Monday, September 24, 2007

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tien said...

Book: Vieät Nam’s Natural Beauty Page 12.

Vietnamese text:
Vôùi bôø bieån traûi daøi 3.000km töø baõi bieån Traø Coå cuûa tænh Quaûng Ninh ôû phía Bắc ñeán muõi Caø Mau ôû phía Cöïc Nam, Vieät Nam coù nhieàu đñaûo, vònh vaø baõi bieån, bao goàm nhöøng nôi heûo laùnh va laõng maïn vaø nhöõng nôi noåi tieáng vaø soâi ñoäng. Nhöõng baõi bieån ñöôïc öa thích laø Traø Coå, Haï Long, Baõi Chaùy, Ñoà Sôn, Caûnh Döông, Laêng Coâ, Non Nöôùc, Ñai Laõnh, Nha Trang, Muõi Neù, Hoøn Rôm vaø Vuõng Taøu.
English text:
Viet Nam’s 3,000-kilometre coastline stretches from Traø Coå Beach in the northern province of Quaûng Ninh to Caø Mau cape in Viet Nam’s southern-most province of Ca Mau and includes islands, bays, and beaches that range from the secluded and romantic to the popular and sporty. The favorite beaches are: Traø Coå, Haï Long, Baõi Chaùy, Ñoà Sôn, Caûnh Döông, Laêng Coâ, Non Nöôùc, Ñaïi Laõnh, Nha Trang, Muõi Neù, Hoøn Rôm and Vuõng Taøu.

Comments:
In general, the English translation kept Vietnamese text’s main ideas. The translation is also easy to understand and attracts readers by its clear style. The word “vôùi” is used to begin the 1st sentence in source language, however, the translator does not follow it because it is unnecessary to translate “vôùi” into English. On the other hand, he adds “Vietnam” at the beginning to make the sentence more smooth and ornate. Moreover, I suppose that “vôùi bôø bieån traûi daøi 3000 k m töø baõi bieån Traø Coå cuûa tænh Quaûng Ninh ôû phía Baéc ñeán muõi Caø Mau cuûa tænh Caø Mau ôû phía cöïc Nam” is a phrase but then the translator changes it into clause in target language.so, it is a creativity of the author. However, the sentence “Vietnam coù nhieàu ñaûo, vònh, vaø baõi bieån, bao goàm nhöõng nôi heûo laùnh vaø laõng maïn vaø nhöõng nôi noåi tieáng vaø soâi ñoäng” makes me confused. By the way, I can not confirm whether the phrase “bao goàm nhöõng nôi heûo laùnh vaø laõng maïn modifies “baõi bieån” like the English translation or not. In addition, unlike Vietnamese style, the colon in English can not appear as a signal of listing a lot of places like in the text. In conclusion, the translation is good and persuasive with the ideas and word-choice. However, let me have a chance to give a translation:
“Thanks to 3,000-kilometre stretching coastline from Traø Coå Beach in the northern province of Quaûng Ninh to Caø Mau cape in Vietnam’s southern-most province of Caø Mau, Vietnam has a lot of islands, bays, and beaches that include remote and romantic areas and popular and sporty ones. The favorite beaches are Traø Coå, Haï Long, Baõi Chaùy, Ñoà Sôn, Caûnh Döông, Laêng Coâ, Non Nöôùc, Ñaïi Laõnh, Nha Trang, Muõi Neù, Hoøn Rôm and Vuõng taøu.

Book: 120 baøi luyeän dòch vieät-anh page 57 & 58

TÍNH CAÅN THAÄN

Vietnamese text:
Ngöôøi ta ôû ñôøi laøm coâng vieäc gì, duø khoân kheùo ñeán ñaâu, neáu sô yù moät tí, thì e raèng hö hoûng heát. Caàm moät cheùn nöôùc laø moät vieäc raát nhoû vaø deã, nhöng neáu tay caàm khoâng caån thaän thì nhôõ ra bò vaáp, bò tröôït coù theå vôõ caû cheùn.
Huoáng chi vieäc ñôøiùi laém noåi eo heïp, khoù khaên, coù deã daøng, nheï nhaøng nhö caàm cheùn nöôùc ñaâu.

CAREFULNESS

English text:
When doing anything in this life, no matter how clever and skillful we may be, with only a slight negligence, we might fail. Holding a cup of water is a very small and easy thing, yet if your hands didn’t hold it carefully, the water in the cup might ripple and spill out; walking with careless steps, you might stumble or slip and even break the cup.
More especially, life is full of asperities and difficulties, not as easy ansd light as holding a cup of water.
Comments:

Beside some good points, the target language also contains a few bad points. Firstly, in the 1st sentence, instead of using “People” or “We” to replace “Ngöôøi ta” at the beginning of Vietnamese text, the author keeps and puts it later so that the translation can be smoother and becomes better. In addition, the using of structure “no matter how + adjective…” as well as the exact use of word “negligence” shows the skillfulness of the translator. However, I think the translator is so careful that he translates word to word. For example, “Caàm moät cheùn nöôùc laø moät vieäc raát nhoû vaø deã”, then, he translates “Holding a cup of water is a very small and easy thing”. In my opinion, it will be better with “holding a cup of water is a very small and easy action”. And if I were the translator, I would say “But if you held it carelessly” than “yet if your hands didn’t hold it carefully”. Moreover, why do the author add more idea “the water in the cup might ripple and spill out” although it is not mentioned in the source language. Should or should not we add more ideas when doing translating like that? Back to the 1st sentence, “anything” should be changed into “something” which is more suitable. By the way, my translation is:
“When doing something in this life, no matter how clever and skillful we may be, with only a slight negligence, we might fail. Holding a cup of water is a very small and easy action, but if you held it carelessly, you might stumble or slip or even break the cup.
More especially, life is full of asperities and difficulties, not as easy and light as holding a cup of water”.

Tien 7044742

tien8721@yahoo.com

Duy said...

Assignment Week 3 – Paragraph 92 – Page 75

This translation is neutral. I mean in some details, it is good and in other details, it is not. My comments are about to tell the good ones first and the ungood later.

The first translated sentence shows the word-shoosing-skill of the translater. In the Vietnamese original paragraph, the writer used the word “gọi là “Thành phố của mùa xuân bất tử”. If I were the translater, I will used the word “be called” instead of “be referred” as the real translater did. At first, I felt rather strange because “referred” is not related somehow to “gọi”. However, after reading carefully, I discovered that, using “referred” here is better and more English. It is more professional of course. The second sentence was another example of word-choosing-skill. “The rainy season FALLS between …” is really nice. By using the word “falls”, the translater had vanish the fence between the original and translated pharagraph.

Secondly, the translater also knows where the form should be changed. The clause “Lượng mưa trung bình hàng năm là 1.755m” was changed into a phrase “with an average annual rainfall of 1.755m” between two commas. It was really a smart choice. The translater would like to reduce the unneccessary length of the text. He is also very skillful because of no repeatation. When he wanted to infer “mùa khô là từ tháng…”, he did not use the word “falls” again. It shows that he was very careful in translating.

However, sometimes, the translater still had some problem in changing the Vietnamese into English. For example, the word “núi đồi” in the 4th paragraph. This is such a compound noun in vietnamese that means mountains and hills. But the translater just used the word mountain. Moreover, he had over simplified. That the “light mist” “làm mầu mỡ những cánh đồng dưới thung lũng”. Using “fetile valley field” did not seem to be acceptable here.

However, in general, the translater did good job. He made the translated paragraph more English. I feel it is really good, touchable and somehow catchy.

Further reading

Không bao lâu sau thời khắc đặc biệt ấy, cha tôi may mắn thoát khỏi tay tử thần sau một ca phẫu thuật tim. Kể từ đấy, nhiều lần tôi tự nhắn nhủ với lòng rằng: “Nếu lần ấy tôi không chủ động nói với cha và cha không qua được ca phẫu thuật, thì chắc tôi sẽ phải hối hận vì chẳng còn cơ hội nào để tôi được “nghe thấy” một tình yêu.”

A short while after this special moment, my father fortunately escaped death following heart surgery. Many times since, I have pondered the thought, if that time I did not take the first step and Dad did not survive the surgery, maybe I extremely regret because I would have never “heard” the love.

This is not a good stranslation selection with bad word choice and bad structure forming. The term “thoát khỏi tay tử thần sau ca phẩu thuật tim” was translated into “escaped death following heart surgery”. The word “escaped” itself means run away from something. The father in this situation can not run away from the death. It’s better to use “survive” instead. I discover one more bad point, that is “survive the surgery”. The term seem to be non-sense. No one say “survive the surgegy” for “qua được ca phẫu thuật”. However, this is a rather touchy story. If you follow all the path of it, the translation selection can be acceptable.

Phạm Trần Thanh Duy - 7044730 - EE01C30

linhda said...

Tra Co Beach (paragraph 5, page 13)
Here my comment:
The content of translation reading paragraph is about Tra Co Beach - the small peninsula in Quaûng Ninh Province. When I read it, I found it good translation. One point that I like in this translation is the translator keeps the same number of sentences and some structures as in the Vietnamese one’s. For example, one or two first words in each sentence are also the first ones in the original ones such as “Tra Co” in both two translation paragraph, “Residents of small village” in the English paragraph and “cö daân cuûa nhöõng laøng nhoû” in the Vietnamese one. And the way in which the translator broke the sentence is in the same one in Vietnamese reading. For instance, in the second sentence, “Baõi bieån Traø Coå.......Hoøn Ngoïc, vôùi nhöõng ñuïn caùt....ñöôùc” while the translator translated “its seventeen.....(Pearl Cape), with..... mangroves”. I suppose this using way is ok. And in the first sentence, apposition was used successfully by the translator
Besides, the translator is also successful in choosing words. Some words were used exactly like “sand dunes” or “Tra Co accommodates”
However, if I were the translator, I would change a little bit in word choice. The first case is the word “Flock”. I know that “flock” sometimes means “gather”, but it is better in using for some animals like bird. For people in general, we should use “gather” instead of “flock”. Another one is the word “Boast”. I think that this word has negative meaning. If we want to talk about some places’ beauty, we should try another word or expression like ‘It is (Tra Co) is famous for............”
Here are my ideas about the reading’s structure. There are still some ways of using unreasonable words. In the second sentence, we can make it shorten by this way “its seventeen- kilos meter beaches stretching.....mangroves”. And in the third sentence, we should consider the order of it. In stead of “residents of small villages dotting............” we can say “residents of the small dotting village”


Extra activity:
Khoâng theå phuû nhaän veà thaønh töïu phaùt trieån cuûa Vieät Nam trong 5 naêm vöøa qua, ñaëc bieät laø veà caùc chæ soá phaùt trieån kinh teá nhöng caùc baïn haõy nhìn sang nöôùc laùng gieàng laø trung quoác- hoï ñang phaùt trieån raát nhanh choùng. Do ñoù, naêm 2003 cuûa Vieät Nam vieäc ñaåy nhanh toác ñoä phaùt trieån kinh teá hôn nöõa thì raát khoù ruùt ngaén ñöôïc khoûang caùch giöõa Vieät Nam vaø caùc nöôùc trong khu vöïc cuõng nhö treân theá giôùi.

It’simpossible to deny the acheivement in development of Viet Nam last year, especially the indices of economic development. Hower, please have a look at our neighbor country China. It is under rapid development. As a result, if Viet Nam doesn’t speed up the economic growth in 2003, it’s very hard to shorten the gap between Viet Nam and other countries in the region as well as in the world.



Here My comment:

First of all, it seems that the translator translated word by word from Vietnamese to English although the general meaning is still kept in two paragraphs. And in the English translated paragrapgh, there are a lot spelling mistakes such as “It’simpossible” it’s impossible, “achievement” achievement, and “hower” however. Moreover, the translator’s word choice is not very suitable and the word’s arrangement is not reasonable. For instance, the translator used “Please have a look”. I think this case is in formal situation, and “please” is too informal to use. The translators have translated wrong ideas in the original one. In the original one, they wrote “hoï ñang phaùt trieån raát nhanh choùng”, however, “It is under rapid development” that has opposite meaning. In addition, i think that it will be better if we use “Therefore” instead of “as a result”.
Anyway, it is also a good translation!

myxuyen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
trang said...

NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7O44743
nmtrang@gmail.com

Paraph 10 Page 15

First of all , I wonder why the translator links two first sentences from the source text into one in English translation . I disagree when the translator translate the sentence “ Nhiệt độ trung bình hàng năm ở Trà Cổ là 22,7oC ” into “ Trà Cổ’s average annual temperature of 22.7oC ”. In this phrase , arrangement of adjectives “ average ” and “ annual ” is not correct . “ Annual ” should stand before “ average ”. I think it should be translated into a sentence , not noun phrase . Because , if it is a noun phrase , readers will misunderstand that it is one of the subjects of verb phrase “ khiến cho nơi đây là một nơi phát triển đầy hứa hẹn ”. From the source text , we can recognize that the phrase of “ cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên của Trà Cổ còn giữ được nguyên vẻ hoang sơ ” is the subject of this verb phrase . In my opinion , the first sentence should be translated like that : Trà Cổ’s annual average temperature is 22.7oC .
I like the way that the translator uses noun phrase in the English translation such as : “ its secluded location away from the bustle of ports ” and “ its unspoiled natural beauty ”. The translation is good to translate the sentence of “ cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên của Trà Cổ còn giữ được nguyên vẻ hoang sơ ” into a noun phrase but have the same meaning . This is good because it makes the translation become shorter . But I confuse with the adjective “ unspoiled ” because it is usually used for person .
I think the phrase of “ một nơi phát triển đầy hứa hẹn ” means “ một nơi có tiềm năng phát triển ”. We do not need translate the word “ hứa hẹn ” into “promising ”. “ Promising ” is used for person . Therefore , I think the phrase “ a promising site for development ” should be changed into “ a site of potential development ”.
I disagree with the translator when he translate the word “ đường biển ” into “ water ”. According to me , this word should be translated into “sea ”.







ÂM NHẠC

Âm nhạc là một trong các môn cần dùng trong sự giáo dục của một dân tộc văn minh. Không nói gì ở các nước Âu Châu người ta chú trọng đến âm nhạc trong khi dạy dỗ dân chúng; ngay bên Á đông mình, thánh hiền xưa cũng dành cho âm nhạc một địa vị quan trọng ngang với văn chương và chính trị .
Người là một giống có tình cảm. Lòng người luôn luôn bị ngoại vật khích động làm cho vui buồn,mừng giận bất thường.Những lúc trong lòng rạo rực ấy, người ta hay ca hát để gởi vào âm điệu du dương cái tâm sự tràn ngập của mình.
Âm nhạc do lẽ cần thiết ấy mà sinh ra.

Lan khai

Bài dịch
MUSIC


Music is one the subjects necessary for the education of a civilized people. Without speaking of European countries where people attach much important to music while teaching men; in our very East Asia, the saints and sages of yore reserved an important position for it on the same footing as literature and politics.
Man is sentimental creature. His heart is often affected by external things which make him abnormaly merry, sad, happy or angry. In these exciting moments, he usually sings so as to express his exuberant confidence vinto melodious musical sounds.
From this cause of necessity, music has been created.

**********************************

In the first sentence, I think the translator should use the structure “ be one of ” It means “ một trong những ” in Vietnamese. “ Music is one of the subject… ”. In source text , we have the phrase “ dân tộc văn minh ”. It includes two words: “ dân tộc ” and “ văn minh ”. We do not need to divide this noun phrase into two words when translating into English “ civilized people ” because in English we have one word which has meaning of “ dân tộc văn minh ”. This is “ civilization ”.
In the next sentence, I disagree when the translator translates the phrase “không nói gì ” into “ without speaking of ”. This is word by word translation. I think we can use structure “ not only…but also ” to link two clauses of this sentence and it also has the same meaning with the one in source text. “ Người ta chú trọng đến âm nhạc ” means “ người ta xem âm nhạc rất quan trọng ” or “ âm nhạc đóng vai trò rất quan trọng ”. “ Attach ” means “ be fond of ”. So it is not suitable in this situation. I think we should use structure of “ music plays an important role ” instead of “ people attach much importance to music ”. And the phrase “ dạy dỗ dân chúng ” which is translated into “ teaching men ” should be changed into another term. Although in the source text, the author writes “ dạy dỗ dân chúng ”, we should not translate word by word. We should understand the meaning and use a term which has the same meaning with the words in the source. According to me I use “ teaching ” or “ education ”. We do not need use the word “ men ” but we can also understand. And we should use preposition “ in ” before “ teaching ” or “ education ” in stead of conjunction “ while ”. “Not only in European countries , does music play an important in teaching , but in East Asia , the saints and sages of yore also reserved an important position for it…”
The translator is good to use passive of verb “ affect ” when he translates the word “ khích động ”. I think we can also use the word “ influence ” in this situation.
I wonder why the translator translates the phrase “ tâm sự tràn ngập ” into “exuberant confidence ”. They have different meaning. I think we should use another phrase which has the same meaning such as “ every thing in the mind ”.

trang said...

Paragraph 101, page 80-81

In general, this paragraph describes the Xuan Huong Lake in Dalat. In the paragraph, the author has flexible and appropriate use of vocabulary as well as structures; however, some places should be changed or replaced in term of vocabulary and so forth. Let consider and analyse each sentence, we will see that.
In the first sentence, I like the way the author use landmark replacing for ‘thang canh’ because ‘thang canh’ often inicates to the broad view of the scene. But, in this context, Xuan Huong Lake is a famous place and point where attracts the visitor. So, using ‘landmark’ is appropriate in this context. The next scentence, the author expressed successfully the phrase ‘voi hinh ang manh trang luoi liem’ into English ‘shaped like a crescent moon’. In my opinion, however, the phrase ‘shaped…moon’ shoul be put after the word ‘lake’ to modify and clearify the meaning of ‘lake’. The other one, the author is also good at choosing word. I am so surprised when he use ‘rendezvous’ to show the full meaning of ‘noi ho hen’. However, in this context, the word ‘boulevard’ is not suitable. It had better be ‘avenue’ because the context implied that the road had two tree lines in two side of the road so ‘avenue’ shoul be prior to use. As a result, the sentence should be rewritten: ‘Its clear water together with the surrounding two-side tree-lined avenues make the park become a favourite rendezvous for lovers’. I use ‘together with’ here means clear water and the avenues has the same position in making the park more attractive. Neither the clear water nor the avenues are higher than the other. For the last sentence, in my idea, ‘cau ca’ and ‘di thuyen ap nuoc…nha hang chung quanh ho’ are popular pastime of Dalat’s people. So, this sentence should be changed the structure a little. For instant, ‘ fishing which is considered as riding pedal boat and relaxing with a drink or a delicious meal in one of the many cafes and restaurants around the lake is a popular recreation of Dalat’s people.


Optional paragraph: Vinh Ha Long
Vinh Ha Long la mot nhom dao co gan 3000 dao da tu nhien uon minh nhu nhung con rong nam. Moi ao co hinh thu khac nhau nhu dao ‘Ga Choi’ giong nhu hai con ga trong dang choi nhau, nui Bai Tho noi vua Le Thanh Tong cho khac nhung bai tho tren vach da nam 1468, cac hang dong ay nhung thach nhu xoay oc voi hinh dang kha sinh dong. Moi hang dong mang mot truyen thuyet dac biet nhu hang Dau Go, hang Trinh Nu, hang Sung Sot v.v… Tat ca nhung thang canh muon hinh van trang nay kha hap dan doi voi du khach. Ban dem, Vinh Ha Long tro nen huyen ao duoi mang luoi tinh tu va anh sang den nhieu mau sac cua nhung chiec tau thuy bo neo ngoai xa.
Bai dich:
The Landing Dragon bay is a group of islands consisting of nearly 3000 natural stone islands winding as lying dragon. Each of them is in different shape such as: the Frighting Cock island that looks like two cock fighting, the Poem mountain where King Le Thanh Tong had his poem engraved on the stone walls in 1468, the caves full of winding stalactictes with quite lively shapes. Each cave bears a specific legend such as Dau Go cave, the Virgin (Trinh nu) cave, the Flabbergasting (Sung sot) cave etc…All diversiform beauty-spots are quite attractive to every visitors. At night, the Ha Long bay becomes subtle uner the net of stars an the multicoloured lights from many ships anchoring distantly.

Comment
In general, this tralation version is not quite good. The author translated it word-by-word. So it is not advisable for the readers to read it. Another point is the proper names in the context should be kept, not try to translate all into English; because they are proper names of the famous and special landmarks in Ha Long bay. We can not encounter them in the rest parts of the world. This is also important that the translator should not change the proper names because they will reflect the Vietnames culture. If he or she change, maybe he/she lost this culture. Besides, the author oes not use the puntuation exactly. For example, after ‘etc’, he should use one comma ‘.’ but in the text there are 3 commas after ‘etc’.
The first sentence should rewrite. In my opinion, it should be ‘The Ha Long bay consists of more than 3000 natural stone islands and islets arranged windingly alike lying dragons’. In the new one, we do not repeat the ‘island’ twice. In the former, using ‘group of islands’ of the author is right, but I use verb ‘consist of’ also indicate that Ha Long bay is a group of islands and that way helps me to advoid using word repetition.
The next sentence in the origin is quite comlex because it is quite long and includes many phrases. So, the best way is that I will devide it into two or more sentence replacing just one. Because long sentence makes the readers tired when reading. So I can translate ‘Each island has their own shape. Ga Choi looks like two cocks fighting. Bai tho mountain is shaped by engraving the King Le Thanh Tong’s poems on the mountain cliff in 1468 by his order. Or, the caves are full of lively winding stalactics.’
The following sentence has the same problem that the author tries to translate the proper names, for instance, ‘Trinh nu’ or ‘sung sot’. In my opinion, these proper names should be kept. With the translated version, it is acceptable but it will be clearer if after ‘each cave’, the author should give examples. This means that there are some things modify for ‘each cave’. ‘Each cave as Dau Go, Trinh nu, or Sung sot or etc has their own historical legend.’
The next sentence, I think the sentence should rewrite in passive form instead of using active, because it will be better and can emphasize the beauty of the nature in Ha Long Bay to visitor. To me, it should be ‘The visitors are attracted by all of the diversified beauty spots in Ha Long Bay’. I add ‘in Ha Long bay’ in order to make clear for the readerd.
For the last sentence, I will change the translated sentence a little ‘under the star net and from colorful lights of the boats and ships anchored afar the land make Ha Long bay become visionary at night’. This way is clearer and better. It describes the beauty of Ha Long bay at ngiht and using preposition phrase as the subject can emphasize the Bay beuaty.

Le Viet Thu
7044741
EE01C30
jennythu@gmail.com

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh, SPAV 01 K30, 7044734

Viet Nam's Natural Beauty, text 73

What I agree:
The first sentence is a complex sentence but translator can use the relative pronoun to break it into 2 parts, it'll make readers easy to understand. The word "gom" is translated as "contains" is better than "has". The phrase "neu di bang o to" is replaced by the noun "the drive" makes the sentence more simple. And "passes through" can illustrate the action of going inside the hills and mountains. With the word "sung so", I'll translate as "amazing", but the writer uses "breathtaking", it sounds like "the tourists feel breathless when first seeing the scenery". So, I think "breathtaking" is better and more suitable.
What I don't agree:
The word "of" in the first sentence should be "from" to talk about the distance between two places. The second sentence, I'll translate as "Arriving by helicopter at Con Son Island, the largest in the archipelago, visitors will be greeted by rich tropical forests, long white beaches, and coral reefs" instead of putting "rich tropical forests, long white beaches, and coral reefs" at the begining because this way can make readers confused and have to read the whole sentence to understand. And the word "doi nui" should be "hills and mountains", not only "hills".

thu said...

Paragraph 101, page 80-81

In general, this paragraph describes the Xuan Huong Lake in Dalat. In the paragraph, the author has flexible and appropriate use of vocabulary as well as structures; however, some places should be changed or replaced in term of vocabulary and so forth. Let consider and analyse each sentence, we will see that.
In the first sentence, I like the way the author use landmark replacing for ‘thang canh’ because ‘thang canh’ often inicates to the broad view of the scene. But, in this context, Xuan Huong Lake is a famous place and point where attracts the visitor. So, using ‘landmark’ is appropriate in this context. The next scentence, the author expressed successfully the phrase ‘voi hinh ang manh trang luoi liem’ into English ‘shaped like a crescent moon’. In my opinion, however, the phrase ‘shaped…moon’ shoul be put after the word ‘lake’ to modify and clearify the meaning of ‘lake’. The other one, the author is also good at choosing word. I am so surprised when he use ‘rendezvous’ to show the full meaning of ‘noi ho hen’. However, in this context, the word ‘boulevard’ is not suitable. It had better be ‘avenue’ because the context implied that the road had two tree lines in two side of the road so ‘avenue’ shoul be prior to use. As a result, the sentence should be rewritten: ‘Its clear water together with the surrounding two-side tree-lined avenues make the park become a favourite rendezvous for lovers’. I use ‘together with’ here means clear water and the avenues has the same position in making the park more attractive. Neither the clear water nor the avenues are higher than the other. For the last sentence, in my idea, ‘cau ca’ and ‘di thuyen ap nuoc…nha hang chung quanh ho’ are popular pastime of Dalat’s people. So, this sentence should be changed the structure a little. For instant, ‘ fishing which is considered as riding pedal boat and relaxing with a drink or a delicious meal in one of the many cafes and restaurants around the lake is a popular recreation of Dalat’s people.


Optional paragraph: Vinh Ha Long
Vinh Ha Long la mot nhom dao co gan 3000 dao da tu nhien uon minh nhu nhung con rong nam. Moi ao co hinh thu khac nhau nhu dao ‘Ga Choi’ giong nhu hai con ga trong dang choi nhau, nui Bai Tho noi vua Le Thanh Tong cho khac nhung bai tho tren vach da nam 1468, cac hang dong ay nhung thach nhu xoay oc voi hinh dang kha sinh dong. Moi hang dong mang mot truyen thuyet dac biet nhu hang Dau Go, hang Trinh Nu, hang Sung Sot v.v… Tat ca nhung thang canh muon hinh van trang nay kha hap dan doi voi du khach. Ban dem, Vinh Ha Long tro nen huyen ao duoi mang luoi tinh tu va anh sang den nhieu mau sac cua nhung chiec tau thuy bo neo ngoai xa.
Bai dich:
The Landing Dragon bay is a group of islands consisting of nearly 3000 natural stone islands winding as lying dragon. Each of them is in different shape such as: the Frighting Cock island that looks like two cock fighting, the Poem mountain where King Le Thanh Tong had his poem engraved on the stone walls in 1468, the caves full of winding stalactictes with quite lively shapes. Each cave bears a specific legend such as Dau Go cave, the Virgin (Trinh nu) cave, the Flabbergasting (Sung sot) cave etc…All diversiform beauty-spots are quite attractive to every visitors. At night, the Ha Long bay becomes subtle uner the net of stars an the multicoloured lights from many ships anchoring distantly.

Comment
In general, this tralation version is not quite good. The author translated it word-by-word. So it is not advisable for the readers to read it. Another point is the proper names in the context should be kept, not try to translate all into English; because they are proper names of the famous and special landmarks in Ha Long bay. We can not encounter them in the rest parts of the world. This is also important that the translator should not change the proper names because they will reflect the Vietnames culture. If he or she change, maybe he/she lost this culture. Besides, the author oes not use the puntuation exactly. For example, after ‘etc’, he should use one comma ‘.’ but in the text there are 3 commas after ‘etc’.
The first sentence should rewrite. In my opinion, it should be ‘The Ha Long bay consists of more than 3000 natural stone islands and islets arranged windingly alike lying dragons’. In the new one, we do not repeat the ‘island’ twice. In the former, using ‘group of islands’ of the author is right, but I use verb ‘consist of’ also indicate that Ha Long bay is a group of islands and that way helps me to advoid using word repetition.
The next sentence in the origin is quite comlex because it is quite long and includes many phrases. So, the best way is that I will devide it into two or more sentence replacing just one. Because long sentence makes the readers tired when reading. So I can translate ‘Each island has their own shape. Ga Choi looks like two cocks fighting. Bai tho mountain is shaped by engraving the King Le Thanh Tong’s poems on the mountain cliff in 1468 by his order. Or, the caves are full of lively winding stalactics.’
The following sentence has the same problem that the author tries to translate the proper names, for instance, ‘Trinh nu’ or ‘sung sot’. In my opinion, these proper names should be kept. With the translated version, it is acceptable but it will be clearer if after ‘each cave’, the author should give examples. This means that there are some things modify for ‘each cave’. ‘Each cave as Dau Go, Trinh nu, or Sung sot or etc has their own historical legend.’
The next sentence, I think the sentence should rewrite in passive form instead of using active, because it will be better and can emphasize the beauty of the nature in Ha Long Bay to visitor. To me, it should be ‘The visitors are attracted by all of the diversified beauty spots in Ha Long Bay’. I add ‘in Ha Long bay’ in order to make clear for the readerd.
For the last sentence, I will change the translated sentence a little ‘under the star net and from colorful lights of the boats and ships anchored afar the land make Ha Long bay become visionary at night’. This way is clearer and better. It describes the beauty of Ha Long bay at ngiht and using preposition phrase as the subject can emphasize the Bay beuaty.

Le Viet Thu
7044741
EE01C30

hong said...

From “Funny story”
A merchant who had several clerks found that one of them was in the habit of coming late to the office. He warned him that this conduct would lead him into trouble, and told him that he had better mend his way. The clerk replied that the fault was not his, but that of his watch, which did not keep good time.
Một nhà buôn nọ có vài nhân viên bán hang,nhận thấy là một người có thói quen đi làm trễ. Ông cảnh báo ông ta rằng thái độ này sẽ đưa anh ta đền phiền phức và bảo rằng tốt hơn anh ta nên sửa đổi lề lối. Anh nhân trả lời rằng lỗi không phải do anh, nhưng do chiếc đồng hồ của anh chạy không đúng giờ.
Comment
Those paragraph is in funny story,so the writing style and using words are rather informal. Look at the first sentence, “vài nhân viên bàn hàng” is translated “several clerks”. “Several” is as not suitable so “some”, but “clerk” is reasonable because it keeps the meaning. In addition, the writer uses relative pronoun “who” and “that” reasonably. One more thing, that is the phrase, “the habit of coming late to the office”,which was used very naturally and skillfully. The second sentence is the long one,but it is very easy to understand and has the close meaning with Vietnamese text. In the finally sentence, I like the phrase “that of his watch”, because this way is very easy to translate and keep the meaning. In these two paragraphs, I like the way that the writer uses a phrase to translate.
PARAGRAPH 48.
COMMENT
These paragraphs describe the scene in Sapa. Firstly, “phía bên kia cầu” is translated “on the other end of the bridge”. I wonder if “end” is suitable and why the writer doesn’t use “side” instead of “end”. Besides, if I write this sentence, I will use “the mountain on the other side of the bridge a rock formation which resembles a tiger ready to jump ists prey.” The next sentence, “ on the far side of the mountain is abundance of wild archilds”, “abundance” helps the readers imagine that they are in the garden of flowers and there are a lot of flower here. The next one,” khoảng 5-6 km”, why the writer doesn’t use “ about”, it will be clearer to understand. The phrase “ an area with over two hundred engraved stone” is very easy to understand. We can see “ two hundred engraved stone”, instead of translating to a sentence, the writer only use a phrase. The last one, I think we shouldn’t translate the name “Đá cha”, “Đá mẹ”, etc into English because they are proper name. However, in this case the writer translates these names because he wants the foreign readers understand to understand the name and the meaning of these names in their own language. I like the way the translator uses the phrase instead of the sentence which make the text more coherent.
MAI THI THU HONG_7044733

minh said...

Paragraph15 BAI CHAY BEACH

After reading the paragraph in two languages, I have got some interesting things as well as some comments. For the first sentence,”Bai Chay, a large artificial beach close to Ha Long Bay, is over 500 meters long and 100 meters wide”. Although it does not obey the order of Vietnamese one, it is short and easy to understand. It can also express enough the meaning which the writer wants to convey. In the second sentence, I do not have the same point view with the translator. In my opinion, “Hoang Gia Tourism Company’s has made the side popular” is not enough. It should be” Thanks to Hoang Gia Tourism Company’s investment, Bai Chay has been popular”. In addition, the word “winds” should be replaced by “snakes” or “twist” to make it more pictographic and the phrase “cả nhà hát rối nước” into “even water-puppet theatres”.In this article, the thing I like best is the word “between” which is used to translate the phrase “nam tren duong tu”. I also disagree with the last sentence”…Ha Long night market provides water-skiing and jet-skiing”. I wonder where “Du khách” and “có thể chơi” were. In my opinion, it should be “…Ha Long night market is where customers can enjoy water-skiing and jet-skiing”. In short, this is a useful version for us to read and learn.

Vietnamese article
Đầu năm 2020, Việt Nam sẽ có vị trí khác hẳn hiện nay. Thế hệ trẻ Việt Nam sẽ được biết đến những hình ảnh thanh bình và tiến bộ.Họ sẽ có sự chuẩn bị tốt hơn để nghĩ đến những vấn đề dài hạn như môi trường cho sự tăng tuổi thọ, những khu vực còn đói nghèo…Họ cũng sẽ phải hiểu rằng họ là “những công dân toàn cầu” hơn bao giờ.

English article

Vietnam will be at a completely different position in the year of 2020. Vietnam young generation will be known as the image of peace and progress. They will get better preparation to think of long-term issues such as environments for the longer of lives, hungry…poverty areas. They will also have to understand that they are citizens” more global” than they are at present.

My Comment
In my opinion, in this paragraph, there are some points need to be changed. For example, “by the year of 2020” should be replaced by “By the early of 2020” to make its meaning clear and suitable with the Vietnamese one”Đầu năm 2020”.In addition, the way of using words is not interesting, we can use “environment for longevity improvement” instead of “environment for the longer of lives”, and “hungry and poverty religions “replaced for “hungry…poverty areas”. The translator seems to translate word by word, for example” They will also have to understand”. This sentence is so long, I think “they will know” is good enough for all of us to understand. One more thing, the phrase” more global “should be interpreted into “global citizens” instead of “more global”. “More global” can not convey the meanings which want to be expressed.
Vo Thi Minh Due
7044729
minhdue@gmail.com

Phan Thang said...

Phan Việt Thắng
7044739
Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Paragraph 13

Comments
The first sentence has two noticeable points. Firstly, the translator uses “grottoes and caves” to mean, “hang động”. This seems to be a big difference between Vietnamese and English. Instead of just using “caves” to mean, “hang động”, we must use “grottoes and caves” separately to indicate 2 different things: “hang” and “động”. In Vietnamese, we can say “hang động” in place of “hang and động”. On the contrary, we must say “ grottoes and caves” in English. Secondly, in Vietnamese original text, we have “Hạ Long có nhiều hang động “. Perhaps, a normal translator will translate like “ Ha Long has many grottoes and caves”. Here the translator uses “a rich collection of” in place of “many” that sounds a little bit more idiomatic. I like this way of translating. Thirdly, the translator uses “concentrated” as a participle meaning as an adjective and it has a passive voice. Actually, these grottoes and caves are arranged in an area to be protected by the UNESCO. Therefore, we cannot say, “concentrating” though in Vietnamese source text, it sounds a little bit active, “phần lớn tập trung “. In fact, “grottoes and caves” cannot concentrate because they are objects without mind processing. This point seems to be very interesting and it gives us some experience.
In the second sentence, the translator uses “feels” to say, “Thien Cung Grotto feels modern and refined” that seems to be not very appropriate. Usually we use “feel” for humans whereas this is just a grotto. I think “looks” is better than “feels” in this case.
The last sentence shows an excellent word choice. The translator uses “architectural creation” to mean “tác phẩm kiến trúc “. If we use “ novel or writing,” to mean “tác phẩm “, it will be nonsense and inappropriate because we are talking about “architecture”, not “literature”.

* Vietnamese text
“Tối 9 tháng 2 tại thành phố Hạ Long đã diễn ra lễ công bố Năm du lịch Hạ Long Year năm 2003. Thay mặt chính phủ, vớI tư cách Trưởng ban chỉ đạo nhà nước về du lịch, Phó Thủ Tướng Vũ Khoan phát biểu nhấn mạnh Năm du lịch Hạ Long 2003 còn là Năm du lịch Việt nam”.
* English text
“In the evening of 9th Feruary, a festival of proclaiming 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was celerated in Ha Long city. Presenting the government, Vice Prime Minister Vu Khoan is the capital as leader of the National Steering Committee on Tour remarkably declared that 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was also Viet Nam Tour Year.”
* Comments:
The first sentence shows a big difference between Vietnamese and English. In Vietnamese, passive voice is not commonly used. The main verb of the first Vietnamese source sentence is “diễn ra”, but what “diễn ra”? The answer is “lễ công bố Năm du lịch Hạ Long 2003”, but itself obviously cannot “diễn ra”. Infact, people celebrated it and it “diễn ra”. So, in the English version, the translator uses “was celebrated” with its subject is “a festival of proclaiming 2003 Ha Long Year Tour” is appropriately acceptable.
The second sentence shows a redundancy in the Englidh version. We can use “as the leader of the National Steering Committee on Tour” as a subordinate clause instead of adding, “is the capital as leader of”. “As” only can express the phrase “với tư cách” in Vietnamese. The translator uses “the capital as” which aims to mean “với tư cách” sounds a little bit “Vietnamese”. Thus, then, we can say: “ Presenting the government, as the leader of the National Steering Committee, Vice Prime Minister Vu Khoan remarkably declared that 2003 Ha Long Tour Year was alsoViet Nam Tour Year.”

honghieuspa1 said...

Paragraph 15. Bai chay Beach
In English version, there is beach after bai chay ( “bai chay beach”), but in Vietnamese version, just bãi cháy, it has the meaning of the land near the sea or the coach, so the writer does not need to repeatly use the word beach after bãi cháy.
The first sentence, in English version, the writer is skillful to use a comma which has the meaning of the word to be or in Vietnamese “là”. And close to talk about the distance is short, near or next to. Why didn’t the writer use word lie means nằm cạnh in Vietnamese version. I think he used it well because bai chay beach is a natural object not a thing that human make, so he can’t use the word lie.
The second sentence, there is the no word mean “nhờ có” or from the help of some one or organization, but when we read the sentence, we can know that with the investment of Hoang Gia tourism company make the site popular.
The third sentence, in Vietnamese version, we see một bên là bãi cát trắng một bên là rừng phi lao. I think that if the writer use one side is the beach of white sand, one side is casuarina trees, it would make the sentence more clear for reader to image the scene of bai chay.
The fourth sentnece two versions are both good.
Fifth sentence. Between mean position between two thing. Readers can image that bai chay is on the the way from bai chay tourist wharf to Ha long Night market. The use of the omission of relative adverb where ( là nơi) touits can play water-skiing and jet-skiing.


Additional text: Minh tri. The city of angels. Heritage. May/ june. 2003.62-65
Chợ nổi
Ngày nay Băng Cốc là một thành phố hiện đại, nhưng về phía Tây Nam, ở vùng phụ cận của thành phố, vẫn còn một khu vực mà cuộc sống vẫn giống như cha ông họ đã từng sống trước đây. Đó chính là một chợ nổi Damnern Saduak. Sáng sáng, những chiếc thuyền gỗ chất đầy những sản vật đổ về từ mọi hướng. Trên những chiếc thuyền khác là những tiệm ăn nổi mini phục vụ các loại đồ ăn đã nấu sẵn.
Floating market
While Bangkok is a huge, modern city, the way of life in the city’s south western outskirt cotinues much as it has for generations. The floating market of Damnern Saduak is an example of this continuity. Every morning, small boats heavily laden with fruit, flowers, vegetables, rice and other produce float in from all directions. Other small vessels serve as floatting mini restaurants that serve noodles, traditional sweets, or coconut milk.

Comment:
first sentence in Vietnamese is broken into two sentence in English version
The first sentence in Vietnamese version the writer just use the word hiện đại(modern). However in English version, we see word huge and modern mean the largement of this modern city. That use is good to describe Bangkok is not only huge but also large. Besides, he use word while with the meaning of today instead using the word today( ngày nay). I think he used the word while means though. Though Bangkok is a modern city it still remain the living style of their generations, especially in in the city’s south western outskirt.
Second sentence, we see small boat does not means the wooden boat. If a person who did not visit this place before, he or she just think of any boat which are made of any many materials like plastic, so the use of word in this sen is not good. Laden with with fruit, flowers, vegetables, rice and other produce float in from all directions. I think the writer use these words to explain more about what people carry to this market to sell, it is a good way to help reader know more about farming products here. Besides, he used Other small vessels serve as floatting mini restaurants that serve noodles, traditional sweets, or coconut milk. These words means in other boat we can enjoy many dishes.
hong hieu
7044732

myxuyen said...

Cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên Việt Nam
Vietnam’s natural beauty
Paragraph 61; page 53

My comment

With the English translation, I think the translator is so good in using correct words.I never think I could do like that because these are not easy to translate as knowledge I have. For example, “những con chim Pitta lông kẻ bụng phệ và những chú chim mỏ ngắn đuôi dài” are strange words that I never see. Thank to the hand out, I can know more about “bellied Pitta birds and trogons”. However, I do not also agree with some details. In my opinion, these are far away from the Vietnamese text. We can see “the park gates” appear in English text but nothing or no information in Vietnamese text. In addition, I wonder whether it is good or not when the translator use Highway 1 replace for “đường số 1”because in Vietnamese text does not mention about Highway. Maybe it also the good point of translator to discover the new thing that the text hiding. Besides, In my opinion, the translator use a lot of relevant words that do not need to be translated in the text. Even, it also has the wrong using in grammar of sentence. Although it has the meaning that “được bảo vệ bởi người dân địa phương” but I think it is not accepted by local people”. If I have right to translate again, I think it will be “being protected by local people”.
In general, this gives me some notes that it is to be careful with the translation from text to text. And maybe the question will always appear in my mind: “Is it necessary to translate exactly as the meaning of one text to another text

SACH TON GIAO VA LICH SU VAN MINH NHAN LOAI

Nói thì chậm xảy thì nhanh, đột nhiên một con voi lớn thình thịch xông tới, bầy thú bỏ chạy tán loạn, tiếng gió hú rít, tình thế nguy cấp, nhà vua cả kinh thát sắc, ôm chặt thái tử, chẳng còn biết phải làm gì. Kể cũng lạ, con voi lớn đến trước họ, từ từ dừng lại, không hề có ý hãm hại.

Suddenly, a big elephant appeared on the scene, charging toward them. The wild animals dispersed in all directions, and the situation was critical. King Suddhodana was so frightened that he held the Prince in his arms, not knowing what to do next. Strangly enough,when the big elephant charged towards the king and the Prince, it stopped suddenly and showed no sign of attacking them.
My comment
It can be said that the English text is an interesting and well-arranged version from Vietnamese one. The ideas, by anyway are sound good. However, there are still some problems between these two text. In my opinion, the English version is so good at skipping some unimpotant details such as : “ noi thi cham ,xay thi nhanh”. It looks like an expression. And I think it needn’t to translate here. Similarly, we can see “tieng gio ru len” not to be translated here.
Sometimes I feel confused with this way of translation. That is the way to use “comma”, and “dot”. But I think this way sounds suitable. How embarrassing I got with a lot of comma but dividing into separate sentences are easy to understand.
In addition, we can see “xong toi” has the difference meaning with “den truoc”. But the translater just use “charge toward” in second times. Maybe it causes me a little unpleasant because I do not know ow to use which one is effectively. Among them, perhaps the last detail is the most one that I do not agree with the translater: “con voi lon den truoc ho tu tu dung lai, khong he co y ham hai” are translated by “when the big elephant charged toward s the King and the Prince, it stopped suddenly and show no sign of attacking them”. In my opinion, there are some differences between them. “tu tu dung lai” differ from “stopped suddenly”(dung dot ngot). Maybe the English text has lost the respectation of the elephant for the Prince and the King. So, if I have a chance to translate this text, I will translate like this: “the big elephant charged toward to them , stopped gradually, and had no sign of attacking them”.
LE THI MY XUYEN
7044746
ClassA1

Dao Thi Luong said...

Class Assignment
Book: VIET NAM’S NATURAL BEAUTY
Ha Long Bay – paragraph 3 – page 17.
In general, I think the English translation text meets the requirements of a good translation text. It can convey the content as well as the structures of the Vietnamese text into the English one well.
With the word “hang động”, the translator uses two nouns “grottoes and caves” correctly because of the difference between Vietnamese and English. There are some adjectives that are used appropriately to those in Vietnamese such as “ample”, not “large” for “rộng lớn”; “grandiose” for “hùng vĩ”. The word “yet” for “nhưng” makes the sentence be more formal than using “but”. The translator uses “be linked to” for “gắn liền” is very suitable for the situation. However, there are some words that I may want to replace. First, the sentence “Thiên Cung trông có vẻ hiện đại và được sửa sang nhiều..” is translated into “ Thien Cung (Heavenly Palace Glotto) feels modern and refined…”. If I were the translator, I would use the verb “look” for this sentence in stead of “feel”. Second, with the word “kỳ bí”, I will use “mysterious” instead of “secretive”.
Extra- Assignment:
Book: Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, quyển 4. Tác giả : Hồ Văn Hòa. Nxb Đà Nẵng.
Bài 92-trang 134. Đoạn 1.
Vietnamese text:
Việt Nam đang bắt tay vào việc thực hiện một nhiệm vụ vô cùng to lớn là xây dựng một nền kinh tế hiện đại có khả năng thỏa mãn các nhu cầu của dân số đang gia tăng nhanh chóng của mình, cũng như để có thể cạnh tranh được với các quốc gia khác trên thương trường quốc tế. Nhờ có chính sách kinh tế mới mẻ của mình và việc ban hành luật đầu tư nước ngoài, nhiều thành phần kinh tế Việt Nam, hiện nay đang mở rộng cửa đón tiếp các đối tác ngoại quốc.
English translation text:
Vietnam is embarking on a gigantic task to build up a modern economy capable of satisfying the needs of its rapidly growing people and of competing with other countries on the world market. As a result of its new economic policy and the enactment of the foreign investment law, many of its economic sectors are now fully open, welcoming foreign partnerships.
Comment:
I really like the word choice of the translator of this English translation text. S/He chooses the words that are mostly close to the meaning of the Vietnamese words. First, the verb phrase “bắt tay vào việc thực hiện…” is translated into the verb “embark on” which means “start to do something new and difficult”. This verb is very suitable for this situation. Then s/he uses the adjective “gigantic”, not “extremely large” for “vô cùng to lớn”. The adjective also means “extremely large” but when we use it , then the feature of the “task” will be more emphasized. Second, in the next sentence the noun “enactment” is used very appropriately because it is used for making law be obeyed. Besides, the structures and verb tenses in the translation text are kept almost the same with the original.
Luong - 7044735

Au Cai Jin said...

Comment 01
Paragraph 152, Page 114-115

Considering this paragraph, I find out some words which did show that the author has chosen them for translation carefully. For example, he translates "nơi lưu giữ nhiều truyền thuyết" as "home to many legends." Although I try rewriting it as "archives of many legends," I think his sentence is good. He also has a correct chose when he use "a thatch hut" for "túp lều" instead of "a tent" because in this story "túp lều" means "lều tranh." In another case, "a golden turtle" is used because this tortoise came from the sea. However I wonder why the author don't used "Turtle God" but "Tortoise God" for the Vietnamese word "Thần Rùa."

Beside these good things, after reading this paragraph, I might consider the author as a word-for-word translator. I'm not sure those translated sentences would be acceptable or not to English people, even though they sound too Vietnamese. "Có người kể vào thời xa xưa có một ông lão sống cô độc trong túp lều cạnh biển" was translated as "Ones tells about ancient times, when a lonely old man lived in a thatch hut by the sea." Is it better if we translate it in a more natural way as "Once upon a time, someone tells, in a thatched hut by the sea, lived a solitary old man"? Moreover, could you see the author translate the sentence "Thần Rùa giao cho ông lão công việc bảo vệ quả trứng" into English as word for word: "The Tortoise God entrusted the old man with the job of protecting the egg"? I think there are some problems if we translate "công việc" here as "with a job", like the usual expression of Vietnamese. So is it better if this sentence is translated as "The Tortoise God entrusted the old man with protecting the egg" or "The old man was asked to be responsible for protecting the egg by the Tortoise God"?


Comment 02

Vietnamese Paragraph:
Dãy Anpơ
(From Thiên nhiên hùng vĩ - Impressive Nature, pages 7-9, by Nguyễn Thành Tâm)
Định cư
Phần lớn các làng mạc nằm ở trong các thung lũng núi, hệ thống đường ray xe lửa và đường bộ cũng đi qua đây. Nhiều con đường nhỏ nối những thung lũng với những đường hầm đã bị cắt. Cây Alpine là thức ăn chính cho gia súc nuôi lấy sữa. Vào mùa hè thì gia súc gặm cỏ trên những đồng cỏ, đến mùa đông người ta mang những gia súc này về thung lũng và nuôi bằng cỏ khô. Người ta còn nuôi dê để lấy sữa và làm pho mát. Cây lương thực được trồng ở những thung lũng có ánh nắng nhiều hơn. Các con sông được dùng để phát triển thủy điện.

English Translation Edition:
Alps
Settlement
Most villages are in the valleys, which also provide routes for roads and railways. There are many mountain passes linking the valleys and many tunnels have been cut. Alpine life centres around the farms, which are mainly for dairy cattle. In summer the cattle graze on the meadows, in winter they are brought back to the valley and fed on hay. Goats are kept for milk and cheese. Crops are grown in the sunnier valleys. Rivers are used for hydroelectric power.
--------------------

The author translates "các thung lũng núi" as "the valleys", and I think that is good when he skips the word "núi" because the paragraph just focus on the valleys. Does the word "mountain passes" means "con đường nhỏ" in this paragraph? In my opinion, this word is right because "con đường nhỏ" here means "con đường mòn băng qua núi." Also, the author uses passive voice to translate sentences which begins with "người ta..." This makes the sentences shorter and clearer. In the last sentence, he skips the word "phát triển", but I think it's OK. If we translate it as "Rivers are used for hydroelectricity development," it's just a little bit different from the old version.

In short, I consider this paragraph as a good translation, thanks for Mr. Nguyen Thanh Tam, even though the Vietnamese edition is quite simple.

Au Tai Tien - 7044783
Email: aucaijin@gmail.com

hac............ said...

Paragraph 12

HUYNH TO NUONG class 1
I use Truc's account because there is sth wrong with mine.

This paragraph decribes Ha Long Bay as a paradise on the earth. There is one sentence I really like because the translator used words creatively, “as summer approaches, they appear to awaken in unison and rise from the blue depths”. He used “in unison” instead of “together”. It made the readers more imagine about the beauty: all islands appear to awaken suddenly at the same time, not individually.
However, there are 2 points, I think, that made the readers confused. So, they may lose the readers interest a little bit. The first one is “snowy flowers” to mean “những bông hoa trắng như tuyết”. It is not suitable. Therefore, it should be rewritten like “….with flowers which are as white as snow” because “snow “refers to the weather, not color. The second one is the verb “feels“. I disagree with this word because it is used for human being’s senses. The translator should replace by “seems to be”.

AM NHAC
(Lan Khai)

Âm nhac là một trong những các môn cần dùng trong sự giáo dục của một dân tộc văn minh. Không nói gì ở các nước Âu châu người ta chú trọng đến âm nhạctrong khi dạy dỗ dân chúng; ngay bên Á đông mình, thánh hiền xưa cũng dành cho âm nhạc một địa vị quan trọng ngang với văn cương và chính trị.

Music is one of the subjects necessary for the education of a civilized people. Without speaking of European countries where people attach much importance to music white teaching men; in our very East Asia , the saints and sages of yore reserved an importance position for it on the same footing as literature and politics.

In general, the translated text is not good. It sounds Vietnamese and usage is not appropriate. The 1St sentence is grammatically wrong, it should be “ music is one of the subjects which is necessary for the education of civilized people.”
“Without speaking of European countries “ is a little bit strange in term of meaning. In the original text, the author means in the fact that European countries have done that for a very long time. So, the translator must use “undeniably”.
And the last idea is muddled, and the phrase “ for it on the same footing” is unnecessary. It’s simply written like “the saints and sages considered its role and position to be as important as literature and politics.”

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh, SPAV 01 K30, 7044734

Vietnamese text:

Khong the phu nhan ve thanh tuu phat trien cua Viet Nam trong nam vua qua, dac biet la ve cac chi so phat trien kinh te nhung cac ban hay nhin sang nuoc lang gieng cua minh la Trung Quoc-ho dang phat trien rat nhanh chong. Do do, nam 2003 cua Viet Nam, viec day nhanh toc do phat trien kinh te hon nua thi rat kho rut ngan duoc khoang cach giua Viet Nam va cac nuoc trong khu vuc cung nhu tren the gioi.

English translation text:

It's impossible to deny the acheivement in development of Viet Nam last year, especially the indices of economic development. However, please have a look at our neighbour country China. It is under rapid development. As a result, if Viet Nam doesn't speed up the economic growth in 2003, it's very hard to shorten the gap between Viet Nam and other countries in the region as well as in the world.

My ideas:
It's a good translation text because it can reflect the main idea of the original text, the structers of the sentences is also good. However, I think there're some thing should change to be better The word "deny" should be changed into "refuse" to soften the sentence because "phu nhan" don't have a totally negative meaning. "neighbour" is a noun, but in the second sentence, it must be an adj, so it should be "neighbouring". The last sentence is an "IF" form, so "it's very hard" should be changed into "It will be hard" to keep the grammar.

DAVID HO said...

page 9,paragraph 2

It is very interesing to read a good translation version from Vietnamese into English . "What is special about visiting the site of Vietnam's nature beauty" is a good example. To compare with " ban thay dieu gi dac biet khi tham canh dep thien nhien viet nam ?" I wonder if why the translator used preposition "about" instead of "when" to change into "what is special for tourists when visiting the sites of Vietnam's natural beauty". I would like to know which is better and why the word "ban" in Vietnamese was not translated in english version.The first sentence,the structure used with noun-phrases is very good, Viet nam is a long "S" shape-country bordering the Eastern Sea." It is Ok when used adjective "long" for "trai dai". But, I think, if we use "spread" to refer "trai dai", the translated version will be better and the word "bordering" can be replaced by "located" ? secondly, It is very difficult to transform exact meaning of the second sentence into english because of dialect words.But, the translator was intelligent to choose suitable words to show efficient meaning into english version.However, the structure of the sentence is very ambitious, this makes me quite confused to understand the whole meaning of sentence.The author of the translation version add "in the northern" (o phia bac) and "in the southern (o phia nam) which I think it is not necessary to lengthen the sentence like that in the third sentence of english one.The fourth sentence is quite good and this makes readers understand the third sentence above clearly. In the fifth sentence, I feel "passive-aggressive" to acept the ways of using words of the translator.I mean It should be replaced "land protection" into "country protection" it will be better and stronger than "land" to shoe the strong spirit of fighting to protect conutry of Vietnamese. The long sentence used only by one verb, but you think "extends" and "exist" which is better to use for a good sentence? Finally, why didn't the translator use "custom" to show "tap tuc, tap quan" instead of "practices"?.
In general, the english version is quite good. It's easy to understand the passage with the whole meaning from vietnamese version.The structure of sentence and grammar are also suitable for all of english learners.Howerver, I still have some problems I haven't understood which I showed above. I would like you to explain and tell me precious advice for good translation version.
Thank you very much.


Introduction of cantho university (resource: http://www.ctu.edu.vn/english/introduction/index.htm)

Đại học Cần Thơ (ĐHCT), cơ sở đ�o tạo đại học v� sau đại học trọng điểm của Nh� nước ở ĐBSCL, l� trung t�m văn h�a - khoa học kỹ thuật của v�ng. Trường đ� kh�ng ngừng ho�n thiện v� ph�t triển, từ một số �t ng�nh đ�o tạo ban đầu, Trường đ� củng cố, ph�t triển th�nh một trường đa ng�nh đa lĩnh vực. Hiện nay Trường đ�o tạo 47 chuy�n ng�nh đại học, 15 chuy�n ng�nh cao học v� 05 chuy�n ng�nh nghi�n cứu sinh.
Nhiệm vụ ch�nh của Trường l� đ�o tạo, nghi�n cứu khoa học (NCKH), chuyển giao c�ng nghệ phục vụ ph�t triển kinh tế - x� hội trong v�ng. Song song với c�ng t�c đ�o tạo, ĐHCT đ� tham gia t�ch cực c�c chương tr�nh NCKH, ứng dụng những th�nh tựu khoa học kỹ thuật nhằm giải quyết c�c vấn đề về khoa học, c�ng nghệ, kinh tế, văn ho� v� x� hội của v�ng. Từ những kết quả của c�c c�ng tr�nh NCKH v� hợp t�c quốc tế, Trường đ� tạo ra nhiều sản phẩm, qui tr�nh c�ng nghệ phục vụ sản xuất, đời sống v� xuất khẩu, tạo được uy t�n tr�n thị trường trong nước v� quốc tế.
ĐHCT tranh thủ được sự hỗ trợ t�ch cực của ch�nh quyền địa phương ĐBSCL trong c�c lĩnh vực đ�o tạo, hợp t�c khoa học kỹ thuật v� chuyển giao c�ng nghệ. Trường đ� mở rộng quan hệ hợp t�c khoa học kỹ thuật với nhiều tổ chức quốc tế, trường đại học v� viện nghi�n cứu tr�n thế giới. Th�ng qua c�c chương tr�nh hợp t�c, năng lực quản l� v� chuy�n m�n của đội ngũ c�n bộ được n�ng cao, cơ sở vật chất, trang thiết bị th� nghiệm, t�i liệu th�ng tin khoa học được bổ sung.

nglish version:
Over the past few years, many policies of the Communist Party and the Government have resulted in big changes to agricultural production and development in the Mekong Delta, bringing about prosperity to the whole region. Entering the new millennium, with the urgent need for national industrialization and modernization, the regional scientists and authorities are required to explore issues related to the rationale, scientific practice, and strategic plans for the region's development in order to invest, exploit, and bring into full use the region's rich and diverse human and natural resources.
Can Tho University (CTU), an important state higher education institution in the Mekong Delta, is the cultural, scientific and technical center of the Mekong Delta. Since its foundation in 1966, CTU has been improving and developing itself. From a university with a few fields of study at the beginning, it has developed into a multidisciplinary university. At the moment, it has 47 undergraduate, 15 Masters, and 5 Doctoral training programs.
CTU's main missions are training, conducting scientific research, and transferring technology to serve the region's socio-economic development. In addition to its training responsibilities, CTU has actively taken part in scientific research projects, applying the scientific and technological achievements to solve problems related to science, technology, economics, culture and society in the region. Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects, the university has developed a variety of products and technological production processes for the benefit of people's lives and the promotion of export, helping the University gain prestige on the national and international markets.
CTU has also received strong support from the authorities of the twelve provinces in the Mekong Delta in areas such as training, scientific and technological cooperation and transfer. The University has extended scientific and technological cooperation with many international organizations, universities and research institutes. Thanks to these cooperative projects, the staff's administrative capacity and specializations have been upgraded, and facilities, experimental tools and scientific materials have been added.

My comment:

In INTRODUCTION of Cantho university.The English version is quite good with the good and understandable structure of sentence, especially exact meaning of the version which the translator transformed by using noun-phrase. However, some words are not good and suitable one and the translator didn't express points like vienamese version.In the first semntense, the translator replaced the verb "co" in vietnamese into the preposition "with" in English.I agree with him (the transltor) because Mekong delta is a noun which refer to thing, we can not use "co" like vienamese version.If we don't use prweposition " with" I wonder if would be right and better.Using "basket" in "rice basket" to refer "vua lua" is not good.why don't we replace into " rice store"? I think it will be better to express the important role of Mekong Delta".The translator is very good at transforming the richness of the Mekong dleta in next sentences.In "Over the past few years, many policies of the Communist Party and the Government have resulted in big changes to agricultural production and development in the Mekong Delta , bringing about prosperity to the whole region. Entering the new millennium, with the urgent need for national industrialization and modernization, the regional scientists and authorities are required to explore issues related to the rationale, scientific practice, and strategic plans for the region's development in order to invest, exploit, and bring into full use the region's rich and diverse human and natural resources.",he is quite confused to keep the order of the strings of sentences understandably. It is very ambitious for readers to understand "Trong những năm qua, nhiều ch�nh s�ch của Đảng v� Nh� nước đ� t�c động t�ch cực, l�m đổi thay lớn về sản xuất v� ph�t triển n�ng nghiệp ở ĐBSCL mang lại sự thịnh vượng chung cho to�n v�ng. Bước v�o thi�n ni�n kỷ mới, với y�u cầu C�ng nghi�p h�a - Hiện đại h�a đất nước, nhiều vấn đề về cơ sở l� luận v� thực tiễn khoa học, việc qui hoạch chiến lược ph�t triển của v�ng đặt ra những c�u hỏi bức b�ch cho c�c nh� khoa học v� ch�nh quyền c�c cấp tham gia nghi�n cứu, l� giải nhằm đầu tư, khai th�c v� sử dụng c� hiệu quả nhất nguồn nh�n lực v� t�i nguy�n phong ph� đa dạng của v�ng." Like vietnamses version.morever, I wonder if itwill be better when we translate " Từ những kết quả của c�c c�ng tr�nh NCKH v� hợp t�c quốc tế, Trường đ� tạo ra nhiều sản phẩm, qui tr�nh c�ng nghệ phục vụ sản xuất, đời sống v� xuất khẩu, tạo được uy t�n tr�n thị trường trong nước v� quốc tế." into "Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects, the university has developed a variety of products and technological production processes for the benefit of people's lives and the promotion of export, helping the University gain prestige on the national and international markets" because we can not use "Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects" to refer "Từ những kết quả của c�c c�ng tr�nh NCKH v� hợp t�c quốc tế" which transltor didn't transform efficinet meaning when he used "out of"
In general, This is the best version which I have ever seen in the cantho university's website.Other english version of many faculties is not condensed and it was very ambitious to understand because many words were not chosen suitably.This makes readers confused to comprehen the whole version. I hope you will agree with my ideas when you visit the website of can tho university (in english version).
Thank you very much.

DAVID HO said...

page 9,paragraph 2

It is very interesing to read a good translation version from Vietnamese into English . "What is special about visiting the site of Vietnam's nature beauty" is a good example. To compare with " ban thay dieu gi dac biet khi tham canh dep thien nhien viet nam ?" I wonder if why the translator used preposition "about" instead of "when" to change into "what is special for tourists when visiting the sites of Vietnam's natural beauty". I would like to know which is better and why the word "ban" in Vietnamese was not translated in english version.The first sentence,the structure used with noun-phrases is very good, Viet nam is a long "S" shape-country bordering the Eastern Sea." It is Ok when used adjective "long" for "trai dai". But, I think, if we use "spread" to refer "trai dai", the translated version will be better and the word "bordering" can be replaced by "located" ? secondly, It is very difficult to transform exact meaning of the second sentence into english because of dialect words.But, the translator was intelligent to choose suitable words to show efficient meaning into english version.However, the structure of the sentence is very ambitious, this makes me quite confused to understand the whole meaning of sentence.The author of the translation version add "in the northern" (o phia bac) and "in the southern (o phia nam) which I think it is not necessary to lengthen the sentence like that in the third sentence of english one.The fourth sentence is quite good and this makes readers understand the third sentence above clearly. In the fifth sentence, I feel "passive-aggressive" to acept the ways of using words of the translator.I mean It should be replaced "land protection" into "country protection" it will be better and stronger than "land" to shoe the strong spirit of fighting to protect conutry of Vietnamese. The long sentence used only by one verb, but you think "extends" and "exist" which is better to use for a good sentence? Finally, why didn't the translator use "custom" to show "tap tuc, tap quan" instead of "practices"?.
In general, the english version is quite good. It's easy to understand the passage with the whole meaning from vietnamese version.The structure of sentence and grammar are also suitable for all of english learners.Howerver, I still have some problems I haven't understood which I showed above. I would like you to explain and tell me precious advice for good translation version.
Thank you very much.


Introduction of cantho university (resource: http://www.ctu.edu.vn/english/introduction/index.htm)

Đại học Cần Thơ (ĐHCT), cơ sở đào tạo đại học và sau đại học trọng điểm của Nhà nước ở ĐBSCL, là trung tâm văn hóa - khoa học kỹ thuật của vùng. Trường đã không ngừng hoàn thiện và phát triển, từ một số ít ngành đào tạo ban đầu, Trường đã củng cố, phát triển thành một trường đa ngành đa lĩnh vực. Hiện nay Trường đào tạo 47 chuyên ngành đại học, 15 chuyên ngành cao học và 05 chuyên ngành nghiên cứu sinh.
Nhiệm vụ chính của Trường là đào tạo, nghiên cứu khoa học (NCKH), chuyển giao công nghệ phục vụ phát triển kinh tế - xã hội trong vùng. Song song với công tác đào tạo, ĐHCT đã tham gia tích cực các chương trình NCKH, ứng dụng những thành tựu khoa học kỹ thuật nhằm giải quyết các vấn đề về khoa học, công nghệ, kinh tế, văn hoá và xã hội của vùng. Từ những kết quả của các công trình NCKH và hợp tác quốc tế, Trường đã tạo ra nhiều sản phẩm, qui trình công nghệ phục vụ sản xuất, đời sống và xuất khẩu, tạo được uy tín trên thị trường trong nước và quốc tế.
ĐHCT tranh thủ được sự hỗ trợ tích cực của chính quyền địa phương ĐBSCL trong các lĩnh vực đào tạo, hợp tác khoa học kỹ thuật và chuyển giao công nghệ. Trường đã mở rộng quan hệ hợp tác khoa học kỹ thuật với nhiều tổ chức quốc tế, trường đại học và viện nghiên cứu trên thế giới. Thông qua các chương trình hợp tác, năng lực quản lý và chuyên môn của đội ngũ cán bộ được nâng cao, cơ sở vật chất, trang thiết bị thí nghiệm, tài liệu thông tin khoa học được bổ sung.

nglish version:
Over the past few years, many policies of the Communist Party and the Government have resulted in big changes to agricultural production and development in the Mekong Delta, bringing about prosperity to the whole region. Entering the new millennium, with the urgent need for national industrialization and modernization, the regional scientists and authorities are required to explore issues related to the rationale, scientific practice, and strategic plans for the region's development in order to invest, exploit, and bring into full use the region's rich and diverse human and natural resources.
Can Tho University (CTU), an important state higher education institution in the Mekong Delta, is the cultural, scientific and technical center of the Mekong Delta. Since its foundation in 1966, CTU has been improving and developing itself. From a university with a few fields of study at the beginning, it has developed into a multidisciplinary university. At the moment, it has 47 undergraduate, 15 Masters, and 5 Doctoral training programs.
CTU's main missions are training, conducting scientific research, and transferring technology to serve the region's socio-economic development. In addition to its training responsibilities, CTU has actively taken part in scientific research projects, applying the scientific and technological achievements to solve problems related to science, technology, economics, culture and society in the region. Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects, the university has developed a variety of products and technological production processes for the benefit of people's lives and the promotion of export, helping the University gain prestige on the national and international markets.
CTU has also received strong support from the authorities of the twelve provinces in the Mekong Delta in areas such as training, scientific and technological cooperation and transfer. The University has extended scientific and technological cooperation with many international organizations, universities and research institutes. Thanks to these cooperative projects, the staff's administrative capacity and specializations have been upgraded, and facilities, experimental tools and scientific materials have been added.

My comment:

In INTRODUCTION of Cantho university.The English version is quite good with the good and understandable structure of sentence, especially exact meaning of the version which the translator transformed by using noun-phrase. However, some words are not good and suitable one and the translator didn't express points like vienamese version.In the first semntense, the translator replaced the verb "co" in vietnamese into the preposition "with" in English.I agree with him (the transltor) because Mekong delta is a noun which refer to thing, we can not use "co" like vienamese version.If we don't use prweposition " with" I wonder if would be right and better.Using "basket" in "rice basket" to refer "vua lua" is not good.why don't we replace into " rice store"? I think it will be better to express the important role of Mekong Delta".The translator is very good at transforming the richness of the Mekong dleta in next sentences.In "Over the past few years, many policies of the Communist Party and the Government have resulted in big changes to agricultural production and development in the Mekong Delta , bringing about prosperity to the whole region. Entering the new millennium, with the urgent need for national industrialization and modernization, the regional scientists and authorities are required to explore issues related to the rationale, scientific practice, and strategic plans for the region's development in order to invest, exploit, and bring into full use the region's rich and diverse human and natural resources.",he is quite confused to keep the order of the strings of sentences understandably. It is very ambitious for readers to understand "Trong những năm qua, nhiều chính sách của Đảng và Nhà nước đã tác động tích cực, làm đổi thay lớn về sản xuất và phát triển nông nghiệp ở ĐBSCL mang lại sự thịnh vượng chung cho toàn vùng. Bước vào thiên niên kỷ mới, với yêu cầu Công nghiêp hóa - Hiện đại hóa đất nước, nhiều vấn đề về cơ sở lý luận và thực tiễn khoa học, việc qui hoạch chiến lược phát triển của vùng đặt ra những câu hỏi bức bách cho các nhà khoa học và chính quyền các cấp tham gia nghiên cứu, lý giải nhằm đầu tư, khai thác và sử dụng có hiệu quả nhất nguồn nhân lực và tài nguyên phong phú, đa dạng của vùng." Like vietnamses version.morever, I wonder if itwill be better when we translate " Từ những kết quả của các công trình NCKH và hợp tác quốc tế, Trường đã tạo ra nhiều sản phẩm, qui trình công nghệ phục vụ sản xuất, đời sống và xuất khẩu, tạo được uy tín trên thị trường trong nước và quốc tế." into "Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects, the university has developed a variety of products and technological production processes for the benefit of people's lives and the promotion of export, helping the University gain prestige on the national and international markets" because we can not use "Out of achievements from its scientific research and international cooperation projects" to refer "Từ những kết quả của các công trình NCKH và hợp tác quốc tế" which transltor didn't transform efficinet meaning when he used "out of"
In general, This is the best version which I have ever seen in the cantho university's website.Other english version of many faculties is not condensed and it was very ambitious to understand because many words were not chosen suitably.This makes readers confused to comprehen the whole version. I hope you will agree with my ideas when you visit the website of can tho university (in english version).
Thank you very much.

DAVID HO said...

HO DINH QUOC
7044738
GROUP 1

Hang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vo said...

P. 23 – Page 24-25

This is a good translation. At the beginning of the paragraph, the translator used “soon after” to translate “ngay khi” into English. It was excellent of him to use the word “soon”. If we only use the word after, the meaning of the sentence will be a little different. “Soon after” according to Oxford Dictionary is in a short time after something has happened. So, if we use the word after without soon, the sentence will lost the meaning “in a short time”. In the first sentence, the translator also used the verb “turn…into”. It is appropriate to use this verb in order to explain the meaning of making something become something (biến). In my opinion, using either “turn something into something” or “make something become something” can be accepted. In the second sentence, the translator had a good choice to translate “các nhà đầu tư” by using “developers”. Although “nhà đầu tư” can be translated into “investor”, the translator had a different choice. He grasped the meaning of “nhà đầu tư” in this context and knew how to explain it in English. In this context, “nhà đầu tư” here is a person or company that buys land or buildings in order to build new houses, shops/stores, etc., or to improve the old ones, and makes a profit from doing this. So he selected “developers” instead of “investors”. Next, we will discuss about the word “renovated” in this sentence. Without reading the translation, I would use verbs “refurbish”. However, renovating is to repair and paint an old building, a piece of furniture, etc. so that it is in good condition again while refurbishing is just to clean and decorate a room, building, etc. in order to make it more attractive, more useful, etc. That was why the translator preferred using “renovated” than “refurbished”. One thing I want to discuss is the word “hướng ra” If I were the translator, I would use “toward” to let readers know the direction of the casino. I don’t think “with view of” can explain the meaning of “hướng ra” completely. Back to the first sentence, the translator used “arrived” to explain the meaning “đến” in English. I think the world “đến” here means “invaded” because in the social situation then, the French occupied Vienam city by city. The word “arrived” just mean to get to a place, especially at the end of a journey. So, Its meaning is not clear enough to let the readers know the history status at that time. I would use the word “invaded”.
In conclusion, this is a good translation in spite of a few differences between my translation and the tranlator’s.

Vo Chanh Truc - 7044744
vochanhtruc@gmail.com

THI BINH said...

PARAGRAPH 11

I am interested in the first sentence of translation “seen from above, Ha Long Bay resembles a light blue handkerchief dotted with emeralds”, especially “handkerchief dotted with emeralds” is a good choice of words. “ His face turned out to sea” not “to the sea” is quite correct.
However, I think we can translate the sentence “vinh chi co tong dien tich la 1553 km2 ma co toi 1963 hon dao” as “ the bay is only 1553 square kilometers lagre yet has 1963 islands.” Instead of the use of the verb “cover”.Additionally, “ bobbing on the water” should be used instead of “bobbing in the water”. One more thing is that “tay chap niem Phat” should be translated into English as “clasps his hands to pray to Buddha” not “clasps his hand in prayer to Buddha”.


VIETNAMTOURISM.GOV.COM
I am going to give some comments on this website.
First of all, the word “ viet nam ve dep tiem an” makes me interested in translating it into English. I suggest one way of translating: VIET NAM – THE LATENT CHARM” NOT “THE HIDDEN CHARM” because the word “latent” creats a better meaning. So, it needs to be discovered by foreigners. Secondly, I am quite glad to see the phrase “about VNAT” NOT “ introduction about VNAT”. Thirdly, I wonder whether we can translate “tong cuc du lich viet nam” as “the Vietnamese tourism general department” instead of “ Vietnam national administration of tourism”.

Ngoc said...

Comments on paragraph 8 (p.15) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Tran Truc Ngoc - class 01 – 7044736 (Email address: trucngocspavk30@gmail.com)

This paragraph is about The Mother Goddess Temple. Right in the first sentence of the Vietnamese original text, I can see difference points in comparison with the English translation.

In Vietnamese text, the first sentence begins from “Den Thanh Mau” to “troi dat tu bien vao”. However, this sentence is separated into two sentences. The phrase “hay con goi la” in Vietnamese is translated into “also known as”. That is a good and popular way to translate this phrase. In my opinion, I use “or” which is more simple and also expresses the equality in meaning.

Next, the translation is quite flexible in finding ways to translate the pharse “ma theo truyen thuyet la mot pho tuong da bi song danh troi dat tu bien vao”. Instead of using “to be” as : according to local legend, the temple was a statue which was drifted on shore from the sea; the translation uses relative pronoun for the word “statue”. This makes the translation a little different in meaning with the original one but it is still understandable. The verb “washed” here seems not to be very close to the Vietnamese meaning. Personally, I would translate this sentence as follows:

“The Mother Goddess Temple, or Tra Co Temple, was built in 1550 for the honour of the Holy Mother. According to local legend, the temple was a statue drifted on shore from the sea.”

The next sentence is translated quite well except for the verb “flock”. This verb is not very common used for people. I would choose the verb “gather” to translate this sentence.

Finally, the last sentence in Vietnamese original text is separated into two sentences in the translation. I think this is a good way to avoid wordiness when we translate a text in Vietnamese into another language, e.g. English. I like the first sentence in the translation “the temple was originally only a small hut in the forest.” This sentence can express what the Vietnamese text tries to say. The adverb “originally” and the word “hut” are very convincing and suitable in this situation. Especially, the second sentence in the translation uses simple structure but shows that it is one of the most successful ways to translate the phrase “nhung gio day da tro thanh mot ngoi den duoi tan cay da co thu 700 nam tuoi”. Actually, the translation does not use “but” but the readers still understand the meaning of contrast here. I appreciate this way of translation.

In conclusion, this is a good translation although there are some words or phrases that are not translated quite closely to the meaning of the original text. Besides, there are also some well-translated sentences with simple and flexible structures.



Comments on paragraph taken from website http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/
Tran Truc Ngoc – class 01 – 7044736 (Email address: trucngocspavk30@gmail.com)

The Vietnamese original text

Viet Nam thuoc nhom "20 điem du lich đuoc yeu thich nhat"

Ngay 7/9/2007. Cap nhat luc 10h 56'

Lan đau tien Viet Nam da lot vao danh sach 20 diem den du lich duoc yeu thich nhat nam 2007 theo khao sat cua Tap chi du lich Conde Nast Traveller. Khao sat thuc hien voi 30.000 doc gia, danh gia cac diem den dua tren 10 tieu chi khac nhau, trong do co su phong phu ve van hoa, su da dang ve cac diem du lich, tinh than thien voi moi truong... Viet Nam lan dau tien lot vao bang voi thu hang 18/20. Nam nay, vi tri quan quan thuoc ve An Do, tang ba bac so voi nam ngoai. Cac nuoc tiep theo trong top nam la Y, Thai Lan, Uc va New Zealand.

Theo Website TCDL

The English translation

Viet Nam Voted One of 20 Best Travel Destinations

Updated on 9/15/2007 at 11:27

Viet Nam has been voted as one of the 20 best travel destinations in 2007 by readers of the upmarket travel magazine Conde Nast Traveller. The annual country poll was conducted among 30,000 readers with evaluations based on 10 different categories, including abundance of culture, variety of attractions, range of accommodation, and environmental friendliness. Viet Nam enters the list this year for the first time, ranking 18th among the top 20 selected travel destinations. India takes the first position in this year’s list, compared with fourth place last year. The other top winning countries are Italy, Thailand, Australia and New Zealand.

(CPV/VNA)

My comments

This is a good translation which translates quite closely to the meaning of the Vietnamese original text. The translation uses simple but effective structures and that helps the readers follow easily as well as understand clearly the content of the news. Some of the noun phrases used effectively are “best travel destinations, annual country poll, abundance of culture, variety of attractions, range of accommodation, environmental friendliness, etc.” I think using effective noun phrases and a good choice of words helps make this translation successful.

In the sentence before the last, I recognize a good way to translate the phrase “tang ba bac so voi nam ngoai”. Instead of translating like “an increase of 3 positions compared with last year”, the translation uses “compared with fourth place last year”. Then, I can say that in translation we do not need to translate exactly the structure of the original text but we need to keep the original meaning as much as possible. Through this translation, I learn some good ways to translate Vietnamese into English. However, there are two words : “upmarket” and “country” (in “annual country poll”) that are used in the translation but I can not explain why the translation needs them. Please help me if you have time. Thank you very much!

Hang said...

Doan Thi Thuy Hang
7044731
SPAV 01-K30
Doanhang828515@yahoo.com.vn
Doanthithuyhang828515@gmail.com


Comment: Paragraph 22th,p24-25

After reading this paragraph, I find some interesting things to comment. With the first sentence: “Năm 1741, Nguyễn Hữu Cầu đã chọn Đồ Sơn làm căn cứ hải quân” – “In 1741, Nguyễn Hữu Cầu, selected Đồ Sơn as navy camp”. We know that in English and Vietnamese have different expressions. For instance, in the phrase “năm 1741” is translated into Vietnamese “in 1741”. In fact, people always use a preposition “in” before a year. We cannot translate “năm 1741” into “year 1741” because Vietnamese has no such a structure. Hence, It is important to translate time expressions for equivalence. The next phrase: “Chọn Đồ Sơn làm căn cứ hải quân” - “selected Đồ Sơn as navy camp”. In this case translators did not translate the word “làm”, on the contrary, they used the preposition “as”. This word choice is quite reasonable because in other case, people also prefer to use such a structure “I work as a teacher for many year”. Thus, in some cases, the translators can use a preposition instead of a verb. The last sentence, “the current custom of buffalo fights on the ninth day of the eight lunar month in conjunction with a festival for the Water God grew up a ceremony Nguyễn Hữu Cầu organized to encourage his soldiers ” – “Tục chọi trâu hiên nay vào ngày 9 tháng 8 Âm lịch cùng với lễ hội Thuỷ thần bắt nguồn từ một nghi lễ Nguyễn Hữu Cầu đã tổ chức để khích lệ binh lính của ông”. We can see that the order of constituents in English version is totally different from Vietnamese text. Actually, in Vietnamese we have structure “Noun +Adj” but in English is opposite “Adj + Noun”. So, “tục chọi trâu hiện nay” was translated into “the current custom”. Also, in English version, translators used the possessive form twice: “the current custom of buffalo fights”… “the ninth day of the eighth…”, in English, people use preposition to form a noun phrases and people are more likely to use the “of + noun form” with an inanimate form but in Vietnam people do not use these structures. So, when we translate English into Vietnamese, we often ignore preposition or when we translate Vietnamese into English, prepositions need to be considered. Also, in this sentence, I like the phrase “in conjunction with” – “ cùng với”. If I were a translator, I just would use a very simple word “with”. In fact, in a comparison with the phrase “in conjunction with”, the former is better because it can express two events happened in the same time. Thus, I think I can learn this phrase for my translating. In this sentence I did not agree with the translator at “bắt nguồn từ một nghi lễ” –“grew from a ceremony”. In my opinion, it will be better if we change the phrase “grew from a ceremony” into “originated from a ceremony because the word “originated” has a closer meaning to the Vietnamese text. In general, the English version is good and I really like it,



VietNamNet Bridge – The Phong Nha-Ke Bang National Park’s management board in Quang Binh province in central Vietnam has opened a zone for semi-wild primates.

This 20ha zone, which is funded by the Frankfurt Wildlife Preservation Association (Germany), worth US$98,000, is fenced off with a net.

This zone will be an ecological site serving scientific research, educating and improving people’s awareness of the need for protecting wildlife.

From now to the year’s end, the zone will receive 46 rare primates from Cuc Phuong national park.



Phong Nha - Kẻ Bàng có khu nuôi thả linh trưởng



Khu nuôi thả linh trưởng bán hoang dã do Hiệp hội bảo tồn động vật Frankfurt (Ðức) tài trợ với số tiền 98.000 USD vừa được Vườn quốc gia Phong Nha - Kẻ Bàng (Quảng Bình) đưa vào sử dụng. Khu này có diện tích 20 ha được bao bọc bởi hàng rào bằng lưới. Khu nuôi thả linh trưởng sẽ là khu sinh thái, nghiên cứu khoa học, tuyên truyền nâng cao nhận thức cho nhân dân trong việc bảo vệ động vật quý hiếm. Từ nay đến cuối năm, khu nuôi thả linh trưởng này sẽ tiếp nhận thêm 46 cá thể linh trưởng quý hiếm từ Vườn quốc gia Cúc Phương.