Sunday, September 30, 2007

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27 comments:

hac............ said...

HUYNH TO NUONG
Class1.
Please send me your feedback to jennyhuynha16@yahoo.com

Paragraph 102 on page 83:

There is an interesting point that makes the translated or the English text much better.
The translator used personification to make “the trees” and “the lake” become human.
The verbs “whisper, witness, retain” refer to human beings’ actions so when being used, they made the English text more lively and more interesting.


Gioi tre Viet Nam hien nay dang rat tich cuc chuan bi hanh trang de hoi nhap trao luu phat trien chung cua ca the gioi : hang chuc ngan thanh nien dang du hoc o nhung quoc gia phat trien, hang tram ngan thanh nien dang ngay dem hoc tap trong cac truong dai hoc. Cac lop hoc ngoai ngu ban dem luc nao cung dong chat nguoi. Hang ngan cac doanh nghiep tre dang tung ngay tung gio tich luy kinh nghiem san xuat kinh doanh nham muc tieu hieu qua va uy tin.

For the time being, Vietnamese young generation is positive to prepare for integration into the movement of global common developments. Tens of thousands of youngsters are studying in developed countries, and hundreds of thousands of young people are day and night studying at universities. Foreign classes in the evening are always crowded. Thousands of young enterpreneurs are accumulating experience of bussiness with a view to achieving effectiveness and prestige in theirs tasks.

It seems that the translator translated words by words. Therefore, it is not good. Some sentences as well as phrases should be written because they may make the readers confused.
“for the time being” should be “nowadays” or “today”
It’s better to say “The Vietnamese youth” instead of “Vietnamese young generation” because it sounds Vietnamese.
The words “global” and “the movement” are not suitable in this context. This phrase should be “the world’s common development trend” which is easier to understand.

DAVID HO said...

Paragraph 16, page 21
When reading the Vietnamese version “Bai chay”, I realize it’s very difficult to translate into English because of complicated sentences .However, the translator is good at transforming ambiguous sentence into English understandably. The first, he successfully used “associated with” means “gan lien voi” to provide a good sentence “cai ten Bai Chay gan lien voi nhieu truyen thuyet”. But, the second sentence I think it will be better when translated “according to former people that a fleed led by Truong Van Ho with food for the Yuan-Mongolian invaders. Because “one describes” is not good to mean “tuong truyen rang” and I don’t know translator’s opinion when he separated one sentence in Vietnamese version into 2 sentences in English version .This makes readers ambiguous to understand the whole meaning like Vietnamese version. Finally, the last sentence is not good when the translator didn’t provide words with the whole meaning of the sentence. I think “hence, Bai chay was named” is better .
In general, the English version is quite good although some words and sentences haven’t exactly been translated. I like the way translator used to translate by good noun-phares.

The book “HUONG DAN LUYEN DICH VIET ANH”
Vietnamese version
Dac trung cua cho phien la su hoa huyen boi mau sac , tinh nguoi va su hoang da. Giua nui rung ngut ngan, noi hop cho la nhung gian hang lop tranh khiem ton, cac co gai voi trang phuc dep nhat cua minh mang mau sac sac so lam tang them ve dap cua phien cho. Thich mat nhung la doan ngua tai tren lung day ap hang hoa dnag tien dan vao cong cho. Co gai H’mong xinh dep, ngoi chem. Che tren lung ngua, len loi tung buoc de mo duong di qua dam dong.
English version:
The characteristic of the fair is the mixture of the colors, human sentiment and wilderness. Amid immense forests stand humble thatch-roofed stalls with girls in their best clothes, enhancing the beauty of the fair. The most interesting sight is the heavily-loaded horse making their way to the fair gate. A beautiful H’mong girl on horseback in inching her way through the crowd.

This is a good translated version which I read in the book “HUONG DAN LUYEN DICH VIET ANH” “Dac trung cua cho phien la su hoa huyen boi mau sac , tinh nguoi va su hoang da”was translated wery well with understandably grammar structure and words written literally. It is very good when he used “enhancing” instead of “increase” to describe the beauty of tha fair. But, It eill be better when I translate “cac co gai trong trang phuc trang phuc dep nhat cua minh mang mau sac sac so lam tang them ve dap cua phien cho” by “girls in the most ang the best clothes I think this will express the beauty of the girl in their best clothes to attend the fair in the highlands. The translator is very good at transforming “chem. Che” tren lung ngua , len loi tung buoc de mo duong di qua dam dong”. I think the translator is very good when translating the Vietnamese version written figuratively into English version which still kept the same meaning.
HO DINH QUOC
7044738
GROUP 1
EMAIL:DINHQUOC1985@GMAIL.COM

Hang said...

Doan Thi Thuy Hang
MSSV: 7044731
SPAV 01-K30

Vietnamese text:
“Sáng 27/9, Bộ trưởng Hồ Nghĩa Dũng đã dành cho báo giới cuộc phỏng vấn, ngay tại hiện trường thảm họa sập cầu Cần Thơ. VietNamNet lược đăng lại cuộc phỏng vấn này:
- Có phải công trình này (cầu Cần Thơ) được nhà thầu chính chia nhỏ ra và bán cho các nhà thầu phụ không, thưa Bộ trưởng?
Theo nguyên tắc, nhà thầu chính có quyền chọn nhà thầu phụ!”

English version:

“Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about the bridge collapse case with the press at the site of incident. VietNamNet extracts this interview.

Reporter: main contractor split the Can Tho bridge project into small parts to re-sell to sub-contractors?

Mr. Dung: in principle, the main contractor can choose sub-contractors.”

Source: VietNamNet.com.vn


I have some comments in the first section of the article:

In the first sentence: “Sáng 27/09, Bộ trưởng bộ giao thông vận tải Hồ Nghĩa Dũng đã dành cho báo giới cuộc phỏng vấn, ngay tại hiện trường thảm họa sập cầu Cần Thơ, VietNamNet lược đăng lại cuộc phõng vấn này” – “Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about the bridge collapse case with the press at the site of incident. VietNamNet extracts this interview.” We know that in English adverbs of time usually go in front or end position but in this sentence the phrase “sáng 27/09” – “this morning” goes in the mid position. Generally, such a usage is often seen in press rather than normal writing. Thus, we can translate “this morning Minister of Transport spoke about…” or “Minister of Transport spoke about…this morning” or “Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about…” When I read English version, I am usually mindful of noun phrase translation. It is true that translating requires us to reconstruct the structure of the source language. Keeping the meaning, we can change the surface to fit the target language. The basic English sentence pattern is formed by noun phrase. Among noun phrases, we often see the positive’s or of + noun with very little difference in meaning. So, the phrase “Bộ trưởng giao thông vận tải” is translated into “Minister of Transport”. This is totally exact. Also, this sentence has another noun phrase “the site of incident” – “hiện trường thảm họa”. In this case, we can use another ways to translate the phrase “hiện trường thảm họa” - “the incident’s site” but I think we should use the structure like the translator used in the article because we are more likely to use “of + noun” form to something that is not living. Another thing, the adverb of place “at the site of incident” goes in the end position instead of in the same position in the Vietnamese sentence. It is reasonable because in English people usually put them in the end position. Also, in the phrase “the bridge collapse case” has a combination between 3 nouns “bridge + collapse + case” to make a noun phrase. This will make the sentence diminish complicated and wordy structure. Another, the translator did not translate the word “thảm họa”, on the contrary, he used the word “case”. Suppose that if we translated “thảm họa sập cầu” – “the bridge collapse disaster/catastrophe”, I think that it can be accepted. The next sentence “Có phải công trình này được nhà thầu chính chia nhỏ ra và bán cho các nhà thầu phụ không?” – “Has the main contractor split the Can Tho Bridge project into small parts to re-sell to sub-constractors.” In the Vietnamese text, the sentence is passive form but in English version it is active form. The choice between active and passive form allows us to present the same information in two different orders. In this case, two sentences have the same meaning. Hence, I do not talk much about them, I just focus much on the verb “split” – “chia”. In Vietnamese, we often say that “chia cái gì ra nhiều phần”, in English we have the same expression “split something into smaller parts. In English, verb goes with different preposition makes different meanings. The combination is numerous. In some case, two languages have the same structures but they are in generally quite different each other. So, translating “verb + preposition” is as important as translating noun phrases.



Page: 34
Paragraph 38th
Việt Nam’s natural beauty

After reading the paragraph, I have three main comments:
Sở du lịch tỉnh Bà Rịa –Vũng Tàu” – “Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Province’s Tourist Service” Firstly, the distribution of the constituents in the Vietnamese noun phrases are absolutely different form English noun phrases. In the other case, people also translate “Ủy ban nhân dân thành phố Cần Thơ” into “Cần Thơ City people’s Committee”. However, we can translate this phrase by using “of form”: “the service of tourist of Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Province. The meaning is equivalent but the structure is rather complicated. So, I think Bà Rịa-Vũng Tàu Provice’s Tourist Service” is the best way.

Secondly, “phát triển nhiều hơn nữa các loại hình giải trí và tham quan, tạo thêm nhiều lựa chọn để làm hài lòng du khách đến thăm vùng đất này.” – “develop yet more entertainment and sight-seeing choices to make a trip to the region even more satisfying.” Here, we can see some words in Vietnamese text are skipped such as “loại hình”, “du khách”. In my opinion, we can translate this sentence in another way: “develop more entertainment and sight-seeing forms to bring satisfying choices to tourists who take a trip to the region”.

Thirdly, “Tuy nhiên, các dịch vụ hiện tại cũng đã đủ để đảm bảo cho du khách có thể thư giản, vui chơi và thưởng thức môi trường thiên nhiên.” – “Nevertheless, current services are sufficient to ensure that visitors can relax, enjoy themselves, and appreciate the natural environment”. In English version, translators used “that - clause”. I think that using this structure is a good choice because when the situation described in the “that – clause” is a permanent situation, or still exists or is relevant at the time we like to use “that – clause”. Another good choice word is “appreciate”, we can use “enjoy” or “appreciate”, however, “appreciate” is better because it can avoid repeating the word “enjoy” many times.


Full article about "Can Tho bridge collapse case"



Sáng 27/9, Bộ trưởng Hồ Nghĩa Dũng đã dành cho báo giới cuộc phỏng vấn chung, ngay tại hiện trường thảm họa sập cầu Cần Thơ, khiến hàng chục người chết. VietNamNet lược đăng lại cuộc phỏng vấn này:
- Có phải công trình này (cầu Cần Thơ) được nhà thầu chính chia nhỏ ra và bán cho các nhà thầu phụ không, thưa Bộ trưởng?
Theo nguyên tắc, nhà thầu chính có quyền chọn nhà thầu phụ!
- Có phải do việc cho phép nhà thầu chia nhỏ gói thầu, bán lại cho các nhà thầu phụ và gói thầu tiếp tục được bán cho các nhà thầu khác theo kiểu B, B’, B’’... kéo theo chất lượng công trình giảm dần?
Việc này phải để lực lượng kiểm tra, điều tra làm rõ việc bán gói thầu theo kiểu B’, B’’ như thế nào. Hiện tại, tôi nắm thông tin, nhà thầu chính có hợp đồng với hai nhà thầu phụ là Công ty Vĩnh Thịnh và Công ty Thăng Long A.
- Được biết, nhà thầu chính đã thuê lại nhà thầu phụ là VSL, sau đó VSL đã thuê lại nhiều đơn vị khác của Việt Nam, trong đó có 2 công ty Vĩnh Thịnh và Thăng Long?
VSL có thể hợp đồng với một số công ty để cung cấp lao động, tôi nắm được như vậy. Vấn đề này, tôi sẽ báo bên công an xem xét cho kỹ.
- Vào thời điểm xảy ra sự cố, khu vực này không có thiên tai, tai nạn lại xảy ra trên vùng đất rất an toàn, Bộ trưởng nghĩ như thế nào?
Theo dõi các công trình, tôi nhận thấy, công trình này tổ chức quy củ, có tính chuyên nghiệp, vì nhà thầu chính là công ty rất nổi tiếng về xây dựng cầu đường của Nhật Bản, kể cả tư vấn thiết kế, tư vấn giám sát.
Trong quá trình theo dõi, họ rất đảm bảo về tiến độ và các quy trình đề ra rất nghiêm ngặt, cho nên, bản thân tôi cũng có sự yên tâm nhất định. Sự cố này là một bất ngờ không lường được.
- Sau vụ tai nạn này, liệu các phần còn lại của cầu Cần Thơ có an toàn nữa không, với vẫn cách thi công thế này?
Cơ quan giám định sẽ kiểm tra lại toàn diện!
- Thưa Bộ trưởng, vì sao đến giờ vẫn chưa biết có bao nhiêu người đang lao độg trong công trình khi tai nạn xảy ra?
Đó là vấn đề cần làm việc lại với nhà thầu phụ!
- Theo Bộ trưởng, vụ tai nạn có làm chậm tiến độ thi công công trình?
Việc này thì tôi chưa thể nói được.
- Bộ trưởng đánh giá như thế nào về tiến độ thực hiện công trình của nhà thầu trong thời gian qua?
Có chậm hơn một tí thôi.
- Có sức ép nào để công trình phải hoàn thành sớm không?
Không có sức ép nào buộc phải hoàn thành sớm. Chỉ có yêu cầu hoàn thành đúng tiến độ và kế hoạch.
- Xảy ra sự cố này, trách nhiệm của Bộ GTVT như thế nào, thưa Bộ trưởng?
Có lẽ cần phải có thời gian để nhìn lại rất nhiều. Tất nhiên về mặt quản lý nhà nước, phải có trách nhiệm. Còn trách nhiệm đến đâu, như thế nào thì cần phải mổ xẻ sau!
- Sau khi xảy ra sự cố, tại sao các nhà thầu phụ vẫn chưa đưa ra danh sách người lao động tại công trình?
Danh sách thì họ đưa ra hết, nhưng trong danh sách, kiểm tra lại số liệu thì còn có sự khác nhau. Chúng tôi đang tiếp tục điều tra.
- Theo đánh giá của nhà thầu Nhật, nguyên nhân của vụ sập cầu do bị lún giàn giáo, dẫn đến sự cố?
Mấy hôm vừa rồi mưa khá nhiều, và vị trí cầu nằm trên nền đất yếu, nên có thể nguyên nhân từ sự cố lún giàn giáo, kéo theo sự dịch chuyển đà giáo, làm sập. Nhưng đó vẫn chưa chính xác.
- Nhưng trước đây đã có báo cáo về nguyên nhân của vụ sập cầu...
Tôi chưa có báo cáo đó.
- Nếu có thông tin như vậy, khi tiến hành thi công công trình này, kể cả trụ phụ cũng phải xác định độ cứng của nền đất?
Theo báo cáo, trụ phụ đã chịu thử tải theo đúng quy trình. Theo báo cáo!
Phan Công (ghi)

Transport Minister can’t talk about responsibility for bridge collapse

Minister of Transport Ho Nghia Dung this morning spoke about the bridge collapse case with the press at the site of incident. VietNamNet extracts this interview.

Has the main contractor split the Can Tho bridge project into small parts to re-sell to sub-contractors?

In principle, the main contractor can choose sub-contractors.

Is it true that the tender has been split into small parts to re-sell to sub-contractors and parts are continued to be split further to sell again and again and this makes construction quality poor?

This must be inspected carefully. According to the information I know at present, the main contractor has two sub-contractors, Vinh Thinh and Thang Long A companies.

The main contractor hires VSL as the sub-contractor, which then hires other companies of Vietnam, including Vinh Thinh and Thang Long?

As far as what I know, VSL can cooperate with other firms to provide workers. I will ask the police to investigate this carefully.

At the time the incident occurred, there was no natural calamity in this area. What do you think about this?

I observe that this project is being implemented professionally because the main contractor is a famous road and bridge builder of Japan, even in design, consulting and supervision.

According to our supervision, they always ensure the construction pace and rules so I felt assured about the project. This incident is unpredictable.

After this accident, are the remaining parts of Can Tho bridge safe, if the current method of construction continues to be used?

Experts will inspect completely.

Why do we still not know exactly how many workers were working when the accident happened?

That issue must be discussed with the sub-contractors again.

Will the accident slow the construction pace of this project?

I can’t talk about it now.

What do you think about the construction pace recently?

It has been a little bit slow.

Is there any pressure on the contractor that forces them to quickly complete the project?

No. The contractors are only required to complete the project at the set pace.

What is the responsibility of the Transport Ministry in this case?

We need more time to review the case. In terms of state management, certainly the ministry must take responsibility for it but what the responsibility is we need to analyse further.

After the incident happened, why didn’t sub-contractors have the lists of workers at the construction site?

They have submitted the lists but the data is different. We are inspecting it.

According to the Japanese contractor, the reason for the accident is the sinking of the scaffold?

There was rain in recent days and the bridge position is on a weak foundation so the reason might be the sinking of the scaffolding but that reason has not been defined accurately yet.

But the report on the reason of the accident was sent before?

I don’t have that report yet.

If there is that information, when this work is built, even the ground hardness of the sub-pillar must be defined?

According to report, a test on the sub-pillar was conducted.

Noted by Phan Cong

tien said...

Book: VietNam’s natural beauty
Vietnamese text:
Chuøa Linh Khaùnh coøn ñöôïc goïi laø chuøa Traø Coå Hoaëc chuøa Nam Tho , ñöôïc xaây döïng vaøo naêm 1775 döôùi trieàu vua Leâ Hieån Toâng ( 1740 – 1786 ) ñeå thôø baø chuùa Lieãu Haïnh . Khuoân vieân chuøa roäng 5.000 m trong moät khung caûnh yeân aû beân döôùi nhöõng haøng caây coå thu , coù 63 töôïng goàm töôïng Phaät Toå , Quan AÂm Thò Kính vaø phaät Di Laëc . Chuøa coøn coù caùc chuoâng ñoàng ñöôïc ñuùc vaøo naêm 1843
English Text:
The Linh Khánh Pagoda , also known as the Traø Coå or Nam Tho Pagoda , was erected in 1775 during the reign of King Leâ Hieån Toâng ( reign : 1740 – 1786 ) to worship Goddess Lieãu Haïnh . This site of 5,000 square metres in a peaceful setting beneath ancient trees has sixty three statues that include Buddha, Quan AÂm Thò Kính ( the Goddess of Mercy ) and Di Laëc ( Mitreya Buddha ) as well as bronze bells , which were added in 1843
Comments:
In general, there is equivalence in meaning between two texts. In addition, the English translation presents standard and correct grammar structures which play an important role to produce a good smooth target language. However, the English translation also shows some weak points which need to be improved. Firstly, it should be “Leâ Hieån Toâng Dynasty “than “the reign of King Leâ Hieån Toâng “If so, the author translates word by word from the source language. Secondly, in case of “Baø chuùa Lieãu Haïnh,” should it be translated into “Goddess Lieãu Haïnh “or “Lieãu Haïnh Goddess” . By the way, my knowledge will support the phrase “Lieãu Haïnh Goddess “like previous phrase “Linh Khaùnh pagoda” of the text .Next , I suppose that “nhöõng haøng caây coå thu” should have English translation like “row of secular tress” because “ancient tress” does not express the exact meaning of Vietnamese phrase . Finally, let’s write “cast statue” instead of using the verb “add” . So, that’s all for my comments. And let me suggest a translation:
“The Linh Khanh Pagoda, also known as the Traø Coå or the Nam Tho Pagoda , was erected in 1775 during the Leâ Hieån Toâng Dynasty ( 1740-1786 ) to worship Lieãu Haïnh Goddess . This site of 5,000 square metres in a quite and peaceful setting beneath the rows of secular trees has sixty three statues that include Baddha , Quan AÂm Thò Kính ( the Goddess of Mercy ) and Di Laëc ( Mitreya Buddha ) as well as bronze bells , which were cast in 1843.

Book:120 bài luyện dịch việt-anh

Vietnamese text:
Người ta cần vận động

Ngô Phố hỏi ông Hoa Đà cách giữ gìn sức khỏe, Hoa Đà trả lời: “Người ta phải làm lụng vận động thì ăn uống mới dễ tiêu hóa, huyết mạch mới dễ lưu thông và bệnh tật không sinh ra được . Cái chìa khoá mà không gỉ là vì dùng đến luôn, nước giữa dòng mà không thối là vì chuyển động luôn . Người ta cũng vậy, có vận động thì mới khỏe mạnh. ”
Ngô Phố theo lời dạy ấy. Quả nhiên, mỗi ngày một khỏe ra, và sống được ngoài chín mươi tuổi

English text:
We need to be active

Ngo Pho asked Hoa Đa how to keep good health, Hoa Da answered: “We must work and exercise so that our food and drink may easily be digested, our blood may circulate freely and diseases may not be produced. The key is not rusty, because it is often used, the water in the middle of the river is not fetid because it is always moving. We (Man) are the same, if we want to be healthy, we must do exercise
Ngo Pho follows that advice. Truly, he became healthier and healthier and lived over 90 years.

Comments:
When I look though the English text, all the main ideas are very clear to understand or I can say if I did an English – Vietnamese translation, I would have the same Vietnamese text. Moreover, although the English text is not perfect, it does not violate the mistakes of spelling as well as grammar structures. However, I have few different ideas on the translation. Firstly, I wonder that whether “vận động” in the title is different from “vận động “in the text or not. Obviously, the author decides two ways of translating the word “vận động” And my question is “why does not the translator show “we need to exercise” instead of “we need to be active” .I myself suppose that “active” contains general meaning. We can be active in playing sports, in socials activities, in helping people etc. Also, “active” may be one characteristics of a person. On the other hand, “exercise” also shows the similar meaning but in specific field of medicine. Thus, in comparison with “active”, the word “exercise” holds a stronger position in this context. In addition, there is a contradiction in using words “often” and “always” because they are translated from one word “luôn” .Therefore, I support to use “always” for both in this situation. Besides, I cannot agree the phrase “food and drink” as well as “the water in the middle of the river” because of theirs unnature. To avoid translating word by word, I approve to cross out “drink” and “in the middle of” so that the translation looks more natural. Next, the word “truly” should be changed into “obviously”. Finally, if I were a translator, I would say:

We need to exercise
“ Ngo Pho asked Hoa Da how to keep good health , Hoa Da answered: “ We must work and exercise so that our food may easily be digested , our blood may circulate freely and our body will be prevented from the diseases ( or diseases may not be produced ). The key is not rusty because it is always used.The water in the river is not fetid because it is always moving. We (man) are the same, if we want to be healthy, we must do exercise.
Ngo Pho follows that advice. Obviously, he became healthier and healthier and lived over 90 years.”

Tien 7044742

Tien8721@yahoo.com

honghieuspa1 said...

Hong hieu
Email: honghieumay@gmail.com
Reading the paragraph 11 page 17, I have some interesting thing to comment:
Ha long bay
First sentence, we can see seen from above that mean, something is seen from above. The writer use passive voice to emphasize that Ha long bay is seen from above, it is very beautiful. The writer describe the beauty of Ha long bay like a light blue handkerchief. Es pecially, this hankerchief is dooted with emerals. We can see that the writer use “resembles” instead of the word like. I think the sentence would be better if he used the word like because resemble mean same structure and same appearance; however, Ha long bay can not have the same structure with a handkerchief.
In second sentence, if the writer use Ha long bay has a size of 1,553 square km to show it’s area, the sentence would not have good meaning like Ha long bay covers 1,553 square km. That well use makes reader feel the size of Ha long bay.
Third sentence, in Vietnamese and English version are both good and equivalent.
Fourth sentence. In English version, writer use “resembles”. The use of this word in this sentence is better than it’s use in first sentence. Because the appearnace of the Trong Mai and Rua islands is same to the appearance of cock and hen or Turle; besides, he use word looks like to show the appeance of one island with an old Monk that become its name. Dinh Huong( incense Urn), we can see that the writer describe this island shape like an incese burner on the sea, and in Vietnamese version he use the altar is the sea, but in English version he use the altar of the sea. That make reader wonder that whether there is an alter for nature to put this altar.

Additional text:
Unit 6. Save the forest. English for today. Volume 7. July 2005. Ho chi Minh city. P 37
Se co mot thay doi ve rung. Cac nha khoa hoc co gang ngan chan cac cong ty khai thac go dang don sach rung. Chung ta phai bao ve ca, hoang thu va chat luong nuoc. Chung cung co gia tri. Rung la mot noi that dep ma con nguoi nen tan huong.
Moi thu thay doi khi nguoi ta don tat ca cay coi. Cay coi, muong thu va nuoc phu thuoc vao nhau. Nhieu loai dong thuc vat bien mat. Muc nuoc ngam thay doi tham chi dieu nay co the anh huong den khi hau cua chung ta.

A change is coming in the forest. Scientists are trying to make logging companies stop clear cutting. We have to protect the fish, wildlife and water quality. They have value, too. The forest is a beautyful place that people should be able to enjoy.
It changes everything when all trees are cut. The trees, animals, and water depend on each other. Many plants and animals disappear. The water level in the ground changes. It can even affect our climate.
First sentence, the writer use present continuous tense to show the state of change is currently. If he use the future tense to show verb se, it would make reader think about a time in the future it will happen.
Second sentence, scientist try to stop the logging companies from cuting all the trees in the forest. However he use clear cutting, the word that make readers have difficulty in knowing whether the action of cutting is clear or is it cut all the trees.
Third and fourth sentence of two version is equivalent.
Fifth sentence witer use should able to enjoy, why did’t he use should enjoy. I think that use is good because people have ability to enjoy forest.
Paragraph 2:
When all trees are cut, everything will change. The writer is clever at using it, a subject that implies the action of cutting all trees in the forest. Besides, he use the passive voice” all trees are cut”, it suitable to the style in english, people tend to use more passive form to show cause and effect issues.

linhda said...

P58(page 49)
Cuc Phuong National Park:
I think this English translated reading is the good one! The translator still keeps the similar style as in the Vietnamese one. The translated one has the same number of the sentences like in the origina one. In general, the meaning in the translated one is rather closed to the Vietnamese one because of the way in which the translator has chosen words.
However, there are some noun phrase expressions that are not clear for the readers. First of all, the word “karst” is a wrong spelling word” - it should be “karts”. And in the first sentence, it lacks of the main verb “to be”. It should be “Cuc Phuong National Park (Ninh Binh) is in the easternmost part of a.......Viet Nam”. In addition, we can use “a globally important part” instead of “a globally important example” because I think that “example” does not mean “quần thể” in this context.
There are some translated phrases that haven’t been translated as meaningful as in the Vietnamese ones. For example, in the second sentence, the order is changed illogically in the translated one. We can see that the limestone forest belongs to lowland in northern Viet Nam, but they appear equally in the English translated sentence “lowland and limestone forest in....”. In my opinion, we should translate them “.....large area of limestone forest of lowland in northern Viet Nam”
One more example is in the sentence “Chæ hai giôø ñoàng hoà ñi töø Haø Noäi veà phía nam baèng xe oâ toâ, khi nhìn thaáy nhöõng daõy nuùi ñaù voâi ñaàu tieân in boùng treân ñoàng ruoäng laø baïn ñaõ gaàn Cuùc Phöông roài nay” that are translated “just two hours south of Ha Noi, large shadows of the first karst towers interrupt the reflections from the rice fields, signaling Cuc Phuong’s proximity”. They are not very correct translated words. Instead, we can say “it just takes two hours to go to Ha Noi from the South by car; you will know that you are near to Cuc Phuong when seeing the first karsts towers’ shadow on the fields”.
That is my comment on the “Cuc Phuong National Park”







Extra activity:

Here my comment:

Khoa học hiện ñaïi cho ta hieåu bieát ngaøy caøng saâu saéc hôn nhöõng moái quan heä maät thieát giöõa con ngöôøi caù theå vôùi thieân nhieân, vuõ truï, vôùi traùi ñaát vaø moâi tröôøng sinh thaùi, vôùi theá giôùi loaøi ngöôøi, vôùi ñaát nöôùc, lòch söû, vaên hoùa cuûa daân toäc.....Cho neân thay cho thaùi ñoä ñoái laäp con ngöôøi vôùi moâi tröôøng, con ngöôøi khai thaùc vaø taän duïng moâi tröôøng cho lôïi ích cuûa mình, seõ phaûi laø moät thaùi ñoä hôïp taùc vaø khoan dung giöõa con ngöôøi vaø moâi tröôøng, moâi tröôøng thieân nhieân cuõng nhö moâi tröôøng xaõ hoäi. Thaùi ñoä ñoù theå hieän moät caùch chung nhaát yù thöùc traùch nhieäm cuûa con ngöôøi môùi trong theå kyû môùi

Modern science helps us more profound understanding about close relationships between individuals and the nature, the universe, the earth and ecological environment, the world humankind, countries, history, the nation’s culture. Therefore, instead of mankind’s attitude in opposition toward the environment, human beings who explode and take full advantage of the environment for the sake of themselves will have attitude of cooperation and toleration between human beings and the environment including natural and social environment

Here my second comment:
I think this one is a hard translation one. In the Vietnamese paragraph, it is a little bit difficult for the translator; even we read this one in Vietnamese. Therefore, we sometimes have to change both structures and words to make the translated reading smoother and easier for Vietnamese readers.
However, I like this reading and I think that the translator has finished it perfectly. The word choice is the good point that I can see clearly in this translation. They are closed to the original one. The words that the translator has chosen are not very simple, so we can understand it. Besides, the translator also reduces the number of sentences from 3 in the Vietnamese paragraph into 2 in the translated one. It still keeps the meaning, and makes the translated paragraph more coherent with English style.
In the second sentence, I suppose that “explode” should be changed into “exploit”.
These are my ideas. Anyway, this is a perfect translation.
7044728- A1-Nguyen Thi Linh Da
nguyenthilinhda@gmail.com

Duy said...

Assignment 1 – Paragraph 28 – Page 29

The Vietnamese selection was translated rather well. The translator was skilled at structure forming by simplifying the two first Vietnamese sentences into only one sentence. Instead of using “Bãi biển” again in the second sentence, he used to short-formed relative clause. The phrase “known during the American War as “China Beach” modifies “Non Nuoc Beach”. As a result, it is no need to use “Bãi Biển” again as the subject od a newly-formed sentence. The second sentence of the translated selection, however, is good for choosing appropriate words. “Nước của bãi biển này trong nổi tiếng” is considered as an easy-to-be-translated into English like “the water here is famous for being clean”. However, “being clean” was replaced by “its clarity”. It really makes sense when being read. Furthermore, in the third sentence, the author use the past simple through “đã” which is easy to be misundestood. However, the translator is good enough to be able to distinguish the difference between the Vietnamse and English context. He used “cultivate” and “harvest” in the present tense. The last sentences reshow us the translator’s skill of structure forming by mixing two last sentence into one.

Assignment 2 – Paragraph 18 – Page 28 – Practice V-E Translation 1 – Nguyen Thanh Duc

Mặt khác, để thành công trong thời đại toàn cầu hoá, bạn trẻ cần trang bị ngay từ bây giờ một khà năng mà tiếng Anh gọi là blobal literacy, tạm dịch là khả năng hiểu biết toàn cầu. Khà năng này gồm năng lực ngoại ngữ, năng lực sử dụng công nghệ thông tin, và hiểu biết những nước có quan hệ mật thiết với mình, với công việc chuyên môn của mình

On the other hand, to be successful in the time of globalization, youngsters nowadays should get preparation for the capacity called “global literacy” which is provisionally translated as the ability of global understanding. This competence includes conpetence of foreign language, competence of information technology usage to approach and analyse information and cultural understanding of countries that are in close relationship with your country or your professional tasks.

The initial ideas that I come up is that the translator is such a wonderful translating expert. He has an exellencent word choice. In the first sentence, the Vietnamese author say “bạn trẻ cần trang bị…”. Instead of using the word “need”, he used “should” which sounds more polite and catchy. Furthermore, we are used to considering “khả năng” as “ability” in English. However, “competence” is a new-used word but seems to be the most suitable in this case. Conpetence is that you not only know to do something but also understand in detail. The word choice here is really outstanding. Other examples that also show us the skillfulness of the translator in choosing the word like “provisionally” for “tạm thời”, “professional” for “chuyên môn”,… In general, this translated selection is the best one I ve read with good structure arrangement as well as the word choice.

Phạm Trần Thanh Duy - 7044730 - EE01C30
Email: julesdidi@gmail.com

THI BINH said...

7044727 NGUYEN THI BINH binh7044727@gmail.com
I will give my comments on the paragraph 40

In my opinion, the whole translation is rather smooth and flowery.
Firstly, I quite agree with using simple present tense and present perfect tense as in “Sa Pa has earned its reputation as the ‘Town in the Clouds’”. I also had experience in using structure “ Located…kilometres of (a place), …”.
However, I suggest that we can use another verb ( nam o vi tri) like “ set its position” not “perches” although this verb creates a strong impression on us if we have a look at that sight.
“Thanh pho trong may” is translated as “Town in the clouds”. I wonder why we don’t translate it as “the town in clouds” or “the town in the clouds”. I myself prefer “ the town in clouds” because this town Sa Pa is the definite one while clouds are indefinite and numerous. Here the author seemed to pay all attention to the clouds, want to emphasise this specific feature in Sa Pa when he used “town in the clouds”.


TRAVELLIVE
CAM NANG DU LICH VIET NAM (15/7-15/8 2007)
Xe cua Nam Hai don chung toi lao nhanh tren con duong trai nhua phang li.Chua day 20 phut chung toi da co mat truoc vung bien menh mong cua Nam Hai Resort. Nhung hang dua cao vut dang dung dua trong gio bien, hang trieu khom lan dat toa huong thom ngat, dau do thap thoang nhung chiec chum to nho bieu trung cho su tru phu tao nen diem nhan cho khong gian von da thanh binh. Tung lan gio mat tu long dai duong thoi nhe, moi nguoi lao voi ra bien. Nuoc bien trong xanh den ky la. Anh ban cung doan reo len thich thu khi phat hien hoang hon dang buong dan noi cuoi troi. Nhung vet nang cuoi cung lan dai tren bo cat trang min, da troi nga mot mau vang man mac hoa cung mau xanh hien hoa cua nuoc bien tao nen mot buc tranh thien nhien dep den nao long…Tu bien nhin vao Nam Hai nhu mot lau dai khong lo lung linh.

[ During a recent visit, the Nam Hai car’s picked us up at the airport and shuttled us to the resort on a smooth asphalt road. In less than 20 minutes, we stood in front of the Nam Hai endless beach. Lines of coconut palms swayed lightly on in the breeze. Fragrant orchids in small clusters and big pots, perfumed the air and set a marvelous ambiance.
As a breeze blew in from offshore, sunbathers took to the sands and the clear sea water. A friend of mine shouted happily as the sun sunk on the horizon. As the waning sunlight fell on the white sandy beach, the dusky sky and gentle sea water made for a beautiful picture. From the beach, the Nam Hai Resort looks like a huge sparkling castle.]

What makes me interested in the piece of paper is its phrases such as “a smooth asphalt road” ( con duong trai nhua phang li), “ in less than 20 minutes” (chua day 20 phut), “coconut palms swayed lightly in the breeze” ( nhung hang dua cao vut dung dua don gio bien), “the waning sunlight” (vat nang cuoi cung).
In fact, the author translated its general meaning, not words by words. Here the author is rather creative in using the phrases instead of sentences when translating as in “ the dusky sky” ( bau troi nga mau vang man mac)
However, the translation is not perfect because the author ignored some meaningful words even phrases and sentences which make readers moved such as “vung bien menh mong”, “hang trieu khom land at”, “bieu tuong cho su tru phu”, “khong gian von da thanh binh”, “nuoc bien trong xanh den ky la”, “mau vang man mac”, “mau xanh hien hoa”, “ dep den nao long”…I suppose that most readers understand very well the content of the article. The simple past tense is good enough to talk about a trip. The simple present tense is suitable to give comments on the Resort: “The Nam Hai Resort looks like a huge sparkling castle”. I also like the way of selecting structure “AS….”to creat a complex sentence as in “As a breeze blew in from the sea , sunbathers took to the sands and the clear seawater”.
Using the phrase : “During a recent visit” and “at the airport” is another success in translating to set up the place and time for readers to follow easily.

TRAVELLIVE
NUOC HOA HALLOWEEN
THIEN SU CUA TINH YEU
Halloween la su ket hop cua nhung mui huong tinh tuy tu cam, huong nhai, va hoa hue, hoa tron voi cac tinh chat tu lan Nam Phi, xa huong va go dan huong de cho ra doi thu huong lang man nhu loi to tinh. Dieu dac biet khong chi nam trong thu huong cua troi dat ay ma con o dang chai nhu hinh cai chuong nho…va trai tim cua biet bao co gai da rung len nhu chiec chuong kia giua dem hoi lap lanh muon van mau sac.
Nhu mot thien su cua tinh yeu, Halloween da den Viet Nam de noi ho nhung nguoi dang yeu nhung dieu ho chua dam noi
SAN pham da co mat tai Ha Noi va Thanh pho Ho ChI Minh
Muon biet them chi tiet xin lien he
Cong Ty tnhh Thanh Bac Dong Duong
Tungshing square, 701& 702, 2 Ngo Quyen, Ha Noi
DT: 049350140
[ HALLOWEEN PERFUME
THE MESSENGER OF LOVE
Halloween perfume combines a number of flavors extracted from oranges, jasmine, and lily with essence from South Africa orchids, musk and sandalwood. Together the delicate scents form a romantic fragrance which is considered an avowal of love. The special feature of the perfume is not only the unique flavor but also the design of each bottle which has the shape of a small bell.
And how many girls have found their hearts ringing like those bells in colorful and sparkling nights?
Like a messenger of love, Halloween is now available in Vietnam to help lovers give shape and substance to their hidden thoughts.
These products are now available in Ha Noi and HCMC
For further information, please contact:
Thanh Bac Indochina Co., LTD
Tungshing square, 701&702, 2 Ngo Quyen, HN
Tel: 049350140 ]
In my opinion, this is a perfect piece of translation.
Firstly, “ the messenger of love” is a flowery language, or the word “extracted” in “ flavors extracted from orange, jasmine and lily” is a good choice of words. Similarly, the phrase “an avowal of love” (loi to tinh) costs thousands of gold. Also, “the unique flavor” (thu huong cua troi dat) is a praise worthy trial.
Besides, using the structure S+V (COMBINE) is excellent to create a perfect sentence: “ Halloween perfume combines a number of flavors extracted from orange, jasmine and lily with the essence from South Africa orchids, musk and sandalwood.” However, I can use the structure S+V( TOBE) “ Halloween perfume is a combination of flavors extracted from….and essence from…
One more feature is that the author translates rather successfully in the phare ( noi ho nhung nguoi dang yeu nhung dieu ho chua dam noi) as in “help lovers give shape and substance to their hidden thoughts”.
For the last four sentences, the piece of translation inspires the style of economic articles. That is what I need to get involve in.

myxuyen said...

Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
(Vietnam’s natural beauty)
Paragraph 69,page 58-59
It can be said that the English version is rather good and clearly for understanding more than Vietnamese text. First, it is good because of its word choice, for example, in Vietnamese text “có”is translated into “boast”(khoe khoang, kiêu hãnh) or just “hệ sinh vật đa dạng”is translated by “a wide range of biodiversity”. Actually, I feel that the English version makes readers feel the huge of the nature, of Natural Park.In addition, I like this translation way very much because it devides the ideas into small ones so that it is easy to understand more. That is the way to use punctual “dot (.)”. However, there are also just a little bit influence of Vietnamese way into English. That is word-by-word translation, such as “cả những loài ở miền Bắc và miền Nam Viet Nam are replaced by “including species endemic to both northern and southern Vietnam. I myself wonder “southern and northern”,are they good? Acceptable?.But anyway, I like this translation way so much because some details have the discovery of the translator,that is he/she know how to use word suitably to express what the Vietnamese text contain. I think this is very useful for every translator to learn, to apply in translation work.

Vietnamese text
Bổn phận với thầy
Lúc thôi học rồi, cũng như lúc còn đi học, bao giờ cũng phải yêu kính và biết ơn thầy. Ta phải năng lui tới thăm nom. Lỡ khi thầy đau yếu hay gặp hoạn nạn, ta phai săn sóc giúp đỡ. Ta dừng bắt chước những kẻ vô hạnh, làm nên chút danh phận gì, gặp thầy cũ, lờ đi như không biết, lấy sự phải chào hỏi thầy làm xấu hổ.
Như thế là vong ân bội nghĩa rất dáng khinh bỉ.
English translation
Duties to one’s teacher
After living school as well as now attending, we should always love, respect and show our gratitude towards our teacher. We should visit him frequently. Should our teacher get sick or meet with any trouble, we ought to take care and help him. We should not immitata those who are ill-educated, being famous, when meeting their old –time teachers, pretend not to know them, thinking that is a shame to greet their teachers. That is ungratefulness, which is very contemptible.

My comment
In general, this translation is so smooth and clearly.In addition, the choce of word anfd the way to arrange ideas are so good. Especially, I think that is the good translator in using word.For example, “yêu kính” are translated into “love,respect”. They are two different words. At first, I also feel embarrassed because I wonder why translator divide them into 2 separated word “love” and “respect”. But later, I think this is so good because they show enough the ideas of Vietnamese text. Frequently, vietnamese like to use “yeu kinh” as one word to show the respection to others.
However there are only 2 things make me unpleasant or hard to accept this version easily. Firstly, with “lỡ khi thầy đau yếu hay gặp hoạn nạn…” are translated into “should our teacher get sick or meet with any trouble…”I think the English version has lost something suddenly or surprisedly in vietnamese one.In addition, there are one sentence that having the influence of Vietnamese meaning clearly. This is the word-by-word translation. “ta dung bat chuoc ke vo hanh lam nen chut danh phan gi…” into “we should not immitate those who are ill- educated…”. All the sentence sound Vietnamese meaning.
Through this translation, i also have some experiences ,that is translation will be good and accepted powefully if the translation is actually good, not get almost meaning from the text
LE THI MY XUYEN
7044746_ class 01
Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com

hong said...

MY EMAIL ADDRESS : Thongoc_1411@yahoo.com
Paragraph 61
This paragraph describes animals in Cuc Phuong National Park. We can see in English text has close meaning with the Vietnamese one. I believe when you read English text you really want to go to Cuc Phuong to see those animals. In the first sentence in English text, the writer gave the place “ beyond the park gates” but in Vietnamese one didn’t have. In the second one, instead of “there are a lot of silver pheasants and jungle fowl”, he used “silver pheasants and jungle flow are plentiful” which is more professional. The third one, the author used “surrounded by a wetland” for “ nằm giữa vùng đầm lầy”, gave the right close with the Vietnamese text. The next one, the writer used “row” instead of “take”, “row” means “chèo”,this verb is very suitable with “boats”. The next one, “ một loài linh trưởng có nguy cơ tuyệt chủng cao của Cúc Phương sống trên dãy núi đà vôi Pú Luông” is “ a critically endangered, primate endemic to the Cúc Phương_Pù Luông Limestron Range”,it is very difficult to understand because it’s not enough the meaning. In Vietnamese text, we can know “sống trên dãy núi đá vôi Pú Luông” but in English we don’t know they are living in Pu Luong.. the last one, in English text has the time “ in the late afternoon” but in Vietnamese doesn’t have. In general, two paragraph was written professionally and coherent.
From “120 BÀI LUYỆN DICH VIỆT _ANH”
ON THE RIVERSIDE
Bên kia sông, gió thổi cát ở bãi tung lên trông tựa một đám mây. Sương vàng lan ra che mờ mấy làng ở chân trời. Xa nữa là dãy núi Tam Đảo, màu lam nhạt đứng sừng sững to tát, nguy nga,ngọn núi mù mù lẫn trong làn mây xám.

On the other side of the river, the wind is blowing up the sand which looks loke a bankingclouds. The spreading yellow mist blurs the view of small villages on the horizon. Farther away is the Tam Dao chain of mountains which is light blue, standing stockstill and majestically, the dim peaks of the mountains are covered in grey clouds.
COMMENT
This paragraph describes the scene on the riverside, the author uses many smooth words. The first sentence, “ gió thổi cát ở bãi tung lên trông tự một đám mây” is “ the wind is blowing up the sand which looks like a banking of clouds”. He used present continuous which makes the readers imagine the scene lively. And “ một đám mây” is translated “ a bank of clouds”, it seems that there are a lot of clouds which get together in the sky, so “the bank” is used effectively. The second one, “spreading” is like that yellow mist is lengthened more and more. Although in Vietnamse text is “ mấy làn nhỏ ở chân trời”, in English is “ the view of small villages” which help the scene be more concrete. The last sentence, the author described Tam Dao, he used “ stock still, majestically”, so the reader can see that Tam Dao is very beautiful and strong. In addition the translator used “covered in the grey clouds” to make up for Tam Dao, it becomes so romantic. In general, two texts described the scene very successfully.

trang said...

Paraph 16 Page 21

“ Bãi Cháy ” is the name of a region so we need remain in the English translation. We do not have to translate this name into English. But if we want to help readers to understand more about the meaning of the word “Bãi Cháy ”, we should translate it into English and put it in a bracket as the translator does in English translation: (Burning Plain). It is a good way to help readers to understand more about the text.
In the source, the author writes: “tương truyền rằng xưa kia” but in the translation, the translator does not translate this phrase into English. He just writes “one describes”. It is clearly that he does not translate word by word but I can understand what the author wants to say in the text. “One” means one of the legends that the author mentions in the first sentence. So the translator is very good to use “one” here. It not only is a short way of translation but also can make two sentences be connected.
I agree with the translator when he uses the word “Vietnamese” in the translation although it is not mentioned to in the source text. The appearance of the word “Vietnamses” in the translation is very important because it can help readers to distinguish two different armies. One is Yuan-Mongolian and the other is Vietnamese.
I think when we translate the word “nghĩa quân” into English, we should use “army” in stead of “defender”. “Army” means organized civilian body. “Defender” means protection. So “army” is more suitable in this situaton.
I think when we translate the sentence “đoàn thuyền chở lương thực của quân xâm lược Nguyên-Mông do tướng Trương Văn Hổ dẫn đầu đã bị nghĩa quân của tướng Trần Khánh Dư đốt cháy toàn bộ”, we should use relative pronoun to link two clauses of the sentence in stead of divide two clauses into two different sentences like the translator. This is my translation: “One descibes that a fleet led by Trương Văn Hổ with food for the Yuan-Mongolian invaders was fired by the Vietnamese army of Trần Khánh Dư”.
There are two ways to translate the phrase of “gió đông bắc” into English. One is “northeast winds”, another is “winds from the northeast” like the way the translator translates.
I wonder why the translator does not use the word “the West” when he translates the word “phía tây” in stead of “the western side”. These two phrases have the same meaning so we should use the short phrase to make the translation not too long.
I disagree when the translator translates the last sentence “Từ đó người ta đặt tên là Bãi Cháy” into “Hence, the name “Bãi Cháy” because it is not a sentence. It is just a nounphrase. I have another translation: Hence, it is named “Bãi Cháy”.










VƯỜN HOA ĐÀ LẠT

Đà Lạt nổi tiếng nhờ đủ loại hoa sặc sỡ và quí hiếm quanh năm.Vườn hoa Đà Lạt vào năm 1992 đã đoán tiếp 100000 du khách tạo được một doanh thu trên 400 triệu đồng .
Trong suốt nửa năm đầu của năm 1993,số du khách đến vườn hoa ngang với con số của cả năm 1992 trong đó du khách nước ngoài chiếm số đông. Ngay cả vào những ngày cao điểm,vườn hoa đã đón tiếp 7500 lượt du khách .
Với lễ Giáng sinh đang tới gần,vườn hoa Đà lạt sẽ thu hút nhiều du khách hơn nữa.Ngoài việc tiếp đón du khách tại vườn ra, công ty vườn hoa Đà lạt sẽ sẵn sàng thỏa mãn những yêu cầu của dân chúng về hoa,cỏ và việc trồng cây cảnh.Năm 1993,công ty vườn hoa Đà Lạt hy vọng kiếm được một doanh thu trên một tỷ đồng.

Kim Túy


Bài dịch
DALAT FLOWER GARDENS

Da Lat is famous for its colourful and precious flowers of a wide range, all the year round. The Dalat Flower Gardens received 100.000 tourists in 1992, earning a turnover of more than VNĐ 400 million.
During the first half of 1993, tourist arrivals at the gardens eaqualled to that of the whole year of 1992, when foreign tourists flourished in numbers. The flower gardens on peak days even welcomed 7.500 tourist arrivals.
Christmas is drawing near, Dalat flower gardens will embrace much more tourists. Apart from receiving at the gardens, Dalat Flower Garden Co. is willing to satisfy the people’s needs for flowers, grass and the growing of ornamental trees. In 1993, the Dalat Flower Gardens hoped to earn a turnover of over VND 1 billion.

My comments:
I disagree when the translator uses the verb “receive” in the sentence: “The Dalat Flower Gardens received 100.000 tourists in 1992”. Because the subject in this sentence (The Dalat Flower Gardens) is belong to thing, not person but the verb “receive” must go with personal subjects. So we can use another structure to translate this sentence. This is my translation: 100.000 tourists visited the Dalat Flower Gardens in 1992.
The translator is wrong when he uses the word “eaqualled”. It is not a verb and it does not mean “ngang bằng với”. He should use structure of “be equal to”
When translating Vietnamese words “chiếm số đông”, the translator uses the phrase “flourish in numbers”. I think it is very difficult for readers to understand if they do not know the meaning of “flourish”. In my opinion, we should use the adjective “numerous”. It means many. It is not only simple but also easy to understand.
The translator is good when he uses the verb “welcome” for translating Vietnamese word “đón tiếp”. The verb “welcome” is very suitable in this situation. It can be used with a subject belong to thing.
I disagree with the translator when he uses “near” in the sentence: “Christmas is drawing near”. It is not suitable when he uses “near” because “near” is used for space, not time. But in the sentence, we mention to the time of Christmas. I have another translation: Christmas is coming soon.
I disagree when the translator translate Vietnamses word “thu hút” into “embrace” because this English word does not mean “thu hút”. I think we should use the verb “attract” or “interest”.
The phrase “apart from receiving at the garden” is very ambiguous for readers to understand what the author means in the source “ngoài việc tiếp đoán du khách tại vườn ra”. The word “receiving” can not be used in this situation. This is my translation: apart from welcoming visitors at the gardens.



NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7044743
this is my new email address: nmtrang86@gmail.com

thu said...

Optional paragraph:
Shannon Curfman duoc giup do de sang tac hon mot nua cac bai trong album cua co ay. Cac phong vien da cho rang co con qua tre de co the viet nhac blues. Co giai thich rang viet bai hat la ke mot cau chuyen. Co chung to duoc rang tuoi tac khong phai la van de ma am nhac moi la dieu quan trong. Bay gio chung toi moi ban lang nghe mot bai hat khac cua Shannon Curfman trong anlbum moi nhat cua co, ‘No Riders’
Suggested translation version of the author:
Shannon Curfman helped write more than half the songs on her album. Reporters ask her often how someone so young can write the blues so well. Shannon says that song-writing is story-telling. She says she hopes to show that it is not the age but the music that is important. We leave you now with Shannon Curfman reforming another song on her latest album, ‘No Riders’.
(Both taken from the book “Tuyen chon cac bai dich Viet-Anh theo chu diem” of Nguyen Thanh Tam. Shannon Curfman)

Comments:
This translation version is quite good. It is smooth enough for the readers to read. However, this should be improved more for its word choice and its structures. Let look on each sentence of this paragraph and examine it.
For the first sentence, Shannon Curfman is receiving the help of her friends or someone else basing on the Vietnamese version. With the sentence ‘Shannon Curfman helped write…’ the readers will understand that she gives her help for someone, yet in fact she receives the help. So Passive Voice should be used to emphasize the aid of her colleagues. Besides to music, ‘to write’ a song, a verb ‘to compose’ should usually use rather than the verb ‘to write’. Therefore, I will write ‘Shannon Curfman receives the aid in composing more than half the songs on her album’
In the next sentence: ‘Reporters ask her often how someone so young can write the blues so well.’ With this one, the readers will understand that ‘someone’ does not indicate Shannon, but anyone else. So it is not related to the meaning of the origin. With the structure, we will see that the reporters consider Shannon as a reader or a person who gives the idea of whether young person can write blues, but Shannon herself can compose blues. So, using ‘ask her often how someone…’ here is not appropriate to the Vietnamese version. The problem comes from the structure and the word choice that the writer uses. They make the readers understand differently. One thing I want to discuss is that in Vietnamese version, it does not mention that how well Shannon composes her songs. Therefore, it is no need to add ‘so well’. Thus, with my suggestion, it should be translated: ‘Reporters claim that Shannon is too young to be able to compose blues’. This sentence seems simple and clears to the readers rather the former one.
The sentence ‘Shannon says that song-writing is story-telling’ compared with Vietnamese version ‘Co giai thich rang viet bai hat la ke mot cau chuyen.’ One thing I want to share is using the verb ‘giai thich’. Because Shannon is interviewee, when she answers, she will gives her own explanation to the reporters’ question. So, I think the verbs ‘to explain’ is more appropriate and better although ‘to say’ is right. In my opinion, I will translate: ‘She explains that composing songs seems to be the same to story-telling.’ I change ‘song-writing’ into ‘composing songs’ because as I explained before, composing is more suitable than writing.
With next sentence: ‘Co chung to duoc rang tuoi tac khong phai la van de ma am nhac moi la dieu quan trong.’ which is translated into English as: ‘She says she hopes to show that it is not the age but the music that is important.’ it should be improve somewhere. First, I want to mention to the word choice here. If the writer uses ‘she says she hope to show that………’, the emphasis level on the sentence is quite weak. In my opinion, the verb ‘to prove’ should be used because it will show her emphasis on her next saying. In addition, I think that using another structure unlike used one is necessary in ‘it is not the age but the music that is important.’ I will write that: ‘the age is not important, but the music is more’ Thus for the whole sentence, it should be: ‘She proves that the age is not important, but the music is more’
For the last one: ‘Bay gio chung toi moi ban lang nghe mot bai hat khac cua Shannon Curfman trong anlbum moi nhat cua co, ‘No Riders’ . The former translated version is: ‘We leave you now with Shannon Curfman reforming another song on her latest album, ‘No Riders’ First I want to discuss about the word choice. The writer uses the verb ‘to reform’ that is not appropriate to the meaning of the original version. ‘to reform’ here means to make something become better by the removal of faults or errors. So in this context, this verb can not be used. Moreover, this sentence seems to invite the listeners to hear one of the works of Shannon. So, I think that when translating, using suitable structure for example using ‘Let’s…’ or ‘let us…’ is better. In my opinion, this sentence should be ‘Let us now show you another song of Shannon Curfman in her latest album, ‘No Riders’.



Compulsory paragraph: Paragraph 126 page 96-97
The sentence ‘This area twelve kilometers north of Da Lat includes Lang Bian Mountain, which has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162 meters’ is so smooth. I like the way the author use the reduced relative clause because the sentence might be shorter but still contain the main meaning of the original version. With the phrase ‘…has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162 meters’, he uses ‘altitude’ to indicate the height of something usually above sea level. Maybe we can see that only using ‘altitude’ replacing for ‘the height above sea level’ may not be enough in term of meaning. In my opinion, adding a phrase ‘above sea level’ will make the sentence more completely. One more thing I want to share is that I will change the structure in ‘…has the area’s highest altitude at 2,162meters’ a little. This may be quite complex for reader. The first time I read this phrase, I could not understand because it is quite difficult and complicated to read. So, it should be written in a simpler way. In my idea, I think that ‘…has the highest altitude at 2,162 meters above sea level in this area’. That way is less complex than the English version. Thus, the whole new sentence may be ‘This area twelve kilometers north of Da Lat includes Lang Bian Mountain, which has the highest altitude of the area at 2,162 meters above sea level’.
For the next sentence ‘It is popular with both local residents an tourists interested in adventure sports and in studying are flora and fauna’, I think the translator uses ‘resident’ is not appropriate. Because if ‘resident’ is a noun, it just indicate the permanent inhabitant or the guest in a hotel or something else. So it should be used another word. Simply, ‘people’ or ‘citizens’ can replace for ‘resident’. Another point is using word ‘studying’ which means ‘nghien cuu’ in original text. I think the better word is ‘to research’. Although both words convey the same meaning, they are used in different contexts. The verb ‘to study’ means ‘to get knowledge from the books or materials maybe for a long time or to achieve the knowledge’. However, the verb ‘to research’ means ‘to study from the books or materials in order to establish the facts or withdraw conclusions’. Therefore, in this context, the meaning of ‘to research’ is the closest. Besides, with the structure, I will use another way. In my opinion, I will translate ‘Both local citizens and tourists consider Lam Vien Plateau as their favorite place where they are able to play adventurous sports and to research on rare flora and fauna.’ This sentence seems clearer and closer to the original text.
For the last sentence: ‘Residents belong to the Lat, chil, and Ma ethnic minority groups’, firstly I will change ‘Residents’ into ‘Citizents’ with my explanation before and
They are no things to discuss more in this final one. Thus, the new sentence should be ‘Citizens here belong to the Lat, Chil, and Ma ethnic minority groups.’ In this sentence, I add an adverb ‘here’ to make clear and emphasize the place Lat, Chil and Ma people live is in Lam Vien Plateau in particular and Lang Bian Mountain in general, not somewhere else


LE VIET THU 7044741
EE01K30

minh said...

Paragraph 14 HA LONG BAY

Thanks to the way of using nice words, this paragraph is so interesting and attractive. Through the reading, the appearance of Ha Long, at sun set, is so beautiful that I want to visit there immediately. In addition, The words in English version as well as Vietnamese one are succinct and concise. The first sentence is so long. If I translated this one, I would be embarrassing. It is very difficult for me to transfer such a long sentence. Beside, The translation is smooth and soft. I also know some useful vocabulary, such as: “crimson”, Stretch out” and “for an instant”. The one I like best in the second sentence is the verb phrase “ climbs into the sky”. The writer used the personification to consider the moon to the human. And, It help the phrase more pictographic and likely. In short, I like this translation very much. It help me know more about Vietnam’s natural beauty as well as some useful words.

From: PRACTICE IN VIETNAMESE- ENLISH TRANSLATION1
Nguyen Thanh Duc
Vietnamese translation
Không thể phủ nhận được thành tựu vĩ đại của Viet Nam trong năm vừa qua, đặc biệt là về các chỉ số phát triển kinh tế, nhưng các bạn hãy nhìn sang nước láng giềng của mình la Trung Quốc-họ đang phát triển rất nhanh chóng.Do đó,năm 2003 của Viet Nam việc đẩy nhanh tốc độ phát triển kinh tế hơn nữa thì rất khó rút ngắn dược khoảng cách giữa Việt Nam và các nước trong khu vực cũng như trên thế giới.

English translation

It’s impossible to deny the achievement in the development of Viet Nam last year, especially the indices of economic development. However, please have a look at our neighbor country China. It is under rapid development. As the result, if Viet Nam does not speed up the economic growth in 2003, it’s very hard to shorten the gap between Viet Nam and other countries in the region as well as in the world.

My comment

Generally, the version is smooth and meaningful. However, in my opinion, there are some words and phrases should be replaced to make the translation better. For example, the noun phrase “the indices of economic development” should be changed into “economic growth indices”. When translation, it is better for us to avoid transferring word by word. One more thing, In Vietnamese version, we have “Các bạn hãy nhìn sang nước láng giềng của mình là Trung Quốc”. However, in English one, it was transferred into “please have a look at our neighbor country China”. The word “please” is not strong enough to show the ideas of writer. I think it will be better if we use phrase “Let’s have a look at our neighbor country China”.

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh,7044734, SPAV 01 K30, class1

Please send your feedback to
duylinhctu@yahoo.com

Paragraph 7:
What I agree:
_ The phrase "con duoc goi la chua Tra Co hoac chua Nam Tho" is translated so well and put in two commas to make an explanation for "chua Linh Khanh", it make the sentence more simple than:"The Linh Khanh Pagoda is also known as the Tra Co or the Nam Tho Pagoda, and it was erecyed..." (more complex and not so smooth)
_ The word "khuon vien" is translated "This site" is more suitable than "This yard" because this paragraph is about a place of religion, the transltatormust use the formal word. Ofcourse, "site" is more formal than "yard".
_ The word "peaceful" can illustrate the atmosphere of the pagoda very well. If the translator use "silent" instead, it will bring another meaning: soundless, sad, while "peaceful" make readers feel comfortable and relax.
_ In the second sentence, the translator changes "khuon vien chua rong 5000 m2 trong mot khung canh yen a ben duoi nhung hang cay co thu" (s sentence) into "This site of 5000 square metres in a peaceful setting beneath ancient trees" (a noun phrase) to make subject for the following verb phrase and simplize the sentence.
What I don't agree:
_ The word "erected" is not very suitable because itmeans putting something upright. According to me, I'll use "built"
_ Similar to the previous case, "duoc duc" should not be translated as "added" because it just means "brought the bronze bells from another place to Linh Khanh Pagoda. In this case, I think "casted" is better.

Phan Thang said...

Phan Việt Thắng
7044739
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty.
Paragraph 26

Comments
The paragraph includes 4 sentences. In the first sentence, the translator uses a relative clause whose meaning supports the noun “ Cảnh Dương” very clearly. However, in my opinion, the use of “widely” is unnecessary that it changes the meaning of the source text a little bit. It is tolerable, but if we want to keep the exact meaning of the source text, we should not use such that word. Next, I think we should use “ The eight-kilometer long beach” instead of “ The eight kilometers of beach” because we are talking about the beach, not its length.
The translation is, on the whole, very well. However, there are some problems that need to be improved. For example, “The beach is sheltered” in the third sentence totally has a different meaning with that of “ It is a safe shelter” for other objects such as animals or people. The last sentence is too long because the translator uses two adjectives “popular” and “famous” to express just one thing. We can use “foreign and domestic tourists (or visitors) instead of “tourists, and, then “local residents alike”. We can also use either “popular” or “famous” rather than using both these two words that sounds repetitive.
So, we can shorten this sentence, at least this way:
“Cảnh Dương is popular with foreign and domestic tourists for its many sporting activities”.

• Vietnamese text
“Không thể phủ nhận về thành tựu phát triển của Việt Nam trong năm vừa qua, đặc biệt là về các chỉ số phát triển kinh tế nhưng các bạn hãy nhìn sang các nước láng giềng của mình là Trung Quốc-họ đang phát triển rất nhanh chóng. Do đó, nếu trong năm 2003 Việt Nam không đẩy mạnh tốc độ phát triển kinh tế hơn nữa thì sẽ rất khó rút ngắn được khoảng cách giữa Việt Nam và các nước khác trong khu vực cũng như trên thế giới.”
• English text
“It’s impossible to deny the achievement in development of Viet Nam last year, especially the indices of economic development. However, please have a look at our neighbor country China. It is under rapid development. As a result, if Viet Nam doesn’t speed up the economic development growth in 2003, it’s very hard to shorten the gap between Viet Nam and other countries in the region as well as in the world.”
• Comments:
In the Vietnamese source text, we just have 2 sentences whereas in the English version we have 4. That shows the difference between Vietnamese language and English language in the way of expressing the ideas. The sentence “ Họ đang phát triển rất nhanh chóng” is an example. “Họ” here means “Chinese people”, but when we translate into English, we cannot say, “ They are under rapid development”. The reason is that we want to say, “Chinese people are having a rapid development” rather than “They are developing”. Therefore, the use of “it” in this sense is very good and appropriate. We should, therefore, understand clearly the Vietnamese text before translating. In addition, it’s a good translation to use the phrase “under a rapid development” to mean “đang phát triển nhanh chóng”. It sounds more professional than “is developing rapidly”.
In the English version, the sentence, “However, please have a look at our neighbor country China” sounds like spoken English. It also has a mistake with “neighbor” in stead of using “neighboring” because “neighbor” indicates a person.
We also cannot write “China” alone like this. Because of modifying the preceeding noun phrase “neighboring country”, it needs a hyphen “-“ before it. Just as a suggestion, we can improve the sentence like, “However, let’s have a glance at our neighboring country-China, it is under rapid development.
The last sentence is, on the whole, translated well. However, using “As a result” and “speed up” to mean, “do đó” and “đẩy mạnh” are not very appropriate. It is less serious to replace “As a result” by “Therefore” or “So” and more professional to replace “speed up” by “ boost”.

Vo said...

P.54 page 46-47
Vo Chanh Truc 7044744 vochanhtruc@gmail.com
Group 1

The translator did an excellent job when conveying the idea from Vietnamese into English. In the first sentence, we can see the word “du khách” be translated into “visitors”. I have a question in my mind. Why didn’t the translator use the word “tourists” instead of “visitors”? In the Oxford dictionary, “tourist” is defined as a person who is travelling or visiting a place for pleasure while “visitor” is a person who visits a person or place. I think both of the two words can be used in this context. However, I prefer the word “tourist” because the people mentioned in this paragraph visited Cat Ba Town for pleasure, not for other reasons else. Next, in this sentence, the phrase “náu mình trong một con vịnh” was translated into “nestled around a bay”. The excellence of the translator is the use of the preposition “around” instead of “in”. So, the translator can image the location of Cat Ba Town when reading this paragraph. Although in the Vietnamese version, there is the word “sẽ”, the translator used present simple tense to explain the truth for tourists to visit CatBa Town. In the next sentence, the can see the phrase “ven hai bên đường đi”, the translator translate it into “border the promenade”. In my opinion, the word “promenade” has become old-fashioned and very formal. So I would translate: Along the walk side, there are friendly hotels and restaurants. Let us discuss more about the word “friendly”. I think it is better to use the word “hospitable”. Friendly is behaving in a kind and pleasant way because you like somebody or want to help them, showing kindness; making you feel relaxed and as though you are among friends. However, hospitable is pleased to welcome guests; generous and friendly to visitors. So using hospitable is more appropriate in this context. Next, the third sentence showed tourists what they should do in the first afternoon. When giving advice, we should use the structure “should” or “had better”. However, in this sentence, the translator used different structure to inform the tourists of what is the best in Cat ba town. He didn’t write what the tourists should do but places are good for tourists to visit or to enjoy. That is a technique to write an advertisement.

Dao Thi Luong said...

7044735 – Đào Thị Lương – lauradao86@gmail.com
Comment 1:
Book: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty- paragraph 19- Đồ Sơn Beach- page 22.
In general, I think the translation text is good because it keeps the meaning of the text rather close to the Vietnamese original. The words that are used in the translation text are very simple but they still help readers understand the ideas of the text. The verb “được xây dựng” in the passive form is translated into “dates from” which is in the active form, this way simplifies the sentence making it easy to understand. Besides, The word “Ngày nay” is translated into the verb “remain” instead of “nowadays”, this way makes the text sounds more English. Moreover, proper names in Vietnamese are kept the same. Then it strengthens the original ideas in Vietnamese.
On the other hand, I do not agree with the translator when s/he translates “…và đảo Bạch Long Vĩ ở gần đó trông như chiếc đuôi của con rồng vậy.” into “…and that Bạch Long Vĩ island nearby looks as if it were created by the dragon’s whisking tail.”. If I were the translator, I would say it in a more simple way : “…and that Bạch Long Vĩ island nearby looks like a dragon’s tail.”
Comment 2:
Book: Luyện Dịch Việt-Anh , quyển 4, tác giả :Hồ Văn Hòa, nxb Đà Nẵng.
Bài 93, trang 334.
Vietnamese text:
Những ngọn núi mù sương xa xa cùng ánh sáng dìu dịu trên dòng Hương Giang khiến Huế trở thành một trong những đô thị mơ mộng nhất của Việt Nam.Thắm đượm nhịp sống yên ả của cả một kỷ nguyên trước, Huế đẹp lạ lùng. Thành phố Huế nằm bên bờ sông Hương vốn được coi là một trong số các dòng sông sạch nhất, xanh nhất thế giới.
English translation text:
Distant misty mountains and soft light over the Perfume River makes Hue become one of Vietnam’s most romantic cities. Infused with the relaxed pace of an earlier era, Hue is awesomely beautiful. The Hue city is located on the banks of the Perfume river which has to be one of the cleanest, greenest rivers in the world.

Comment:
The Vietnamese original text is written in a descriptive style, so there are some words especially adjectives that may be hard to be translated equivalently into English. However, the translator has a rather simple but effective way to translate it and s/he still keeps the main idea of the Vietnamese text. S/he chooses the words that has rather close meaning with Vietnamese words such as : “Distant” for “xa xa”; “misty” for “mù sương”; “soft light” for “ánh sáng dìu dịu” or “Infused with” for “Thắm đượm”,etc. Moreover, the structures s/he uses help convey the ideas in Vietnamese well, but it does not lose the natural characteristics in English. What I like best in the translation text is the way the translator expresses the idea in English, which is very clear and easy to understand.

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh,7044734, SPAV 01 K30, class1

Please send your feedback to
duylinhctu@yahoo.com

Vietnamese text:
Dau nam 2020, Viet Nam se co vi tri khac han hien nay. The he tre Viet Nam se duoc biet den voi hinh anh thanh binh va tien bo. Ho se co su chuan bi tot honde nghi ve nhung van de dai han nhu moi truong cho su tang tuoi tho, nhung khu vuc con doi ngheo...Ho cung se phai hieu rang ho la "nhung cong dan toan cau" hon bay gio.

English text:
By the year 2020, Vietnam will occupy a new position rather than now. The Vietnamese youth will be known as a progressive and peaceful image. They will have a better start to think of long-term problems such as environment for longevity improvement, regions in poverty...They will know that they are more "global citizens" than the youth today.

My comments:
_ "Co vi tri khac han" should be "have a different position", not "occupy a new position", because "occupy" means throwing away the old to get the new one, it does notrelate to to the progress of changing from one to another.
_ The word "start" does not mean "su chuan bi", so, I'll use the word "preparation" instead.
_ The word "global citizens" is a noun, but this position needs an adjective (between more... than). I'll change it into:"they are citizens "more global" than the youth today.

Vo said...

Vo Chanh Truc 7044744 vochanhtruc@gmail.com
Vietnamese version
Lan thân mến

Thế là hôm nay bạn đã được them một tuổi. Minh mong bạn sẽ có thật nhiều sinh nhật hạnh phúc và không bao giờ mất đi vẻ hồn nhiên và tính tình vui vẻ ma mọi người đều yêu quí nơi bạn.

Hôm nay và mỗi ngày mình đều nghĩ đến bạn với tình cảm vô cùng quí mến.

Thân mến.

English version
Dear Lan,
So you’re a year older today. I hope you’ll have many, many happy birthdays and that you’ll never lose the cheerful outlook and gay spirits that have made you so well-loved by all acquaintances.

On this day and every day we are all thinking of you with love and affection.
Yours,
P294 Buoc dau hoc dich Viet Anh – Nguyen Huu Du.

Comment
This translation is quite good. However, I have something to discuss.

Firstly, “ve hon nhien” was translated into “cheerful outlook”. Why didn’t he use words like innocence or naivety? Although those words mean “ve ngay tho” in Vietnamese, they also mean lack of knowledge and experience of the world, especially of evil or unpleasant things (Oxford Dictionary). So, using these words in this context is not appropriate.

Secondly, “tinh tinh vui ve” was translated into gay spirits. In my opinion, I’d rather use the word hilariousness. “Gay” also means happy and full of fun, how ever, it is old-fashioned.

Finally, in the last sentence, the translator use the word “we” to translate “mình”. I think “Mình” in Vietnamese is singular. However, “we” is plural. So, I will use “I” instead of “we”.

Ngoc said...

7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph 12 (p.17) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty

This paragraph is about the beauty of Ha Long Bay. On reading this paragraph, I discovered many ways to describe natural beauty. The translation used colorful words and special ways to translate the Vienamese text into English. One of things made me impressed most is its word choice. for example, “xanh tham tham” in Vietnamese was “deep blue” in English, “ngoan nghoeo” was “meandering”,etc.

In the second sentence, only with the verb “bob”, the translation succesfully expressed the meaning of “bong benh” that helped the readers easily imagine that scene.

There are also interesting points in the third sentence. The translation used “approaches” to translate “khi mua he den”, but I think this verb does not express exactly the original meaning. I would use “comes” instead of “approaches” in this sentence. Similarly, I would translate “they appear to awaken together” because “in unison” was not very common. I like the phrase “from the blue depths” at the end of this sentence because it was creative and very close to the meaning of “mat nuoc xanh sau tham”.

The next sentence was also a beautiful description of natural beauty. The translation found the way to translate a long and difficult phrase in Vietnamese original text, that is “in cracks along the rocky faces”. This pharse may not cover exactly the meaning of “lach minh tu cac khe da” but the readers could understand and fancy the picture of fig trees and orchids in Ha Long Bay.

In the fifth sentence, I appreciate the way of translating “suot quanh nam” as “any time of year” because “all year long” or “during the whole year” may not be as exact as the phrase in the translation.

Next, the English translation used very simple sentence but it could totally express the meaning of the Vietnamese text “Sometimes, a rock face seems to block the route.”Here we do not uses any English word to translate the phrase “khong con loi di” but the readers still understand the inside meaning of the verb “block”.

The sentence before the last is another example of using special words and structures. I learnt one way to translate a difficult sentence “Het canh nay khuat lai den mot canh khac xuat hien.” into English, that is “one scene disappears as yet another panorama opens.” I have tried to find another way to translate this sentence but it seemed not to be smooth and effective like this one.

Finally, the last sentence was very interesting. the translation used the verb “feels” with the subject “the winding route”; this was unusual because we often see the subject of “feel” is a person. This unusual way really made special effect to the whole paragraph and contributed to the success of the paragraph.

In conclusion, this is a good translation with careful choice of words and various structures that translated not only exactly the meaning of the original text but also made good impression on readers about Ha Long Bay’s natural beauty.

7044736 Tran Truc Ngoc trucngocspavk30@gmail.com

Comments on paragraph taken from website http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/

The Vietnamese original text

Lãnh đạo Đảng, Nhà nước vui Tết Trung thu với thiếu nhi

Ngày 23/9/2007. lúc 9h 52'

Tối 22/9, Tổng Bí thư Nông Đức Mạnh đã đến chung vui Lễ hội Trăng rằm với 2.000 cháu thiếu nhi quận Ba Đình, Hà Nội tại Cung thể thao Quần Ngựa. Tổng bí thư nhắc nhở, trong thời gian tới cộng đồng cần dành cho các cháu thiếu niên, nhi đồng đặc biệt là các cháu ở vùng sâu, vùng xa, các cháu có hoàn cảnh khó khăn có điều kiện tốt hơn nữa trong học hành, vui chơi. Tối cùng ngày, Chủ tịch nước Nguyễn Minh Triết cũng đã đến dự tết Trung thu cùng 500 em thiếu nhi có hoàn cảnh đặc biệt khó khăn, trẻ lang thang, cơ nhỡ đến từ các mái ấm, nhà mở và học sinh nghèo hiếu học của các quận, huyện trên địa bàn Thành phố Hồ Chí Minh. Nhân dịp này, Chủ tịch nước cùng các vị lãnh đạo Thành phố, doanh nghiệp đã trao tặng 500 phần quà và 300 suất học bổng trị giá 380 triệu đồng từ đóng góp của các doanh nghiệp cho các em thiếu nhi.
BTK-TTX

The English translation

Party and State leaders join children's festival

Updated on 9/23/2007 at 21:7

Party General Secretary Nong Duc Manh called on the community to give special care to disadvantaged children while attending a cheerful Mid-Autumn festival, in Ha Noi on September 22. The celebration, held in the Quan Ngua Sport Palace, brought together 2,000 children in Ba Dinh district. The same day, State President Nguyen Minh Triet joined 500 disadvantaged children in Ho Chi Minh City to celebrate the festival for children. At the event, President Triet presented 500 gifts and 300 scholarships worth 380 million VND, contributed by businesses to participating children, many of whom are street children.
(CPV/VNA)

My comments

This translation is very professional in using various complicated structures to express the original meaning. In comparison to the Vietnamese text, there are lots of difference in the organisation (the order) among sentences in the paragraph. However, they still keep the expected meaning. The translator is very good at covering the meaning of the original text into the English text without following the order of sentences in the original text.

In the original text, we have only one sentence “ Toi 22/9, Tong Bi thu Nong Duc Manh da den chung vui Le hoi Trang ram voi 2.000 chau thieu nhi quan Ba Dinh, Ha Noi tai Cung the thao Quan Ngua.” However, the translation divided it into two sentences and included part of information from the next sentence “called on the community to give special care to disadvantaged children”. Then, the order of sentences in the original text are not kept. In addition, the translator chose to translate the place and the participants in the second sentence instead of the first sentence as in the Vietnamese text.

The translation used the phrase “disadvantaged children” two times to replace a very long noun phrase “cac chau thieu nien, nhi dong dac biet la cac chau o vung sau, vung xa, cac chau co hoan canh kho khan” and the phrase “cac em thieu nhi co hoan canh dac biet kho khan, tre lang thang, co nho den tu cac mai am, nha mo va hoc sinh ngheo hieu hoc”. I learnt that in English when we use “disadvantaged children” or “disadvantaged people”, people will understand to whom the phrase refer or imply (children from the poor and remote areas, children with difficult situation, homeless children,etc.) Therefore, by using this word “disadvantaged chidren”, the translation can shorten its sentences and readers can easily refer to kind of children the original text wanted to express.

In the last sentence, the translation changed the position of some phrases by using relative clause “contributed by businesses” instead of translating normally as “President Triet, city leaders and business people”. I appreciate this way because it made the translation more natural in the English language.

In conclusion, this translation is not only professional but also natural which kept the meaning of the Vietnamese original text and achieved style of writing newspapers or report in foreign language.

Au Cai Jin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Au Cai Jin said...

7044783
Au Tai Tien
aucaijin@gmail.com

Comment 01
Book: Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Paragraph 83, Page 67-69

Considering this paragraph about Phú Quốc, I realize some problems which, in my opinion, should be changed to make the translation better. The author translates the first sentence "Phú Quốc nổi tiếng khắp thế giới nhờ hai sản phẩm truyền thống: hạt tiêu đen và nước mắm" as "Phú Quốc is famous worldwide for two traditional products: black pepper and fish sauce." As I know, "nước mắm" can be kept in the original form (like "áo dài"), and the word "fish sauce" wouldn't be a good translation. That's why the author do not translate "nước mắm" in the third sentence. Besides, I think "nổi tiếng khắp thế giới" can translate as"word-famous" instead of "famous worldwide". Let see the next sentense: "Số lượng của hai sản phẩm này rất đáng ngạc nhiên." I understand it as "Hai loại sản phẩm này (hạt tiêu đen và nước mắm) có số lượng rất lớn (đáng kinh ngạc)." So, is it better if we combine the two sentences as "Phú Quốc is word-famous for two surprising amounts of traditional products - black pepper and 'nước mắm'"?

The final problem in this paragraph is "những đồng tiền xu bé tí tẹo," which makes me confused. I couldn't know what this noun phrase refer to, even though I consider it as "đồng xu hạt tiêu!?" Therefore, the only way I choose in this case is word-for-word translation. However, I wonder why the author translates it as "itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny coins." "Itsy-bitsy," "teeny," and "weeny" have the same meening (very small), so I think we may choose one of these words for translating this noun phrase as "teeny coins" or "weeny coins".

-------------------------

Comment 02

Vietnamese Paragraph:
(From The Tuoi Tre)
Niềm vui lĩnh được tấm bằng cử nhân còn chưa nguôi thì nhiều người trong số những sinh viên mới ra trường bị tạt ngay những gáo nước lạnh khi đi xin việc.
Tuy nhiên, có công ty lại ưu tiên cho sinh viên mới ra trường.
Vậy có hay không lợi thế của những người như họ?

English Version:
The happiness of receiving a B.A certificate was still calmed down, many among newly graduated students would be snooped by cold water while applying for the job.
However, there have been companies even paying special priority to them. So are there any advantages of such these men?

-------------------------

After reading this paragraph, I strongly focus on the first sentence "Niềm vui lĩnh được tấm bằng cử nhân còn chưa nguôi thì nhiều người trong số những sinh viên mới ra trường bị tạt ngay những gáo nước lạnh khi đi xin việc." It sounds Vietnamese when the author translates "bị tạt ngay những gáo nước lạnh khi đi xin việc" into English as "be snooped by cold water while applying for the job." This is word-for-word translation.
I think that we should use the word "shock" in this case, because "bị tạt ngay những gáo nước lạnh khi đi xin việc" means "bị bất ngờ và đau đớn vì không xin được việc làm." So I suggest to translate this sentence as "many among newly graduated students would be shocked when applying for the job" in English.

honghieuspa1 said...

nguyen hong hieu
7044732
Core text:
Viet Nam natural’s beauty paragraph 49 page 43
Reading this paragraph I have some interesting things to comment
First sentence in English version, the writer describe the quality and location of muont Fan si Pan. He talk that it is the highest mountain in Indochina fisrt, then he talk about its height. However in Vietnamese version he talk about the height first and then he talk about the location. He use phares “is located in Lao Cai” that mean it is in Lao Cai. If he use word belong to mean thuoc ve in Vietnamese, the sentence would not have good meaning like using word is located to talk about the location of this moutain.
Second sentence, he used loftiest peak to show that he moutain is the highest moutain in Indochina, but he used word loftiest instead of the word highest to avoid using the word highest again. Though it is the highest moutain in Viet Nam, peole have ability to reach it. The writer use is quite accessible to help reader know about that ability.
Third sentence, one more time the write use word to avoid using the word that he used before. in this sentence he use word summit instead of the word peak mean the top of the mountain.When he talk about Sa Pa, he used Sa Pa, a popular destination, this well use help reader to think about the popular place that attract many tourists. a
In fourth sentence, the writer descibe the beauty of this place as the beauty of picture in pharse picturesque landscape, it is really wonderful. In Fan Si Pan moutain, we can enjoy the beauty of many steeply terraced rice paddies that are cultivaetd by the Black H’Mong and other hill ethnic- minority groups. Those steeply terraced rice paddies seem to make the sight of this moutain is more and more beautiful.
in fifth sentence in English version, he use leaving villages and farms behind first, then we enter a forest grows on the granite slopes. However, in Vietnamese version he discribe that when people climb up, the high is more and more precipitious.



Additional text:

Vuong cac 120 bai luyen dich Viet Anh. chapter 3
Ngay xua, con nguoi khong duoc huong mot doi song de chiu va tien nghi nhu bay gio. Bi co doc o giua nhung tao hoa day bi mat. Ho luon khiep so giua nhung hien tuong ki quai va nhung tai uong tan khoc.
Vi khong hoc, ho nghi rang tat ca nhung phat hien kia do o su bien thien thinh linh cua nhung vi than kho tinh.
Ngay nay, chung ta khong no le tao hoa nua. Trai lai chung ta che ngu tao hoa, vi chung ta da ngay cang tim thay nhung bi mat cua thien nhien. Khoa hoc da cuong bach mat troi thanh mot nghe si phuc vu con nguoi. Khoa hoc da phat sinh ra may moc bien dem thanh ngay. Khoa hoc da keo dai doi song con nguoi.
The value of science
In ancient times, human beings did not enjoy a pleasant and comfotable life as of today. Being alone in a fully-masterous nature, they were always afraid of unusaual phenomena and terible catastrophes.
Without education (scientific knowledge), they thought that all of these phenomena were from a sudden transformation created by hard-tempered genuii.
Nowadays, we are no longer slaves of nature . On the contrary; we can dominate it, because we have discovered more and more of its mysteries. Science has compelled the sun to be an artist serving humans. Science has invented machines capable of changing night into day. Science helps man live longer.

Reading this passage I have some interesting things to coment:
First paragraph, in the first sentence, I think that the writer uses the phrase as of today is not good because a pleasant and comfortable life cannot go with the word of today or of ancient time, because the life is in the time not of the time I think that the sentence would be better if he used as of today instead as of today. The next sentence in Engkish version is equivalent with Vietnamese version.
in the second paragraph, in Vietnamese version the writer just use vi khong hoc, it does not give good meanig to reader like in English version, he explain more about the lacking of knowledge that is sciencetific not knowledge in general, and the next part of the sentence in both two versions are equivalent.
In the third paragraph, the writer used word dominate that give enough the meanig of che ngu in Vietnamese version. Besides, in the next sentence also have the equivalent word- compell mean cuong bach or bat buoc. In the next sentence, capable of mean the possibility of doing something, so the sentence help reader know about which development of science give advantage to human that is possibility of a machine that changing night into day. The next sentence in both version have same meaning and equivalent.

myxuyen said...

Vietnam’s Natural Beauty

Paragraph 97, page 78/79
Translation from one text to another text is not easy. It requires to have the equivalence between the two texts. Sometimes, the English version does not express all the meaning or the situation that Vietnamese one contains. We can see “nở rộ quanh năm” are translated by “bloom year round”. I think this is not convincing because “ bloom” just express the level of flowers that bloom normally but “nở rộ” must be more than. In addition, “quanh năm” are translated by “year round” is not suitable. It is the influence of Vietnamese style.
Moreover, I also wonder why translator use 2 words “chrysanthemum” and “daises” for “ hoa cuc”. Are they the same or or two kinds of the same species? I can not sure. Ingeneral, there are many details make me embarrassed. I feel that the translator used these words go a little far from the text. By anyway, I also like this English translation because this is rather creative. Thank to this version, I can know a lot of new words about flowers that I never know before such as Hoang Anh(Verge D’or), Mom Soi(Gueule)…etc. Most of them are strange words. Maybe I never these words if I do not waste time to check on dictionary. In addition, I feel that translator know how to choose words to express the ideas , do not rely on all the available meaning. For example, the passive idea “ rất nhiều loại…được đặt tên tiếng việt.” are translated into active way “have Vietnamese names” . I think this is very suitable.
So through the English translation, I feel interesting to this way because it makes me more convincing about the way of translation and help me to have more new words especially flowers species.

VIETNAMESE TEXT
Không nên báo thù
Một hôm một người hào phú co chuyện lôi thôi với một người thợ. Đang cơn tức giận, người hào phú lấy hòn đá ném người thợ. Người thợ nhặt hòn đá cất đi một chỗ, nghĩ bụng rằng : “thế nào cũng có lúc tao lấy hòn đá ném vào đầu mày”.
Cách ít lâu người hào phú chẳng may cửa nhà sa sút, của cải hét sạch phải đi ăn xin.
Một hôm, người thợ trông thấy ngừoi ấy ăn mặc rách rưới, đi qua trước cửa, vội vaqngf chạy đi lấy hòn đá định để ném lại. nhưng khi tay đã cầm hòn đá, anh ta lại nghĩ rằng: “ người ấy lúc còn giàu sang mà ta báo thù thi là dại, bây giò người ấy khổ sở mà ta báo thù thì là hèn. Thôi ta không nên báo thù”. Rồi quăng hòn đá xuống ao.

ENGLISH TEXT
We shouldn’t take revenge
One day a rich man has some trouble with a worker. In a fit of anger, the rich man take a stone and throw it at the worker. The worker picks up the stones and hides it in a place, saying to himself: “ I will surely have an occasion to throw it at your head some day.”
Not long after, the rich man unfortunatedly becomes bankrupt and has to go begging.
One day, the worker see the one-time rich man, dressed in rag walk past the former’s house, the worker is in a hurry to get the stone with the intension of throwing it at the man. But when the stone is in his hand, he thinks to himself: “If I had taken revenge when the man was rich, I would have been unwise, now the man is miserable, I I take ravenge myself on him, I am a coward. No, I should not take revenge”. Then, he throws the stone into a pond nearby.

My comment
The first thing make me wonder is that there is the difference between 2 titles: “ không nên báo thù” and “ we shouldn’t take revenge”. Maybe, the English version is clearlier than the Vietnamese text because it shows that who will controll the action. Frequently, translation from Vietnamese text into another text always influence Vietnaese way. We can see from the beginning to the end, the version is rather smooth but also sound Vietnamese such as “người hào phú lấy hòn đá ném người thợ” are translated into “the rich man take a stone and throws it at the worker”. In addition, I think the translator using words is not equivalent to express the ideas. “cửa nhà sa sút, của cải hết sạch” are replaced by just “ bankrupt”. I wonder whether it is correct to use just bankrupt.
However, there are some good point that I can recognize from this translation. Firstly, choosing words sound suitably such as “rich man= người hao phú”, or “người thợ=worker”. Secondly, translator is dood in using structure “If Clause” to translate while Vietnamese one does not have. It makes the sentence become clearer and also show that there are the result and the cause. Finally, in Vietnamese sentence : “ rồi quăng hòn đá xuống ao”. We can see this is not have enough mainly components of a sentence. In English, we can see “he throws a stone into a pond nearby”. This is the skillfulness of the translator. He makes the sentence clearer and easy to understand. In addition, he can confirm that the pond nearby, an exact position for readers to imagine the picture.
Through this one, I also get some experiences that is: translation will be good if the translator know correct the situation and how to make the readers go through with the situation interestingly and effectively

LÊ THỊ MỸ XUYÊN(7044746)
CLASS 01
Email: smallduck_nicesmallduck@yahoo.com

hac............ said...

HUYNH TO NUONG
Class 1
My email address: jennyhuynha16@yahoo.com

Paragraph 61 on page 53:

In the first sentence of the translated text I can see one important point. That is the translator’s word choice. In the original text, the author used “di san” which does not mean “go hunting”. The translator cleverly used “go birding” which means “go and see birds” instead of “go hunting” because in reality, the government did not allow us to hunt endanged animals.
There are 2 unnecessary ideas in the English text. They are “just before the park gates” and “in the late afternoon” because the author did not mention these ideas in the original one.

Further reading:

“Mot trong nhung cai minh nghi la can phai doi moi cach suy nghi, phai sang tao hon bao quat hon, co tam nhin hon. Mot trong nhung yeu kem hien nay la minh tu ti qua. Bat ki mot van de gi minh cung hay co mot loi mon qua, trong khi do, dung ra minh can phai lat nguoc van de, thu giai quyet theo nhieu kieu khac nhau.

We have to renovate our way of thinking into a more creative, embracing and broader one. One of the present weak points is our inferior feeling and one-sided thinking. We often use the same or available solutions to any problem we face. Meanwhile, we ought to reverse that problem and try to solve it by different ways.”

The translated text isn’t good and sounds Vietnames. The translator used many words inappropriately which should be rewitten.
The first sentence should be “we have to improve our way of thinking which is made up of overall, creative and realistic viewpoint”.
There needn’t be “present” because we use the simple present and the readers can understand.
“inferior feeling” is inappropriate because the author meant “self confidence”.
I don’t agree with “often” because it has been traditional. So, it should be “traditionally”
One serious mistake is the verb “reverse”. It should be “we ought to analyse and solve the problem we face by different ways”.

hac............ said...

HUYNH TO NUONG
Class 1
My email address: jennyhuynha16@yahoo.com

Paragraph 61 on page 53:

In the first sentence of the translated text I can see one important point. That is the translator’s word choice. In the original text, the author used “di san” which does not mean “go hunting”. The translator cleverly used “go birding” which means “go and see birds” instead of “go hunting” because in reality, the government did not allow us to hunt endanged animals.
There are 2 unnecessary ideas in the English text. They are “just before the park gates” and “in the late afternoon” because the author did not mention these ideas in the original one.

Further reading:

“Mot trong nhung cai minh nghi la can phai doi moi cach suy nghi, phai sang tao hon bao quat hon, co tam nhin hon. Mot trong nhung yeu kem hien nay la minh tu ti qua. Bat ki mot van de gi minh cung hay co mot loi mon qua, trong khi do, dung ra minh can phai lat nguoc van de, thu giai quyet theo nhieu kieu khac nhau.

We have to renovate our way of thinking into a more creative, embracing and broader one. One of the present weak points is our inferior feeling and one-sided thinking. We often use the same or available solutions to any problem we face. Meanwhile, we ought to reverse that problem and try to solve it by different ways.”

The translated text isn’t good and sounds Vietnames. The translator used many words inappropriately which should be rewitten.
The first sentence should be “we have to improve our way of thinking which is made up of overall, creative and realistic viewpoint”.
There needn’t be “present” because we use the simple present and the readers can understand.
“inferior feeling” is inappropriate because the author meant “self confidence”.
I don’t agree with “often” because it has been traditional. So, it should be “traditionally”
One serious mistake is the verb “reverse”. It should be “we ought to analyse and solve the problem we face by different ways”.

Phan Thang said...

Phan Việt Thắng
Email: phanvietthangctu@gmail.com
7044739
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty.
Paragraph 27 (Lăng Cô Beach)

Comments
This is, in my opinion, a very good translation piece. The paragraph was translated very smooth, short enough, understandable and still professional.
By recognizing that the first sentence mentions different information about Lăng Cô Beach’s length and location, the translator intelligently used relative clause that is very suitable. Let’s examine:
“Lăng Cô Beach, which is ten kilometers long, borders Highway 1A and is near Hải Vân Pass.”
In the Vietnamese version the author used “chiều dài” as a noun. When translating into English, the translator used “long” as an adjective, but it still remains the same idea and makes the sentence different in style. That’s the first good point.
It’s also very good when the translator used the phrase “Stork Village” to modify for “Lăng Cô” because Vietnamese know well what “Làng Cò” means, but other readers may not know.
In the last sentence, amateur translators may translate the phrase “làm cho Lăng Cô trở thành 1 bãi tắm lý tưởng cho các gia đình” into “make Lăng Cô become an ideal swimming beach for families”. It seems okay, but not very stylish, normal and Vietnamese-like. Instead of that, our translator shortened the phrase by using noun phrases, keeping the same meaning. Let’s have a look at this phrase:
“make Lăng Cô ideal for family swims”. The translator avoided word –for –word translating.
I just see one problem on the phrase “fishing village” that the translator used. “Fishing” does not fit the meaning of “chài lưới” in Vietnamese. However, it is tolerable. And here, the translator might have forgotten to emphasize that this is a “well-know fishing village, not a normal fishing village, as the Vietnamese version tells us.
---------------------------------------------------------
Part 2.
• Vietnamese text
“Thật không dễ dàng đối với các bậc cha mẹ khi nhận biết con mình đau thật sự và khi nào thì cần đưa đến bác sĩ. Hơn nữa bố mẹ thường lo lắng rằng có nên đưa bé đi khám bác sĩ không, và sự lo lắng về bé là vô căn cứ. Mặc dù rất thông cảm, bác sĩ cũng nhận ra sự phán xét về sức khỏe của bé là do bố mẹ, vậy nên bạn hãy tin vào những quan sát của chính mình, và hãy đưa bé đến bác sĩ khám khi bạn thấy cần thiết.”
• English text
“It is not very easy for a parent to know when his or her child is truly ill and in need of a doctor’s attention. In addition, parents worry that they will be bothering the doctor unnecessarily and that their anxiety for their child is unfounded. Although this is understandable, doctors have long been convinced that the best judge of a child’s health is the parents so be confident in your own observations and go to the doctor when you feel it necessary.”
• Comments:
At first, we can say that the paragraph was translated very well. The English version is very easy for readers to understand. The translator did not use many complex words, partly because of the familiarly of the text. That helps readers not to be confused while reading. However, not because of that the translation piece lacks of its originality.
Then, the translator did well on the word choice. For example, I think, the word “bothering” is used very original. In comparison with the Vietnamese source text, the English phrase is not very equivalent, but the meaning is remained idiomatically,
“Bố mẹ thường lo lắng rằng có nên đưa bé đi khám bác sĩ không….”
And “ Parents worry that they will be bothering the doctor unnecessary…”
That the translator changed the way of translating is suitable because the Vietnamese phrase is so ambiguous. “ Đi khám bác sĩ” means going to see the doctor for some treatment, not to check the doctor’s health. The translator avoided translating word- for- word that would have some problems in meaning.
Using nouns instead of verbs is also a good way to translate. Here, the translator write “in need of a doctor’s attention” idiomatically meaning that “need to go to see a doctor” like in the Vietnamese phrase, “cần đưa đến bác sĩ”.
Another original choice is the word “judge”. The translator used this word to express the idea that parents are only ones who know clearly about their children’s illness. Once again, the above translation piece could be considered as much idiomatic as it can be, but it is good and acceptable.