This is a well-translated selection because of word choice as well as structure forming. The first Vietnamese sentence is such a complicated one since it contains many phases that modify other phrases. “Náu mình trong một con vịnh” modifies “thị trấn Cát Bà” when “thuyền bè đánh cá đủ màu” modifies “con vịnh”. It’s very easy for an amateur translator to write in run-on language. The translator has his own way by replacing all relative clauses by the past participle. “Cat Ba Town nestled around a bay filled with colorful fishing boats”. This way really makes the translated sentence smoother. The second sentence is translated with the skill of structure forming. In the original text, the writer used he desperate phrases “ven hai bên đường” before “”là các khách sạn và nhà hàng hiếu khách” which are totally difficult to be translated. And the translator was really skilled when he changed the position of these two phrases. As a result, we have “Friendly hotels and restaurant border the promenade”. However, in this sentence, he used the word “friendly” for “hiếu khách” which did not transfer all the idea of the writer. “Hospitable” is considered to be more acceptable. The last sentence is good because the translator had changed the active form for “buổi chiều đầu tiên du khách nên ” into the passive form “the first afternoon is best spent”. This way aims to emphasize the necessary of the afternoon in Cat Ba and reduce unnecessary details.
Assignment 2 – Paragraph 19 – Practice in Vietnamese – English Translation – Nguyen Thanh Duc
Lương cao, môi trường làm việc rộng, nhiều thách đố, Giao tế nhân sự quả thật là một nghề hiện đại thích hợp với các bạn trẻ có chí cầu tiến. Song thiết nghĩ, để GTNS được thừa nhận và hoạt động một các hợp pháp cũng rất cần sự quan tâm, định hướng và giúp đỡ phát triển của các ngành chức năng.
High salary, large working environment with much challenging, PR’s could be really a modern career, appropriate to the youths being eager for advanced spirit. However, to my mind, in order to be recognized and legally executed, it can also need the concern, orientation and development assistance of many functional organs.
This is really an awful translated selection with terrible word choice and grammar. In the first sentence, with the aim to shorten it, the translator intended to reduce the subject “PR”. However, he used the wrong structure by reducing the main verb. It should be translated as “bringing high salary….” Or “being a job with high salary…”. Secondly, there is a problem in “PR’s could be…”. Two main verbs in a clause make the sentence look ridiculous. Thirdly, the phrase “a really modern career, appropriate to the youths being eager for advanced spirit” needs reconsidering. By using the comma, he again intended to reduce the verb. However, an adjective can not be in that position. “A really modern career which is appropriate …” is more okay. Furthermore, “the youths being eager for…” should be replaced by “the young people who are eager for …” .
The second sentence is also very badly-translated. In a formal selection, the objective ideas should be limited. It’s not good to use “to my mind” here. Moreover, in the next phrase “in order to be recognized and legally executed”, there is the problem of word agreement. When using the word “end”, we should make some arrangement so that what is before and after “end” can be in the same part of speech. “Recognized” and “executed” share the same characteristic as the past-participle. However, in this situation, “executed” is not acceptable because PR can also execute by itself. It’s no need to use it as the past-participle. It should be “in order to be recognized and allowed to execute or operate”. Finally, the word choice is so terrible. The word “organ” is usually used to indicate the parts of the body. In this situation, it is ridiculous to use it and can make the reader laugh out loud. “Department” the the best choice.
Vo Chanh Truc – 7044744 – Group 1 Email: vochanhtruc@gmail.com p. 139 – page 104-105
This translation is good. Of course, I have something to discuss it. In the first sentence, we can see that the word “đẩy” is translated into “propel”. The translator was skilful when translating in this way because “propel” means to move, drive or push something forward or in a particular direction (Oxford Dictionary). This word is more appropriate than “push” in this context because the local people is making their tiny boats move forward. Also, they have a definite direction to move. Therefore, using “propel” is a better way than using “push”.
In the second sentence, the phrase “không khí rất trong lành” is translated into “the atmosphere is serene”. In my opinion, “trong lành” in this context means “fresh”(pleasantly clean, pure or cool) . Although “serene” (calm and peaceful) can go with the word “atmosphere”, I think it is not a good way to use it in this context to replace the word “fresh”.
Next, let us discuss the 3rd sentence. The first thing to discuss is the difference between the subjects in original version and translated version. In original version, the subject is boats which do the action “glide”. However, in the translated version, the ones who do the action “glide” are visitors. I think there’s this difference because things like boats cannot do an action. Just visitors – human – can do it or also the translator wanted to express what the visitors can enjoy when visiting Tam Coc. Next, there’s also difference between “egrets and storks”. As far as I know, “cò” is translated into “stork”. However, in this sentence, the translator translated “cò” into “egrets” which is “Diệc” in Vietnamese, a bird of the HERON family, with long legs and long white tail feathers. Maybe there are a lot of egrets in Tam Coc instead of “stork”.
In conclusion, the translated version needs to improve something I think.
Buoc dau hoc dich Viet Anh Nguyen Huu Du Page 334 Sức khỏe
Sức khỏe rất quí. Đau yếu làm cho chung ta khốn khổ và là một gánh nặng cho xã hội. Chúng ta phải làm gì để giữ gìn sức khỏe? Trước tiên chúng ta phải giữ điều độ trong việc ăn uống. Ăn uống nhiều quá cũng như ăn uống thiếu thốn đều có hại cho sức khỏe. Thứ đến chúng ta phải năng vận động than thể và ngủ đầy đủ. Mất ngủ và thiếu vận động làm cho sức khoẻ con người suy yếu. Sau cùng chúng ta phải giữ gìn than thể sạch sẽ, phòng ở thoáng khí và sống ngoài trời càng nhiều càng tốt.
Translation version
Health
Health is of great value. Illness makes us miserable and is a burden to society. What must we do to keep our health? First, we must be moderate in eating and drinking. Eating and drinking too much as well as insufficient food are harmful to the health. Second we must get plenty of physical exercise and enough sleep. Insomnia and lack of physical exercise may ruin a man’s health. Finally, we must keep our bodies clean, our rooms well-ventilated, and live as much as possible in the open air.
Comment
I think this translation is alright. However, there are something to be improved
In the second sentence, the translator wrote “Illness makes us miserable and is a burden to society”. This sentence made me confused because of its ambiguity. I don’t know whether illness is a burden to society or illness makes us to be a burden to society. In my opinion, the sentence would be translated in this way “Illness makes us miserable and be a burden to society.” That means when we got sickness, we would be a burden to society.
The next sentence (what must we do to keep our health?) is a question. According to the Vietnamese version (Chúng ta phải làm gì để giữ gìn sức khoẻ?), the translator translated it quite well. However, in this context, the author of this article is giving advice to readers. The translator should use the word “should” instead of “must” although “phải” means “must”. So the sentence can be translated in this way “What should we do to keep our health?” And all the word “must” in the translation should be replaced by the word “should”.
Next, I want to discuss this sentence: Eating and drinking too much as well as insufficient food are harmful to the health. I think eating and “drinking too much” and “insufficient food” are not equivalent. I think the sentence should be change in this way: “Eating and drinking too much as well as too little are harmful to the heath.” Translating in this way will make the readers read and understand the text more easily.
In the 6th sentence - Insomnia and lack of physical exercise may ruin a man’s health, the phrase “ruin a man’s health” seems strange to the readers because not many people use it. The translator translated exactly every word from the original version. I think he/she had better you the phrase “may ruin our health”. Although it doesn’t mean exactly what is in the original version, I think it is appropriate to be used in this context.
Although there are some weak points in this translation, the translator was wise to use the word “well-ventilated” instead of “airy” in the last sentence. According to Oxford dictionary, “ventilate” means to allow fresh air to enter and move around a room, building, etc while “airy” means with plenty of fresh air because there is a lot of space. Both of the two words can go with “room” or “office”. However, using “well-ventilated” is more appropriate in this context because a room with small space can be well-ventilated if we equip fans but it cannot be airy because there is not a lot of space. A large room is certain to be airy because there is a lot of space there.
In conclusion, the translator should consider his/her word choice to have good translations.
Optional paragraph: Vietnamese version: ‘Vai ung cu vien tong thong My co le muon theo su lanh dao cua thu tuong Anh Tony Blair. Theo bao London Telegraph. Blair du dinh tao ra mot chinh phu de cai thien nhac pop, la thu tuong voi cac du an cho gioi tre. Chinh quyen do se ngan chan gioi tre su dung ma tuy va thuyet phuc ho di hoc lai’
Englicsh version: ‘Some of America’s presidential candidates may wat to follow the lead of British Prime Minister Tony Blair. According to he London Telegraph newspaper. Blar plans o create a government position o promote pop music, called a youth-affairs minister. That official wuld also discourage drug use among young people, and urge them to stay in school.
Comment: In general, the translated English version is quite smooth and it still keeps the main idea of Vietnamese message. However, it still has some problems. First one is related to typing mistakes while. These will make readers not understand what is in the passage. For example, the word ‘wat’ instead of ‘want’, ‘Blar’ for ‘Blair’, or ‘wuld’ for ‘would’, or ‘he’ for ‘the’. This problem should be edited. Another problem is inappropriate punctuation used in this version. That is if we write ‘According to he London Telegraph newspaper.’ this is just called a phrase and not a sentence. Therefore, this fragment will be followed by a sentence or a clause. This phrase should follow the first sentence ‘some of … Tony Blair’ or should stand in front of the second sentence ‘Blair …a youth-affairs minister’. One more problem is in word choice in the last sentence. That word is ‘official’. This word is not suitable in this context, because ‘official’ is an adjective and also a noun. Both the meaning of neither adjective and noun convey the meaning ‘chinh phu’. ‘Administration’ or ‘government’ should be appropriate. Another word should be considered is ‘youth-affairs’. First thing belongs to the grammar. Because ‘youth-affairs’ plays a role as an adjective, it should be crossed out‘s’ after ‘affair’. Another is word choice. ‘Affair’ in this context is not appropriate, because it indicates ‘matter, concern thing on thing to be added to’ or ‘thing or event’. However, the main idea is ‘du an’. So a word ‘project’ should be used. In short, this entire word is ‘youth-project’ Also in this sentence, phrase ‘called a youth-project minister’ should change the position. It should follow after ‘Blair’ to modify for ‘Blair’. In my opinion, this sentence should be ‘According to the London newspaper, Blair, known as a youth-project minister, plans to create a government position to promote pop music.’ To sum up, although the translated version contains some problem, it is quite good and smooth. If this version is revised, it will be better and more perfect. Anyway, it is a good version.
Compulsory paragraph: Paragraph 143 page 109 Generally, this translated version is good and smooth. It keeps the main idea of the original text. The author is quite successful in using appropriate word for this context. Moreover, s/he arranges the idea quite suitably. However, this text includes some problems. The first one I want to mention is using proper name. In this text, the author use ‘Marble Mountain’ replaced for ‘Ngu Hanh Son’. I think the writer should not replace it, because ‘Ngu Hanh Son’ is a proper name. If s/he changes, s/he will not keep Vietnamese traditions or customs involved in ‘Ngu Hanh Son’. If s/he wants to change, s/he just translates only one word ‘Son’ into ‘Mountain’ and other words still keep. Another problem is using modifier and its position, and using words in the last sentence. The first thing I want to discuss is words ‘some of the caves’. Although these words are right when using in some context, they are not appropriate in this context because after ‘some of the caves’ has a relative clause that modifies and makes clear for a noun standing before. However, I do not know which word or phrase this relative clause modifies: ‘some’ or ‘caves’. In sentence ‘Some of the caves, which were only….’, I may understand that ‘…,which were only…,…’ will modify for ‘caves’ , not for ‘some’. Therefore, ‘some of the caves’ should be changed into ‘some caves’. It still keep the idea and also clearer to the readers. One more thing is in phrase ‘revolutionary troops’. In my opinion, this phrase is right and acceptable in this context. The word ‘troop’ indicates the group of people. It can be accepted. However, one more word can be used to convey the meaning ‘chien si’ is ‘fighter’. This word ‘fighter’ is maybe more exact because ‘troop’ is a group in which fighters are included. ‘Revolutionary troops’ means ‘many group of fighters with different duties’. In general, ‘troop’ and ‘fighter’ both can be used in this context.
Paraph 86 page 71 In general, the translaton is smooth and keep full meaning from the source test. However, there are some points I disagree with the translator. Firstly, I think the translator should translate Vietnamese word “núi đá” into “rock moutain” in English in the first sentence. If the translator use “rock”, readers can understand that Dinh Cậu is the name of a rock, not a mountain. Secondly, the translator has mistake with the grammar point in the phrase: “sand and sea and sun and stone”. Between “sand” and “sea”, “sea” and “sun” we should use a comma: “sand, sea, sun and stone”. I wonder why the translator uses the word “harmony” in the translation. I think it is not necessary in this situation because this word is usually used for music. We can delete this word and change “perfect” into adverb which can keep the meaning of the source. In the second sentence, the word “rock” should also change into “rock mountain”. There are some problems in the last sentence. In the source, the writer says that: “Có các bậc đá đưa du khách lên đỉnh” but in the translation, this sentence is translated into: “Steps take visitors to the top”. I think this translation dose not emphasize the meaning that in Dinh Cậu, there are steps to help visitors to the top. One more thing I disagree when the translator uses the phrase “gentle sea breeze” because the word “breeze” means “gentle wind” so it is not necessary to use the word “gentle” in this phrase. But I like the way the translator translate form a clause “gió thổi nhè nhẹ” into a noun phrase “gentle sea breeze”. It make the translation shorter and simpler.
NĂM HỌC MỚI
Các em thân mến! Hôm nay là mồng năm tháng chín, các em hăm hở trở lại trường. Nhưng có vài em còn luyến tiếc mấy tháng hè rong chơi thỏa thích. Nhưng thôi! Đã đi học thì phải quyết chí chuyên cần. Năm nay lên lớp trên các em phai cố gắng hơn. Các em mỗi tuổi một lớn, trí óc mỗi ngày một khôn, sự học cũng phải mỗi ngày một tấn tới. Các em phải cố gắng học cho khỏi phí thì giờ. Và có như vậy mai đây trưởng thành mới làm tròn bổn phận người dân được.
Bài dịch: A NEW SCHOOL YEAR
My dear pupils, Today is the fifth of september, therefore, all of you are eager to come back to school. But there are some of you who still longingly remember the summer holiday when they enjoyed themselves. But that will do, once you go to school, you should set your mind to studies. This year, in the higher form, you should spend much more efforts. You become taller and taller every year, your minds get clever and clever, so you should make more and more progresss in your studies. Nguyen Thi Minh Trang 7044743 nmtrang86@gmail.com
Book: Vietnam’s natural beauty. Vietnamese text: Những vết tích lịch sử cũng cho thấy các vua Trần đã sử dụng Đồ Sơn làm căn cứ quân sự. Năm 1288, Việt Nam đánh bại quân xâm lược Nguyên – Mông, làm đắm hàng trăm chiếc thuyền buồm của chúng trong một trận kịch chiến tại cửa sông Đại Bàng gần tháp Nhĩ Sơn.
English text: Historical traces also show that the Tran Kings used Do Son as a marine base. In 1288, the Vietnamese defeated Yuan-Mongolian invaders, sinking hundreds of their junks during a fierce battle in the mouth of Dai Bang River near Nhi Son Tower.
Comments: I would like to give my comments on the word - choices and grammar points. In my opinion, the word “marine base” belongs to another meaning. So, I strongly recommend that it must be “military base” so that the English text can conserve the gist of the source language. The second point is that these words “junks” and “mouth” can not make clear the Vietnamese words. The target text would be, therefore, better if I suggested changing them into “sailing-boats” and “estuary”. In addition, the second sentence shows the problem of using unparallel verbs. It is clear to see that “defeated” in simple past but “sinking” in present participle. Thus, the solution is to put “sinking” back to simple past “sank”. Beside a few weak points, the text possesses a strong one is that it keeps the main ideas of the source text which contributes to present a nice translation. Finally, let me introduce the improved translation: “Historical traces also show that the Tran Kings used Do Son as a military base. In 1288, the Vietnamese defeated Yuan-Mongolian invaders, sank hundreds of their sailing-boats during a fierce battle in / at the estuary of Dai Bang River near Nhi Son Tower.
Book: Vietnamese-English translation 1 Vietnamese text: Do tính chất mới mẻ của công việc, tại Việt Nam chưa có trường lớp hay chương trình chính qui nào đào tạo các GTNS. Phần lớn các GTNS tại thành phố là các người học ở nước ngoài, do các công ty GTNS đào tạo hoặc học qua kinh nghiệm.
English text: Due to unusual character of the job, there hasn’t been any school of full times’s curriculum to train PR’s specialists in Viet Nam. The majority of them in this city are usually come from foreign studying person, trained by PR’s companies and some among them are from self – studying by experiences.
Comments: I am pity to say that I have different ideas on the translation. Firstly, the word “unusual” can not be approved soon because of its inexact meaning. Secondly, in my opinion, I consider that the phrase “…any school of full times’s curriculum” contains unclear meaning. Moreover, it is not necessary to say “PR’s specialists”. Also, I wonder that why does not the author use “in the city” instead of “in this city” because the text implies city in general and does not mention to the concrete city. Thirdly, I think the big problem of the text is to use passive voice “are…come” to express the idea. And is it better if the author uses “people” instead of “person” in plural noun. By the way, I support the word “people”. And once passive voice is unsuitable in this sentence, the author can not reduce “are trained” into “trained” as in the text. Therefore, there should be “who are trained” so that the sentence will include clear and exact meaning. Next, to avoid having further translation, I suggest crossing out “and some among them are from self-studying” and replace with “or study”. I think this is the best way to prevent the translation from confusion. Finally, it is impossible to add “s” after the uncounted noun “experience”. So, to me, the translation will be: “Due to fresh character of the job, there has not been any schools or regular programs to train PR in Viet Nam. The majority of them in the city usually come from foreign studying people who are trained by PR’s companies or study by experience”.
Many people say that: Vietnamese is a hard language to recognize the structure or the components of the sentence. Yes, I think so. The first sentence “Chỉ cách trung tâm Đà Lạt 3 km” can be a proof. This sentence can be an ambiguous one if the writer does not mention the notes: “ Thac Cam Ly” in bold letters and the using “colon” after them. I think the translator is so good in using sentence: “This waterfall is located only three kilometers from the center of Da Lat”. This is clearer because at least I can recognize that it is a “waterfall”. However, everything also has two sides. So, the translator also has some problems in using words. For example, “Ở Việt Nam” are translated by “ In Vietnamese”. I think this is rather wrong because “Vietnamese” just express people or language in Viet nam not express country. Moreover, when using the expression of emotion, the translator uses “dear” replace for “ơi”, the way of calling. I think “dear” using here is not necessary. Should every word be translated? I think it will be better if the translator know how to choose suitable words to translate more than translate almost words in the text. So, I think the lyrics of a song should be translate like this: “Da Lat, do you hear Cam Ly Weeping for its first broken love?” That is just my feeling about the way of translation. Anyway, the translator is so good in translation, just some piece of mistakes that maybe anyone can meet in translation from one text to another text. So translation should take care from some small details to build a completed translation.
Vietnamese text QUÝ THỜI GIỜ Trăm năm kể cũng lâu, nhưng thấm thoát cũng chẳng được là bao. Đời người, phần ngồi rỗi ăn dưng thì nhiều, phần làm viêc chẳng có mấy. Lúc còn bé, ngây thơ, chưa biết lo nghĩ, lúc già, sức yếu hay có tính chán nản, cái tuổi cường trán có thể gánh vác nổi công việc, thì chỉ độ chừng vài mươi năm. Thế mà nhiều người rông dài nay đây mai đó, gặp đâu là nhà, ngả đâu là giường, việc ở gần, có mắt như không thấy, việc ở xa, có tai như không nghe thấy. Họ chỉ nghĩ đến ăn ngon mặc đẹp, ngủ kĩ cho qua ngày tháng.Rút cục từ thuở nhỏ cho đến lúc bạc đầu, họ chẳng làm dược công trạng gì cả.Những hạng người như thế thật không biết quý giá trị của thời giờ.
English translation TIME IS PRECIOUS One hundreds year is rather a long period, but as time passing gradually we haven’t got much of it. A man’s life, the part that we spend for idle things is more than the one that we spend for work. When young, we were naïve, not knowing of thinking, when old, we are weak and not discouraged, the active and energetic period that we can undertake difficult tasks just about some tens of years. Yet, many people are wandering about everywhere that they come is their house, everything that they lie on is their bed, things new to them, they won’t see, things far to them, they won’t hear. They are only thinking of good food, nice clothes, sound sleep and pleasures to pass the time. Eventually, from their youth to the time when their hair is white, they can achieve no merit. People as such never know the value of time.
MY COMMENT
I have done a lot of comparisons between two texts but I think this is the first time I have admired the English version most. Although it also exists the influence of Vietnamese way such as its translation is word-by-word translation. Most of sentences in the English version can prove that. For example, “luc con be, ngay tho, chua biet nghi;luc gia, suc yeu, hay co tinh chan nan…etc” are translated by “when young, we were naïve,not knowing of thinking; when old, we are weak, and easily discourage…etc”. The English sentence just focus on meaning, and it does not focus on grammar because its grammar is wrong. In addition, “the ma” are translated by “yet”(tuy nhien). I think this is not suitable because “the ma” express something happen that you know the event but finally, it does not happen as you want. But “yet” does not express suitably the meaning of “the ma’. However, I still admire it because it gives me a clearer version than Vietnamese one. I think the using of words in Vietnamese text is so hard,unclear. Some words or phrases that I do not know how to express. So thank to the handout, I can get more expression that i never know before. For example, “rong dai”; “gap dau la nha;nga dau la giuong”; “rut cuc”; “cong trang”..etc. these words are so strange and sound as slang words that Vietnamese people often use to speak in daily conservation. In addtion, I think that English version is so clever in using translation words. This makes not only me but also readers feel easy to understanding clearly. Through these two texts, I think that translation from Vietnamese to English will be easier and better if Vietnamese texts is clear in using expression,and avoiding using slang words is also necessary. (120 BAI LUYEN DICH VIET ANH) LE THI MY XUYEN Class 01- 7044746 Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com
PARAGRAPH 23, PAGE 25 In my opinion, this is a translated version which the translator transformed quite sufficient content from the Vietnamese version by smooth and understandable clauses. However, some of words used which should be replaced. For example, “cac nha dau tu” I think it should be “investors” instead of “developers” because “investor” will be better very much than “developer” in the context of this passage. In addition, the translator is not very clever to turn clauses into noun-phrase to bring to readers a short and understandable translated version. To compare with the Vietnamese version, he translated word by word, sentence by sentence with detailed meaning of the version. So, the translated version seems be longer with many verbs. Furthermore, we can say “tang lop thuong luu” with many statementS like “upper strata, upperclass; upper stratum; upper background; upper walk of life” so I don’t know which word is the best to use for this context. Finally, “mot song bac huong ra phia ngon hai dang tren dao Hon Dau cach bo bien 4 km” translated into “a casino with a view of the Hon Dau lighthouse four kilometers out to the sea which I see that it is not really good because of using ambiguous noun-phrase. In general, the translation is quite understandable and it transform the whole meaning of the Vietnamese version exactly. But it still exists some limited to become an excellent translation version.
HUONG DAN LUYEN DICH VIET ANH TRAN TRI THIEN- NHA XUAT BAN THANH NIEN VIETNAMESE VERSION Tai cua ngo Dong Bac Thanh Pho Ho Chi Minh, voi dien tich gan 11000 m2 ben canh bo song Tac, co khu du lich sinh thai Vuon co. Vuon co thuoc ap Go Cong, Phuong Long Thanh My, quan 9, nam trong mot quan the du lich gom: lang ca be , cu lao Ong Dia , chua Hoi Son va vuon cay an trai ven song Tac. Hang ngay co gan 10.000 con co hoi tu ve day voi nhieu chung loai (co minh den canh trang, co mo vang, co ca…)
English version At the North-Eastern gateway of Ho Chi Minh City is Vuon Co (Stork Sanctuary) ecotourism spot on an area of over 11000 square meters by the Tac river in Go Cong hamlet, Long Thanh My Ward, District 9 in a tourist complex including: the fish in cage village, Ong Dia Islet, Hoi Son pagoda and the fruit tree gardens along the Tac river. Everyday there are about 10000 storks of differences species (storks with black bodies and white wings, yellow-biiled storks, fish storks…) gathering here.
This is a quite good translated version of the translator Tran Tri Thien. The translation transformed the whole meaning of the Vietnamese version by understandable and exact noun-phrases. Especially, he combined two first sentences to become one in the English version which makes the passage seems shorter and better than the base one so that we could emphasize the natural beauty of Vuon Co (Stork Sanctuary) ecotourism spot. Next sentences are also very good and understandable with using the suitable words to describe the beauty of various species of storks. But, I don’t know whether it was exact scientific name. the translation is quite good , smooth and understandable. However, some of dialects which I don’t know if he translated exactly such as “lang ca be(cage fishing village);quan the (Population; community); du lich sinh thai (green tourism; ecotourism)…would you please look for this matter. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you very much.
HO DINH QUOC 7044738 GROUP 1 DINHQUOC1985@GMAIL.COM
Nguyen Hong Hieu 7044732 honghieumay@gmail.com core text: Viet Nam 's natural beauty Reading the paragraph 20. page 23 I have some interesting thing to comment First sentence, in English version we can see the phrase once the site why the author use definite article the, whether he use the site to imply Van Ban pagoda. I think that the first sentence is not equivalent to the first sentence in Vietnamese version because the site does not give enough meaning to word nơi có. If the writer uses once the site of the famous bell that means Van Ban pagoda is the site of the bell, not the bell is in Van Ban pagoda. Moreover, is next to the tower, it make the readers confuse which tower that the writer want to mention. Second sentence: if the writer translates word by word in Vietnamese version, it would not be good translation. For example: if he translates this is the oldest frozen bell in Viet Nam, so it would not be as good as the frozen bell, one of the oildest in Viet Nam. We can see that in English version, the writer commbine two sentences in Vietnamese version, and then translate it into one sentence in English. Fourth sentence, It is on display now, why don’t he use it is dispalyed like the sentence in Vietnamese version đang được trưng bày. I think it is on display makes the sentence smooth and its sound smoother. Fifth sentence, the bell fell , it doesn’t mean bi roi in Vietnamese but the bell itself fell into the sea unedr the influence of a storm. Not someone make it fall into the seabed Seventh sentence, during its centuries, I think it is not good because its centuries trhat means the centuries of the bell, but the meaning of that phrase is the centuries when the bell in the sea. It would be better if he use in centuries instead of duing its centuries. Additional text: Vuong Cac. 120 bai Luyen dich Viet Anh. P21 Nghi he Troi nong nuc, kho chiu. Hoc nhieu nghi lam so duoi suc va met tri, nen vao khoang may thang he, tu trung tuan thang sau den dau thang chin, cac truong deu dong cua. Tuy vay, nguoi hoc tro tot khong nen lay co nghi ma sao lang viec hoc. Moi ngay cung phai on tap lai cac bai trong vai gio thi moi khong quen nhung dieu da hoc, nhu vay nam sau vao truong moi du suc thi dua cung ban be trong lop. Summer vacation The weather is hot and disagreeable. Learning and thinking a lot would exhaust our body and mind, therefore during a few months of summer, from the middle of June to the beginning of September, all school are closed. However, a good student should not make a ptetext of his holiday to neglect his study. Everyday, he should review his lessons for few hours so as not to forget what he has leanrt, and he will be able to compete with his classmates the next school year. Reading this translation I have some interesting things to comment: First sentence both English and Vietnamese version is equivalent. Second sentence, we see in Vietnamese version hoc nhieu nghi lam so duoi suc va met tri, if the writer translate exactly word by word like we fear that studing and thinking a lot would make us tired. It would be good like in English version Learning and thinking a lot would exhaust our body and mind. In the third sentence, we see that the writer used word pretxet mean vien co in Vietnamese, and he used neglect means sao lang in Vietnamese, the use of these word is good and it give equivalent meaning between the two versions. In the fourth sentence, in English version he used the words should review his lessons in few hours, I think it give eqivalent meaning to the same sentence in Vietnamese version. However, the phrase so as not to forget what he has learnt does’t give enough the meaning of what he has learnt, when he got that knowlegde, I think he must use so as not to forget what he has learnt in the last semester or last school year.
Vo Thi Minh Due 7044729 Class A1 minhdue@gmail.com From 109 bai dich Viet- Anh
Vietnamese paragraph
Đêm hôm ấy là một đêm trăng ở trên sông Hương. Theo thói quen của các nhà văn sĩ kinh đô,tôi và mấy bạn hữu có thuê một chiếc đò, kiểu đo có máy che một nửa, thường những đêm hè sáng sủa hay chở những khách thơ chơi phiếm trên Hương giang.
English paragraph
That night was a moonlighting on the perfume river. According to the metropolitan writers'habit, a few of my friends and I rented a small ferry-boat, a kind of half roofed one, which is often used to carry poetically minded persons dawdling their away on the perfume river.
My comment
Through the original paragraph, we can imagine the beauty and romance of Huong river. However, I do not think the English version is a good one. In my opinion, the translation should have some changes to make it better. For example, in the first sentence, translator used the word "perfume river" to tranfer the name "song Huong". It is really unsuitable because "Huong " is a proper noun. So we should keep it in the translation. In my case, I will retranslate "song Huong" into "Huong river". One more thing,using "my friends" to translate "ban huu" is not enough.I think we should use "my close friends to make its meaning clear". On the other hand, the translation also has its good points which I like.For example, the phrase "kieu co mai che mot nua",I don not know how to translate this one into English.However, the translator used a very excillent phrase to transfer it: " a kind of half roofed one"
PARAGRAPH 17
In my opinion, this version would be better if there were a little bit change in the word using.Some words in English translation is not meaningful enough to express the content of Vietnamese one.If I transfered this paragraph, I would change some words , such as "say", in the first sentece, into "consider", "to burn" into " to smoke","people in Hon Gai" into " Hon Gai's citizens" and "these fires" into "those fires". I hope that these changes will help the translation more convincible.
The English translated reading text is a good one. On the whole, the translator has kept the general meaning in comparison with the Vietnamese reading one. In addition, the translator has kept the same sentence structure in two first sentences.
In the first sentence, it is right when the translator translated “Bien Dong” into “Eastern Sea” , but “Vietnamese-Lao border” is not very good choice. It should be “Vietnam-Lao border” because it is the border between two countries Vietnam and Lao whereas the translator means nationality. And in the second sentence, when we talk about “điểm cực bắc”, we can use “Northernmost part” instead of “at the end of the North” in the reading. And i think we should use “top” to indicate the highest part of a mountain. In the third sentence, the translator has changed the structural sentence, but the translator’s word choice is not very suitable. For instance, to describe streams and rivers, the translator has used “complex” and the system of streams and rivers in the text are not pluralized. It is supposed ……..
In the last sentence, the translator’s word choice is Ok except using “offering” to create “scenic splendours”. Should this sentence be as “….lakes and lagoons creating splendid sceneries”
Here my opinions about the translation reading”
Extra Activity:
Luyen dich Anh-Viet, Viet-Anh ( Lê Huy Lâm- Trương Hoàng Duy- Phan Văn Thuận)
Tổ chức y tế thế giới (WHO) đã chọn ngày 7 tháng 4 hàng năm làm Ngày Thế Giới không hút thuốc lá. tác hại của thuốc lá thì ai cũng biết, và con số những nơi công cộng cấm hút thuốc đang nagỳ càng nhiều. Sự công khai hợp lý mà công luận đã đưa ra trong thời gian dài và việc truyền bá các phương cách hữu hiệu để từ bỏ thuốc lá đã tạo nên các kết quả tích cực và đáng mong đợi đến nỗi nhiều con nghiện đã nói lời từ biệt với thuốc lá. Sau khi chịu đựng nhiều cực hình trong quá trình cai nghiện, phần thưởng mà họ nhận được là kết quả của quá trình cai nghiện đó. Yếu tố quan trọng nhất chắc chắn dẫn đến thành công trong quá trình từ bỏ thuốc lá là tính kiên trì của con người.
The World Health Organization has designated April 7th of each year as the International No-Smoking Day. The harm of smoking has been proverbial, and the number of no-smoking public places is on the increase. The pertinent publicity afforded by public opinion over a long time and the popularization of effective ways of giving up smoking have produced such positive and desirable results that many addicts have kissed tobacco good bye. They have, after suffering a lot in the process of quitting smoking, been amply rewarded by the resultant benefit. The key to quitting smoking altogether lies in perseverance, which is the surest road to success.
In my opinion, this is a very good translated reading text. The translator is very clever in using words; he (she) has used some flexible expressions of words. For example, the translator has used “designated” instead of using verb “choose” as in the original Vietnamese one. Moreover, he (she) decided word “proverbial” to translate the phrase “thì ai cũng biết”. The sentence structure is also good. The translator has changed some structures to make the reading more varied with keeping the same meaning as in the Vietnamese reading text.
However, the translator’s choice words “kissed tobacco good bye” to mention that smokers quit their smoking habit is not a very successful one. In this case, we can say “….many addicts have given up smoking”.
In general, this translation is also well-translated text, specially i choosing words. Nguyen Thi Linh Da- 7044728- A1
HUYNH TO NUONG Class 1 My email: jennyhuynha16@yahoo.com
Paragraph 88 on page 71: In general, the English text is good, but there is one difference between the original text and the translated one. The author wrote “Những người bán hàng rong đội nón, ngồi dưới đất”. The comma shows that there are 2 actions “wear” and “sit”.But the translator translated “vendors in conical-palm hats sit on the ground”. There is only one action “sit”. In theVietnamese text, readers can understand that some people wear hats, other sit on the ground because of the comma. In the English one, readers may understand that some peole who wear hats sit on the ground. This point makes the readers confused, and makes the sentence ambiguous.
Further Reading: Để bước vào năm 2020 thành công, cách chuẩn bị hánh trang tốt nhất là tu dưỡng và học tập, tu dưỡng tư cách đạo đức để làm người, học văn hóa để biết sống văn minh , học khoa học công nghệ để lao động giỏi. Học trong nhà trường, học trong lao động, học trong xã hội, học thầy. học bạn, học đồng nghiệp, tự học, học nữa học mãi.
To enter the year 2020 successfully, self-improvement and study are the best ways of preparation. We self-improve our dignity to behave in a humanly way. We study culture to live in a civilized way. We study science and industry to work excellently. Study in schools, in society, in social activities. Study from teachers, friends and colleagues. Self-study!Continuously study!Study forever!
My comment: There are some words which should be written because of inappropriate word choices such as “study” (studying), and “industry” (technology). “science and industry” doesn’t really mean “khoa học công nghệ” so it should be written. “Study in schools, in society, in social activities. Study from teachers, friends and colleagues. Self-study!Continuously study!Study forever!” , these sentences were translated differently from the original text. In the original one, they are complete sentences. They should be “Studying takes place at schools, through work, through society, through social activities, from teachers, friends and colleagues, by self studying and studying more and forever.
After reading the paragraph 108, I have following comments:
I think we can translate the phrase “Thác này cách Đà Lạt 10 km” – “This waterfall ten kilometers from Đà Lạt” into some different ways such as “This waterfall is far from Đà Lạt 10 km”, “Situated some forty kilometers of Đà Lạt”, “This waterfall is located 10 kilometers from Đà Lạt”. These have the same meaning. Next, “nổi tiếng với làn nước trắng xóa như một tấm màn bằng vải sa-tanh trắng rủ xuống chân cầu ở phía sau các ngọn thác” – “is famous for its cascade – a white satin curtain falling over the foot - bridge located behind the falls.” In Vietnamese text, the writer use simile with the word “như” but in English version, the translator did not use this kind of rhetorical method, on the contrary, he used hyphens “is famous for its cascade – a white satin curtain falling over the foot -”. I think it also a good way to express emphasis the beauty of Prenn waterfall. Another, In English people use preposition “for” after the word “famous” but in Vietnamese, people use preposition “với” after the word “nổi tiếng”. So, we should care about using suitable prepositions when translating. Also, in the English version, we can confuse with the words “waterfall” and “cascade”. Although “cascade” have the same meaning with “waterfall”, in this case their meaning are different. In fact, “waterfall” means a stream that falls from height, eg over rock while “cascade” means a waterfall, esp one of several falling in stages down a steep slope with rocks. So, choosing each word shows particular intention of the translator. In the last sentence, it has a change of expression in Vietnamese and English text, however, it does not cause any changes about meaning. In some cases, the translator can change expression providing that the meaning is preserved. In general, the English version is good at both meaning and trsutures. I really like it.
Assignment 2
Vietnamese text: Tại buổi tiếp Đại sứ Nhật Bản Norio Hattori ngày 4/10, Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng nhấn mạnh, chính phủ Việt Nam - Nhật Bản phải có trách nhiệm giải quyết sự cố sập nhịp dẫn cầu Cần Thơ không để ảnh hưởng đến quan hệ giữa hai nước. Thủ tướng nêu rõ, vấn đề đặt ra cho Chính phủ Việt Nam là phải sớm tìm cho được người mất tích cuối cùng, chăm lo chữa trị cho những người bị thương, trợ giúp cho những gia đình bị nạn kể cả trước mắt cũng như lâu dài.
English text: The Vietnamese and Japanese governments must be held responsible for settling the Can Tho bridge collapse while ensuring it does not affect the two countries’ relationship, Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung told the Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam on October 4th.
PM Dung said the two governments should cooperate closely in searching for the last worker who is still missing, caring for the injured and aiding the families of the victims in both the short and long term.
After reading the article, I have some comments:
In the first sentence, the source text was written in “reporting statement” form. So, translator used equivalent form when translating into English. Next, the Vietnamese text “Tại buổi tiếp đại sứ Nhật Bản ngày 4/10, Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng nhấn mạnh was translated into “ Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung told the Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam on October 4th”. In my opinion, although the meaning of the English version is not too different from the source text , the translator should translate the phrase: “Tại buổi tiếp Đại sứ Nhật Bản Norio Hattori” as well as the word “nhấn mạnh”. This can make the English version more equivalent to Vietnamese text. To me, it should be “In a talk with Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam in October 4th, Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung emphasized….” In this sentence, I like the phrase “must be held responsible for” best because the words “must” and “held” here show emphasis of the statement. In this sentence, I also pay attention to the word “while”. We know that people use “while” to talk about two longer actions that go on at the same time. Particularly, in formal speech and writing, people can often leave out the subject + be in clauses with while if the main and subordinate clause refer to the same subject. So, using the word “while” in this case is reasonable and referable. Moreover, in press language, it requires the article should have condensed content and adequate information. Thus, people prefer to abridge long structures by using an –ing, past participle (-ed) or being + past participle (-ed) clause. In the last sentence, we can see such a structure. In my opinion, this English version can be accepted but it is not a good version because it preserves the meaning of the target text in relativity.
7044735- Đào Thị Lương- class 1- lauradao86@gmail.com Comment 1: Book: “Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty”-paragraph 32-“Bà Rịa – Vũng Tàu”-page 30,31. In general, the paragraph is translated into English well. The word choices are suitable for the ideas to be translated. The translator separated the Vietnamese word “đồi núi” into two English words “hills, mountains”, which shows a clear difference between Vietnamese and English. The proper name “Bà Rịa –Vũng Tàu Province” is kept the same with the one in Vienamese. This makes the translation text be close to the original. The structures used are simple but comprehensible and similar to Vietnamese ones. However, there is one small mistake in the words used which changes the idea , “seventy-two kilometers” should be “seventy kilometers”. In conclusion, the translation text is well-organized and good in terms of words chosen. Comment 2: Book: “Practice in Vietnamese-English Translation 1”- para 11- page 24. Vietnamese paragraph: “Giám đốc một doanh nghiệp sản xuất hàng quà tặng tại Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh cho biết hiện doanh nghiệp của ông có hơn 10 mẫu hang chuẩn bị tung ra trong dịp Sea Games 22 sắp tới, nhưng doanh nghiệp hiện nay trong thế “tiến thoái lưỡng nan” không thể tiến hành lên kế hoạch sản xuất được vì không biết chi phí phải trả cho ban tổ chức bao nhiêu để định giá sản phẩm.” English paragraph: A manager of an enterprise producing souvernir gifts in Hồ Chí Minh city stated that there would be more than 10 souvenir models available to be launched on the occasion of the forthcoming SEA Games 22 but his business was in the dilemma of unability to work out any production plan because the enterprise couldn’t evaluate how much money should be paid to the Organization Board to set the right price. My Comment: I think the English translation can help readers have a main idea of the paragraph. However, when I consider it in details, I realize there are some points that I don’t agree with the translator. First, in term of word choices , I want to change some words such as, “A manager of an enterprise producing souvernir gifts” should be “The director of a gift production enterprise”; “stated” replaced by “said”; “souvenir models” replaced by “model products”. These replacing words, I think, are more suitable and closer to the ideas in the Vietnamese paragraph. The word “unability” should be “inability”. Some words such as “SEA Games 22” or “Organization Board” don’t need to be capitalized in all letters. The structure used should be more formal. The phrase “… but his business was in the dilemma of unability to work out any production plan…”should be separated into a new sentence: “However, his business was in the dilemma of inability to work out any production plan…” In brief, The translation text gives readers the gist of the paragraph but it needs to be improved more about words choices and sentence structures.
7044783 Au Tai Tien aucaijin@gmail.com ------------------------------
Comment 01 Book: Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam Paragraph 78, Page 64-65
After reading paragraph 78 (both the original and the English version) about Côn Đảo, I cannot say that I have learnt so many interesting things from the author. This translation does not seem to have a good word for me.
The first thing I would like to comment is that the author does not have a good ability at word choice. Basically, he does not think of the meaning of words in context carefully. For example, “Côn Đảo còn nổi tiếng với cái tên Đảo nhà tù” translates as “Côn Đảo is famous as Prison Island” in English, making readers very proud of the wound of the past. I think that is not a good way. Is it better if we replace “famous” by “is known”? I suggest translating the first sentence as “Not only does Con Dao have some spectacular scenery, but it is known as Prison Island.”
Since not all the French colonized Vietnam, we shouldn’t say that “The French built thirteen prisons.” This sentence should translate as “The French colonialists built thirteen prisons.” Similarly, “người Mỹ” in this case should translate as “the American invaders”. Also, I prefer to translate “chế độ Miền Nam cũ” as “Sai Gon puppet government (Chính quyền bù nhìn Sài Gòn)”, although “the former Southern regime” is acceptable.
Furthermore, I think “hướng dẫn viên nhiệt tình” doesn’t translate as “helpful guides”, thus I suggest “kind-hearted guides” or “enthusiastic guides”. The author translated “một khu tập trung nhỏ” as “a small, concentrated area”; is it exact if we use “a small concentration camp”?
Finally, I’m really tired with two words “closed” and “blockaded” because I don’t know which is the best for the meaning “khép kín” in the paragraph. My final suggest is that we can translate “điểm đến của những chuyến phiêu lưu khám phá tự nhiên” as “a popular adventure and safari destination”.
In short, as I mentioned before, this translation is quite simple. I hope that my comments will be considered in order to make it better.
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Comment 02
Vietnamese Paragraph: From "Giải quyết tình trạng trẻ em lao động tại bãi rác Đông Thạnh" - Special English Thực hiện dự án hợp tác với UNICEF, từ tháng 8/1999, Ủy ban Bảo vệ và Chăm sóc trẻ em thành phố đã tiến hành khảo sát, lập điểm tư vấn, nâng cao kiến thức và truyền thông, mở lớp xóa mù chữ cho 25 em thanh thiếu niên, khám bệnh phát thuốc cho hơn 1.300 trường hợp, hình thành túi sách, túi dụng cụ TDTT lưu động, giới thiệu 15 em học nghề, vận động đưa 77 hộ với 303 nhân khẩu, trong đó có 148 trẻ em trở về quê. Tuy nhiên việc tiếp tục thực hiện các dự án cũng gặp nhiều khó khăn. Sau khi nghe các đại biểu thảo luận, đề xuất ý kiến, Phó Chủ tịch UBNDTP Phạm Phương Thảo đã tán thành giải pháp theo hướng vận động đưa trẻ cùng gia đình trở về địa phương sinh sống; ngăn ngừa, giảm bớt tiến tới chấm dứt tình trạng trẻ em và nhân dân vào bãi rác kiếm sống.
English Version: "The Settle the Problem of Child Labour at Dong Thanh Dump-Site" In co-operation with UNICEF since August 1999, the Child Protection and care committee has carried out investigation, at the Dump-site, setting up a consultant site, enhancing the level of education for 25 illiterate young children. Besides, they also carried out medical check up and distributed medicine to more than 1,300 cases, creating mobile library, sports bag, introducing 15 children to vocational centers, encouraging 77 families with 303 people with 148 children to come back to their native towns. However the carrying out of these projects has met a lot of difficulties. After hearing discussions and suggestions raised by the delegates, Mrs. Pham Phuong Thao, Vice chairwoman of the city people's committee, has agreed to the solution of encouraging the families and their children to come back to their native town, preventing, reducing and gradually putting an end to the problem of people and children making their living/working at the Dump-site. ------------------------------
In my opinion, the preceding paragraph is a good translation. I’m really like the way that the author translates the phrases.
For example, “thực hiện dự án hợp tác với UNICEF” translates as “In co-operation with UNICEF”. Although the author does not translate the verb “thực hiện”, the English version seems to be very good.
“Ủy ban Bảo vệ và Chăm sóc trẻ em thành phố” translates as “the Child Protection and care committee”; “đã tiến hành khảo sát” translates as “has carried out investigation”… Especially, the author use “besides” to divide one sentence into two English sentences, making the meaning of the content more clearly. Also, this way makes the translation easier for reading. For this reason, I think that the translator does a very good job
Considering the last sentence, we should focus on the phrase “After hearing discussions and suggestions raised by the delegates…” The author uses a past participle (raised) to start a past participle phrase (raised by the delegates) with the function as an adjective to modify the noun phrase (discussions and suggestions). This is a good way that we can use in translating complex sentences.
Comments on paragraph 24 (p.25) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
This is a good translation because it translates extremely closely to the meaning of Vietnamese selection. The paragraph uses simple words and structures and it follows nearly the same structure as the original one.
However, I recognize what appear in Vietnamese text are all translated into English. For example, those word like “voi cac vong dau, trong suot thang 6 Am lich, nhin tu cac nha hang, cho nhung chuyen tau, trong suot cuoc chien tranh cua My, voi kien truc kieu thuoc dia cua Phap, etc” are translated into English without any reduction as “with the preliminary round, during the sixth lunar month, views from many of the restaurants, for ships, during the American war, with its French colonial architecture, etc. This does not mean that we should reduce all of them but such way of translating word by word will make the translation mechanical, dry and not natural. The readers may be confused with lots of Vietnamese proper names and by the way of enumerating information.
Moreover, there is not anything new in the translation. It is sure that the readers understand the translation but they will not find out anything special through the translation about Do son sites.
In my opinion, it is easy for us to translate this paragraph from Vietnamese into English but it is very difficult to find out a good and effective way to translate so as to make the translation smooth, easily understandable and natural. Therefore, at the level of amateur translators, this translation is acceptable and appreciated.
7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com
Comments on paragraph taken from website
http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/
The Vietnamese original text
Tiến tới SEA Games 24 (12/2007): Thể thao Việt Nam dự tranh 31 môn
Ngày 8/10/2007. Cập nhật lúc 21h 41'
Bộ Văn hóa - Thể thao - Du lịch cho biết: Tại Đại hội thể thao Đông Nam Á (SEA Games 24) tại Thái Lan vào tháng 12/2007, Đoàn Thể thao Việt Nam sẽ có khoảng 600 vận động viên tham gia thi đấu 31 môn. Hiện nay, các đoàn đang tiến hành chốt danh sách khoảng 600 VĐV xuất sắc nhất tham dự 31 môn là: Điền kinh; Golf; Thể dục dụng cụ; Bóng ném; Judo; Karate-do; Rowing; Cầu mây; Bắn súng (bắn đĩa bay); Bóng bàn; Teakwondo; Quần vợt; Cử tạ, Vật; Wushu; Thể hình; Khiêu vũ thể thao; Pencak-Silat; Bi sắt; Đua thuyền truyền thống; Cờ vây (thi đấu biểu diễn); Thể thao duới nước (bơi, nhày cẩu, bóng nước); Bắn cung; Cầu lông; Billard-Snooker, Bowling; Quyền anh; Xe đạp; Canoeing; Đấu kiếm; Bóng đá (gồm cả môn bóng đá trong nhà-Fulsat). Đoàn Thể thao Việt Nam phấn đấu lọt vào Top 3 nước dẫn đầu SEA Games 24 với khoảng 70 HCV ở các bộ môn.
BQT- TTX
The English translation
Vietnam athletes to compete in 31 events at 24th SEA Games Updated on 10/9/2007 at 21:16 The Vietnamese team comprising of 600 athletes will take part in 31 events at the 24th SEA Games in December in Thailand, according to the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism. Events include track and field, golf, gymnastics, handball, judo, rowing, sepak takraw, shooting, table tennis, taekwondo, tennis, weight lifting, wrestling, wushu, body building, sports dance, pencak silat, pentague, traditional boat racing, go-chess, water sports, archery, badminton, billiards snooker, bowling, boxing, bicycle racing, canoeing, fencing, and football (including indoor football). Vietnam is targeting the top three with a total of around 70 gold medals.
(CPV/VOV)
My comments
This is a well-translated selection because it translates closely to the original text as well as it uses clear structures and effective choice of words.
I was impressed right at the heading sentence of the translation. This is a good and common way to translate the heading sentence from Vietnamese into English language “Vietnam athletes to compete in 31 events at 24th SEA Games”. In this sentence, the author uses a noun phrase instead a clause or sentence but the meaning is the same. I often see this way of translation appearing on the newspaper and on the reviews on TV. In comparison with the Vietnamese heading sentence “Tiến tới SEA Games 24 (12/2007): Thể thao Việt Nam dự tranh 31 môn”, the English sentence not only covers the expected meaning but also appears to be natural and professional, two of those qualities required in writing newspaper or reporting an event.
The second sentence is very long, which enumerates 31 events Vietnamese team will take part in 24th SEA Games. It is quite easy to translate this sentence, however, the problem is how to translate 31 events into English terms. The author has proved to be very efficient in this field. I learnt a lot of new words relating to sport in this sentence. Some of them are very interesting and new to me. For example, track and field (dien kinh), handball(bong nem), sepak takraw(cau may), body building(the hinh),pentague(bi sat), gochess(co vay) and archery(ban cung). Next time, when I write about a sport event, I will be able to use these words.
The last sentence is also translated very closely to the meaning of the original one but it does not follow exactly the Vietnamese structure. Therefore, the sentence is shorter and easier to understand in terms of English structure.
In conclusion, this is a good and effective translation which expresses fully the meaning of the Vietnamese text and meets necessary qualities of a news report.
This is a well-translated paragraph, the translator uses correct word and structure of the sentences in a suitable way. I really like it. I have some comments on this paragraph What I agree: _ The word "bao boc" is translated as "is bodered" is very suitable because it can reflect the shape of georaphy-something is between 2 things. Some people can translate "bao boc" as "is covered" (not approriate because "cover" means something is inside something else) _ The translator change "trong rong bien va thu hoach de xuat khau" into "cultivate and harvest seaweed for export". It's an excellent change. If we translate it in the normal way: "cultivate seaweed and harvest for export", it sounds not very professional and smooth. What I don't agree: _ "CHien tranh chong My" should not be "American War" because the readers can missunderstand that this is the war in the US, not the war that against the US Army. So, I think we should change it into "War against the US Army". _ The word "trai dai" should be translated as "stretchs", not "runs". _ "nhung khach san 5 sao" is not a specific phrase, it does not mention to any specific place. So, we should not use the word "the" (the several five-star hotels). It should be "several five-star hotels". _ I think that the word "nha nghi" is "rent house", not "housing"-like the translator used.
Assignment2: Vietnamese text" Co tro ve ben cha. Khi buoc vao phong, co thay ong nam do, trong that be nho va om yeu. Ong gang guong tro chuyen cung co nhung khong the. Dieu duy nhat ma co co the lam la ngoi ben canh ong, vong tay om lay doi vai bat dong cua cha minh. Tua dau len nguc cha, co suy ngam nhieu dieu. Co nho lai rang minh luon cam thay duoc cha che cho, nang niu tu tam be. Co thay long quang that truoc noi dau sap mat di nguoi cha yeu quy. Khong con nua roi nhung loi yeu thuong vo ve cua cha. Translation text: And so she went to the site of the great man. When she walked into the room and saw him, he looked small and not strong at all. He looked at her and tried to speak, but he could not. The little girl did the only thing she could do. She sat next to the great man, and drew her arms around the useless shoulders of her father. Her head on his chest, she thought of many things. She remembered she had always felt protected and cherished by the great man. She felt grief for the loss she was to endure, the words of love that had comforted her.
I like this translation text very much because the translator is very professional, he/she use the words that relevant for this context (a text illustrating the love of the daughter for her dying father) such as "great man" (cha), "not strong enough" (om yeu). Especially the phrase "felt grief of loss", it helps the readers feel her hurt of losing father. And there's just one word that I think the translator should change, that is "useless" (bat dong) because I think "useless" has very negative meaning-something has no use. Therefore, I will use the word "unmovable" instead. duylinhctu@yahoo.com
Comments The paragraph just includes two sentences in both the Vietnamese version and the English version, but it has many noticeable to talk about. Firstly, the sentence, “Bãi biển Đại Lãnh, cách Nha Trang 8 km về phía bắc và gần Quốc lộ 1, rất nổi tiếng trong suốt lịch sử với cát trắng và thông biển” is structured with a subordinate clause, surrounded by 2 commas, “cách Nha Trang 8 km về phía bắc và gần Quốc lộ 1” that helps the translator easily recognize the necessity of using a relative clause to form the same sentence: “Đại Lãnh Beach, which is eighty kilometers north of Nha Trang and close to Highway 1, has been famous throughout history for its white sands and sea-pine trees.” The idea that “ Đại Lãnh Beach has been famous throughout history with its white sands and sea-pine trees” is more important than that “it is eighty kilometers north of Nha Trang and close to Highway 1”. So, recognizing the structure of the Vietnamese version well can help translators to create appropriate English translation version. Secondly, in term of word choice, the translator did well with “close”, “has been” and “famous for”. In fact, translators could use “near” or “next to” instead of “close”. However, these words strongly emphasize the location of the beach rather than the aim represented in the Vietnamese version. That is, then, “close” is used to make clear that the writer is mentioning about the advantage of Đại Lãnh beach, “close to Highway 1” rather than its location. Next, the translator used the phrase “has been” that interested me a lot. “ Has been” here means that Đại Lãnh beach was famous in the past and now it is still famous. That’s much better than using “ is” or “ was” instead. Continuously, in the Vietnamese text, we have “rất nổi tiếng …với”, but when it’s translated into English, it must be “famous for”, not “famous with”. From this, we see the importance of mastering adjective phrase in English translation. The second sentence, also the last sentence, contains a problem. The translator wrote, “which King Minh Mệnh built in Hue”. This information was not mentioned in the Vietnamese text even though it may be true. Instead of that, it was just said that, “Dai Lanh was carved by King Minh Mệnh on one of the Nine Urns placed in the Miếu Courtyard in Hue. The Vietnamese version and the English translation are not equivalent. The experience we get from this problem is that we must understand clearly what the source text state before translating. __________________ • Vietnamese text Có hai loại nhiệt kế căn bản – nhiệt kế đặt ở miệng và nhiệt kế đặt ở hậu môn. Sự khác nhau giữa chúng là bầu chứa thủy ngân. Tuy nhiên, cả hai nhiệt kế này hoạt động theo nguyên lí như nhau, đó là thủy ngân có thể giãn nở dài ra theo thang ở một số nhiệt độ, và các điểm này được ghi trên nhiệt kế. Có hai loại thang nhiệt – thang Farhenheit với nhiệt độ bình thường trong vùng của 98,6 độ F, và thang mét với nhiệt độ bình thường trong vùng của 37 độ C. (Source: SELECTIONS OF VIETNAMESE – ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS IN FOCUS Caring for children’s health, by Nguyen Thanh Tam) • English text There are two basic types of thermometer – the oral thermometer and the rectal thermometer. The difference between them is the shape of the bulb containing the mercury. Both, however, work on the same principle, namely, that mercury will expand along a scale at certain temperatures and these points are marked on the thermometer. There are also two scales in use- the old Fahrenheit scale with the normal temperature in the region of 98,6 0 F and the metric scale with the normal temperature averaging at 370 Centigrade. • Comments: The translation is on the whole very smooth and easy to understand. There are not many faults found while there are some good points to notice. Firstly, the Vietnamese phrase “ bầu chứa thủy ngân” is translated into English like, “ the shape of the bulb containing the mercury”, and it is an interesting creation. We can simply translate “ the bulb containing the mercury”, so why we need the word “shape”, then “the shape of”. It helps to modify the idea that the difference between the oral thermometer and the rectal thermometer is exactly “the shape, not something else, of the bulb that contains the mercury. Secondly, do we need to add “ namely” in the second sentence (bold)? That is considered to be necessary in the process of translation. That is, we do not need to follow word-by-word translation. Sometimes, we need to add something that is acceptable to make the translation piece more smooth and easier to understand. The phrase “in use” in the last sentence is another example. Actually, we can write, “ there are two scales” only, and do not need to add “in use”. However, when “in use” is added, it makes the idea of the text clearer.
PARA 131 HUONG PAGODA (PERFUME PAGODA) In my opinion, the piece of translation is rather successful in word choices and appropriate structures. For example, there are 2 verbs in a sentence, “nhung khi ngoi tren thuyen va ngam canh chung quanh thi du khach se co cam giac dong suoi nay dai vo tan.” The translator found the problem. He used a reduced clause, “visitors enjoying a boat ride through the surrounding landscape may feel that this stream is endless.” Here the author used gerund for the verb “enjoying” not for “feel” because feel is the main verb. It carries the main idea of the sentence. One more thing I like in this paragraph is the use of “Yen stream”. In fact, we shouldn’t translate the word “Yen” to keep its original meaning. However, I think we must capitalize the word “Stream” in “Yen Stream” because “Yen Stream” is a name of a place. Additionally, I suppose that we should translate the first sentence, “Chua Huong thuoc xa Huong Son, huyen My Duc, tinh Ha Tay” as “Huong Pagoda (Perfume Pagoda) is located in Huong Son Commune, My Duc District, Ha Tay Province” not as in, “Huong Pagoda (Perfume Pagoda) is located in Huong Son Commune in Ha Tay Province’s My Duc District,…” Moreover, I think that most readers won’t understand quite well one point in the translated sentence: “This complex of pagoda is set amidst mountains, forests, lakes, and caves surrounded by vast green plains of rice.” That point is the verb “surrounded”. I wonder which one it modifies for, caves or the mountains, forests, and caves. When I read the origin paper, I can recognize that the mountains, forests, and caves are surrounded by vast green plains of rice. Therefore, I SUGGEST that we should translate the sentence as in “surrounded by vast green plains of rice, this complex of pagoda is set amidst mountains, forests, and caves.” Besides, I also prefer to use the words “vast green rice paddies”. However, I know that the translator wants to emphasize the feature “dong bang” in “plains”. “Plains” may symbolize the prosperity of people here.
===== Source: TRAVELLIVE NHO CAN THO
Da lau khong ve Can Tho, bong dung long thay nho vo cung…nho ben Ninh Kieu, nho vung dat “gao trang nuoc trong”, nho xu so dong bang chau tho, mot noi ma khach Phuong xa mo duoc den tham du chi mot lan trong doi… Can Tho gao trang nuoc trong Ai di den do long khong muon ve Ben con song Hau hien hoa, tho mong, ben Ninh Kieu ngay dem tap nap ghe xuong cho day ap nhung san vat dia phuong vung chau tho Cuu Long dang hien cho nguoi dong bang. Mua nao thuc ay, thien nhien ban tang cho nguoi Can Tho vo so hoa trai. Man Hong Dao dac ruot My Tho, xoai Cai Be thom ngat, sau rieng Cai Mon com day cui, vang lim. Nhan tieu Vinh Long ngon den noi an hoai khong ngan, oi xa li Cao Lanh vua to vua gion, lai it hat nhat la buoi Nam Roi chua an chua biet no ngon den the nao, nhung da an roi thi cu muon mua that nhieu ve lam qua tang nguoi than. Lieu co phai cai vi vua ngot, vua thanh cua trai cay dong bang Cuu Long la tu phu sa “song Me” ngay dem miet mai chuyen cho, boi dap cho dong bang, tu suc lao dong miet mai cua nguoi nong dan chat phac voi nhung giot mo hoi man chat hay tu nhung guong mat sam den vi nang va ban tay chai san vi cuoc xeng. Nhung dem he day gio va bau troi day sao, dao bo tren ben Ninh Kieu chot thay con song Hau gan gui la. Duoi long song nhung chiec du thuyen cho day loi ca co ngot ngao cung tieng dan kim dao ban Nam Ai nghe sao buon man mac. Duong Hai Ba Trung van chay doc bo song nhung bay gio da moc len nhieu quan ca phe, sinh to, nhieu nha hang voi nhung mon an dam chat Nam Bo luon tap nap khach Tay, khach ta.
===== CAN THO UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCES It is a long time since I last visited Can Tho. Suddenly, I miss that region so much, miss Can Tho’s harbour, miss the land of white rice and pure water, miss the Delta land which everyone hopes to visit once in their lifetime. “Can Tho, the land of white rice and pure water All who come there, never want to leave.” Standing on the gentle and romantic Hau river, Ninh Kieu harbor is crowded with boats full of specialities of the Mekong Delta. They provide for the needs of people everywhere. Each season has its own fruit. Can Tho is endowed with many fresh fruits such as My Tho plum, Cai Be mango, Cai Mon durian, Vinh Long longan, Cao Lanh guava and especially the Nam Roi pomelo which is a wonderful gift for friends and relatives. The sweet flavor of fruits comes from alluvium of the Mekong river, which day and night feeds the delta. It also comes from the hard work of simple hearted peasants from their salty sweat and from sunburnt faces and hands hardened by wrestling with farming tools. On windy and starry summer nights, walking around Ninh Kieu’s harbor, I felt that the Hau river was so deeply familiar. On the river, the boats carry with them sweet ancient melodies and sad Nam Ai tunes. Hai Ba Trung street still runs along both banks of the river. Many cafes and restaurants have emerged offering specialities of the Southern region to local and foreign visitors. ====== The translator cut some part of the origin writing to make the translated paper sound smooth. There are 2 reasons for the translator to cut while translating. The first reason belongs to vocabulary. It is difficult to translate complex words such as “oi khong hat, dac ruot, com day cui, vang lim.” The second one is that the Vietnamese paper has some problems in meaning. The author used simple past tense when he told us his unforgettable experiences in Can Tho. The other tense is simple present used in almost every sentence. There is no identity in using Ninh Kieu’s harbor and Ninh Kieu harbor. I am confused that Ninh Kieu’s harbor would sound strange.
MAI THI THU HONG_7044733 PARAGRAPH 50 This paragraph is about the animals in Phan Xi Pang. The first sentence, “Tại độ cao cao nhất Việt Nam này cóthể nhìn thấy một quần thể động thực vật độc đáo” is” a unique assemblage of plants and animals lives here at Vietnam’s highest altitude”. He used “assemblage” for “ quần thể”, I think “community is better because “assemblage” means a group, it’s smaller than “community”, but here it concludes “animals and plants”, so “community” is better. The next one,” dãy Hiamlaya thu nhỏ lại ở cuối cùng cực đông” is “Himalayas taper to the eastern_most terminus”, the words “taper” and “terminus” are used reasonable which help the reader can image the shape of Himalaya. The next one, “ những ngọn níu cao ngất này là nơi sinh sống của các loài động thực vật quí hiếm”, but in English version doesn’t have any word which means “động thực vật quí hiếm”. there is only “ these high peaks support life forms “. The last one is good, the writer reduced the relative pronoun here, the sentence still coherent. In general, these version have close meaning and English text is not translated word by word in comparative with Vietnamese one. From “ 104 BAI LUYEN DICH VIET_ANH” Ông Đào Duy Từ(ĐDT) thuở còn đi học, gặp ông thầy tính nghiêm khắc hay quở phạt, học trò ai cũng sợ hãi lắm. ông ĐDT chăm chỉ học hành, hết long giữ lễ phép. Một hôm ông bị quở trách dữ dội mà nét nặt không hờn giận. Đến khi ta buổi học, có người an hem bạn hỏi anh rằng “ hôm nau anh fải fạt mà anh không buồn giận là tại làm sao”” Ông nói “phận sự chúng ta đi học là phải chă chỉ để thầy được vui lòng mà ta đã làm thầy phải tức giận là lỗi của ta. Thầy mắng phạt ta là muốn cho ta hay, vậy lẽ nào ta lại oán giận thầy.” DDT, in his childhood, went to a school where he had a very severe teacher who often reprimanded and punished his pupils, every one of them was afraid of teacher. DDT was always studying hard and polite. One day, he was severely scolded by the teacher, yet he didn’t show any sign of sulkiness. After class, a friend of his asked him: “today, you have been punished and why don’t you feel sad/ angry?” He answered:” when going to school, our duty is to be hard working in order to please our teacher, but I have made him angry, so it is my fault. If our teacher reprimands and punishes us just because he wants us to be good, why should I be angry with him?” COMMENT This paragraph talked about Dao Duy Tu, a good and talented person. This paragraph use very simple word and structure so it’s very easy to understand. The first sentence, “ Dao Duy Tu, in his childhood, went to a school where he had a very severe teacher”, this clause is rather redundant. “who often reprimanded and punished his pupils, everyone of them was afraid of teacher”. This sentence is not good because of some reason. Firstly, “had” is not really right, we can use “ study”. Secondly, “teacher” can be replace by him , the teacher, that teacher because that teacher is mentioned already. I translate this sentence like this “ Dao Duy Tu , when he was young, in his school time, he studied with a very severe teacher who often reprimanded and punished his pupils, everyone of them was afraid of him”. The next one is good. We move to the third one, “one day, he was severely scolded by the teacher , yet he didn’t show any sign of skifulness.”, the word choice here is very good such as “scolded” and “sulkiness”. The last one, “a friend of his” is very complicated, I use “ one of his friends”. The rest of this sentence is good. In conclusion, this paragraph is very easy to understand.
20 comments:
Assignment 1 – Paragraph 54 – Page 47
This is a well-translated selection because of word choice as well as structure forming. The first Vietnamese sentence is such a complicated one since it contains many phases that modify other phrases. “Náu mình trong một con vịnh” modifies “thị trấn Cát Bà” when “thuyền bè đánh cá đủ màu” modifies “con vịnh”. It’s very easy for an amateur translator to write in run-on language. The translator has his own way by replacing all relative clauses by the past participle. “Cat Ba Town nestled around a bay filled with colorful fishing boats”. This way really makes the translated sentence smoother. The second sentence is translated with the skill of structure forming. In the original text, the writer used he desperate phrases “ven hai bên đường” before “”là các khách sạn và nhà hàng hiếu khách” which are totally difficult to be translated. And the translator was really skilled when he changed the position of these two phrases. As a result, we have “Friendly hotels and restaurant border the promenade”. However, in this sentence, he used the word “friendly” for “hiếu khách” which did not transfer all the idea of the writer. “Hospitable” is considered to be more acceptable. The last sentence is good because the translator had changed the active form for “buổi chiều đầu tiên du khách nên ” into the passive form “the first afternoon is best spent”. This way aims to emphasize the necessary of the afternoon in Cat Ba and reduce unnecessary details.
Assignment 2 – Paragraph 19 – Practice in Vietnamese – English Translation – Nguyen Thanh Duc
Lương cao, môi trường làm việc rộng, nhiều thách đố, Giao tế nhân sự quả thật là một nghề hiện đại thích hợp với các bạn trẻ có chí cầu tiến. Song thiết nghĩ, để GTNS được thừa nhận và hoạt động một các hợp pháp cũng rất cần sự quan tâm, định hướng và giúp đỡ phát triển của các ngành chức năng.
High salary, large working environment with much challenging, PR’s could be really a modern career, appropriate to the youths being eager for advanced spirit. However, to my mind, in order to be recognized and legally executed, it can also need the concern, orientation and development assistance of many functional organs.
This is really an awful translated selection with terrible word choice and grammar. In the first sentence, with the aim to shorten it, the translator intended to reduce the subject “PR”. However, he used the wrong structure by reducing the main verb. It should be translated as “bringing high salary….” Or “being a job with high salary…”. Secondly, there is a problem in “PR’s could be…”. Two main verbs in a clause make the sentence look ridiculous. Thirdly, the phrase “a really modern career, appropriate to the youths being eager for advanced spirit” needs reconsidering. By using the comma, he again intended to reduce the verb. However, an adjective can not be in that position. “A really modern career which is appropriate …” is more okay. Furthermore, “the youths being eager for…” should be replaced by “the young people who are eager for …” .
The second sentence is also very badly-translated. In a formal selection, the objective ideas should be limited. It’s not good to use “to my mind” here. Moreover, in the next phrase “in order to be recognized and legally executed”, there is the problem of word agreement. When using the word “end”, we should make some arrangement so that what is before and after “end” can be in the same part of speech. “Recognized” and “executed” share the same characteristic as the past-participle. However, in this situation, “executed” is not acceptable because PR can also execute by itself. It’s no need to use it as the past-participle. It should be “in order to be recognized and allowed to execute or operate”. Finally, the word choice is so terrible. The word “organ” is usually used to indicate the parts of the body. In this situation, it is ridiculous to use it and can make the reader laugh out loud. “Department” the the best choice.
Pham Tran Thanh Duy - 7044730
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Vo Chanh Truc – 7044744 – Group 1
Email: vochanhtruc@gmail.com
p. 139 – page 104-105
This translation is good. Of course, I have something to discuss it.
In the first sentence, we can see that the word “đẩy” is translated into “propel”. The translator was skilful when translating in this way because “propel” means to move, drive or push something forward or in a particular direction (Oxford Dictionary). This word is more appropriate than “push” in this context because the local people is making their tiny boats move forward. Also, they have a definite direction to move. Therefore, using “propel” is a better way than using “push”.
In the second sentence, the phrase “không khí rất trong lành” is translated into “the atmosphere is serene”. In my opinion, “trong lành” in this context means “fresh”(pleasantly clean, pure or cool) . Although “serene” (calm and peaceful) can go with the word “atmosphere”, I think it is not a good way to use it in this context to replace the word “fresh”.
Next, let us discuss the 3rd sentence. The first thing to discuss is the difference between the subjects in original version and translated version. In original version, the subject is boats which do the action “glide”. However, in the translated version, the ones who do the action “glide” are visitors. I think there’s this difference because things like boats cannot do an action. Just visitors – human – can do it or also the translator wanted to express what the visitors can enjoy when visiting Tam Coc. Next, there’s also difference between “egrets and storks”. As far as I know, “cò” is translated into “stork”. However, in this sentence, the translator translated “cò” into “egrets” which is “Diệc” in Vietnamese, a bird of the HERON family, with long legs and long white tail feathers. Maybe there are a lot of egrets in Tam Coc instead of “stork”.
In conclusion, the translated version needs to improve something I think.
Buoc dau hoc dich Viet Anh
Nguyen Huu Du
Page 334
Sức khỏe
Sức khỏe rất quí. Đau yếu làm cho chung ta khốn khổ và là một gánh nặng cho xã hội. Chúng ta phải làm gì để giữ gìn sức khỏe? Trước tiên chúng ta phải giữ điều độ trong việc ăn uống. Ăn uống nhiều quá cũng như ăn uống thiếu thốn đều có hại cho sức khỏe. Thứ đến chúng ta phải năng vận động than thể và ngủ đầy đủ. Mất ngủ và thiếu vận động làm cho sức khoẻ con người suy yếu. Sau cùng chúng ta phải giữ gìn than thể sạch sẽ, phòng ở thoáng khí và sống ngoài trời càng nhiều càng tốt.
Translation version
Health
Health is of great value. Illness makes us miserable and is a burden to society. What must we do to keep our health? First, we must be moderate in eating and drinking. Eating and drinking too much as well as insufficient food are harmful to the health. Second we must get plenty of physical exercise and enough sleep. Insomnia and lack of physical exercise may ruin a man’s health. Finally, we must keep our bodies clean, our rooms well-ventilated, and live as much as possible in the open air.
Comment
I think this translation is alright. However, there are something to be improved
In the second sentence, the translator wrote “Illness makes us miserable and is a burden to society”. This sentence made me confused because of its ambiguity. I don’t know whether illness is a burden to society or illness makes us to be a burden to society. In my opinion, the sentence would be translated in this way “Illness makes us miserable and be a burden to society.” That means when we got sickness, we would be a burden to society.
The next sentence (what must we do to keep our health?) is a question. According to the Vietnamese version (Chúng ta phải làm gì để giữ gìn sức khoẻ?), the translator translated it quite well. However, in this context, the author of this article is giving advice to readers. The translator should use the word “should” instead of “must” although “phải” means “must”. So the sentence can be translated in this way “What should we do to keep our health?” And all the word “must” in the translation should be replaced by the word “should”.
Next, I want to discuss this sentence: Eating and drinking too much as well as insufficient food are harmful to the health. I think eating and “drinking too much” and “insufficient food” are not equivalent. I think the sentence should be change in this way: “Eating and drinking too much as well as too little are harmful to the heath.” Translating in this way will make the readers read and understand the text more easily.
In the 6th sentence - Insomnia and lack of physical exercise may ruin a man’s health, the phrase “ruin a man’s health” seems strange to the readers because not many people use it. The translator translated exactly every word from the original version. I think he/she had better you the phrase “may ruin our health”. Although it doesn’t mean exactly what is in the original version, I think it is appropriate to be used in this context.
Although there are some weak points in this translation, the translator was wise to use the word “well-ventilated” instead of “airy” in the last sentence. According to Oxford dictionary, “ventilate” means to allow fresh air to enter and move around a room, building, etc while “airy” means with plenty of fresh air because there is a lot of space. Both of the two words can go with “room” or “office”. However, using “well-ventilated” is more appropriate in this context because a room with small space can be well-ventilated if we equip fans but it cannot be airy because there is not a lot of space. A large room is certain to be airy because there is a lot of space there.
In conclusion, the translator should consider his/her word choice to have good translations.
Le Viet Thu 7044741
jennythu@gmail.com
Optional paragraph:
Vietnamese version: ‘Vai ung cu vien tong thong My co le muon theo su lanh dao cua thu tuong Anh Tony Blair. Theo bao London Telegraph. Blair du dinh tao ra mot chinh phu de cai thien nhac pop, la thu tuong voi cac du an cho gioi tre. Chinh quyen do se ngan chan gioi tre su dung ma tuy va thuyet phuc ho di hoc lai’
Englicsh version: ‘Some of America’s presidential candidates may wat to follow the lead of British Prime Minister Tony Blair. According to he London Telegraph newspaper. Blar plans o create a government position o promote pop music, called a youth-affairs minister. That official wuld also discourage drug use among young people, and urge them to stay in school.
Comment:
In general, the translated English version is quite smooth and it still keeps the main idea of Vietnamese message. However, it still has some problems. First one is related to typing mistakes while. These will make readers not understand what is in the passage. For example, the word ‘wat’ instead of ‘want’, ‘Blar’ for ‘Blair’, or ‘wuld’ for ‘would’, or ‘he’ for ‘the’. This problem should be edited.
Another problem is inappropriate punctuation used in this version. That is if we write ‘According to he London Telegraph newspaper.’ this is just called a phrase and not a sentence. Therefore, this fragment will be followed by a sentence or a clause. This phrase should follow the first sentence ‘some of … Tony Blair’ or should stand in front of the second sentence ‘Blair …a youth-affairs minister’.
One more problem is in word choice in the last sentence. That word is ‘official’. This word is not suitable in this context, because ‘official’ is an adjective and also a noun. Both the meaning of neither adjective and noun convey the meaning ‘chinh phu’. ‘Administration’ or ‘government’ should be appropriate. Another word should be considered is ‘youth-affairs’. First thing belongs to the grammar. Because ‘youth-affairs’ plays a role as an adjective, it should be crossed out‘s’ after ‘affair’. Another is word choice. ‘Affair’ in this context is not appropriate, because it indicates ‘matter, concern thing on thing to be added to’ or ‘thing or event’. However, the main idea is ‘du an’. So a word ‘project’ should be used. In short, this entire word is ‘youth-project’
Also in this sentence, phrase ‘called a youth-project minister’ should change the position. It should follow after ‘Blair’ to modify for ‘Blair’. In my opinion, this sentence should be ‘According to the London newspaper, Blair, known as a youth-project minister, plans to create a government position to promote pop music.’
To sum up, although the translated version contains some problem, it is quite good and smooth. If this version is revised, it will be better and more perfect. Anyway, it is a good version.
Compulsory paragraph: Paragraph 143 page 109
Generally, this translated version is good and smooth. It keeps the main idea of the original text. The author is quite successful in using appropriate word for this context. Moreover, s/he arranges the idea quite suitably. However, this text includes some problems.
The first one I want to mention is using proper name. In this text, the author use ‘Marble Mountain’ replaced for ‘Ngu Hanh Son’. I think the writer should not replace it, because ‘Ngu Hanh Son’ is a proper name. If s/he changes, s/he will not keep Vietnamese traditions or customs involved in ‘Ngu Hanh Son’. If s/he wants to change, s/he just translates only one word ‘Son’ into ‘Mountain’ and other words still keep.
Another problem is using modifier and its position, and using words in the last sentence. The first thing I want to discuss is words ‘some of the caves’. Although these words are right when using in some context, they are not appropriate in this context because after ‘some of the caves’ has a relative clause that modifies and makes clear for a noun standing before. However, I do not know which word or phrase this relative clause modifies: ‘some’ or ‘caves’. In sentence ‘Some of the caves, which were only….’, I may understand that ‘…,which were only…,…’ will modify for ‘caves’ , not for ‘some’. Therefore, ‘some of the caves’ should be changed into ‘some caves’. It still keep the idea and also clearer to the readers.
One more thing is in phrase ‘revolutionary troops’. In my opinion, this phrase is right and acceptable in this context. The word ‘troop’ indicates the group of people. It can be accepted. However, one more word can be used to convey the meaning ‘chien si’ is ‘fighter’. This word ‘fighter’ is maybe more exact because ‘troop’ is a group in which fighters are included. ‘Revolutionary troops’ means ‘many group of fighters with different duties’. In general, ‘troop’ and ‘fighter’ both can be used in this context.
Paraph 86 page 71
In general, the translaton is smooth and keep full meaning from the source test. However, there are some points I disagree with the translator. Firstly, I think the translator should translate Vietnamese word “núi đá” into “rock moutain” in English in the first sentence. If the translator use “rock”, readers can understand that Dinh Cậu is the name of a rock, not a mountain.
Secondly, the translator has mistake with the grammar point in the phrase: “sand and sea and sun and stone”. Between “sand” and “sea”, “sea” and “sun” we should use a comma: “sand, sea, sun and stone”.
I wonder why the translator uses the word “harmony” in the translation. I think it is not necessary in this situation because this word is usually used for music. We can delete this word and change “perfect” into adverb which can keep the meaning of the source.
In the second sentence, the word “rock” should also change into “rock mountain”.
There are some problems in the last sentence. In the source, the writer says that: “Có các bậc đá đưa du khách lên đỉnh” but in the translation, this sentence is translated into: “Steps take visitors to the top”. I think this translation dose not emphasize the meaning that in Dinh Cậu, there are steps to help visitors to the top.
One more thing I disagree when the translator uses the phrase “gentle sea breeze” because the word “breeze” means “gentle wind” so it is not necessary to use the word “gentle” in this phrase. But I like the way the translator translate form a clause “gió thổi nhè nhẹ” into a noun phrase “gentle sea breeze”. It make the translation shorter and simpler.
NĂM HỌC MỚI
Các em thân mến!
Hôm nay là mồng năm tháng chín, các em hăm hở trở lại trường. Nhưng có vài em còn luyến tiếc mấy tháng hè rong chơi thỏa thích. Nhưng thôi! Đã đi học thì phải quyết chí chuyên cần. Năm nay lên lớp trên các em phai cố gắng hơn.
Các em mỗi tuổi một lớn, trí óc mỗi ngày một khôn, sự học cũng phải mỗi ngày một tấn tới.
Các em phải cố gắng học cho khỏi phí thì giờ. Và có như vậy mai đây trưởng thành mới làm tròn bổn phận người dân được.
Bài dịch: A NEW SCHOOL YEAR
My dear pupils,
Today is the fifth of september, therefore, all of you are eager to come back to school. But there are some of you who still longingly remember the summer holiday when they enjoyed themselves. But that will do, once you go to school, you should set your mind to studies. This year, in the higher form, you should spend much more efforts.
You become taller and taller every year, your minds get clever and clever, so you should make more and more progresss in your studies.
Nguyen Thi Minh Trang 7044743
nmtrang86@gmail.com
Book: Vietnam’s natural beauty.
Vietnamese text:
Những vết tích lịch sử cũng cho thấy các vua Trần đã sử dụng Đồ Sơn làm căn cứ quân sự. Năm 1288, Việt Nam đánh bại quân xâm lược Nguyên – Mông, làm đắm hàng trăm chiếc thuyền buồm của chúng trong một trận kịch chiến tại cửa sông Đại Bàng gần tháp Nhĩ Sơn.
English text:
Historical traces also show that the Tran Kings used Do Son as a marine base. In 1288, the Vietnamese defeated Yuan-Mongolian invaders, sinking hundreds of their junks during a fierce battle in the mouth of Dai Bang River near Nhi Son Tower.
Comments:
I would like to give my comments on the word - choices and grammar points. In my opinion, the word “marine base” belongs to another meaning. So, I strongly recommend that it must be “military base” so that the English text can conserve the gist of the source language. The second point is that these words “junks” and “mouth” can not make clear the Vietnamese words. The target text would be, therefore, better if I suggested changing them into “sailing-boats” and “estuary”. In addition, the second sentence shows the problem of using unparallel verbs. It is clear to see that “defeated” in simple past but “sinking” in present participle. Thus, the solution is to put “sinking” back to simple past “sank”. Beside a few weak points, the text possesses a strong one is that it keeps the main ideas of the source text which contributes to present a nice translation.
Finally, let me introduce the improved translation:
“Historical traces also show that the Tran Kings used Do Son as a military base. In 1288, the Vietnamese defeated Yuan-Mongolian invaders, sank hundreds of their sailing-boats during a fierce battle in / at the estuary of Dai Bang River near Nhi Son Tower.
Book: Vietnamese-English translation 1
Vietnamese text:
Do tính chất mới mẻ của công việc, tại Việt Nam chưa có trường lớp hay chương trình chính qui nào đào tạo các GTNS. Phần lớn các GTNS tại thành phố là các người học ở nước ngoài, do các công ty GTNS đào tạo hoặc học qua kinh nghiệm.
English text:
Due to unusual character of the job, there hasn’t been any school of full times’s curriculum to train PR’s specialists in Viet Nam. The majority of them in this city are usually come from foreign studying person, trained by PR’s companies and some among them are from self – studying by experiences.
Comments:
I am pity to say that I have different ideas on the translation. Firstly, the word “unusual” can not be approved soon because of its inexact meaning. Secondly, in my opinion, I consider that the phrase “…any school of full times’s curriculum” contains unclear meaning. Moreover, it is not necessary to say “PR’s specialists”. Also, I wonder that why does not the author use “in the city” instead of “in this city” because the text implies city in general and does not mention to the concrete city. Thirdly, I think the big problem of the text is to use passive voice “are…come” to express the idea. And is it better if the author uses “people” instead of “person” in plural noun. By the way, I support the word “people”. And once passive voice is unsuitable in this sentence, the author can not reduce “are trained” into “trained” as in the text. Therefore, there should be “who are trained” so that the sentence will include clear and exact meaning. Next, to avoid having further translation, I suggest crossing out “and some among them are from self-studying” and replace with “or study”. I think this is the best way to prevent the translation from confusion. Finally, it is impossible to add “s” after the uncounted noun “experience”.
So, to me, the translation will be:
“Due to fresh character of the job, there has not been any schools or regular programs to train PR in Viet Nam. The majority of them in the city usually come from foreign studying people who are trained by PR’s companies or study by experience”.
Tien 7044742
Tien8721@yahoo.com
Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Paragraph 118; page 91
Many people say that: Vietnamese is a hard language to recognize the structure or the components of the sentence. Yes, I think so. The first sentence “Chỉ cách trung tâm Đà Lạt 3 km” can be a proof. This sentence can be an ambiguous one if the writer does not mention the notes: “ Thac Cam Ly” in bold letters and the using “colon” after them. I think the translator is so good in using sentence: “This waterfall is located only three kilometers from the center of Da Lat”. This is clearer because at least I can recognize that it is a “waterfall”. However, everything also has two sides. So, the translator also has some problems in using words. For example, “Ở Việt Nam” are translated by “ In Vietnamese”. I think this is rather wrong because “Vietnamese” just express people or language in Viet nam not express country.
Moreover, when using the expression of emotion, the translator uses “dear” replace for “ơi”, the way of calling. I think “dear” using here is not necessary. Should every word be translated? I think it will be better if the translator know how to choose suitable words to translate more than translate almost words in the text. So, I think the lyrics of a song should be translate like this:
“Da Lat, do you hear Cam Ly
Weeping for its first broken love?”
That is just my feeling about the way of translation. Anyway, the translator is so good in translation, just some piece of mistakes that maybe anyone can meet in translation from one text to another text. So translation should take care from some small details to build a completed translation.
Vietnamese text
QUÝ THỜI GIỜ
Trăm năm kể cũng lâu, nhưng thấm thoát cũng chẳng được là bao. Đời người, phần ngồi rỗi ăn dưng thì nhiều, phần làm viêc chẳng có mấy. Lúc còn bé, ngây thơ, chưa biết lo nghĩ, lúc già, sức yếu hay có tính chán nản, cái tuổi cường trán có thể gánh vác nổi công việc, thì chỉ độ chừng vài mươi năm. Thế mà nhiều người rông dài nay đây mai đó, gặp đâu là nhà, ngả đâu là giường, việc ở gần, có mắt như không thấy, việc ở xa, có tai như không nghe thấy. Họ chỉ nghĩ đến ăn ngon mặc đẹp, ngủ kĩ cho qua ngày tháng.Rút cục từ thuở nhỏ cho đến lúc bạc đầu, họ chẳng làm dược công trạng gì cả.Những hạng người như thế thật không biết quý giá trị của thời giờ.
English translation
TIME IS PRECIOUS
One hundreds year is rather a long period, but as time passing gradually we haven’t got much of it. A man’s life, the part that we spend for idle things is more than the one that we spend for work. When young, we were naïve, not knowing of thinking, when old, we are weak and not discouraged, the active and energetic period that we can undertake difficult tasks just about some tens of years. Yet, many people are wandering about everywhere that they come is their house, everything that they lie on is their bed, things new to them, they won’t see, things far to them, they won’t hear. They are only thinking of good food, nice clothes, sound sleep and pleasures to pass the time. Eventually, from their youth to the time when their hair is white, they can achieve no merit. People as such never know the value of time.
MY COMMENT
I have done a lot of comparisons between two texts but I think this is the first time I have admired the English version most. Although it also exists the influence of Vietnamese way such as its translation is word-by-word translation. Most of sentences in the English version can prove that. For example, “luc con be, ngay tho, chua biet nghi;luc gia, suc yeu, hay co tinh chan nan…etc” are translated by “when young, we were naïve,not knowing of thinking; when old, we are weak, and easily discourage…etc”. The English sentence just focus on meaning, and it does not focus on grammar because its grammar is wrong. In addition, “the ma” are translated by “yet”(tuy nhien). I think this is not suitable because “the ma” express something happen that you know the event but finally, it does not happen as you want. But “yet” does not express suitably the meaning of “the ma’. However, I still admire it because it gives me a clearer version than Vietnamese one. I think the using of words in Vietnamese text is so hard,unclear. Some words or phrases that I do not know how to express. So thank to the handout, I can get more expression that i never know before. For example, “rong dai”; “gap dau la nha;nga dau la giuong”; “rut cuc”; “cong trang”..etc. these words are so strange and sound as slang words that Vietnamese people often use to speak in daily conservation. In addtion, I think that English version is so clever in using translation words. This makes not only me but also readers feel easy to understanding clearly.
Through these two texts, I think that translation from Vietnamese to English will be easier and better if Vietnamese texts is clear in using expression,and avoiding using slang words is also necessary.
(120 BAI LUYEN DICH VIET ANH)
LE THI MY XUYEN
Class 01- 7044746
Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com
PARAGRAPH 23, PAGE 25
In my opinion, this is a translated version which the translator transformed quite sufficient content from the Vietnamese version by smooth and understandable clauses. However, some of words used which should be replaced. For example, “cac nha dau tu” I think it should be “investors” instead of “developers” because “investor” will be better very much than “developer” in the context of this passage. In addition, the translator is not very clever to turn clauses into noun-phrase to bring to readers a short and understandable translated version. To compare with the Vietnamese version, he translated word by word, sentence by sentence with detailed meaning of the version. So, the translated version seems be longer with many verbs. Furthermore, we can say “tang lop thuong luu” with many statementS like “upper strata, upperclass; upper stratum; upper background; upper walk of life” so I don’t know which word is the best to use for this context. Finally, “mot song bac huong ra phia ngon hai dang tren dao Hon Dau cach bo bien 4 km” translated into “a casino with a view of the Hon Dau lighthouse four kilometers out to the sea which I see that it is not really good because of using ambiguous noun-phrase.
In general, the translation is quite understandable and it transform the whole meaning of the Vietnamese version exactly. But it still exists some limited to become an excellent translation version.
HUONG DAN LUYEN DICH VIET ANH
TRAN TRI THIEN- NHA XUAT BAN THANH NIEN
VIETNAMESE VERSION
Tai cua ngo Dong Bac Thanh Pho Ho Chi Minh, voi dien tich gan 11000 m2 ben canh bo song Tac, co khu du lich sinh thai Vuon co. Vuon co thuoc ap Go Cong, Phuong Long Thanh My, quan 9, nam trong mot quan the du lich gom: lang ca be , cu lao Ong Dia , chua Hoi Son va vuon cay an trai ven song Tac. Hang ngay co gan 10.000 con co hoi tu ve day voi nhieu chung loai (co minh den canh trang, co mo vang, co ca…)
English version
At the North-Eastern gateway of Ho Chi Minh City is Vuon Co (Stork Sanctuary) ecotourism spot on an area of over 11000 square meters by the Tac river in Go Cong hamlet, Long Thanh My Ward, District 9 in a tourist complex including: the fish in cage village, Ong Dia Islet, Hoi Son pagoda and the fruit tree gardens along the Tac river. Everyday there are about 10000 storks of differences species (storks with black bodies and white wings, yellow-biiled storks, fish storks…) gathering here.
This is a quite good translated version of the translator Tran Tri Thien. The translation transformed the whole meaning of the Vietnamese version by understandable and exact
noun-phrases. Especially, he combined two first sentences to become one in the English version which makes the passage seems shorter and better than the base one so that we could emphasize the natural beauty of Vuon Co (Stork Sanctuary) ecotourism spot. Next sentences are also very good and understandable with using the suitable words to describe the beauty of various species of storks. But, I don’t know whether it was exact scientific name.
the translation is quite good , smooth and understandable. However, some of dialects which I don’t know if he translated exactly such as “lang ca be(cage fishing village);quan the (Population; community); du lich sinh thai (green tourism; ecotourism)…would you please look for this matter.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you very much.
HO DINH QUOC
7044738
GROUP 1
DINHQUOC1985@GMAIL.COM
Nguyen Hong Hieu
7044732
honghieumay@gmail.com
core text: Viet Nam 's natural beauty
Reading the paragraph 20. page 23 I have some interesting thing to comment
First sentence, in English version we can see the phrase once the site why the author use definite article the, whether he use the site to imply Van Ban pagoda. I think that the first sentence is not equivalent to the first sentence in Vietnamese version because the site does not give enough meaning to word nơi có. If the writer uses once the site of the famous bell that means Van Ban pagoda is the site of the bell, not the bell is in Van Ban pagoda. Moreover, is next to the tower, it make the readers confuse which tower that the writer want to mention.
Second sentence: if the writer translates word by word in Vietnamese version, it would not be good translation. For example: if he translates this is the oldest frozen bell in Viet Nam, so it would not be as good as the frozen bell, one of the oildest in Viet Nam. We can see that in English version, the writer commbine two sentences in Vietnamese version, and then translate it into one sentence in English.
Fourth sentence, It is on display now, why don’t he use it is dispalyed like the sentence in Vietnamese version đang được trưng bày. I think it is on display makes the sentence smooth and its sound smoother.
Fifth sentence, the bell fell , it doesn’t mean bi roi in Vietnamese but the bell itself fell into the sea unedr the influence of a storm. Not someone make it fall into the seabed
Seventh sentence, during its centuries, I think it is not good because its centuries trhat means the centuries of the bell, but the meaning of that phrase is the centuries when the bell in the sea. It would be better if he use in centuries instead of duing its centuries.
Additional text:
Vuong Cac. 120 bai Luyen dich Viet Anh. P21
Nghi he
Troi nong nuc, kho chiu. Hoc nhieu nghi lam so duoi suc va met tri, nen vao khoang may thang he, tu trung tuan thang sau den dau thang chin, cac truong deu dong cua. Tuy vay, nguoi hoc tro tot khong nen lay co nghi ma sao lang viec hoc. Moi ngay cung phai on tap lai cac bai trong vai gio thi moi khong quen nhung dieu da hoc, nhu vay nam sau vao truong moi du suc thi dua cung ban be trong lop.
Summer vacation
The weather is hot and disagreeable. Learning and thinking a lot would exhaust our body and mind, therefore during a few months of summer, from the middle of June to the beginning of September, all school are closed. However, a good student should not make a ptetext of his holiday to neglect his study. Everyday, he should review his lessons for few hours so as not to forget what he has leanrt, and he will be able to compete with his classmates the next school year.
Reading this translation I have some interesting things to comment:
First sentence both English and Vietnamese version is equivalent.
Second sentence, we see in Vietnamese version hoc nhieu nghi lam so duoi suc va met tri, if the writer translate exactly word by word like we fear that studing and thinking a lot would make us tired. It would be good like in English version Learning and thinking a lot would exhaust our body and mind.
In the third sentence, we see that the writer used word pretxet mean vien co in Vietnamese, and he used neglect means sao lang in Vietnamese, the use of these word is good and it give equivalent meaning between the two versions.
In the fourth sentence, in English version he used the words should review his lessons in few hours, I think it give eqivalent meaning to the same sentence in Vietnamese version. However, the phrase so as not to forget what he has learnt does’t give enough the meaning of what he has learnt, when he got that knowlegde, I think he must use so as not to forget what he has learnt in the last semester or last school year.
Vo Thi Minh Due
7044729
Class A1
minhdue@gmail.com
From 109 bai dich Viet- Anh
Vietnamese paragraph
Đêm hôm ấy là một đêm trăng ở trên sông Hương. Theo thói quen của các nhà văn sĩ kinh đô,tôi và mấy bạn hữu có thuê một chiếc đò, kiểu đo có máy che một nửa, thường những đêm hè sáng sủa hay chở những khách thơ chơi phiếm trên Hương giang.
English paragraph
That night was a moonlighting on the perfume river. According to the metropolitan writers'habit, a few of my friends and I rented a small ferry-boat, a kind of half roofed one, which is often used to carry poetically minded persons dawdling their away on the perfume river.
My comment
Through the original paragraph, we can imagine the beauty and romance of Huong river. However, I do not think the English version is a good one. In my opinion, the translation should have some changes to make it better. For example, in the first sentence, translator used the word "perfume river" to tranfer the name "song Huong". It is really unsuitable because "Huong " is a proper noun. So we should keep it in the translation. In my case, I will retranslate "song Huong" into "Huong river". One more thing,using "my friends" to translate "ban huu" is not enough.I think we should use "my close friends to make its meaning clear". On the other hand, the translation also has its good points which I like.For example, the phrase "kieu co mai che mot nua",I don not know how to translate this one into English.However, the translator used a very excillent phrase to transfer it: " a kind of half roofed one"
PARAGRAPH 17
In my opinion, this version would be better if there were a little bit change in the word using.Some words in English translation is not meaningful enough to express the content of Vietnamese one.If I transfered this paragraph, I would change some words , such as "say", in the first sentece, into "consider", "to burn" into " to smoke","people in Hon Gai" into " Hon Gai's citizens" and "these fires" into "those fires". I hope that these changes will help the translation more convincible.
My comment on The Paragraph 67 in Page 57:
Bach Ma National Park
The English translated reading text is a good one. On the whole, the translator has kept the general meaning in comparison with the Vietnamese reading one. In addition, the translator has kept the same sentence structure in two first sentences.
In the first sentence, it is right when the translator translated “Bien Dong” into “Eastern Sea” , but “Vietnamese-Lao border” is not very good choice. It should be “Vietnam-Lao border” because it is the border between two countries Vietnam and Lao whereas the translator means nationality. And in the second sentence, when we talk about “điểm cực bắc”, we can use “Northernmost part” instead of “at the end of the North” in the reading. And i think we should use “top” to indicate the highest part of a mountain. In the third sentence, the translator has changed the structural sentence, but the translator’s word choice is not very suitable. For instance, to describe streams and rivers, the translator has used “complex” and the system of streams and rivers in the text are not pluralized. It is supposed ……..
In the last sentence, the translator’s word choice is Ok except using “offering” to create “scenic splendours”. Should this sentence be as “….lakes and lagoons creating splendid sceneries”
Here my opinions about the translation reading”
Extra Activity:
Luyen dich Anh-Viet, Viet-Anh ( Lê Huy Lâm- Trương Hoàng Duy- Phan Văn Thuận)
Tổ chức y tế thế giới (WHO) đã chọn ngày 7 tháng 4 hàng năm làm Ngày Thế Giới không hút thuốc lá. tác hại của thuốc lá thì ai cũng biết, và con số những nơi công cộng cấm hút thuốc đang nagỳ càng nhiều. Sự công khai hợp lý mà công luận đã đưa ra trong thời gian dài và việc truyền bá các phương cách hữu hiệu để từ bỏ thuốc lá đã tạo nên các kết quả tích cực và đáng mong đợi đến nỗi nhiều con nghiện đã nói lời từ biệt với thuốc lá. Sau khi chịu đựng nhiều cực hình trong quá trình cai nghiện, phần thưởng mà họ nhận được là kết quả của quá trình cai nghiện đó. Yếu tố quan trọng nhất chắc chắn dẫn đến thành công trong quá trình từ bỏ thuốc lá là tính kiên trì của con người.
The World Health Organization has designated April 7th of each year as the International No-Smoking Day. The harm of smoking has been proverbial, and the number of no-smoking public places is on the increase. The pertinent publicity afforded by public opinion over a long time and the popularization of effective ways of giving up smoking have produced such positive and desirable results that many addicts have kissed tobacco good bye. They have, after suffering a lot in the process of quitting smoking, been amply rewarded by the resultant benefit. The key to quitting smoking altogether lies in perseverance, which is the surest road to success.
In my opinion, this is a very good translated reading text. The translator is very clever in using words; he (she) has used some flexible expressions of words. For example, the translator has used “designated” instead of using verb “choose” as in the original Vietnamese one. Moreover, he (she) decided word “proverbial” to translate the phrase “thì ai cũng biết”. The sentence structure is also good. The translator has changed some structures to make the reading more varied with keeping the same meaning as in the Vietnamese reading text.
However, the translator’s choice words “kissed tobacco good bye” to mention that smokers quit their smoking habit is not a very successful one. In this case, we can say “….many addicts have given up smoking”.
In general, this translation is also well-translated text, specially i choosing words.
Nguyen Thi Linh Da- 7044728- A1
HUYNH TO NUONG
Class 1
My email: jennyhuynha16@yahoo.com
Paragraph 88 on page 71:
In general, the English text is good, but there is one difference between the original text and the translated one.
The author wrote “Những người bán hàng rong đội nón, ngồi dưới đất”. The comma shows that there are 2 actions “wear” and “sit”.But the translator translated “vendors in conical-palm hats sit on the ground”. There is only one action “sit”.
In theVietnamese text, readers can understand that some people wear hats, other sit on the ground because of the comma. In the English one, readers may understand that some peole who wear hats sit on the ground.
This point makes the readers confused, and makes the sentence ambiguous.
Further Reading:
Để bước vào năm 2020 thành công, cách chuẩn bị hánh trang tốt nhất là tu dưỡng và học tập, tu dưỡng tư cách đạo đức để làm người, học văn hóa để biết sống văn minh , học khoa học công nghệ để lao động giỏi. Học trong nhà trường, học trong lao động, học trong xã hội, học thầy. học bạn, học đồng nghiệp, tự học, học nữa học mãi.
To enter the year 2020 successfully, self-improvement and study are the best ways of preparation. We self-improve our dignity to behave in a humanly way. We study culture to live in a civilized way. We study science and industry to work excellently. Study in schools, in society, in social activities. Study from teachers, friends and colleagues. Self-study!Continuously study!Study forever!
My comment:
There are some words which should be written because of inappropriate word choices such as “study” (studying), and “industry” (technology).
“science and industry” doesn’t really mean “khoa học công nghệ” so it should be written.
“Study in schools, in society, in social activities. Study from teachers, friends and colleagues. Self-study!Continuously study!Study forever!” , these sentences were translated differently from the original text. In the original one, they are complete sentences. They should be “Studying takes place at schools, through work, through society, through social activities, from teachers, friends and colleagues, by self studying and studying more and forever.
Đoàn Thị Thúy Hằng
SPAV: 01-K30
MSSV: 7044731
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn
Doanhang828515@gmail.com
Assignment 1
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Page 84 – 85, paragraph 108
After reading the paragraph 108, I have following comments:
I think we can translate the phrase “Thác này cách Đà Lạt 10 km” – “This waterfall ten kilometers from Đà Lạt” into some different ways such as “This waterfall is far from Đà Lạt 10 km”, “Situated some forty kilometers of Đà Lạt”, “This waterfall is located 10 kilometers from Đà Lạt”. These have the same meaning. Next, “nổi tiếng với làn nước trắng xóa như một tấm màn bằng vải sa-tanh trắng rủ xuống chân cầu ở phía sau các ngọn thác” – “is famous for its cascade – a white satin curtain falling over the foot - bridge located behind the falls.” In Vietnamese text, the writer use simile with the word “như” but in English version, the translator did not use this kind of rhetorical method, on the contrary, he used hyphens “is famous for its cascade – a white satin curtain falling over the foot -”. I think it also a good way to express emphasis the beauty of Prenn waterfall. Another, In English people use preposition “for” after the word “famous” but in Vietnamese, people use preposition “với” after the word “nổi tiếng”. So, we should care about using suitable prepositions when translating. Also, in the English version, we can confuse with the words “waterfall” and “cascade”. Although “cascade” have the same meaning with “waterfall”, in this case their meaning are different. In fact, “waterfall” means a stream that falls from height, eg over rock while “cascade” means a waterfall, esp one of several falling in stages down a steep slope with rocks. So, choosing each word shows particular intention of the translator. In the last sentence, it has a change of expression in Vietnamese and English text, however, it does not cause any changes about meaning. In some cases, the translator can change expression providing that the meaning is preserved. In general, the English version is good at both meaning and trsutures. I really like it.
Assignment 2
Vietnamese text:
Tại buổi tiếp Đại sứ Nhật Bản Norio Hattori ngày 4/10, Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng nhấn mạnh, chính phủ Việt Nam - Nhật Bản phải có trách nhiệm giải quyết sự cố sập nhịp dẫn cầu Cần Thơ không để ảnh hưởng đến quan hệ giữa hai nước.
Thủ tướng nêu rõ, vấn đề đặt ra cho Chính phủ Việt Nam là phải sớm tìm cho được người mất tích cuối cùng, chăm lo chữa trị cho những người bị thương, trợ giúp cho những gia đình bị nạn kể cả trước mắt cũng như lâu dài.
English text:
The Vietnamese and Japanese governments must be held responsible for settling the Can Tho bridge collapse while ensuring it does not affect the two countries’ relationship, Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung told the Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam on October 4th.
PM Dung said the two governments should cooperate closely in searching for the last worker who is still missing, caring for the injured and aiding the families of the victims in both the short and long term.
After reading the article, I have some comments:
In the first sentence, the source text was written in “reporting statement” form. So, translator used equivalent form when translating into English. Next, the Vietnamese text “Tại buổi tiếp đại sứ Nhật Bản ngày 4/10, Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng nhấn mạnh was translated into “ Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung told the Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam on October 4th”. In my opinion, although the meaning of the English version is not too different from the source text , the translator should translate the phrase: “Tại buổi tiếp Đại sứ Nhật Bản Norio Hattori” as well as the word “nhấn mạnh”. This can make the English version more equivalent to Vietnamese text. To me, it should be “In a talk with Japanese Ambassador to Viet Nam in October 4th, Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung emphasized….” In this sentence, I like the phrase “must be held responsible for” best because the words “must” and “held” here show emphasis of the statement. In this sentence, I also pay attention to the word “while”. We know that people use “while” to talk about two longer actions that go on at the same time. Particularly, in formal speech and writing, people can often leave out the subject + be in clauses with while if the main and subordinate clause refer to the same subject. So, using the word “while” in this case is reasonable and referable. Moreover, in press language, it requires the article should have condensed content and adequate information. Thus, people prefer to abridge long structures by using an –ing, past participle (-ed) or being + past participle (-ed) clause. In the last sentence, we can see such a structure. In my opinion, this English version can be accepted but it is not a good version because it preserves the meaning of the target text in relativity.
7044735- Đào Thị Lương- class 1- lauradao86@gmail.com
Comment 1:
Book: “Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty”-paragraph 32-“Bà Rịa – Vũng Tàu”-page 30,31.
In general, the paragraph is translated into English well. The word choices are suitable for the ideas to be translated. The translator separated the Vietnamese word “đồi núi” into two English words “hills, mountains”, which shows a clear difference between Vietnamese and English. The proper name “Bà Rịa –Vũng Tàu Province” is kept the same with the one in Vienamese. This makes the translation text be close to the original. The structures used are simple but comprehensible and similar to Vietnamese ones. However, there is one small mistake in the words used which changes the idea , “seventy-two kilometers” should be “seventy kilometers”.
In conclusion, the translation text is well-organized and good in terms of words chosen.
Comment 2:
Book: “Practice in Vietnamese-English Translation 1”- para 11- page 24.
Vietnamese paragraph:
“Giám đốc một doanh nghiệp sản xuất hàng quà tặng tại Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh cho biết hiện doanh nghiệp của ông có hơn 10 mẫu hang chuẩn bị tung ra trong dịp Sea Games 22 sắp tới, nhưng doanh nghiệp hiện nay trong thế “tiến thoái lưỡng nan” không thể tiến hành lên kế hoạch sản xuất được vì không biết chi phí phải trả cho ban tổ chức bao nhiêu để định giá sản phẩm.”
English paragraph:
A manager of an enterprise producing souvernir gifts in Hồ Chí Minh city stated that there would be more than 10 souvenir models available to be launched on the occasion of the forthcoming SEA Games 22 but his business was in the dilemma of unability to work out any production plan because the enterprise couldn’t evaluate how much money should be paid to the Organization Board to set the right price.
My Comment:
I think the English translation can help readers have a main idea of the paragraph. However, when I consider it in details, I realize there are some points that I don’t agree with the translator. First, in term of word choices , I want to change some words such as, “A manager of an enterprise producing souvernir gifts” should be “The director of a gift production enterprise”; “stated” replaced by “said”; “souvenir models” replaced by “model products”. These replacing words, I think, are more suitable and closer to the ideas in the Vietnamese paragraph. The word “unability” should be “inability”. Some words such as “SEA Games 22” or “Organization Board” don’t need to be capitalized in all letters.
The structure used should be more formal. The phrase “… but his business was in the dilemma of unability to work out any production plan…”should be separated into a new sentence: “However, his business was in the dilemma of inability to work out any production plan…”
In brief, The translation text gives readers the gist of the paragraph but it needs to be improved more about words choices and sentence structures.
7044783 Au Tai Tien
aucaijin@gmail.com
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Comment 01
Book: Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Paragraph 78, Page 64-65
After reading paragraph 78 (both the original and the English version) about Côn Đảo, I cannot say that I have learnt so many interesting things from the author. This translation does not seem to have a good word for me.
The first thing I would like to comment is that the author does not have a good ability at word choice. Basically, he does not think of the meaning of words in context carefully. For example, “Côn Đảo còn nổi tiếng với cái tên Đảo nhà tù” translates as “Côn Đảo is famous as Prison Island” in English, making readers very proud of the wound of the past. I think that is not a good way. Is it better if we replace “famous” by “is known”? I suggest translating the first sentence as “Not only does Con Dao have some spectacular scenery, but it is known as Prison Island.”
Since not all the French colonized Vietnam, we shouldn’t say that “The French built thirteen prisons.” This sentence should translate as “The French colonialists built thirteen prisons.” Similarly, “người Mỹ” in this case should translate as “the American invaders”. Also, I prefer to translate “chế độ Miền Nam cũ” as “Sai Gon puppet government (Chính quyền bù nhìn Sài Gòn)”, although “the former Southern regime” is acceptable.
Furthermore, I think “hướng dẫn viên nhiệt tình” doesn’t translate as “helpful guides”, thus I suggest “kind-hearted guides” or “enthusiastic guides”. The author translated “một khu tập trung nhỏ” as “a small, concentrated area”; is it exact if we use “a small concentration camp”?
Finally, I’m really tired with two words “closed” and “blockaded” because I don’t know which is the best for the meaning “khép kín” in the paragraph. My final suggest is that we can translate “điểm đến của những chuyến phiêu lưu khám phá tự nhiên” as “a popular adventure and safari destination”.
In short, as I mentioned before, this translation is quite simple. I hope that my comments will be considered in order to make it better.
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Comment 02
Vietnamese Paragraph:
From "Giải quyết tình trạng trẻ em lao động tại bãi rác Đông Thạnh" - Special English
Thực hiện dự án hợp tác với UNICEF, từ tháng 8/1999, Ủy ban Bảo vệ và Chăm sóc trẻ em thành phố đã tiến hành khảo sát, lập điểm tư vấn, nâng cao kiến thức và truyền thông, mở lớp xóa mù chữ cho 25 em thanh thiếu niên, khám bệnh phát thuốc cho hơn 1.300 trường hợp, hình thành túi sách, túi dụng cụ TDTT lưu động, giới thiệu 15 em học nghề, vận động đưa 77 hộ với 303 nhân khẩu, trong đó có 148 trẻ em trở về quê. Tuy nhiên việc tiếp tục thực hiện các dự án cũng gặp nhiều khó khăn. Sau khi nghe các đại biểu thảo luận, đề xuất ý kiến, Phó Chủ tịch UBNDTP Phạm Phương Thảo đã tán thành giải pháp theo hướng vận động đưa trẻ cùng gia đình trở về địa phương sinh sống; ngăn ngừa, giảm bớt tiến tới chấm dứt tình trạng trẻ em và nhân dân vào bãi rác kiếm sống.
English Version:
"The Settle the Problem of Child Labour at Dong Thanh Dump-Site"
In co-operation with UNICEF since August 1999, the Child Protection and care committee has carried out investigation, at the Dump-site, setting up a consultant site, enhancing the level of education for 25 illiterate young children. Besides, they also carried out medical check up and distributed medicine to more than 1,300 cases, creating mobile library, sports bag, introducing 15 children to vocational centers, encouraging 77 families with 303 people with 148 children to come back to their native towns. However the carrying out of these projects has met a lot of difficulties. After hearing discussions and suggestions raised by the delegates, Mrs. Pham Phuong Thao, Vice chairwoman of the city people's committee, has agreed to the solution of encouraging the families and their children to come back to their native town, preventing, reducing and gradually putting an end to the problem of people and children making their living/working at the Dump-site.
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In my opinion, the preceding paragraph is a good translation. I’m really like the way that the author translates the phrases.
For example, “thực hiện dự án hợp tác với UNICEF” translates as “In co-operation with UNICEF”. Although the author does not translate the verb “thực hiện”, the English version seems to be very good.
“Ủy ban Bảo vệ và Chăm sóc trẻ em thành phố” translates as “the Child Protection and care committee”; “đã tiến hành khảo sát” translates as “has carried out investigation”… Especially, the author use “besides” to divide one sentence into two English sentences, making the meaning of the content more clearly. Also, this way makes the translation easier for reading. For this reason, I think that the translator does a very good job
Considering the last sentence, we should focus on the phrase “After hearing discussions and suggestions raised by the delegates…” The author uses a past participle (raised) to start a past participle phrase (raised by the delegates) with the function as an adjective to modify the noun phrase (discussions and suggestions). This is a good way that we can use in translating complex sentences.
7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com
Comments on paragraph 24 (p.25) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
This is a good translation because it translates extremely closely to the meaning of Vietnamese selection. The paragraph uses simple words and structures and it follows nearly the same structure as the original one.
However, I recognize what appear in Vietnamese text are all translated into English. For example, those word like “voi cac vong dau, trong suot thang 6 Am lich, nhin tu cac nha hang, cho nhung chuyen tau, trong suot cuoc chien tranh cua My, voi kien truc kieu thuoc dia cua Phap, etc” are translated into English without any reduction as “with the preliminary round, during the sixth lunar month, views from many of the restaurants, for ships, during the American war, with its French colonial architecture, etc. This does not mean that we should reduce all of them but such way of translating word by word will make the translation mechanical, dry and not natural. The readers may be confused with lots of Vietnamese proper names and by the way of enumerating information.
Moreover, there is not anything new in the translation. It is sure that the readers understand the translation but they will not find out anything special through the translation about Do son sites.
In my opinion, it is easy for us to translate this paragraph from Vietnamese into English but it is very difficult to find out a good and effective way to translate so as to make the translation smooth, easily understandable and natural.
Therefore, at the level of amateur translators, this translation is acceptable and appreciated.
7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com
Comments on paragraph taken from website
http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/
The Vietnamese original text
Tiến tới SEA Games 24 (12/2007): Thể thao Việt Nam dự tranh 31 môn
Ngày 8/10/2007. Cập nhật lúc 21h 41'
Bộ Văn hóa - Thể thao - Du lịch cho biết: Tại Đại hội thể thao Đông Nam Á (SEA Games 24) tại Thái Lan vào tháng 12/2007, Đoàn Thể thao Việt Nam sẽ có khoảng 600 vận động viên tham gia thi đấu 31 môn. Hiện nay, các đoàn đang tiến hành chốt danh sách khoảng 600 VĐV xuất sắc nhất tham dự 31 môn là: Điền kinh; Golf; Thể dục dụng cụ; Bóng ném; Judo; Karate-do; Rowing; Cầu mây; Bắn súng (bắn đĩa bay); Bóng bàn; Teakwondo; Quần vợt; Cử tạ, Vật; Wushu; Thể hình; Khiêu vũ thể thao; Pencak-Silat; Bi sắt; Đua thuyền truyền thống; Cờ vây (thi đấu biểu diễn); Thể thao duới nước (bơi, nhày cẩu, bóng nước); Bắn cung; Cầu lông; Billard-Snooker, Bowling; Quyền anh; Xe đạp; Canoeing; Đấu kiếm; Bóng đá (gồm cả môn bóng đá trong nhà-Fulsat). Đoàn Thể thao Việt Nam phấn đấu lọt vào Top 3 nước dẫn đầu SEA Games 24 với khoảng 70 HCV ở các bộ môn.
BQT- TTX
The English translation
Vietnam athletes to compete in 31 events at 24th SEA Games
Updated on 10/9/2007 at 21:16
The Vietnamese team comprising of 600 athletes will take part in 31 events at the 24th SEA Games in December in Thailand, according to the Ministry of Culture, Sports and Tourism. Events include track and field, golf, gymnastics, handball, judo, rowing, sepak takraw, shooting, table tennis, taekwondo, tennis, weight lifting, wrestling, wushu, body building, sports dance, pencak silat, pentague, traditional boat racing, go-chess, water sports, archery, badminton, billiards snooker, bowling, boxing, bicycle racing, canoeing, fencing, and football (including indoor football). Vietnam is targeting the top three with a total of around 70 gold medals.
(CPV/VOV)
My comments
This is a well-translated selection because it translates closely to the original text as well as it uses clear structures and effective choice of words.
I was impressed right at the heading sentence of the translation. This is a good and common way to translate the heading sentence from Vietnamese into English language “Vietnam athletes to compete in 31 events at 24th SEA Games”. In this sentence, the author uses a noun phrase instead a clause or sentence but the meaning is the same. I often see this way of translation appearing on the newspaper and on the reviews on TV. In comparison with the Vietnamese heading sentence “Tiến tới SEA Games 24 (12/2007): Thể thao Việt Nam dự tranh 31 môn”, the English sentence not only covers the expected meaning but also appears to be natural and professional, two of those qualities required in writing newspaper or reporting an event.
The second sentence is very long, which enumerates 31 events Vietnamese team will take part in 24th SEA Games. It is quite easy to translate this sentence, however, the problem is how to translate 31 events into English terms. The author has proved to be very efficient in this field. I learnt a lot of new words relating to sport in this sentence. Some of them are very interesting and new to me. For example, track and field (dien kinh), handball(bong nem), sepak takraw(cau may), body building(the hinh),pentague(bi sat), gochess(co vay) and archery(ban cung). Next time, when I write about a sport event, I will be able to use these words.
The last sentence is also translated very closely to the meaning of the original one but it does not follow exactly the Vietnamese structure. Therefore, the sentence is shorter and easier to understand in terms of English structure.
In conclusion, this is a good and effective translation which expresses fully the meaning of the Vietnamese text and meets necessary qualities of a news report.
Dinh Duy Linh, SPAV 01 K30, 7044734
Assignment 1, paragraph 28, page 28
This is a well-translated paragraph, the translator uses correct word and structure of the sentences in a suitable way. I really like it. I have some comments on this paragraph
What I agree:
_ The word "bao boc" is translated as "is bodered" is very suitable because it can reflect the shape of georaphy-something is between 2 things. Some people can translate "bao boc" as "is covered" (not approriate because "cover" means something is inside something else)
_ The translator change "trong rong bien va thu hoach de xuat khau" into "cultivate and harvest seaweed for export". It's an excellent change. If we translate it in the normal way: "cultivate seaweed and harvest for export", it sounds not very professional and smooth.
What I don't agree:
_ "CHien tranh chong My" should not be "American War" because the readers can missunderstand that this is the war in the US, not the war that against the US Army. So, I think we should change it into "War against the US Army".
_ The word "trai dai" should be translated as "stretchs", not "runs".
_ "nhung khach san 5 sao" is not a specific phrase, it does not mention to any specific place. So, we should not use the word "the" (the several five-star hotels). It should be "several five-star hotels".
_ I think that the word "nha nghi" is "rent house", not "housing"-like the translator used.
Assignment2:
Vietnamese text"
Co tro ve ben cha. Khi buoc vao phong, co thay ong nam do, trong that be nho va om yeu. Ong gang guong tro chuyen cung co nhung khong the. Dieu duy nhat ma co co the lam la ngoi ben canh ong, vong tay om lay doi vai bat dong cua cha minh. Tua dau len nguc cha, co suy ngam nhieu dieu. Co nho lai rang minh luon cam thay duoc cha che cho, nang niu tu tam be. Co thay long quang that truoc noi dau sap mat di nguoi cha yeu quy. Khong con nua roi nhung loi yeu thuong vo ve cua cha.
Translation text:
And so she went to the site of the great man. When she walked into the room and saw him, he looked small and not strong at all. He looked at her and tried to speak, but he could not. The little girl did the only thing she could do. She sat next to the great man, and drew her arms around the useless shoulders of her father. Her head on his chest, she thought of many things. She remembered she had always felt protected and cherished by the great man. She felt grief for the loss she was to endure, the words of love that had comforted her.
I like this translation text very much because the translator is very professional, he/she use the words that relevant for this context (a text illustrating the love of the daughter for her dying father) such as "great man" (cha), "not strong enough" (om yeu). Especially the phrase "felt grief of loss", it helps the readers feel her hurt of losing father. And there's just one word that I think the translator should change, that is "useless" (bat dong) because I think "useless" has very negative meaning-something has no use. Therefore, I will use the word "unmovable" instead.
duylinhctu@yahoo.com
Phan Việt Thắng Email: phanvietthangctu@gmail.com
7044739
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty.
Paragraph 29 (Đại Lãnh Beach…) / p.29
Comments
The paragraph just includes two sentences in both the Vietnamese version and the English version, but it has many noticeable to talk about. Firstly, the sentence, “Bãi biển Đại Lãnh, cách Nha Trang 8 km về phía bắc và gần Quốc lộ 1, rất nổi tiếng trong suốt lịch sử với cát trắng và thông biển” is structured with a subordinate clause, surrounded by 2 commas, “cách Nha Trang 8 km về phía bắc và gần Quốc lộ 1” that helps the translator easily recognize the necessity of using a relative clause to form the same sentence:
“Đại Lãnh Beach, which is eighty kilometers north of Nha Trang and close to Highway 1, has been famous throughout history for its white sands and sea-pine trees.”
The idea that “ Đại Lãnh Beach has been famous throughout history with its white sands and sea-pine trees” is more important than that “it is eighty kilometers north of Nha Trang and close to Highway 1”. So, recognizing the structure of the Vietnamese version well can help translators to create appropriate English translation version.
Secondly, in term of word choice, the translator did well with “close”, “has been” and “famous for”. In fact, translators could use “near” or “next to” instead of “close”. However, these words strongly emphasize the location of the beach rather than the aim represented in the Vietnamese version. That is, then, “close” is used to make clear that the writer is mentioning about the advantage of Đại Lãnh beach, “close to Highway 1” rather than its location. Next, the translator used the phrase “has been” that interested me a lot. “ Has been” here means that Đại Lãnh beach was famous in the past and now it is still famous. That’s much better than using “ is” or “ was” instead. Continuously, in the Vietnamese text, we have “rất nổi tiếng …với”, but when it’s translated into English, it must be “famous for”, not “famous with”. From this, we see the importance of mastering adjective phrase in English translation.
The second sentence, also the last sentence, contains a problem. The translator wrote, “which King Minh Mệnh built in Hue”. This information was not mentioned in the Vietnamese text even though it may be true. Instead of that, it was just said that, “Dai Lanh was carved by King Minh Mệnh on one of the Nine Urns placed in the Miếu Courtyard in Hue. The Vietnamese version and the English translation are not equivalent. The experience we get from this problem is that we must understand clearly what the source text state before translating.
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• Vietnamese text
Có hai loại nhiệt kế căn bản – nhiệt kế đặt ở miệng và nhiệt kế đặt ở hậu môn. Sự khác nhau giữa chúng là bầu chứa thủy ngân. Tuy nhiên, cả hai nhiệt kế này hoạt động theo nguyên lí như nhau, đó là thủy ngân có thể giãn nở dài ra theo thang ở một số nhiệt độ, và các điểm này được ghi trên nhiệt kế. Có hai loại thang nhiệt – thang Farhenheit với nhiệt độ bình thường trong vùng của 98,6 độ F, và thang mét với nhiệt độ bình thường trong vùng của 37 độ C.
(Source: SELECTIONS OF VIETNAMESE – ENGLISH
TRANSLATIONS IN FOCUS
Caring for children’s health, by Nguyen Thanh Tam)
• English text
There are two basic types of thermometer – the oral thermometer and the rectal thermometer. The difference between them is the shape of the bulb containing the mercury. Both, however, work on the same principle, namely, that mercury will expand along a scale at certain temperatures and these points are marked on the thermometer. There are also two scales in use- the old Fahrenheit scale with the normal temperature in the region of 98,6 0 F and the metric scale with the normal temperature averaging at 370 Centigrade.
• Comments:
The translation is on the whole very smooth and easy to understand. There are not many faults found while there are some good points to notice.
Firstly, the Vietnamese phrase “ bầu chứa thủy ngân” is translated into English like, “ the shape of the bulb containing the mercury”, and it is an interesting creation. We can simply translate “ the bulb containing the mercury”, so why we need the word “shape”, then “the shape of”. It helps to modify the idea that the difference between the oral thermometer and the rectal thermometer is exactly “the shape, not something else, of the bulb that contains the mercury.
Secondly, do we need to add “ namely” in the second sentence (bold)? That is considered to be necessary in the process of translation. That is, we do not need to follow word-by-word translation. Sometimes, we need to add something that is acceptable to make the translation piece more smooth and easier to understand. The phrase “in use” in the last sentence is another example. Actually, we can write, “ there are two scales” only, and do not need to add “in use”. However, when “in use” is added, it makes the idea of the text clearer.
NGUYEN THI BINH
7044727
binh.7044727@student.ctu.edu.vn
PARA 131
HUONG PAGODA (PERFUME PAGODA)
In my opinion, the piece of translation is rather successful in word choices and appropriate structures. For example, there are 2 verbs in a sentence, “nhung khi ngoi tren thuyen va ngam canh chung quanh thi du khach se co cam giac dong suoi nay dai vo tan.” The translator found the problem. He used a reduced clause, “visitors enjoying a boat ride through the surrounding landscape may feel that this stream is endless.” Here the author used gerund for the verb “enjoying” not for “feel” because feel is the main verb. It carries the main idea of the sentence. One more thing I like in this paragraph is the use of “Yen stream”. In fact, we shouldn’t translate the word “Yen” to keep its original meaning. However, I think we must capitalize the word “Stream” in “Yen Stream” because “Yen Stream” is a name of a place.
Additionally, I suppose that we should translate the first sentence, “Chua Huong thuoc xa Huong Son, huyen My Duc, tinh Ha Tay” as “Huong Pagoda (Perfume Pagoda) is located in Huong Son Commune, My Duc District, Ha Tay Province” not as in, “Huong Pagoda (Perfume Pagoda) is located in Huong Son Commune in Ha Tay Province’s My Duc District,…”
Moreover, I think that most readers won’t understand quite well one point in the translated sentence: “This complex of pagoda is set amidst mountains, forests, lakes, and caves surrounded by vast green plains of rice.” That point is the verb “surrounded”. I wonder which one it modifies for, caves or the mountains, forests, and caves. When I read the origin paper, I can recognize that the mountains, forests, and caves are surrounded by vast green plains of rice. Therefore, I SUGGEST that we should translate the sentence as in “surrounded by vast green plains of rice, this complex of pagoda is set amidst mountains, forests, and caves.”
Besides, I also prefer to use the words “vast green rice paddies”. However, I know that the translator wants to emphasize the feature “dong bang” in “plains”. “Plains” may symbolize the prosperity of people here.
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Source: TRAVELLIVE
NHO CAN THO
Da lau khong ve Can Tho, bong dung long thay nho vo cung…nho ben Ninh Kieu, nho vung dat “gao trang nuoc trong”, nho xu so dong bang chau tho, mot noi ma khach Phuong xa mo duoc den tham du chi mot lan trong doi…
Can Tho gao trang nuoc trong
Ai di den do long khong muon ve
Ben con song Hau hien hoa, tho mong, ben Ninh Kieu ngay dem tap nap ghe xuong cho day ap nhung san vat dia phuong vung chau tho Cuu Long dang hien cho nguoi dong bang. Mua nao thuc ay, thien nhien ban tang cho nguoi Can Tho vo so hoa trai. Man Hong Dao dac ruot My Tho, xoai Cai Be thom ngat, sau rieng Cai Mon com day cui, vang lim. Nhan tieu Vinh Long ngon den noi an hoai khong ngan, oi xa li Cao Lanh vua to vua gion, lai it hat nhat la buoi Nam Roi chua an chua biet no ngon den the nao, nhung da an roi thi cu muon mua that nhieu ve lam qua tang nguoi than. Lieu co phai cai vi vua ngot, vua thanh cua trai cay dong bang Cuu Long la tu phu sa “song Me” ngay dem miet mai chuyen cho, boi dap cho dong bang, tu suc lao dong miet mai cua nguoi nong dan chat phac voi nhung giot mo hoi man chat hay tu nhung guong mat sam den vi nang va ban tay chai san vi cuoc xeng.
Nhung dem he day gio va bau troi day sao, dao bo tren ben Ninh Kieu chot thay con song Hau gan gui la. Duoi long song nhung chiec du thuyen cho day loi ca co ngot ngao cung tieng dan kim dao ban Nam Ai nghe sao buon man mac. Duong Hai Ba Trung van chay doc bo song nhung bay gio da moc len nhieu quan ca phe, sinh to, nhieu nha hang voi nhung mon an dam chat Nam Bo luon tap nap khach Tay, khach ta.
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CAN THO UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCES
It is a long time since I last visited Can Tho. Suddenly, I miss that region so much, miss Can Tho’s harbour, miss the land of white rice and pure water, miss the Delta land which everyone hopes to visit once in their lifetime.
“Can Tho, the land of white rice and pure water
All who come there, never want to leave.”
Standing on the gentle and romantic Hau river, Ninh Kieu harbor is crowded with boats full of specialities of the Mekong Delta. They provide for the needs of people everywhere. Each season has its own fruit. Can Tho is endowed with many fresh fruits such as My Tho plum, Cai Be mango, Cai Mon durian, Vinh Long longan, Cao Lanh guava and especially the Nam Roi pomelo which is a wonderful gift for friends and relatives.
The sweet flavor of fruits comes from alluvium of the Mekong river, which day and night feeds the delta. It also comes from the hard work of simple hearted peasants from their salty sweat and from sunburnt faces and hands hardened by wrestling with farming tools.
On windy and starry summer nights, walking around Ninh Kieu’s harbor, I felt that the Hau river was so deeply familiar. On the river, the boats carry with them sweet ancient melodies and sad Nam Ai tunes. Hai Ba Trung street still runs along both banks of the river. Many cafes and restaurants have emerged offering specialities of the Southern region to local and foreign visitors.
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The translator cut some part of the origin writing to make the translated paper sound smooth. There are 2 reasons for the translator to cut while translating. The first reason belongs to vocabulary. It is difficult to translate complex words such as “oi khong hat, dac ruot, com day cui, vang lim.” The second one is that the Vietnamese paper has some problems in meaning.
The author used simple past tense when he told us his unforgettable experiences in Can Tho. The other tense is simple present used in almost every sentence.
There is no identity in using Ninh Kieu’s harbor and Ninh Kieu harbor. I am confused that Ninh Kieu’s harbor would sound strange.
MAI THI THU HONG_7044733
PARAGRAPH 50
This paragraph is about the animals in Phan Xi Pang. The first sentence, “Tại độ cao cao nhất Việt Nam này cóthể nhìn thấy một quần thể động thực vật độc đáo” is” a unique assemblage of plants and animals lives here at Vietnam’s highest altitude”. He used “assemblage” for “ quần thể”, I think “community is better because “assemblage” means a group, it’s smaller than “community”, but here it concludes “animals and plants”, so “community” is better.
The next one,” dãy Hiamlaya thu nhỏ lại ở cuối cùng cực đông” is “Himalayas taper to the eastern_most terminus”, the words “taper” and “terminus” are used reasonable which help the reader can image the shape of Himalaya. The next one, “ những ngọn níu cao ngất này là nơi sinh sống của các loài động thực vật quí hiếm”, but in English version doesn’t have any word which means “động thực vật quí hiếm”. there is only “ these high peaks support life forms “. The last one is good, the writer reduced the relative pronoun here, the sentence still coherent. In general, these version have close meaning and English text is not translated word by word in comparative with Vietnamese one.
From “ 104 BAI LUYEN DICH VIET_ANH”
Ông Đào Duy Từ(ĐDT) thuở còn đi học, gặp ông thầy tính nghiêm khắc hay quở phạt, học trò ai cũng sợ hãi lắm. ông ĐDT chăm chỉ học hành, hết long giữ lễ phép. Một hôm ông bị quở trách dữ dội mà nét nặt không hờn giận. Đến khi ta buổi học, có người an hem bạn hỏi anh rằng “ hôm nau anh fải fạt mà anh không buồn giận là tại làm sao”” Ông nói “phận sự chúng ta đi học là phải chă chỉ để thầy được vui lòng mà ta đã làm thầy phải tức giận là lỗi của ta. Thầy mắng phạt ta là muốn cho ta hay, vậy lẽ nào ta lại oán giận thầy.”
DDT, in his childhood, went to a school where he had a very severe teacher who often reprimanded and punished his pupils, every one of them was afraid of teacher. DDT was always studying hard and polite. One day, he was severely scolded by the teacher, yet he didn’t show any sign of sulkiness. After class, a friend of his asked him: “today, you have been punished and why don’t you feel sad/ angry?” He answered:” when going to school, our duty is to be hard working in order to please our teacher, but I have made him angry, so it is my fault. If our teacher reprimands and punishes us just because he wants us to be good, why should I be angry with him?”
COMMENT
This paragraph talked about Dao Duy Tu, a good and talented person. This paragraph use very simple word and structure so it’s very easy to understand. The first sentence, “ Dao Duy Tu, in his childhood, went to a school where he had a very severe teacher”, this clause is rather redundant. “who often reprimanded and punished his pupils, everyone of them was afraid of teacher”. This sentence is not good because of some reason. Firstly, “had” is not really right, we can use “ study”. Secondly, “teacher” can be replace by him , the teacher, that teacher because that teacher is mentioned already.
I translate this sentence like this “ Dao Duy Tu , when he was young, in his school time, he studied with a very severe teacher who often reprimanded and punished his pupils, everyone of them was afraid of him”. The next one is good. We move to the third one, “one day, he was severely scolded by the teacher , yet he didn’t show any sign of skifulness.”, the word choice here is very good such as “scolded” and “sulkiness”. The last one, “a friend of his” is very complicated, I use “ one of his friends”. The rest of this sentence is good. In conclusion, this paragraph is very easy to understand.
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