Nếu không hành động, số người chết vì tai nạn giao thông toàn cầu được dự tính sẽ tăng gấp đôi vào năm 2020.

PV

The English translation

Australia to help improve road safety in Vietnam Updated on 10/12/2007 at 21:2

Australia has agreed to fund a pilot program to help curb a sharp rise in road deaths in Vietnam, according to the Australian Embassy to Hanoi. In 2001 there was a 29 percent increase in the number of motorcycles but a 37 percent rise in road deaths. Australia’s assistance in Vietnam follows support for an earlier road safety program that encouraged bicycle and motorcycle riders to wear safety helmets. To enable this new program, Australia will provide 500,000 AUD to the World Bank’s “Global road safety facility” which seeks to boost road safety initiatives in low and middle income countries. “The combination of traffic, dense populations and high pedestrian numbers is a significant obstacle to improving road safety,” Mr Hunt said. The World Health Organisation estimates that more than 85 percent of road traffic deaths and injuries occur in developing countries and impose huge economic costs, estimated at between 80-120 billion USD annually. Unless action is taken, global road deaths are forecast to double by 2020.

ATP

My comments

This paragraph is well-translated because it translates closely to the original text as well as it uses clear structures and effective choice of words.

Right at the heading of the translation, we can see a phrase instead of a sentence as in the Vietnamese text. This is a good and common way to translate the heading sentence from Vietnamese into English language in order to keep the original meaning and make it sound more natural in another language.

Scanning the whole translation, I discover a very important point that contributes to the success of the translation. That is the author’s flexibility in using a wide range of word choice. For example, “pilot program, curb, boost, initiatives, dense population, impose, etc.” these words help the translation reach the level of accuracy nearer. In addition, the author is careful in using noun phrases, as in “road safety program, global road safety facility, huge economic costs,etc.” when I read the Vietnamese original paragraph, I find very difficult to translate it into English because its complicated structures and noun phrases. However, as I encountered this translation, I learnt a lot of things and found a way to translate the text.

In general, the translation is not very different in the order and the level of emphasis compared with the original text, but it is highly appreciated for its choice of words and noun phrases.

Dao Thi Luong said...

Dear Mr. Duc,
My comment for week 4 was approved , so here are my comment for week 2,3,5, and 6.Please give me your feedback to the email address I write below.
WEEK 2
7044735- Đào Thị Lương- lauradao86@gmail.com
Book:VIET NAM’S NATURAL BEAUTY
Paragraph 2, page 9.
Generally, the English translation paragraph tells the readers the main ideas of the Vietnamese one because it is expressed very clearly and comprehensible.The translator is very good at transforming structures from Vietnamese into English as well as choosing appropriate words.
First, s/he used “bordering” for “nằm” instead of “lying”, because here we talk about the location of a land, a country which is next to something, so “border” is more suitable. Then, the word “ví” was translated into “describe” which is very appropriate to the context. The translator didn’t use “compare” because it refers to another meaning. The phrase “gánh gạo với hai đầu là hai thúng gạo lớn của cả nước” was expressed excellently in English as in English we don’t have an equivalent word for “thúng”, or “ chiếc đòn gánh”. However, the translator made it become equivalent and comprehensible, which helped the readers be able to imagine the shape of Vietnam. In the next sentence, the verb phrase “extend back” was used to show the long history of Vietnam which has lasted for many centuries with the meaning “đã có từ”. Here, the translator didn’t use “exist” or “date from” because they are not as suitable as “extend back”. Next, the word “tập quán” is translated into “pratices” not “ custom”; “mối quan hệ” into “tie”, which are selected excellently by the translator.
In terms of sentence structures, s/he made some good changes in order to make the text more natural and clearer by separating a complex and long sentence to some more simple ones. For example, with the long sentence “Người Việt Nam ví nước mình giống một gánh gạo với hai đầu là hai thúng gạo lớn của cả nước, đó là Đồng bằng sông Hồng và Đồng bằng sông Cửu Long, và chiếc đòn gánh là dãy Trường Sơn chạy dọc theo dải đất hẹp miền Trung.”,when translated into English, it becomes 3 smaller sentences otherwise it will be a run-on sentence, an error in written English. In my opinion, that’s one among many techniques that the translator uses to gain the quality for the translation text.
Besides those good points of the translated text, however, there are some small points that I don’t quite agree with the translator. First, with the verb tense s/he used for “extends back” (present simple), I would change to “have extended back” (present perfect) because they lasted for a long time and untill now. Similarly, with the next sentence, “created” to “have created”. Moreover, with the word choice, I would like to change the phrase “land protection” to “country protection” and the phrase “a tradition of both self-determination and a strong local community” to “a tradition of self-determination with strong local community” because they are closer in meaning with the Vietnamese text.
On the whole, the English translation text is rather good, it sticks to the original text but it still sounds English and easy to understand.
September 17, 2007 4:27 PM
Dao Thi Luong nói...
Book: LUYỆN DỊCH VIỆT –ANH, quyển 4. Tác giả: Hồ Văn Hòa.Nxb Đà Nẵng.
Bài 94- TRÊN DÒNG CỬU LONG, trang 208.
Paragraph 1:
Vietnamese text:
Được phù sa của dòng Cửu Long hùng vĩ làm cho phong phú, vựa lúa đầy ắp này tượng trưng cho nguồn lương thực quốc gia và phong cách sống cận kề sông nước đặc thù của cư dân mình. Đối với khách du lịch, đồng bằng Cửu Long cống hiến một trong những địa điểm đến tham quan có cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên đẹp nhất Đông Nam Á, kết hợp cái “kỳ ảo” của một vùng sông nước lung linh với sự phơi bày phấn khởi của một nền văn hóa sôi động những sinh hoạt và hoạt động thương mại.
English tranlation text:
Enriched by silt from the mighty Mekong River (or the Cuu Long River; the River of Nine Dragons) this full rice granary represents a national source of nourishment and a special, aquatic way of life of its inhabitants. For visitors, the Mekong Delta offers one of the most scenic travel destinations in Southeast Asia, combining the “exoticism” of a shimmering waterworld and the cheerful display of a culture vibrant with activities and commerce.
My Comment:
The translation text sticks to the original one very firmly from the structure to the meaning. The translator uses very suitable words that sound very formal to tranfer the ideas in Vietnamese into English as the text is used for providing tourist information to travelers, it must be translated in a formal way. Therefore, it require the translator use very well-selected words to express to ideas. For example, s/he uses “silt” for “phù sa”; “mighty” for “hùng vĩ”; “exoticism” for “sự kỳ ảo”,or “shimmering” for “lung linh”. Besides, with the word “cống hiến” s/he doesn’t use “devote to” instead s/he says “offer”, which is more suitable for the subject of the sentence (the Mekong Delta). Then, s/he uses the verb phrase “combine...and” very well. The verb tense(present simple) that s/he uses is good because it can make the situation lively and more attactive to readers.
In general ,the word choice of the translator is really good.
However, I want to add a little more to some words that are used by the translator in order to make it clearer and closer to the ideas in the Vietnamese text . I would like to add “beautiful” before the word “scenic” in the phrase “the most scenic travel destinations”. Next, with the meaning “ những sinh hoạt” I would use the phrase “daily activities” instead of “activities” in the text.
In general, the translation text has transferred the close meaning from the Vietnamese text but it still sounds English. The word choice and sentence structures are very good that stick to the Vietnamese original text.


WEEK 3
7044735-Đào Thị Lương- lauradao86@gmail.com
Class Assignment
Book: VIET NAM’S NATURAL BEAUTY
Ha Long Bay – paragraph 3 – page 17.
I think the English translation text can give the readers the general idea of the paragraph, but besides the good points there are some things need to be improved in the translated text.
First, the translator is very good when s/he translated the noun phrase “hang động” separately into “grottoes” and “caves”. This shows a difference between Vietnamese and English. With “có nhiều”, s/he didn’t say “has many” but said “has a rich collection”, this seems more interesting and formal. Then, s/he kept the same name of grottoes and caves in Vietnamese such as “Thiên Cung”or “Đầu Gỗ”,etc and translated them into equivalent words in English. This makes the readers know the Vietnamese name of those caves as well as understand them in English. The word “nhưng” was translated into “yet” instead of “but” which would change the meaning of the idea. The word “yet” seems more formal and it reflects the right idea. The translator used “be linked to” for “gắn liền” is very suitable for the situation.
Besides the good sides, the translated text also includes some points that need to be improved. There are some words that I may want to replace. First, the sentence “Thiên Cung trông có vẻ hiện đại và được sửa sang nhiều..” was translated into “ Thien Cung (Heavenly Palace Glotto) feels modern and refined…”. If I were the translator, I would use the verb “look” for this sentence in stead of “feel” because “feel” is usually used for human, not for things or a place. Second, with the word “kỳ bí”, I would use “mysterious” instead of “secretive” which refers something that belongs to someone and known only by him or herself, but here “kỳ bí” refers to something that human find hard to understand its features and needs to be discovered. So, “mysterious” is more suitable. Moreover, the translator used “grandiose” two times in the same paragraph. This makes the translation text is not varied in terms of word used.
In brief, the translation text is acceptable. It can get readers to have a general idea about grottoes and caves in Ha Long bay. However, there are some words that were not translated suitably and need to be replaced by better ones.
Extra- Assignment:
Book: Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, quyển 4. Tác giả : Hồ Văn Hòa. Nxb Đà Nẵng.
Bài 92-trang 134. Đoạn 1.
Vietnamese text:
Việt Nam đang bắt tay vào việc thực hiện một nhiệm vụ vô cùng to lớn là xây dựng một nền kinh tế hiện đại có khả năng thỏa mãn các nhu cầu của dân số đang gia tăng nhanh chóng của mình, cũng như để có thể cạnh tranh được với các quốc gia khác trên thương trường quốc tế. Nhờ có chính sách kinh tế mới mẻ của mình và việc ban hành luật đầu tư nước ngoài, nhiều thành phần kinh tế Việt Nam, hiện nay đang mở rộng cửa đón tiếp các đối tác ngoại quốc.
English translation text:
Vietnam is embarking on a gigantic task to build up a modern economy capable of satisfying the needs of its rapidly growing people and of competing with other countries on the world market. As a result of its new economic policy and the enactment of the foreign investment law, many of its economic sectors are now fully open, welcoming foreign partnerships.
Comment:
I really like the word choice of the translator of this English translation text. S/He chooses the words that are well-selected and mostly close to the meaning of the Vietnamese words. First, the verb phrase “bắt tay vào việc thực hiện ” was translated into the verb “embark on” which means “start to do something new and difficult”. This verb is very suitable for this situation. Then, s/he used the adjective “gigantic”, not “extremely large” for “vô cùng to lớn”. The adjective also means “extremely large” but when we use it , then the feature of the “task” will be more emphasized. Those selected words are very formal and suitable for the context of a news report. Second, in the next sentence the noun “enactment” was used very appropriately because it refered to the action of making law be obeyed, which helped express the Vietnamese meaning well. The phrase “Nhờ có” refers to the good result of something before, so phrase “As a result of” was used. Besides, the structures and verb tenses in the translation text are kept almost the same with the original. This is a really excellent translation text


WEEK 5

7044735-Dao Thi Luong-lauradao86@gmail.com
Comment 1
Book: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty-Paragraph 27-page 27.
In general, I think the English translation text is good. It sticks to the Vietnamese original rather closely in terms of both meaning and structures. The word choice is simple but it can help convey the ideas of the paragraph in Vietnamese into English completely such as the verb phrase “chạy dọc theo” was translated into “border”, or “đọc chệch đi” into “mispronounce the tone”. Although in English , sometimes, we don’t have equivalent words or phrases to express the ideas in Vietnamese, the translator overcame this problem by using words that have the closest meaning like those words. Besides, s/he explained
more about some proper names in Vietnamese in order to make the idea clearer and easy to understand.
The sentence structures used were organized clearly. They are very similar to Vietnamese structures, but still sound English. The verb tense was used correctly.
However, there is only a small mistake of the translator that s/he skipped the words “nổi tiếng” and “nhiều” in the second sentence.
In brief, the translation text is good. It conveys the Vietnamese ideas into English well.
Comment 2
Book: “Luyen Dich Viet-Anh”, quyen 4, Tac gia :Ho Van Hoa, nxb Da Nang.
Bai 91, trang 330.
Vietnamese text:
Y phục bằng lụa tơ tằm – loại y phục sang trọng qúy nhất của Phương Đông đã nổi bật trong lịch sử và huyền thoại Á đông. Qua nhiều thế kỷ, việc mặc y phục bằng lụa tơ tằm đã là đặc quyền của quý tộc Trung Quốc, và sự hiểu biết về việc nuôi tằm lấy tơ (đã) là bí mật phải được giữ kín. Thậm chí ngày nay, sau hơn 4.000 năm khám phá, việc nuôi tằm lấy tơ trên quy mô rộng lớn hầu như hoàn toàn bị hạn chế trong khu vực châu À.
English translation text:
Silks, the most precious finery of the Orient, were prominent in history and oriental mythology. The wearing of silks was for centuries the exclusive right of the Chinese nobility, and knowledge of sericulture was a zealously guarded secret. Even today, more than 4,000 years after its discovery, sericulture on the large scale is confined almost entirely to Asia.
My Comment:
I find the translation text really impressive because of the translator’s word choices. Those words are very good and effective because this is a formal text , the words must be chosen well ,such as “finery” for “y phục”, “ prominent” for “nổi bật”, “mythology” for “huyền thoại”,or “sericulture” for “việc nuôi tằm lấy tơ”. The single word “silks” is used for the phrase “y phục bằng lụa tơ tằm” instead of “clothes made of silks”. It is just a single word but it means the whole phrase. This way of translation makes the translation text more simple to understand but still keeps the meaning of the original one.
The structures used are rather close to the Vietnamese ones apart from some changes of the translator in order to make the text sound more English. For example, s/he puts adverbial phrases of time in the middle of the sentence instead of the beginning , such as “for centuries”, “after its discovery”. However, I think in the phrase “a zealously guarded secret” the word “zealously” can be deleted because “secret” implies “zealously”.
In general, the translation text is translated very well. It expresses nearly exact what is in the Vietnamese original. The way of translation is short yet comprehensible and professional.
WEEK 6

7044735- Đào Thị Lương- class 1- lauradao86@gmail.com
Comment 1:
Book: “Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty”-paragraph 32-“Bà Rịa – Vũng Tàu”-page `31.
In general, the paragraph is translated into English well. The word choices are suitable for the ideas to be translated. The translator separated the Vietnamese word “đồi núi” into two English words “hills, mountains”, which shows a clear difference between Vietnamese and English. The proper name “Bà Rịa –Vũng Tàu Province” is kept the same with the one in Vienamese. This makes the translation text be close to the original. The structures used are simple but comprehensible and similar to Vietnamese ones. There are no change in structure , so the English text has very similar sentence structures to the Vietnamese one. That makes the meaning in the two languages closer. The verb tense used (present simple) is very good, because this is a text introducing some information.
Beside those good points, there are some points that I think, need to be improved in the translation text. The phrase “seventy-two kilometers” should be corrected into “seventy kilometers”. With the word “bờ biển”, I would use “seashore” instead of “shoreline”, because it not a very common word to use. Next, I would like to add “rains” ( những cơn mưa) after “monsoon” in the forth sentence, because the translator didn’t translate that word.
In conclusion, the translation text is well-organized and good in terms of words chosen.
Comment 2:
Book: “Practice in Vietnamese-English Translation 1”- para 11- page 24.
Vietnamese paragraph:
“Giám đốc một doanh nghiệp sản xuất hàng quà tặng tại Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh cho biết hiện doanh nghiệp của ông có hơn 10 mẫu hang chuẩn bị tung ra trong dịp Sea Games 22 sắp tới, nhưng doanh nghiệp hiện nay trong thế “tiến thoái lưỡng nan” không thể tiến hành lên kế hoạch sản xuất được vì không biết chi phí phải trả cho ban tổ chức bao nhiêu để định giá sản phẩm.”
English paragraph:
A manager of an enterprise producing souvernir gifts in Hồ Chí Minh city stated that there would be more than 10 souvenir models available to be launched on the occasion of the forthcoming SEA Games 22 but his business was in the dilemma of unability to work out any production plan because the enterprise couldn’t evaluate how much money should be paid to the Organization Board to set the right price.
My Comment:
I think the English translation can help readers have a main idea of the paragraph. However, when I consider it in details, I realize there are some points that I don’t agree with the translator. First, in term of word choices , I want to change some words such as, “A manager of an enterprise producing souvernir gifts” should be “The director of a gift production enterprise”; “stated” replaced by “said”; “souvenir models” replaced by “model products”. These replacing words, I think, are more suitable and closer to the ideas in the Vietnamese paragraph. The word “unability” should be “inability”. Some words such as “SEA Games 22” or “Organization Board” don’t need to be capitalized in all letters.
The structure used should be more formal. The phrase “… but his business was in the dilemma of unability to work out any production plan…”should be separated into a new sentence: “However, his business was in the dilemma of inability to work out any production plan…”
In brief, The translation text gives readers the gist of the paragraph but it needs to be improved more about words choices and sentence structures.

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Week 2
Doan Thi Thuy Hang
MSSV: 7044731
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn

Assignment 1
Viet Nam's Natural Beauty
Page: 36-37
Paragraph 40

I chose this paragraph because I like the way translators used expertly their own English in translating. For example: “cách Hà Nội 380 km về phía tây” – “Located some 380 kilometers northwest of Hanoi”. The order of words English text are totally different from the in the source text. The translators did not use any preposition to translate the word “cách”, on the contrary”, they shorten the structure by using the form “V + ed” - “located” for the beginning of the text. This English structure is often used in magazines or newspapers. So, it will make the version more professional. Moreover, the word “located” can manifest the location and position of Sa Pa compared with Ha Noi. Another thing makes me wonder that is the position of the word “some” in the phrase “some 380 kilometers. Here, it shows an estimation of distance, however in my opinion the “some” here is not a good choice because it rarely occurs in such case. So it’s better if we change the word “some” into “about”. Another preposition in this sentence “về” is not translated into English. I think the skipping is acceptable and reasonable because “về” can be considered as an expletive in this case. Indeed, if we translate the Vietnamese text into the English text word by word, it will be “Far from Ha Noi 380 kilometers in northwest direction”. I think the translation can be accepted although its structure as well as word choices are not quite excellent. The next sentence “thị trấn Sa Pa nằm trên độ cao 1.560 km so với mực nước biển tại chân núi Pan Xi Pang, ngọn núi cao nhất Việt Nam.” – “the town of Sa Pa perches at 1.560 meters above sea level at the foot of the Mount Pan Si Pan, the highest mountain in Vietnam. In these sentences, the order of words is the same. As we know, the basic English sentence pattern is formed on the noun phrase. So, the Vietnamese structure sometimes is not the same as English structure. In the expression “thị trấn Sa Pa” – “the town of Sa Pa”, we have to use the preposition “of” for a such translating noun phrase. In this sentence, I pay much attention to the word “perches”. In my opinion, I think it’s the good word for this situation because we can not tranalate “nằm trên” – “lie up” or repeat the word “locate” many times. The last sentence “Người ta không ngạc nhiên khi Sa Pa trở nên nổi tiếng với cái tên “Thành phố trong mây” – “And so, it is no surprise that Sa Pa has earned its reputation as the “Town in the Clouds”. The phrase “And so” is considered as a conjunction, its meaning is not important. So, we can add or skip it when traslating. Here, although there is a different structure “Người ta không ngạc nhiên” – “It is no surprise that”, the meaning between the structure is equivalent. In English, people usually prefer to use a pattern “It + be + adj/noun + clause to focus attention on certain information or emphasize the information. Hence, the using this structure is the good way in this case for emphasizing. Another point, “Sa Pa trở nên nổi tiếng với cái tên” – “Sa Pa has earned its reputation as”. When I read this sentence, I was confused to the word “earned” because we often say “earn money” or earn one’s living. So, I had to look up dictionary to find its extra meaning. I was actually surprise because it has another meaning in Vietnamese “giành được sự khen ngợi”. For this reason, using the word “earned” here can be accepted and it will take place of the word “become – a primary word”. In the sentence, the translators also replace the phrase “với cái tên” with “as”. Although we can translate “với cái tên” into “with the name”, the word “as” in this case is better because it will make the structure simpler and clearer. In generally, the version is good at word choice. Besides, although it has some changes in the order of words and structures, the idea and content of the version reach to the equivalence to the source text.


Assignment 2 (Source Vietnamnet.vn)

Vietnamese text:
Việt-Nga muốn có đối tác chiến lược thiết thực

Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao giữa Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng và người đồng nhiệm Mikhail Fradkov, hai bên khẳng định sẽ nỗ lực để phát triển mối quan hệ đối tác chiến lược một cách thiết thực và hiệu quả hơn.


English text:
Vietnam-Russia want to develop
practical strategic partnership

At the talks between Vietnamese Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung and his Russian counterpart, Mikhail Fradkov, the two sides confirmed that they would exert efforts to develop the strategic relationship more effectively and practically.

Comment:

This is the section of the article translated summarily into English. So, it focuses much on the main information and ideas instead of polishing words. In fact, the words in the English text are short, simple and clear because they are used in press language. In the first sentence, the orders of the words in English text do not change a lot in comparison with the Vietnamese text. However, there are some phrases in the English version need to be commented. In the title of the article: “Việt-Nga muốn có đối tác chiến lược thiết thực” – “Viet-Nga want to develop practical strategic partnership”. The expression” muốn có” is translated into “want to develop”, not “want to have”. Here, although it has a little change about the meaning, it can be accepted because the title should be understood “Viet-Nga want to have practical strategic for their developing about many fields. So, if we translate “muốn có” – “want to have”, it can not manifest adequately the meaning of the title. In press, people have a tendency to cut down long and complicated structures both in the title and sentences of the article. In the next sentence: “Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao” – “At the talks”. I think that it should not skip the word “cấp cao” because it refers to the particularity of the talks. Hence, if I were the translator, I would translate “Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao” into “At the high-ranking talks”. Another, in the phrase “hai bên”-“two sides”. I believe that the phrase “two sides” is rather informal. Therefore, it should be “two government officials”. Overall, the English text is good and informative but it is not very professional.

…………………The end…………….

Week 3
Doan Thi Thuy Hang
7044731
SPAV 01-K30
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn

Assignment 1
Paragraph 22
Page 24-25

After reading this paragraph, I find some interesting things to comment. With the first sentence: “Năm 1741, Nguyễn Hữu Cầu đã chọn Đồ Sơn làm căn cứ hải quân” – “In 1741, Nguyễn Hữu Cầu, selected Đồ Sơn as navy camp”. We know that in English and Vietnamese have different expressions. For instance, in the phrase “năm 1741” is translated into Vietnamese “in 1741”. In fact, people always use a preposition “in” before a year. We cannot translate “năm 1741” into “year 1741” because Vietnamese has no such a structure. Hence, It is important to translate time expressions for equivalence. The next phrase: “Chọn Đồ Sơn làm căn cứ hải quân” - “selected Đồ Sơn as navy camp”. In this case translators did not translate the word “làm”, on the contrary, they used the preposition “as”. This word choice is quite reasonable because in other case, people also prefer to use such a structure “I work as a teacher for many years”. Thus, in some cases, the translators can use a preposition instead of a verb. The last sentence, “the current custom of buffalo fights on the ninth day of the eight lunar month in conjunction with a festival for the Water God grew up a ceremony Nguyễn Hữu Cầu organized to encourage his soldiers ” – “Tục chọi trâu hiên nay vào ngày 9 tháng 8 Âm lịch cùng với lễ hội Thuỷ thần bắt nguồn từ một nghi lễ Nguyễn Hữu Cầu đã tổ chức để khích lệ binh lính của ông”. We can see that the order of constituents in English version is totally different from Vietnamese text. Actually, in Vietnamese we have structure “Noun +Adj” but in English is opposite “Adj + Noun”. So, “tục chọi trâu hiện nay” was translated into “the current custom”. Also, in English version, translators used the possessive form twice: “the current custom of buffalo fights”… “the ninth day of the eighth…”, in English, people use preposition to form a noun phrases and people are more likely to use the “of + noun form” with an inanimate form but in Vietnamese, people do not use these structures. So, when we translate English into Vietnamese, we often ignore preposition however when we translate Vietnamese into English, prepositions need to be considered. Also, in this sentence, I like the phrase “in conjunction with” – “cùng với”. If I were a translator, I just would use a very simple word “with”. In fact, in a comparison with the phrase “in conjunction with”, the former is better because it can express two events happened in the same time. Thus, I think I can learn this phrase for my translating. In this sentence I did not agree with the translator at “bắt nguồn từ một nghi lễ” –“grew from a ceremony”. In my opinion, it will be better if we change the phrase “grew from a ceremony” into “originated from a ceremony because the word “originated” has a closer meaning to the Vietnamese text. In general, the English version is good and I really like it,



Assignment 2 (Source: Vietnamnet.vn)


VietNamNet Bridge – The Phong Nha-Ke Bang National Park’s management board in Quang Binh province in central Vietnam has opened a zone for semi-wild primates.

This 20ha zone, which is funded by the Frankfurt Wildlife Preservation Association (Germany), worth US$98,000, is fenced off with a net.

This zone will be an ecological site serving scientific research, educating and improving people’s awareness of the need for protecting wildlife.

From now to the year’s end, the zone will receive 46 rare primates from Cuc Phuong national park.


Phong Nha - Kẻ Bàng có khu nuôi thả linh trưởng

Khu nuôi thả linh trưởng bán hoang dã do Hiệp hội bảo tồn động vật Frankfurt (Ðức) tài trợ với số tiền 98.000 USD vừa được Vườn quốc gia Phong Nha - Kẻ Bàng (Quảng Bình) đưa vào sử dụng. Khu này có diện tích 20 ha được bao bọc bởi hàng rào bằng lưới. Khu nuôi thả linh trưởng sẽ là khu sinh thái, nghiên cứu khoa học, tuyên truyền nâng cao nhận thức cho nhân dân trong việc bảo vệ động vật quý hiếm. Từ nay đến cuối năm, khu nuôi thả linh trưởng này sẽ tiếp nhận thêm 46 cá thể linh trưởng quý hiếm từ Vườn quốc gia Cúc Phương.


Comment:
After reading the English version in Vietnamnet, I have some comments:

In the first sentence: “Khu nuôi thả linh trưởng bán hoang dã do hiệp hội bảo tồn động vật Frankfurt (Đức) tài trợ với số tiền 98.000 USD vừa được đưa vào sử dụng tại vườn quốc gia Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng (Quảng Bình) – “the zone for semi-wild primates is funded by the Frankfurt Wildlife Preservation Assiciation (Germany), worth $8,000 has opened in Phong Nha-Kẻ Bàng national park in Quảng Bình provice in central Vietnam”. When reading this sentence, I like the way that translator translated the phase “linh trưởng bán hoang dã” into “semi-wild primates”. I think, to translate the word “bán”, “semi” is the best choice because people like to use this word in some similar cases: “semi-public or semi-official”. In fact, we cannot use the word “a half” to replace the word “semi”. The next sentence, it is an active form in Vietnamese text but in English version it changed into passive form. In general, it is more natural to put agent (subjects), which consists of long expression at the end of a sentence. In addition, translators used “relative clause – which”. Using this clause is to add extra information about a noun but in Vietnamese we do not use these structures. Although, source text and target text have totally different structures as well as the order of words, the meaning of source text is preserved. The next phrase: “với số tiền 98.000 USD” – “worth $ 98,000”. Here, there is an important thing to which should pay attention: the way we write the number in English and in Vietnamese are not the same. In fact, in English, people use “a comma – 98,000” but in Vietnamese we use “a point - 98.000”. Besides, the word “worth” lay an impression on me because its occurrence not only shows the equivalent meaning but also make the sentence decrease the complex of long structures comparing with Vietnamese text. Another “nhận thức cho nhân dân” –“people’s awareness”. In English, people are more likely to use the possessive’s form of a noun. However, we can use another form “awareness of people”. Two forms have the same meaning.

…………………The end…………….


Week 4
Doan Thi Thuy Hang
MSSV: 7044731
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn


Assignment 1 (Source Vietnamnet.vn)

Vietnamese text:
“Sáng 27/9, Bộ trưởng Hồ Nghĩa Dũng đã dành cho báo giới cuộc phỏng vấn, ngay tại hiện trường thảm họa sập cầu Cần Thơ. VietNamNet lược đăng lại cuộc phỏng vấn này:
- Có phải công trình này (cầu Cần Thơ) được nhà thầu chính chia nhỏ ra và bán cho các nhà thầu phụ không, thưa Bộ trưởng?
Theo nguyên tắc, nhà thầu chính có quyền chọn nhà thầu phụ!”

English version:

“Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about the bridge collapse case with the press at the site of incident. VietNamNet extracts this interview.

Reporter: main contractor split the Can Tho bridge project into small parts to re-sell to sub-contractors?

Mr. Dung: in principle, the main contractor can choose sub-contractors.”


I have some comments in the first section of the article:

In the first sentence: “Sáng 27/09, Bộ trưởng bộ giao thông vận tải Hồ Nghĩa Dũng đã dành cho báo giới cuộc phỏng vấn, ngay tại hiện trường thảm họa sập cầu Cần Thơ, VietNamNet lược đăng lại cuộc phõng vấn này” – “Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about the bridge collapse case with the press at the site of incident. VietNamNet extracts this interview.” We know that in English adverbs of time usually go in front or end position but in this sentence the phrase “sáng 27/09” – “this morning” goes in the mid position. Normally, such a usage is often used in press rather than normal writing. Thus, we can translate “this morning Minister of Transport spoke about…” or “Minister of Transport spoke about…this morning” or “Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about…” When reading English version, I am usually mindful of noun phrase translation. It is true that translating requires us to reconstruct the structure of the source language. To keep the meaning, we can change the structure to fit the target language. The basic English sentence pattern is formed by noun phrase. Among noun phrases, we often see the positive’s or of + noun with very little difference in meaning. So, the phrase “Bộ trưởng giao thông vận tải” is translated into “Minister of Transport”. This is totally exact. Also, this sentence has another noun phrase “the site of incident” – “hiện trường thảm họa”. In this case, we can use another ways to translate the phrase “hiện trường thảm họa” - “the incident’s site” but I think we should use the structure like the translator used in the article because we are more likely to use “of + noun” form to something that is not living. Another thing, the adverb of place “at the site of incident” goes in the end position instead of in the same position in the Vietnamese sentence. It is reasonable because people usually put them in the end position in English. Also, in the phrase “the bridge collapse case” has a combination between 3 nouns “bridge + collapse + case” to make a noun phrase. This will make the sentence diminish complicated and wordy structure. Another, the translator did not translate the word “thảm họa”, on the contrary, he used the word “case”. Suppose that if we translated “thảm họa sập cầu” – “the bridge collapse disaster/catastrophe”, I think it is unnatural because we often use disaster/catastrophe to talk about natural phenomenons. In the sentence, I like the word “extract” best. Frankly speaking if I had to translate the word “lược đăng” in English, it would be “VietNamNet report summarily this interview”. When comparing two translation ways, we can see the word “extract” is more reasonable and accurate. The next sentence “Có phải công trình này được nhà thầu chính chia nhỏ ra và bán cho các nhà thầu phụ không?” – “Has the main contractor split the Can Tho Bridge project into small parts to re-sell to sub-constractors.” In the Vietnamese text, the sentence is passive form but in English version it is active form. The choice between active and passive form allows us to present the same information in two different orders. In this case, two sentences have the same meaning. Hence, I do not talk much about them, I just focus much on the verb “split” – “chia”. In Vietnamese, we often say that “chia cái gì ra nhiều phần”, in English we have the same expression “split something into smaller parts. In English, verb goes with different preposition makes different meanings. The combination is numerous. In some cases, two languages have the same structures but they are in generally quite different each other. So, translating “verb + preposition” is as important as translating noun phrases.



Assignment 2
Page: 34-35
Paragraph 38
Việt Nam’s natural beauty

After reading the paragraph, I have three main comments:
Sở du lịch tỉnh Bà Rịa –Vũng Tàu” – “Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Province’s Tourist Service” Firstly, the distribution of the constituents in the Vietnamese noun phrases are absolutely different form English noun phrases. In the other case, people also translate “Ủy ban nhân dân thành phố Cần Thơ” into “Cần Thơ City people’s Committee”. However, we can translate this phrase by using “of form”: “the service of tourist of Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Province. The meaning is equivalent but the structure is rather complicated. So, I think Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Provice’s Tourist Service” is the best way.

Secondly, “phát triển nhiều hơn nữa các loại hình giải trí và tham quan, tạo thêm nhiều lựa chọn để làm hài lòng du khách đến thăm vùng đất này.” – “develop yet more entertainment and sight-seeing choices to make a trip to the region even more satisfying.” Here, we can see some words in Vietnamese text are skipped such as “loại hình”, “du khách”. In my opinion, we can translate this sentence in another way: “develop more entertainment and sight-seeing forms to bring satisfying choices to tourists who take a trip to the region”. Another, the word “yes” makes me a little confuse because I just use this word in sentences with present perfect form or in sentences that “yes” has the same meaning with “but”. I have not seen occurrence of “yes” in such position. I had to check dictionary for its meaning. I found down “yes” is an adverb and its meaning in Vietnamese “còn, hãy còn”. So, the word “yes” here is okay and it is also a good word choice.

Thirdly, “Tuy nhiên, các dịch vụ hiện tại cũng đã đủ để đảm bảo cho du khách có thể thư giản, vui chơi và thưởng thức môi trường thiên nhiên.” – “Nevertheless, current services are sufficient to ensure that visitors can relax, enjoy themselves, and appreciate the natural environment”. In English version, translators used “that - clause”. I think that using this structure is a good choice because when the situation described in the “that – clause” is a permanent situation, or still exists or is relevant at the time we like to use “that – clause”. Another good choice word is “appreciate”, we can use “enjoy” or “appreciate”, however, “appreciate” is better because it can avoid repeating the word “enjoy” many times. In generally, the English version is good one. I am interested in reading it.

…………………The end…………….


Week 6
Đoàn Thị Thúy Hằng
SPAV: 01-K30
MSSV: 7044731
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn



Assignment 1
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Page 84 – 85
Paragraph 108

After reading the paragraph 108, I have following comments:

In translation, we have more one way to translate source text into target text providing that we can keep the meaning in equivalence. So in the first sentence: “Thác này cách Đà Lạt 10 km” – “This waterfall ten kilometers from Đà Lạt” can be translated into some different ways such as “This waterfall is far from Đà Lạt 10 km”, “Situated some forty kilometers of Đà Lạt”, “This waterfall is located 10 kilometers from Đà Lạt”. These have the same meaning though their structures are different. Next, “và nổi tiếng với làn nước trắng xóa như một tấm màn bằng vải sa-tanh trắng rủ xuống chân cầu ở phía sau các ngọn thác” – “and is famous for its cascade – a white satin curtain falling over the foot-bridge located behind the falls.” In Vietnamese text, the writer use simile with the word “như” but in English version, the translator did not use such rhetorical method, on the contrary, he used hyphens “is famous for its cascade – a white satin curtain falling over the foot -”. I think it is a good way to emphasize the beauty of Prenn waterfall. To me, I will render this sentence into: “and famous for dazzling white cascade like white satin curtain falling over the foot-bridge behind the waterfall. Another, in English people use preposition “for” after the word “famous” but in Vietnamese, people use preposition “với” after the word “nổi tiếng”. So, we should care about using suitable prepositions when translating. Also, in the English version, we can confuse to the words “waterfall”, “cascade”. Although “cascade” and “waterfall” have similar meaning, in this case their meaning are slightly different. In fact, “waterfall” means a stream or river that falls from height, eg over rocks or a cliffs while “cascade” means a waterfall, esp one of several falling in stages down a steep slope with rocks. Moreover, in the English version, the writer also used the word “falls” to express the meaning “thác” in Vietnamese text. Using these different words help the English version more attractive and polished and the readers do not fell fed with up repeating words many times. So choosing these two words shows particular intention of the translator. In the last sentence, it has a change of expression in Vietnamese and English text. However, it does not cause any changes about meaning. In some cases, the translator can change expression if the meaning should be preserved. In general, the English version is good at both meaning and structures. I really like it.

Assignment 2 (Source Vietnamnet.vn)

Vietnamese text:
Tại buổi tiếp Đại sứ Nhật Bản Norio Hattori ngày 4/10, Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng nhấn mạnh, chính phủ Việt Nam - Nhật Bản phải có trách nhiệm giải quyết sự cố sập nhịp dẫn cầu Cần Thơ không để ảnh hưởng đến quan hệ giữa hai nước.
Thủ tướng nêu rõ, vấn đề đặt ra cho Chính phủ Việt Nam là phải sớm tìm cho được người mất tích cuối cùng, chăm lo chữa trị cho những người bị thương, trợ giúp cho những gia đình bị nạn kể cả trước mắt cũng như lâu dài.

English text:
The Vietnamese and Japanese governments must be held responsible for settling the Can Tho bridge collapse while ensuring it does not affect the two countries’ relationship, Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung told the Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam on October 4th.

PM Dung said the two governments should cooperate closely in searching for the last worker who is still missing, caring for the injured and aiding the families of the victims in both the short and long term.


After reading the article, I have some comments:

In the first sentence, the source text was written in “reporting statement” form. So, translator used equivalent form when translating into English. Generally, people often use such structure in press language. Next, the Vietnamese text “Tại buổi tiếp đại sứ Nhật Bản ngày 4/10, Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng nhấn mạnh” was translated into “ Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung told the Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam on October 4th”. In my opinion, although the meaning of the English version is not too different from the source text, the translator should translate both the phrase: “Tại buổi tiếp Đại sứ Nhật Bản Norio Hattori” and the word “nhấn mạnh”. This can make the English version more equivalent to Vietnamese text. To me, it should be “In a talk with Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam in October 4th, Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung emphasized…” In Vietnamese the meaning of “nói” and “nhấn mạnh” are absolutely different. However in this sentence, I have an interest in the phrase “must be held responsible for” best because the words “must” and “held” here show strong and firm statement of two governments’ opinion. Also, I pay attention to the word “while” in this sentence. We know that people use “while” to talk about two longer actions that go on at the same time. Particularly, in formal speech and writing, people can often leave out the subject + be in clauses with while if the main and subordinate clause refer to the same subject. So, using the word “while” in this case is reasonable and referable. Moreover, in press language, it requires the article should have condensed content and adequate information. Thus, people prefer to abridge long structures by using an –ing, past participle (-ed) or being + past participle (-ed) clause. In the last sentence, we can see such a structure. In my opinion, this English version can be accepted but it is not a good version because it preserves the meaning of the target text in relativity.

hong said...

MAI THI THU HONG MSSV:7044733 Group 01
thongoc_1411@yahoo.com or
(kiemdienkiemdien@gmail.com or
hong.7044733@ctu.edu.vn)
Dear teacher, I received your feedback for week4 so I post for week 6,4,3,2.
COMMENT WEEK6
From “ LUYEN DICH ANH_VIET, VIET_ANH”

Trong thế giới ngày nay, tình hình quốc tế nói chung đang bớt căng thẳng. Tuy nhiên các cuộc xung đột và thậm chí các cuộc nội chiến gây ra bởi các nguyên nhân khác nhau đang ngày càng gia tăng, và tình hình căng thẳng vẫn còn tồn tại trong một số khu vực. Tất cả điều này đã ngăn cản bước phát triển kinh tế của các quốc gia vá các khu vực có liên quan, và cũng gây ảnh hưởng bất lợi tới nền kinh tế thế giới. Tất cả các chính quyền và các chính khách có tinh thần trách nhiệm phải tôn trọng các mục đích của Hiến chương Liên Hiệp Quốc và các qui định liên quan đến mối quan hệ quốc tế đã được công nhận trên khắp thế giới và hoạt động vì hoà bình trên khắp thế giới, lâu dài và toàn diện. Không ai được phép gây căng thẳng hoặc xung đột vũ trang chống lại lợi ích của mọi người.

Today’s world, the international situation is, on the whole, moving toward relaxation. However, conflicts and even local wars triggered by various factors have kept cropping up, and tension still remains in some areas. All this has impeded the economic development of the countries and responsible statesmen and governments must abide by the purposes of the UN Charter and the universally acknowledge norms governing international relations, and work for a universal, lasting and comprehensive peace. Nobody should be allowed to cause tension and armed conflicts against the interests of the people.
COMMENT
This paragraph is about the world’s peace in economy. The first sentence, “tình hình quốc tế nói chung đang bớt căng thẳng” is translated “the international situation is moving toward relaxation”, “bot cang thang” is “moving towards relaxation”. Why the author doesn’t use “reduce intension”, I think because “tension” is really necessary in the after sentences and he doesn’t want to repeat “tension” many time, it will make the paragraph be redundant. And “moving relaxation” can keep the meaning and can emphasize the idea “bot cang thang”.
The second sentence, “cac cuoc noi chien” is “ local wars”, I think “civil wars” is also a good way to translate “cuoc noi chien”. “các cuộc xung đột và thậm chí các cuộc nội chiến gây ra bởi các nguyên nhân khác nhau đang ngày càng gia tăng”, “gay ra” is “trigger”, he doesn’t use “cause”. I think “trigger” is stronger than “cause” so it can covey the idea more suitable. Besides, “ngay cang gia tang” is “cropping up”, he doesn’t use “increase”. “keep cropping up” means “ lien tuc xay ra”, so it can emphasize the international tension. About the structure, he doesn’t use passive voice here. I think “conflicts and local wars” should use in passive. If we use in active, we can understand that conflicts and local wars cause some factors, it is not exactly. I change this sentence like this:
“ Conflicts and even civil wars were triggered by various factor have kept cropping up”
The next sentence, I translate “khu vuc co lien quan” is “concerned region” not “region concerned”. In this sentence, I study some new words such as “tat ca cac chinh quyen va chinh khach” is “all responsible statesmen and government” or “ Hien chuong Lien Hiep Quoc” is “ The Un Charter”. “ Ton trong” is “abide by”, he doesn’t use “respect”, I think “respect” often use for human, in this case “the purpose of the UN Charter”, using “abide by” means “tuan thu” is more reasonable. The rest of this sentence is translate very professionally, “các qui định liên quan đến mối quan hệ quốc tế đã được công nhận trên khắp thế giới và hoạt động vì hoà bình trên khắp thế giới, lâu dài và toàn diện” is “the universally acknowledge norms governing international relations, and work for a universal, lasting and comprehensive peace”.
The last sentence, I appreciate that “xung dot vu trang” is “armed conflicts”. “ Loi ich cua moi nguoi” he uses “interests of the people”. I don’t know the reason why the author use “interest” here because “interest” means “ moi quan tam”, it is not suitable here, I think using “benefit” is better way.
In conclusion, I can study a lot in this paragraph especially new vocabulary and flexible way to translate. This paragraph is translated very skillfully and professionally.

Paragraph 48
With fives sentences in this paragraph, the author descried in Sapa. The first sentence, “ben kia cau” is “on the other end of the bridge”. Why don’t the author uses “ on the other side of the bridge”?. I think “ side” means “mat”, “two sides” can have a same point in somewhere , but two sides of the bridges are divided by a river and “ on the other side of the river” , the bridge end so “ end is used exactly. I like the way the author translate “ con ho vo moi”, it is “ a tiger ready to jump its prey.
The next sentence, I study “ phia xa xa” is “on the far side”. “ vo van loai hoa lan dai” is “ abundance of wild orchids”, the word “abundance” help the reader imagine thousand of orchids there.
The next one, “ khoang 5-6km”, we don’t need to translate “ khoang” here because it’s Vietnam spoken language. “200 tang da duoc cham khac” is “ two hundred engraved stones”, he combines the ideas to form a phrase very skillfully.
The next one, “ di san the gioi” is “world heritage site”, I think “world heritage” means “di san the gioi”, we don’t need “site” here. In addition, I study a phrase that is “ dang xem xet de cong nhan” is “considering it for recognition”.
The last one, I learn that “ hoa van” is “motifs” and “nha san” is “stilt house”. He translates “co ten” is “ bear”, he doesn’t use “call”. I think using “bear” make the sentence is smooth, the stones is like human.
In conclusion, this paragraph is translated very skillfully especially the using of noun phrase. By giving comment this paragraph, I study some vocabulary and some tips to translate.
COMMENT WEEK4
PARAGRAPH50
This paragraph is about the animals in Phan Xi Pang. The first sentence, “Tại độ cao cao nhất Việt Nam này cóthể nhìn thấy một quần thể động thực vật độc đáo” is” a unique assemblage of plants and animals lives here at Vietnam’s highest altitude”. He used “assemblage” for “ quần thể”, I think “community” is better because “assemblage” means a group, it’s smaller than “community”, but here it concludes “animals and plants”, so “community” is more suitable.
The next one, I learn the word “dia hat” is “realm”. And “dãy Hiamlaya thu nhỏ lại ở cuối cùng cực đông” is “Himalayas taper to the eastern_most terminus”,I study the words “taper” and “terminus” which are used reasonable and help the reader can image the shape of Himalaya.
The next one, “ những ngọn nui cao ngất này là nơi sinh sống của các loài động thực vật quí hiếm”, but in English version doesn’t have any word which means “động thực vật quí hiếm”. There is only “ these high peaks support life forms “. In addition, “nhung ngon nui cao ngat nay” is “the high peaks”, we know that “peak” is “dinh nui” which is the highest part of a mountain”. Indeed, the author doesn’t use “mountain” but use “peak” to describe the height of the mountain and express “cao ngat”. “The last one is very simple, the writer reduces the relative pronoun here, the sentence is more coherent.
In general, these version have close meaning and English text is not translated word by word in comparative with Vietnamese one. Four sentences of this paragraph are not translated very professionally but the author chooses the word very skillfully.
From “Trendy 3”
Assistant_teaching is very familiar to the practicing teachers. Nowadays, it’s a part_time job that students dream of. The youth think that study and work is a good way of combining “ theory and practice”. This helps improve their study , and be active at work because they hope to accumulate experiences for their future jobs.
Công tác trợ giảng vốn đã rất quen thuộc với những giáo vien thực tập và hiện nay lại là công việc bán thời gian mơ ước cho các du học sinh. Giớ trẻ ngày nay xem việc vừa học vừa làm chính là một cách kết hợp học đi đôi với hành. Họ không chỉ đạt được nhiều thành tích trong học tập mà còn rất năng động trong công việc, với mong muốn tích lũy kinh nghiệm cho nghề nghiệp tương lai của mình.
COMMENT
This paragraph is about assistant_teaching. The first sentence, in Vietnamese text, there are only one sentence but in English, it’s divided into two sentences. I appreciate to translate to be one sentence. Can I reduce the second clause to be a phrase, so I translate this sentence like this:
“Assitant_teaching is very familiar to the practicing teachers and it’s, nowadays, a dream part time job of many abroad students.”
The second sentence, “vua hoc vua lam” is “study and work”, the reader can understand the ideas but it’s not the best way to translate. We have “vua A vau B” is “both A and B”, so “vua hoc vua lam” is “both study and work”. I appreciate “hoc di doi voi hanh” is “theory and practice”.
The last sentence is translated very flexible, “họ không chỉ đạt được nhiều thành tích trong học tập mà còn rất năng động trong công việc” is “this helps improve their study , and be active at work”. But I think if we keep the order in Vietnamese text, it’s quite good. I translate like this
“It helps students not only improve their study but also be active at work”
The rest of this sentence, “voi mong muon” is because they hope”. It’s unnecessary when the author use “because” here, if without “because”, this sentence is easier to understand.
In general, by giving comments this paragraph, I can study some good ways and bad ways when translating. This paragraph is very easy to understand and is suitable for the reader of all level.
COMMENT WEEK 3
From “ Cẩm nang luyện dịch và Ngữ pháp Tiếng Anh”
How can I forget those clear and vivid impressions which bloomed in my heart as fresh smiling flowers in a serene and crystalline sky.I have never noted down those impressions, because I could not write in those days and nowadays I can’t remembers all details. However, every time I see some little boys timidly hide themselves, my heart is again overwhelmed with excitement and agitation.
Tôi quên thế nào được những cảm giác trong sáng ấy nẩy nở trong long tôi như mấy cánh hoa tươi mim cười giữa bầu trời quang đãng. Những ý tưởng ấy tôi chưa lần nào ghi lại vì hồi đó tôi chưa biết ghi và ngày nay tôi không nhớ hết , nhưng mỗi lần thấy mấy đứa em nhỏ rụt rè nép dưới nón mẹ lần đầu tiên cắp sách đến trường, long tôi lại tưng bừng rộn rã.
COMMENT
This paragraph is extracted from “Toi di hoc”, famous works of Thanh Tinh. The first sentence, he described his feeling on the first day he went to school. To convey the poem’s feeling the translator uses exclamation sentence,” How can I forget” is “ Toi quen the nao duoc”. And “cam giac trong sang ay” is “ clear and vivid”, we see only “ clear”, we can understand “ trong sang”, but he uses “ clear and vivid” to emphasize the poem’s feeling. I appreciate that “nay no” is “bloom”, “bloom” is very suitable with “flowers” after that. In this sentence, I can study “bau troi quang dang” is “a serene and crystalline sky”.
The next sentence, “ y tuong ay toi chua lan nao ghi tren giay” is “ I have never noted down those impressions”. He uses “impressions” again, I think the first “impression” means “ cam giac” is used very successfully, because I think at that time, using “feeling” is not enough strong to describe his memory. However, the second one, we should use another words such as thought or feeling. In Vietnamese version, we have “ ghi tren giay”, but in English the author doesn’t translate that prase. I think the author uses “note down”, it can include the meaning of “ ghi tren giay”. In the rest of this sentence, “ hoi do toi chua biet ghi” is “I could not write in those days”, I will use “ I didn’t know how to write”. But I think both ways are good.
I can study many things in the last sentence. Firstly, “ rut re nep duoi non me” is “ timidly hide themselves”, we can see that the author doesn’t translate “duoi non me” so the reader can’t imagine the scene exactly. As we know, the image of a child timidly hides themselves behind their mother with “non la” is very familiar to Vietnamese. I appreciate when the author use “overwhelm” to convey the poem’s feeling. Overwhelm means over power with emotion, it can transform the ideas in Vietnamese text. One more thing, I study that “tung bung ron ra” is “excitement and agitation”
In conclusion, I recognize that it’s very difficult to translate literature works but the author did very well.
PARAGRAPH 14
This paragraph has only three sentences and it’s describe sunset in HA Long bay. The first sentence, I appreciate that “stretch out” means “ trai dai” is use very reasonable. When we heard “stretch out”, we can imagine that the shadow is lengthened more and more, so the scene is larger and more romantic. It’s very suitable when the author translate “ dot ngot” is “suddenly”. In addition the combination of the color make up the scene, “mau xanh xam” is “grey blue” and “do sam” is “crimson”.
The next sentence, I learn the phrase “chi trong giay lat” is “for an instant”. And “phong canh” is “landscape”, I think “landscape” means a general place, but in this case, the author describe a mountain and the scene around it, it’s very specific” so “scene” is more suitable”. The last one, “luc trang len” is “ climbs into the sky”, the author doesn’t use “raise” but “climb”, he uses personification for the moon, it helps the scene become more lively.
“Mat bien nhu duoc trang mot lop bac cung voi anh den lap lanh” is “coated with silver, with the lights”. The English version lacks of the word “lap lanh”, it’s complement for “the lights”, it make up the beauty of the scene. One more thing, I study that “hắt” is “reflect off”.
In brief, this paragraph has some good point and weak point. So, we can see that translation is not easy, we must know how to use words and structure flexibly to make a good version.
COMMENT WEEK2
PARAGRAPH 61
This paragraph describes the animals in Cuc Phuong national park. The first sentence has some noticeable points. Firstly, “di san cac loai chim” is “birding”, the author only uses one word “bird” to translate for “di san cac loai chim”. If we translate word by word, it is “ hunting many kind of birds”. However, I think it’s not very suitable if we use “hunt” here, because no one has a right to hunt animals in national park. Besides, only “bird”, it can conclude the meaning of “many kind of birds”. Secondly, in English text, the author gives the place “beyond the park gates”, but in Vietnamese doesn’t have.
The second sentence, instead of using “there are thousand of silver pheasant and jungle fowl”, he uses “ silver pheasants and jungle fowl are plentiful. By that way, the author can emphasize the kind of birds and the amount of birds.
The next sentence, I study that “ nam trong vung dam lay” is “ outcrop surrounded by wetland”.
The next one “chở” is “row”, the author doesn’t use “take” because “row “ is very suitable with “ the small boat” after. I appreciate when the author uses “ the rock” here. Because “rock” mens “nui da” not “ nui noi chung” is “mountain.
The next sentence, I study that “loai linh truong co nguy co tueyt chung cao” is “ a critically endangered primate”. In Vietnamese version is “song tren day nui Pu Luong” but in English is “ Cuc Phuong- Pu Luong”, it’s not cleae, the reader can think that Cuc Phuong belongs to Pu LUong.
The last one, in English text, the author shows the time is “ in the late afternoon”, but in Vietnamese, we don’t have. We can see to translate this paragraph, the author know very cl;early about Cuc Phuong.
In conclusion, this paragraph is very easy to understand and it’s for readers of all level. After giving comment six sentences of this paragraph, I can study when translating, we should know something about the ojective or the context, it’s a foundation for to translate exactly and lively.

From “ LUYEN DICH ANH_VIET, VIET_ANH”
Tuy nhiên ở một số nơi trên thế giới vẫn còn tồn tại vài nhóm người vì quyền lợi cá nhân mà luôn gây ra căng thẳng. điều này đi ngược lại nguyện vọng của đa số nhân dân thế giới và chống lại xu hướng phát triển của thời đại. chỉ khi nào không ngừng nổ lực xúc tiến sự nghiệp hào bình và phát triển nhăm đảm bảo rằng mọi người khắp thế giới an cư lạc nghiệp tập trung phát triển kinh tế và đổi mới khoa hoc kĩ thuật chúng ta mới cóthể tạo ra nhu cầu thị trường khổng lồ và thuc đẩy kinh tế phát triển.
There’re still in this world a few interest groups which always want to seek against by creating tension here and there. This is against the will of majority of the people and against the trend of the times. An enormous market demand can be created and economic prosperity promoted only when continued efforts are made to advance the cause of peace and development to ensure that people around the world live and work in peace and contentment and focus on economic development and nonscientific and technological innovation.
COMMENT
This paragraph has only three sentences but it has many thing for me to study. The first sentence, the relative pronoun here is “which”, I think it’s replaced for “ a few interest groups”, so “who” is more suitable than “which”. I also learn the phrase “seek again” means “doi quyen loi”. One more thing, “luon gay ra cang thnag” is “create tension here and there”. “here and there” is used very strange. I think, it can emphasize “luon gay ra cang thang”.
The second sentence, I learn two phrase, “dai da so nhan dan the gioi” is “majority of the people” and “xu huong cua thoi dai” s the trend of the times”.
The last sentence is very long, I learn that “ chi khi nao moi” is “ only when”. This sentence is translated very professionally and flexibly.” Nhu cau thi truong khong lo va thuc day kinh te phat trine” is translated first and is the head of the sentence. He changes the orders and combines very creatively. One more thing, “an cu alc nghiep” is “live and work in peace and contentment”.
In conclusion, only three sentences of this paragraph,they can help the reader know many things about the international intension. The author translates very professionally and skillfully. After giving comments this paragraph, I can study many vocabularies, using phrase as well as a new way to translate.

Mai Thi Thu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phan Thang said...

Week 2
Name: Phan Việt Thắng
Code: 7044739
Email: phanvietthangctu@gmail.com
Source: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
(Paragraph 13)

Comments:
The first sentence has two noticeable points. Firstly, the translator used “grottoes and caves” to mean, “hang động”. This seems to be a big difference between Vietnamese and English. Instead of just using “caves” to mean, “hang động”, we must use “grottoes and caves” separately to indicate 2 different things: “hang” and “động”. In Vietnamese, we can say, “hang động” in place of “hang và động”. On the contrary, we must say “ grottoes and caves” in English. Secondly, in Vietnamese original text, we have “Hạ Long có nhiều hang động “. Perhaps, a normal translator will translate like “ Ha Long has many grottoes and caves”. Here the translator used the phrase “a rich collection of” in place of “many”, which sounds a little bit more idiomatic. I like this way of translating because it is not easy to think of such a very good phrase. Thirdly, the translator used “concentrated” as a past participle meaning as an adjective and it has a passive voice. Actually, these grottoes and caves are arranged in an area to be protected by the UNESCO. Therefore, we cannot say, “concentrating” though in Vietnamese source text, it sounds a little bit active, “phần lớn tập trung “. In fact, “grottoes and caves” cannot concentrate because they are objects without mind - possessing. This point seems to be very interesting and it gives us some experience. In short, there are some differences between Vietnamese and English in the way of expressing ideas that we, as translators, should notice carefully to have a good translation.
In the second sentence, the translator used “feels” to say, “Thien Cung Grotto feels modern and refined” that seems to be not very appropriate. Usually we use the verb “feel” for humans whereas this is just a grotto. I think “looks” is better than “feels” in this case. From this we can see that word choice is very important since it decides the meaning of the sentence. Also in this sentence, the translator used “Heavenly Palace Grotto”, “Timber-Hiding Cave” and “Amazing Cave” to modify “ động Thiên Cung”, “động Đầu Gỗ” and “động Sửng Sốt”. This helped to clarify the meaning of the caves and, therefore, is easy for readers to understand the ideas. So, in translation we need to make clear for the proper names. In addition, the second sentence also marked the success of the translator in using good word choice. For examples, the word “ample”, “grandiose” and “deeply secretive” are good words to mean “rộng lớn”, “hùng vĩ” and “đầy bí ẩn” in Vietnamese.
The third sentence showed another difference between Vietnamese and English. In Vietnamese source text, we say “Hang Trinh Nữ and Hang Trống”, but in English we just say “Trinh Nữ and Trống Grottoes”. The word “Hang” was repeated twice in the Vietnamese version while there was just one in the English version. The experience is that we need to shorten or paraphrase Vietnamese phrases into English where necessary.
The last sentence shows an excellent word choice. The translator used “architectural creation” to mean “tác phẩm kiến trúc “. If we use “novel or writing,” to mean “tác phẩm “, it would be nonsense and inappropriate because we are talking about “architecture”, not “literature”. Though “creation”, “novel” or “writing” all mean “tác phẩm” in Vietnamese, “creation” is the best choice in this case. We are usually affected by the interference of Vietnamese in translating Vietnamese into English. That is also known as “word- for- word translation” in which we arrange words that have the same meaning with the English words into a sentence. As a word in English has many meanings in certain situations, we usually make mistakes in transforming inappropriate meaning.
In conclusion, the paragraph is translated very well, especially the word choice. Choosing good words in translating is so difficult, but if we can we will make our translation more interesting and impressive.

Part 2:
Vietnamese text:
(Source: “English – Vietnamese Translation” by Nguyen Thanh Duc).
“Tối 9 tháng 2 tại thành phố Hạ Long đã diễn ra lễ công bố Năm du lịch Hạ Long 2003. Thay mặt chính phủ, với tư cách Trưởng ban chỉ đạo nhà nước về du lịch, Phó Thủ Tướng Vũ Khoan phát biểu nhấn mạnh Năm du lịch Hạ Long 2003 còn là Năm du lịch Việt nam”.
English text:
“In the evening of 9th Feruary, a festival of proclaiming 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was celerated in Ha Long city. Presenting the government, Vice Prime Minister Vu Khoan is the capital as leader of the National Steering Committee on Tour remarkably declared that 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was also Viet Nam Tour Year.”
Comments:
This is a very short paragraph that just includes two sentences, but it has many things to learn from.
The first sentence shows a big difference between Vietnamese and English. In Vietnamese, passive voice is not commonly used. The main verb of the first Vietnamese source sentence is “diễn ra”, but what “diễn ra”? The answer is “lễ công bố Năm du lịch Hạ Long 2003”, but itself obviously cannot “diễn ra”. Infact, people celebrated it and it “được diễn ra”. So, in the English version, the translator used “was celebrated” with its subject is “a festival of proclaiming 2003 Ha Long Year Tour” is very appropriate. This is a noticeable point since it occurs frequently in Vietnamese. As a translator, we must be concerned with this because of the difference between the two languages.
The second sentence shows a redundancy in the English version. We can use “as the leader of the National Steering Committee on Tour” as a subordinate clause instead of adding, “is the capital as leader of”. “As” only can express the phrase “với tư cách” in Vietnamese. The translator used “the capital as” which aims to mean “với tư cách” sounds a little bit “Vietnamese”. Thus, then, we can say: “ Presenting the government, as the leader of the National Steering Committee, Vice Prime Minister Vu Khoan remarkably declared that 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was also Viet Nam Tour Year.”
However, there is a very good point in the second sentence of both Vietnamese and English version. The sentence would be very long if we translate like, “Vice Minister Vu Khoan presented the government as the leader of the National Steering Committee on Tour and remarkably declared that 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was also Viet Nam Tour Year”. To shorten this sentence or this idea, in the Vietnamese text we have, “Thay mặt chính phủ” and in the English version we have, “Presenting the government”. Obviously, the sentence includes just one main idea, “Vice Prime Minister Vu Khoan remarkably declared that 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was also Viet Nam Tour Year” and one supporting idea, “He presented the government”. Therefore, the translator used “gerund” functioning as a subject to begin the sentence and introduce the supporting idea first. I like this way of translating because it helps shorten the sentence and make it smooth. So what we learn from this point is that if the source sentence is written with a conjunction like “and”, we can shorten it in this way.
In short, the paragraph is well - translated though, in my opinion, it should be improved a little bit. There are some points that show the difference as well as the similarity between Vietnamese and English that we should notice when translating.

Week 3
Name: Phan Việt Thắng
Code: 7044739
Email: phanvietthangctu@gmail.com
Source: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
(Paragraph 26)

Comments
The paragraph includes just 4 sentences, but it has many noticeable points to discuss.
In the first sentence, the translator used a relative clause, “which is sixty kilometers from Hue city” that supports the noun “Cảnh Dương” very clearly. To me, this is a very good point because if we do not use a relative clause here and the sentence will be very long that looks like, “Canh Duong is sixty kilometers from Hue city and is widely regarded as the most beautiful beach of Thua Thien Hue province”. Instead of saying that, using relative clause can help us to arrange the sentence more logical and, therefore, make it smooth. Let’s examine:
“Canh Duong, which is sixty kilometers from Hue city, is widely regarded as the most beautiful beach of Thua Thien Hue province”
However, in my opinion, the use of “widely”, also in the first sentence, is unnecessary since it changes the meaning of the source text a little bit. It is tolerable, but if we want to keep the exact meaning of the source text, we should not use such that word. In fact, in the English version we do not need the word “widely”.
Next, in the second sentence, I think we should use “ The eight-kilometer long beach” instead of “ The eight kilometers of beach” because we are talking about the beach, not its length.
The translation is, on the whole, very well. However, there are some problems that need to be improved. For example, “The beach is sheltered” in the third sentence totally has a different meaning with that of “ It is a safe shelter”, perhaps, for other objects such as animals or people. “The beach is sheltered” would mean that other things shelter it. Look at the Vietnamese version and we can see clearly the difference:
“Bãi biển là chỗ trú an toàn”
The last sentence is too long because the translator used two adjectives “popular” and “famous” at the same time to express just one thing. We can use “foreign and domestic tourists (or visitors) instead of “tourists, and, then “local residents alike”. We can also use either “popular” or “famous” rather than using both these two words that sounds repetitive.
So, we can shorten this sentence, at least this way:
“Cảnh Dương is popular with foreign and domestic tourists for its many sporting activities”.
In this case we see clearly the “and effect”. When using “and” to link two ideas, the sentence will become very long. So, if we can we should paraphrase it to make it short and smooth as the suggestion above.
Part2

Vietnamese text
(Source: “English – Vietnamese Translation” by Nguyen Thanh Duc).

“Không thể phủ nhận về thành tựu phát triển của Việt Nam trong năm vừa qua, đặc biệt là về các chỉ số phát triển kinh tế nhưng các bạn hãy nhìn sang các nước láng giềng của mình là Trung Quốc-họ đang phát triển rất nhanh chóng. Do đó, nếu trong năm 2003 Việt Nam không đẩy mạnh tốc độ phát triển kinh tế hơn nữa thì sẽ rất khó rút ngắn được khoảng cách giữa Việt Nam và các nước khác trong khu vực cũng như trên thế giới.”
English text
“It’s impossible to deny the achievement in development of Viet Nam last year, especially the indices of economic development. However, please have a look at our neighbor country China. It is under rapid development. As a result, if Viet Nam doesn’t speed up the economic development growth in 2003, it’s very hard to shorten the gap between Viet Nam and other countries in the region as well as in the world.”
Comments:
In the Vietnamese source text, we just have 2 sentences whereas in the English version we have 4. That shows the difference between Vietnamese language and English language in the way of expressing the ideas. The sentence “ Họ đang phát triển rất nhanh chóng” is an example. “Họ” here means “Chinese people”, but when we translate into English, we cannot say, “ They are under rapid development”. The reason is that we want to say, “Chinese people are having a rapid development” rather than “They are developing”. Therefore, the use of “it” in this sense is very good and appropriate. We should, therefore, understand clearly the Vietnamese text before translating. In addition, it’s a good translation to use the phrase “under a rapid development” to mean “đang phát triển nhanh chóng”. It sounds more professional than “is developing rapidly”.
In the English version, the sentence, “However, please have a look at our neighbor country China” sounds like spoken English. It also has a mistake with “neighbor” in stead of using “neighboring” because “neighbor” indicates a person.
We also cannot write “China” alone like this. Because of modifying the preceding noun phrase “neighboring country”, it needs a hyphen “-“ before it. Just as a suggestion, we can improve the sentence like, “However, let’s have a glance at our neighboring country-China, it is under rapid development.
The last sentence is, on the whole, translated well. However, using “As a result” and “speed up” to mean, “do đó” and “đẩy mạnh” are not very appropriate. It is less serious to replace “As a result” by “Therefore” or “So” and more professional to replace “speed up” by “ boost”. Let’s examine:
If we use “as a result” it seems that Vietnam should boost the economic development just because we want to catch sight of China. Using “therefore” would be more appropriate that mean we should consider China as a good example to follow to enhance the economic development growth.
Also in the last sentence, we see that it look like a word-for-word translation because all the words in the Vietnamese version are translated into English without any missing. Any way, the sentence is good since it can convey the meaning smoothly and easy for readers to understand.
Although there are some points that need to be improved, the paragraph is translated well. There are also some good phrases to learn such as “economic development” or “ under rapid development”. The paragraph also gave us a good experience in using noun phrases in translation.

Week 4
Name: Phan Việt Thắng
Code: 7044739
Email: phanvietthangctu@gmail.com
Source: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
(Paragraph 27- Lăng Cô Beach)

Comments
This was, in my opinion, a very good translation piece. The paragraph was translated very smooth, short enough, understandable and still professional.
By recognizing that the first sentence mentions different information about Lăng Cô Beach’s length and location, the translator intelligently used relative clause that is very suitable. Let’s examine:
“Lăng Cô Beach, which is ten kilometers long, borders Highway 1A and is near Hải Vân Pass.”
In the above sentence we see that “borders Highway 1A and is near Hai Van pass” is the main idea while “is ten kilometers long”, a subordinate clause. Therefore, the translator ordered them in very good positions by using relative clause. It is useful for us to apply this skill in later translation in case there are many ideas modifying just one noun. In my opinion, since Vietnamese sentences tend to be very long that contains many ideas at the same time, using relative clauses is a good choice.
In the Vietnamese version the author used “chiều dài” as a noun. When translating into English, the translator used “long” as an adjective, but it still remains the same idea and makes the sentence different in style. That’s a good point since in English the use of “styles” is very common.
It’s also very good when the translator used the phrase “Stork Village” to modify for “Lăng Cô” because Vietnamese people know well what “Lăng Cô” means, but other readers may not know. That is the case of proper names in translation. In fact, keeping these proper names without any specifications is acceptable. However, as we can see the specification helps readers a lot in better understanding the translation.
In the last sentence, amateur translators may translate the phrase “làm cho Lăng Cô trở thành 1 bãi tắm lý tưởng cho các gia đình” into “make Lăng Cô become an ideal swimming beach for families”. It seems okay, but not very stylish, normal and Vietnamese-like. Instead of that, our translator shortened the phrase by using noun phrases, keeping the same meaning. Let’s have a look at this phrase:
“make Lăng Cô ideal for family swims”. The translator avoided word –for –word translation. It is not easy to know how to apply such the phrase “family swims” in this situation since it is very different from Vietnamese. At first, I feel very surprised with this phrase but I understand it and I think it is a very good one. It can be explained why I am surprised because just two words “family swims” can express all the meaning of “bãi tắm cho các gia đình” in Vietnamese. From this we can see that English sentences are not very long since they use very short phrases but these phrases can convey all the meaning.
I just see one problem in this paragraph with the phrase “fishing village” that the translator used. “Fishing” does not fit the meaning of “chài lưới” in Vietnamese. However, it is tolerable. And here, the translator might have forgotten to emphasize that this is a “well-know fishing village, not a normal fishing village”, as the Vietnamese text tells us.
The sentence that I like best is sentence number 5, “The sloping beach of white sand has a large area of water that is less then one meter in depth”. You may easily recognize that the word “sloping” was a very good word that best expressed the meaning of “dốc thoai thoải” in Vietnamese. It helps the readers to imagine how the scene was described. The sentence also introduced us some good phrases as tips to translate from Vietnamese into English such as “less than” or “in depth”. They best describe the two phrases “không đến” and “sâu” in Vietnamese. The structure, “that less than one meter in depth” is far different from the structure “sâu không quá một mét” in Vietnamese. In fact, an unexperienced translator may translate the structure like “that is less than one meter deep”. Here we see that the translator used “in depth”, which is very professional.

Part 2.
Source: (SELECTIONS OF VIETNAMESE – ENGLISH
TRANSLATIONS IN FOCUS
Caring for children’s health, by Nguyen Thanh Tam)
Vietnamese text:
“Thật không dễ dàng đối với các bậc cha mẹ khi nhận biết con mình đau thật sự và khi nào thì cần đưa đến bác sĩ. Hơn nữa bố mẹ thường lo lắng rằng có nên đưa bé đi khám bác sĩ không, và sự lo lắng về bé là vô căn cứ. Mặc dù rất thông cảm, bác sĩ cũng nhận ra sự phán xét về sức khỏe của bé là do bố mẹ, vậy nên bạn hãy tin vào những quan sát của chính mình, và hãy đưa bé đến bác sĩ khám khi bạn thấy cần thiết.”
English text:
“It is not very easy for a parent to know when his or her child is truly ill and in need of a doctor’s attention. In addition, parents worry that they will be bothering the doctor unnecessarily and that their anxiety for their child is unfounded. Although this is understandable, doctors have long been convinced that the best judge of a child’s health is the parents, so be confident in your own observations and go to the doctor when you feel it necessary.”
Comments:
At first, we can say that the paragraph was translated very well. The English version is very easy for readers to understand. The translator did not use many complex words, partly because of the familiarity of the words in the text. That helps readers not to be confused while reading. However, not because of that the translation piece lacks of its originality.
Then, the translator did well on the word choice. For example, I think, the word “bothering” is used very original. In comparison with the Vietnamese source text, the English phrase is not very equivalent, but the meaning is remained idiomatically,
“Bố mẹ thường lo lắng rằng có nên đưa bé đi khám bác sĩ không….”
And “Parents worry that they will be bothering the doctor unnecessary…”
That the translator changed the way of translating is suitable because the Vietnamese phrase is so ambiguous. “Đi khám bác sĩ” means going to see the doctor for some treatment, not to check the doctor’s health. The translator avoided translating word- for- word that would have some problems in meaning.
Using nouns instead of verbs is also a good way to translate. Here, the translator wrote “in need of a doctor’s attention” idiomatically meaning that “need to go to see a doctor” like in the Vietnamese phrase, “cần đưa đến bác sĩ”.
Another original choice is the word “judge”. The translator used this word to express the idea that parents are only ones who know clearly about their children’s illness. Once again, the above translation piece could be considered as much idiomatic as it can be, but it is good and acceptable.
The last sentence is so long since it seem to be translated word-for-word. Usually Vietnamese people say or write a very long sentence without caring much about its mistakes in grammar. However, when we translate it into English we must put the ideas of the sentence in correct positions and correct grammar. Here the translator also translated naturally and did not pay attention to grammar. The sentence should be divided into two smaller sentences as follows:
“Although this is understandable, doctors have long been convinced that the best judge of a child’s health is the parents. So be confident in your own observations and go to the doctor when you feel it necessary.”
There is one noticeable point in the last sentence which comes from the phrase “go to the doctor when you feel it necessary”. It does not mean exactly as in Vietnamese, “đưa bé đến khám bác sĩ”. However, it is enough for readers to understand that “go to the doctor (with your child) when you feel it necessary”
Anyway I like this translation piece even though the translator used a very idiomatic way to express the idea that makes the translation go a little bit far away from the meaning of the source text. We can easily recognize that this is a kind of idiomatic translation where translators use a very free way to translate. The most important thing is that the translation must fulfill its role in transferring the idea.

Week 5
Name: Phan Việt Thắng
Code: 7044739
Email: phanvietthangctu@gmail.com
Source: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
(Paragraph 29)

Comments
The paragraph just includes two sentences in both the Vietnamese version and the English version, but it has many noticeable points to talk about.
Firstly, the sentence, “Bãi biển Đại Lãnh, cách Nha Trang 8 km về phía bắc và gần Quốc lộ 1, rất nổi tiếng trong suốt lịch sử với cát trắng và thông biển” is structured with a subordinate clause, surrounded by 2 commas, “cách Nha Trang 8 km về phía bắc và gần Quốc lộ 1” that helps the translator easily recognize the necessity of using a relative clause to form the same sentence:
“Đại Lãnh Beach, which is eighty kilometers north of Nha Trang and close to Highway 1, has been famous throughout history for its white sands and sea-pine trees”. Once again we see the importance of using relative clauses to separate the main idea from the subordinate one. The idea that “ Đại Lãnh Beach has been famous throughout history with its white sands and sea-pine trees” is more important than that “it is eighty kilometers north of Nha Trang and close to Highway 1”. So, recognizing the structure of the Vietnamese version well can help translators to create appropriate English translation version.
Secondly, in term of word choice, the translator did well with “close”, “has been” and “famous for”. In fact, translators could use “near” or “next to” instead of “close”. However, these words strongly emphasize the location of the beach rather than the aim represented in the Vietnamese version. That is, then, “close” is used to make clear that the writer is mentioning about the advantage of Đại Lãnh beach, “close to Highway 1” rather than its location. Next, the translator used the phrase “has been” that interested me a lot. “ Has been” here means that Đại Lãnh beach was famous in the past and now it is still famous. That’s much better than using “ is” or “ was” instead. Continuously, in the Vietnamese text, we have “rất nổi tiếng …với”, but when it’s translated into English, it must be “famous for”, not “famous with”. From this, we see the importance of mastering adjective phrase in English translation.
The second sentence, also the last sentence, contains a problem. The translator wrote, “which King Minh Mệnh built in Hue”. This information was not mentioned in the Vietnamese text even though it may be true in real life. Instead of that, it was just said that, “ “Dai Lanh” (the name) was carved by King Minh Mệnh on one of the Nine Urns placed in the Miếu Courtyard in Hue”. The Vietnamese version and the English translation are not equivalent. The experience we get from this problem is that we must understand clearly what the source text states before translating.
In term of using structure, it is easy to notice the phrase “ is eighty kilometers north of Nha Trang”. It is a very original point and it makes me very surprised because if a translator does not know how to use this structure, it would be very difficult for him to translate. Of course, we can actually translate this phrase in another way, but it will not be as good as using the structure recommended.
Any way, I think this is such a good translation. From a very good word choice to very original ways of expressing the idea, the paragraph gives us much experience.
Part2
Vietnamese text:
(Source: SELECTIONS OF VIETNAMESE – ENGLISH
TRANSLATIONS IN FOCUS
Caring for children’s health, by Nguyen Thanh Tam)
Có hai loại nhiệt kế căn bản – nhiệt kế đặt ở miệng và nhiệt kế đặt ở hậu môn. Sự khác nhau giữa chúng là bầu chứa thủy ngân. Tuy nhiên, cả hai nhiệt kế này hoạt động theo nguyên lí như nhau, đó là thủy ngân có thể giãn nở dài ra theo thang ở một số nhiệt độ, và các điểm này được ghi trên nhiệt kế. Có hai loại thang nhiệt – thang Farhenheit với nhiệt độ bình thường trong vùng của 98,6 độ F, và thang mét với nhiệt độ bình thường trong vùng của 37 độ C.
English text:
There are two basic types of thermometer – the oral thermometer and the rectal thermometer. The difference between them is the shape of the bulb containing the mercury. Both, however, work on the same principle, namely, that mercury will expand along a scale at certain temperatures and these points are marked on the thermometer. There are also two scales in use- the old Fahrenheit scale with the normal temperature in the region of 98,6 0 F and the metric scale with the normal temperature averaging at 370 Centigrade.
Comments:
The translation is on the whole very smooth and easy to understand. There are not many faults found while there are some good points to notice.
Firstly, the Vietnamese phrase “ bầu chứa thủy ngân” is translated into English like, “ the shape of the bulb containing the mercury”, and it is an interesting creation. We can simply translate “ the bulb containing the mercury”, so why we need the word “shape”, then “the shape of”. It helps to modify the idea that the difference between the oral thermometer and the rectal thermometer is exactly “the shape, not something else, of the bulb that contains the mercury.
Secondly, do we need to add “ namely” in the second sentence (bold)? That is considered to be necessary in the process of translation. That is, we do not need to follow word-for-word translation. Sometimes, we need to add something that is acceptable to make the translation piece more smooth and easier to understand. The phrase “in use” in the last sentence is another example. Actually, we can write, “ there are two scales” only, and do not need to add “in use”. However, when “in use” is added, it makes the idea of the text clearer.
The paragraph includes just three sentences and they are all translated rather well. Therefore, there are not many special points to notice. Anyway, I like this piece of translation since it is very easy to understand and the sentences are translated very smooth.

Week 6
Name: Phan Việt Thắng
Code: 7044739
Email: phanvietthangctu@gmail.com
Source: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
(Paragraph 15 – Bai Chay Beach)
Comments:
This is not a long paragraph though it includes 5 sentences. In the first sentence, we see clearly the technique of recognizing the main idea. In comparison between the two ideas:
(1) a large artificial beach close to Ha Long Bay
(2) is over 500 meters long and 100 meters wide
, the first one is just a subordinate clause and, of course the second, the main idea. Therefore, the translator cleverly put (1) in two commas as a subordinate idea as follow,
“Bãi Cháy, a large artificial beach close to Ha Long Bay, is over 500 meters long and 100 meters wide”. It helps transfer the information of such a big beach.

The second sentence is the best one in the translation piece since it shows the translator’s wide understanding of the source text. The Vietnamese structure “nhờ…mà” does not emphasize the great contribution of Hoang Gia Tourism Company in making the beach become popular. On the contrary, the English version with the structure that brings “the Hoang Gia Tourism Company’s investment” the subject role does very well. Let’s see,
“Hoang Gia Tourism Company’s investment has made the site popular”.
The sentence is much stronger than the Vietnamese sentence since it strongly emphasizes the fact that Hoang Gia Company, not any company else, has invested and made the site popular. From this we should learn how to change the structure of sentences in translation so that it can express the idea clearly and meaningfully.

The third sentence requires translators the ability of choosing words as well as understanding the idea expressed in the source text. Let’s examine how the sentence is translated:
“An asphalt road winds between the beach of white sand and casuarina trees”.
The verd “uốn lượn” is a picturesque word in Vietnamese. The translator used the verb “wind” that is rather suitable. It partially expresses the full meaning of “uốn lượn” in Vietnamese.

It is a fact that with the same information, sentences in Vietnamese use more words than in English. The phrase “một bên” is repeated 2 times in the Vietnamese version is an example. Actually, this phrase is not very necessary and, therefore, we can write “giữa bãi cát trắng và rừng phi lao” as in the English version, “between the beach of white sand and casuarina trees”.

The next sentence is such a difficult one to translate because of the word “Đây đó”. In fact, the subject of the sentence is “những nhà hàng, những nhà hát kịch truyền thống và cả nhà hát rối nước”. Therefore, in the English version, the translator used “Near by” functioning as a subject that sounds very good. In addition, since the sentence is hard to translate, the English version had a small mistake. In the Vietnamese source text, we have “thậm chí” that shows the variety of traditional customs in Viet Nam. While translated into English the translator forgot to use “even” that unintentionally lost a part of the meaning of the sentence.

The last sentence shows the translator’s talent in expressing ideas. In the Vietnamese source text, the writer wrote “là nơi du khách có thể chơi môn lướt ván hoặc xe lướt sóng”. In the English version, the translator used the verb “provide” that shortens the sentence but still remains the meaning. We, translators, can write “is a place for visitors to play water-skiing and jet-skiing” but the sentence would be longer. Furthermore, the sentence not only wants to say that these activities are available in Hòang Gia Park, but also wants to emphasize Hoàng Gia Company’s great contribution in making the beach attractive to visitors. So, the word “provide” is an excellent choice.
Having good word choice and structures, the paragraph is such a good example of translation.
Part2:
Vietnamese text:
(Source: “English – Vietnamese Translation” by Nguyen Thanh Duc).

“Đầu năm 2020, Việt Nam sẽ có vị trí khác hẳn hiện nay. Thế hệ trẻ Việt Nam sẽ được biết đến với hình ảnh thanh bình và tiến bộ. Họ sẽ có sự chuẩn bị tốt hơn để nghĩ về những vấn đề dài hạn như môi trường cho sự tăng tuổi thọ, những khu vực còn đói nghèo…Họ sẽ cũng phải hiểu rằng họ là “những công dân toàn cầu” hơn bây giờ.”
English text:
“Vietnam will be at a completely different position in the year of 2020. Vietnamese young generation will be known as the image of peace and progress. They will get better preparation to think of long-term issues such as environments for the longer of lives, hungry…poverty areas. They will also have to understand that they are citizens “more global” than they are at present.”
Comments:
The translation piece can convey the entire meaning of the paragraph, however, there are still many mistakes and the style is not very smooth.
Having a look at the first sentence, we can see that it is a little different from the source text. For example, the phrase “by the year 2020” would be more suitable to express “đầu năm 2020”. “In the year of 2020” cannot emphasize the beginning of the year.
The word “as” should be replaced by “with” to say that Vietnamese young people are living in a peaceful and progressive country. It is not likely to say, “Vietnamese young generation will be known as the image of peace and progress”. Readers may understand that Vietnamese young people have the face that looks like the image of peace and progress. This is simply the problem of word choice.
“ The longer of lives” as well as “hungry…poverty areas” are grammatically and semantically wrong in this context. It should probably be changed into “longevity improvement” and “regions in poverty”. This is the problem of word choice as well as punctuation. We should not use a “dot dot dot” when translating a text into English like that.
The word “understand” in the last sentence is not likely to be the best choice. Another word that can fit this problem may be the word “realize”. The reason is that Vietnamese young people not only need to understand the country situation but also realize their role in the country development. The phrase “more global” seems to be used to express that the citizens are more global, which could make nonsense. On the other hand, the aim of the source text is to confirm that Vietnamese young people should be more active and co-operated in the world integration. So, the sentence should be rewritten like “ They will have to realize that they are citizens of a more global environment rather than now”.
Although the paragraph contains many weak points that need to be improved, it is a good chance for us to look over the common mistakes that Vietnamese translators usually make while translating. From that we can know how to avoid these mistakes in our translation.