Monday, September 24, 2007

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26 comments:

minh said...

HA LONG BAY
(Page 16&17)
After reading this article, I was led from surprised to exciting. The act of using words in Vietnamese translation as well as English one is so excellent. The image of Ha Long bay seems to appear in front of my eyes with many beautiful and romantic scenes. In spite of having different language, the content which the writer want to express, is not changed. For example,” Hon Trong Mai nhu mot doi ga bong benh tren mat nuoc”\”Trong Mai resembles a pair of chickens bobbing in water”. In my opinion, this is a completed translation. If I translate this article, I will use some different words. Perhaps, my translation can be accepted; however, I think it is not lively and persuadable as this one. For example, I will use “from high position” instead of “seen from above”, “look like” instead of “resemble”, Trong Mai island\Trong Mai.In addition,
The one I like best in this article is the special comparison style: “Hon ong going nhu mot vi su gia…bao la”, and in English translation it is not less lively and interesting as the first one. In short, this translation helps me improve my vocabulary as well as choosing words skill.

Vietnamese article
Các bà vợ có xu hướng tin rằng các ông chồng có tài xoay trở và uyên bác vô hạn.Ngay cả những ông chồng không thể đóng một cây đinh thẳng cũng được coi như những thợ điện,thợ mộc,thợ ống nước và thợ máy bẩm sinh.Khi bóng đèn bị chaý,đồ đạc bị lỏng lẻo,ống nước nghẹt,máy hút bụi không chạy,các bà vợ tự cho rằng chồng họ sẽ sửa lại bằng cách nào đó.Có một điều tệ hạị nhất về trò chơi tự làm lấy là các ông chồng đôi khi sống trong ảo tưởng là họ có khả năng làm bất cứ cái gì,ngay cả khi họ được người khác chứng minh nhiều lần là họ đã làm sai.Nó là một vấn đề danh dự giống như những vấn đề khác.

English article
Wives tend to believe that their husbands are infinitely resourceful and versatile. Even husbands who can hardly drive a nail in straight are supposed to be born electricians, carpenter, plumbers, and mechanics. When light fuse, furniture gets rickety, pipes get clogged, or vacuum cleaners fail to operate , wives automatically assume that their husbands will somehow put things right. The worst thing about the do-it-yourself is that sometime husbands live under the delusion that they can do anything even when they have been repeatedly proved wrong. It is a question of pride as much as anything else.



My comment
The paragraph helps us know more about family life, the thoughts of wives and husbands. In addition, the way of translation is a little special and different from my thought. For example, I will translate “cây đinh thẳng” into “a straight nail” not “a nail in straight”, or “cũng được coi như là” into “are considered to be” instead of “are supposed to be”. The one I like best is the phrase”their husbands will somehow put things right”. This sentence is strange. In my case, I will translate it into “will find the way to repair them”. Although the paragraph has some strange words and structure, the content of it is still kept.
VO THI MINH DUE CLASS A1

DAVID HO said...

Page 12, paragraph 4:

In the title “Việt Nam coù nhöõng ñaûo , vònh vaø baõi bieån naøo ñöôïc öa thích nhaát ?”
which was translated ““What are the most favourite islands, bays and beaches ?”
” I wonder if I could translate into “which islands, bays and beaches in Viet Nam which people like to travel best” . But, I think the English version is better because the title is very short ,understandable and used noun phrases (it ‘s considered very well for translation). The second, “Vôùi bôø bieån daøi 3000 km töø baõi bieånh Traø Coå cuûa tænh Quaûng Ninh ôû phía Baéc ñeán muõi Caø Mau cuûa tænh Caø Mau ôû phía Baéc cöïc Nam coù nhieàu ñaûo, vònh vaø baõi bieån bao goàm nhöõng nôi heûo laùnh vaø laõng maïn vaø nhöõng nôi noåi tieáng vaø soâi ñoäng “Viet nam’s 3000 kilometre coastline strechtes from Tra Co beach in the northern province of Quang Ninh ti Ca Mau Cape in Viet Nam’s southern-most province of Ca Mau and includes island, bays and beaches that range from the secluded and romantic to the popular and sporty why can we translate into “ with the 3000 kilometre coastline stretch…Ca Mau Cape , Viet Nam has a lot of islands, bays and beaches including the secluded ( or remote) and sporty scenes. I don’t know I can change it and which is better. However, the English version was shortened with suitable and firmed noun-phrases which help readers understand easily. Sometimes, we have to arrange the order of sentences in Vietnamese into English version.This help readers feel well and comfortable . But, if there are a lot of order of sentences ( or meaning of the passage ) are changed , I would like to know if it make readers confused and they are difficult to remember the content of the passage which need to be translated. the last sentence “Nhöõng baõi bieån ñöôïc öa thích laø Traø Coå, Haï Long, Baõi Chaùy, Ñoà Sôn, Caûnh Döông, Laêng Coâ, Non Nöôùc, Ñaïi Laõnh, Nha Trang, Muõi Neù, Hoøn Rôm Vaø Vuõng Taøu.
”. I think it is very good.
In brief, the English version of the passage is a good translated version. It was used lot of noun phrases for translation which this help readers like to read and understand the passage easily.
Please tell me if I can replace the word “secluded” into “remote” and “popular” into “famous” because I read in some books, “famous” is better than “popular” and I also use famous to refer well-known and beautiful places.


Translation version from CTU ( English version )
Khoa Luật được thành lập vào tháng hai năm 2000 trên cơ sở phát triển từ Bộ môn Luật được thành lập vào tháng chín năm 1998. Khoa Luật giữ vai trò đào tạo nguồn nhân lực trình độ Cử nhân Luật cho vùng đồng bằng Sông Cửu Long. Bên cạnh đó, Khoa cũng thực hiện hình thức đào tạo, bồi dưỡng nâng cao trình độ cho cán bộ, công chức đương nhiệm một số tỉnh. Trong tương lai gần, Khoa sẽ đào tạo nguồn nhân lực ở trình độ Thạc sĩ Luật. Bên cạnh nhiệm vụ đào tạo, nhiệm vụ nghiên cứu khoa học được Khoa rất quan tâm.
The Faculty of Law was founded in February 2000 on the ground of the Law Department founded in September 1998. The Faculty has a role to train Bachelor of Laws for the Mekong River Delta. The Faculty also trains legal officers for some provinces. In the near future the Faculty will train Master of Laws. The Faculty attaches importance to the scientific research.
My comment:
In the first sentence “Khoa Luật được thành lập vào tháng hai năm 2000 trên cơ sở phát triển từ Bộ môn Luật được thành lập vào tháng chín năm 1998” also like “The Faculty of Law was founded in February 2000 on the ground of the Law Department founded in September 1998” I think the translator used very simple words and grammar structures.So, the english version is not good and special one.In the whole translated version, the translator didn’t use noun phrases and choose suitable word to make a better one. As a result, the translated version is not good, strong and convinced enough to persua readers. I think it will be better if we ued the word “based on” to replace “ on the ground”. The english version also lack of “phat trien” like Vietnamese passage.secondly, “giu vai tro chu dao” was translated “has a role” I don’t think it is good.Why we use “play an important role in …”And it made me confused ( I really don’t know the using of “school of” and “faculty”, which is better ?
The last sentence is also not good because it didn’t contain the maening of all sentence like Vietnammese version.

HO DINH QUOC
7044738
CLASS: A1

Duy said...

Assignment 1 – Paragraph 15 Page 18 – 19

When I see the first sentence in Vietnamese, it take some minutes to hesitate on how to tranfer it into English. The translater was very skillful to rearrange the order of the word. In the original paragraph, it says: “ Bãy Cháy là một bãi biển nhân tạo lớn dài 500m và rộng 100m nằm cạnh vịnh Hạ Long”. The translater then arranged again. He brought the term “nằm cạnh vịnh Hạ Long” after “bãi biển nhân tạo lớn”. Moreover, he put the term “bãi biển nhân tạo lớn nằm cạnh vịnh Hạ Long” between two commas in oder to support to the main subject “Bãi Cháy”. And here comes the result which look very professionally: “Bãi Cháy, a large artificial beach close to Ha Long Bay, is over 500 meters long and 100 meters wide.

The second sentence in Vietnamse is okay. However, when translating it into English, we may encouter some problems. “ Nhờ có đầu tư của Công ty du lịch Hoàng Gia mà nơi này đã trở nên nổi tiếng.” It is rather complex with a phrase beginning the sentence then lead to the following clause as the result. The translater then make it easy by put all the thing in a sentence with just one clause by making “sự đầu tư của Công ty du lịch Hoàng Gia” the subject → “Hoang Gia Tourism Company’s investment has made the site popular.”

The next translated sentence is considered as the exellent word-choosing ability. For example, “trãi nhựa” is replaced by asphalt and “uốn lượn” is replaced by winds. The sentence seems to be smoother and catchier.

The last sentence is the best one which look professional. When seeing the term “là nơi du khách có thể…”, I immediately think of the adjective clause by using where. However, the translater did not do that. He used the word “provides”. I feel rather satisfied because there are other ways to translate instead of using the stable ones. As the result, the last sentence is so nice: “ Hoang Gia Park on Ha Long Road between Bai Chay Tourist Whaft and Ha Long Night Market provides water-skiing and jet-skiing. → Khu du lịch = Tourism Wharf.

Assignment 2 – Chicken Soup for the Soul – page 50-51

Sau khi đưa hai đứa lớn đến trường, tôi lái xe đến cửa hàng tạp hóa gần đó cùng với hai đứa nhỏ, lạc quan rằng buổi sáng hôm nay có thể suôn sẻ hơn. Tôi mơ tưởng tới một chỗ đậu xe ở ngay phía trước cửa hàng, những cái túi nhựa đựng rau cải được chuẩn bị sẵn sàng, cảnh không phải đợi chờ ở quầy bán thức ăn ngon như thường lệ, đến cả việc giảm giá ở quầy Crystal Light và thuốc nhuộm tóc, rồi một người tính tiền nhanh nhẹn, thân thiện và vui vẻ chấp nhận phiếu ưu đãi mua hàng vừa mới hết hạn của tôi… Một ngày bắt đầu như thế thì còn gì hơn?

After dropping off the two elder children, I headed to the nearby grocery store with the two smaller children, opstimistic that the morning could only get better. I daydreamed about a parking space right in front, plastic vegetable bags that open, no-wait deli counters as usual, sales on Crystal Light and hair color, and a checkout person who is fast, friendly, and pleased with my just-expired coupons. What better it can be?

Comments:
This piece of translation is not so good. The way they translated the original Vietnamese writing is just the grammatical translation. For example we can see the two first sentences of the two pieces of writing. It was translated quite exactly the same as the structure of the original one with the same format. However, the word choice is okay with a various new word but suitable to the context.

Pham Tran Thanh Duy - 7044730

to nuong said...

Paragraph 46 on page 41:

There are some points that I don’t agree with the translated text or the English text.

“…as they look for a partner”: In the Vietnamese translation, people don’t care much about plural nouns, so when they wrote “ban tinh”, they means “partners” or “nhung nguoi ban tinh”. There are two ways to rewrite this sentence:
“…as they look for partners.
…as he or she looks for a partner.”
Therefore, “they” and “partners” or “he/she” and “a partner” should be used to make them in an agreement.

“…to meet again”: In the original text, the author wrote “hen gap lai nhau”, but in the translated one they wrote “meet again” . It is unclear enough for readers to understand that people there all knew each other, and that they promised to meet each other again, not to meet other people due to the word “nhau”.
It can be added and rewritten to be more meaningful : “…to meet each other again at the next…”.

Tôi đi học
Thanh Tịnh
“Hằng năm cứ vào cuối thu, lá ngoài đường rụng nhiều và trên không có những đám mây bàng bạc, lòng tôi lại nao nức nhũng kỉ niệm hoang mang của buổi tựu trường. Tôi quên thế nào được những cảm giác trong sáng ấy nảy nở trong lòng tôi như mấy cánh hoa mỉm cười giữa bầu trời quang đãng”.

“Every year, towards the end of Autumn, when the yellow leaves fall down too much to the roads and up above there gather whitish clouds in the sky, my heart is excited with the confused memories of the first day at school. How can I forget those bright feelings that blossomed in my heart like some fresh flowers smiling under the clear sky.”
(109 bài Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hậu, NXB Trẻ TPHCM)


The translated text sounds Vietnamese.When translating any Vietnamese text, we should pay attention to the content or the situation. Here the author seemed to focus on the meaning of the words, so he translated words by words. In my opinion, there are some mistakes which make the audiences confused.
“… fall down too much”: The writer meant a lot of yellow leaves, so we have to write “…so many yellow leaves fall down”. I prefer using “dead leaves” to “yellow leaves” because “yellow leaves” is ambigious.
“…to the roads”: In my opinion, it is better to write “…onto the roads”. When dead leaves feel down, they laid on the ground. As a result, the ground was covered by leaves and the writer could see the scenery which was full of dead leaves.
“how can I forget…the clear sky”: In the original text, the author wanted to show his affection and his feeling about the first day he went to school. He didn’t mean a question. However, in the translated text, the translator used a question but without a question mark at the end. This point is unreasonable.

thu said...

MỘT CÁI THƯ

Tôi viết thư cho anh tôi ở Hải Dương. Tôi lấy một tờ giấy trắng. Trên dòng đầu, tôi đề ngày tháng, dưới tôi kể những tin tức ở nhà cho anh tôi biết. Sau tôi chúc anh tôi mọi sự bình yên, rồi tôi gấp lại bỏ vào phòng bì trên dán cái tem sáu xu. Xong tôi sai người nhà đem thư ra bỏ vào thùng nhà dây thép ở cạnh nhà ga. Thế là cái thư của tôi chỉ độ chiều mai là xuống tới Hải Dương, có người đem lại tận nhà cho anh tôi.
( nguồn; 109 bài luyện dịch Việt – Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hầu biên soạn)

BÀI DỊCH ĐỀ NGHỊ

A LETTER

I write a letter to my brother who lives in Hai Duong. I take a sheet of white paper. On the first line, I write the date, then I inform him of the news concerning our family. In the end, I wish him every thing good. After that, I fold it, put it into an envelope, on which I stick a six-sous stamp. Then, I have my servant bring the letter to put it into the letter-box of the post office which is near to the station. So my letter will arrive in Hai Duong about tomorrow afternoon and it will be taken to my brother’s house.

Comment:
The translation above is taken from the book. In my opinion, this version is good and smooth. The translator changes some structures which are ambiguous so that the readers are not confused. For example, sentence ‘ tôi viết thư cho anh tôi ở Hải Dương’ can be ambiguous because I wonder if ‘ở Hai Duong’ modifies to ‘anh tôi’ or ‘tôi’. However, basing on the context that the text is appeared, we can know that ‘ở Hai Duong’ is a modifier for ‘anh tôi’ because if it doesnot modify ‘anh tôi’, ‘Tôi’ can not tell about the news in the next sentences. As a result, the relative clause is used to make clear to ‘anh tôi’. That is the point I should pay attention and shoul learn. So ithe vietnames sentence above shoul be translated as ‘I write a letter to my brother who lives in Hai Duong.’ as the author write.
Next point in the text that I like is also concerning about chaning the structure. I will take an english version ‘I inform him of the news concerning our family’. The author has a good reasonable change, although in vietnamese version just talk ‘tôi kể những tin tức ở nhà cho anh tôi biết’. He carefully analyse. As the same way of explanation, just ‘tin tức ở nhà’ is mentioned, he change it into ‘the news concerning our family’ instead of using ‘the news of the family’ in my own transation. His phrase is better and conveys the fuller meaning.
Another point that he impresses me is the way of using word. When I read the vietnamese version and I see a word ‘nhà dây thép’, I don’t know what it is. I, then, look up the vietnamese dictionary and I read the translated version, I realize that it is a post office. He uses it resonably with exact meaning.
Although the English translated version is good and smooth, it should be improved some points. Firstly, in the sentence ‘Tôi lấy một tờ giấy trắng’ in general and phrase ‘một tờ giấy trắng’ in particular, the author translate it into ‘a sheet of white paper’. In my opinion, it should be written as ‘a sheet of paper’ is enough when writing a letter and then taking a sheet of papers, we can infer that this paper is white and has nothing inside. So, it should be written as ‘a sheet of paper’ is enough. Secondly. In the phrase ‘phòng bì trên dán cái tem sáu xu’, the writer write ‘an envelope, on which I stick a six-sous stamp’. This means that he want to emphasize the action of the subject ‘I’ or ‘tôi’. In my view, the six-sous stamp has already been on the envelope, so I just want to emphasize that the stamp is already pasted. And using the verb ‘paste’, instead of ‘stick’ is more reasonable. Because the meaning of these two words nearly the same but quite different. Both mean put something closely to a surface or something; however, ‘stick’ means putting something by thrusing or by adhensive, vice versa ‘paste’ means fastening or coating with a paste. So I choose ‘paste’ because its meaning is nearly the same ‘dán’. The next point that should be pay attention is using a word ‘servant’ replacing to ‘người nhà’. I suppose that we should use a word ‘charwoman’ or ‘one member of my fanily’ or something else, because the word ‘servant’ is quite heavy. A servant is a person who employed to do domestic duties especially in a rich family. And using ‘servant’ show that there is no respect to the person who do this job. And we don’t know exactly the meaning of ‘người nhà’ in the Vietnamese version, so it is really careful in choosing word. Or some neutral words should be used. The last one that I want to disciss is in the last sentence especially in the last phrase or clause ‘…Hải Dương, có người đem lại tận nhà cho anh tôi.’. As translating, I write ‘…Hai Duong where there is a postman will deliver it to my brother’s own hands.’ I think it better because I want to emphasize ‘giao tận tay’.

Paragraph 6 page 12-13

In general, this paragraph is smooth an good. I like the way the author use words in this version. They are quite exact. In the first sentence in the translation, the author change the structure reasonably. He used passive voice to emphasize the tra Co Communal Huose is build to honor their contribution of the village. In my opinion, I will write as ‘ The Tra Co Communal House is used to honor the six gods who have great contribution to the village’s establishment. Next sentence, I think that I translate that ‘The Communal House, built in in 1550 has two wings with seven rooms for each one. In this sentence I change the structure rather than the original one. However, I was surprised that the word ‘chai’ was translated by ‘wing’. I checked up the dictionary a lot and I recognize that it is true and close to the vietnames word ‘chai’. This shows that the author is so careful in choosing an using the words. Moreover, I also encounter some where in the translated text that reflect his skill in using vocabulary. Foe example, in the text, he use ‘pillar’ replace to ‘cot’. In fact, in dictionary, I take up nearly four words: column, pillar, mast and pole that present one meaning. However, there is just one word ‘pillar’ is right in this context, the others are used in other context, not this one. In the sentence ‘Forty eight wooden pillars ….......... carvings.’, the sentence is quite complex because he uses reduced relative clause to modify the subject ‘…wooden pillars’ and he just uses one verb ‘to support’ as the main verb. In comparison to the veitnamese structure, he miss not to translate ‘…tao thanh bo hung do mai nha…’ be cause maybe it qiute difficult to translate it into English, the way he write is quite easy to understand. However, in this sentence, he uses one word that should be replaced. That is ‘intricate’. This word means complicated and confused. I donot think that the carvings are so complicated to cause the confusion to the viewers. I think it should be ‘sophisticated’. And the last sentence, I think the it’s alright; however, there is a word that should be changed. Tortoise should be used rather than ‘turtle’. Because the meaning of two words is quite the same; however, tortiose inicates the animal live in land and turtle is usually live under the sea which has flippers. So in my view, tortoise is better and it is close to the original context.

LE VIET THU
Student's code 7044741
EE01 C30

to nuong said...

Paragraph 46 on page 41:

There are some points that I don’t agree with the translated text or the English text.

“…as they look for a partner”: In the Vietnamese translation, people don’t care much about plural nouns, so when they wrote “ban tinh”, they means “partners” or “nhung nguoi ban tinh”. There are two ways to rewrite this sentence:
“…as they look for partners.
…as he or she looks for a partner.”
Therefore, “they” and “partners” or “he/she” and “a partner” should be used to make them in an agreement.

“…to meet again”: In the original text, the author wrote “hen gap lai nhau”, but in the translated one they wrote “meet again” . It is unclear enough for readers to understand that people there all knew each other, and that they promised to meet each other again, not to meet other people due to the word “nhau”.
It can be added and rewritten to be more meaningful : “…to meet each other again at the next…”.

Tôi đi học
Thanh Tịnh
“Hằng năm cứ vào cuối thu, lá ngoài đường rụng nhiều và trên không có những đám mây bàng bạc, lòng tôi lại nao nức nhũng kỉ niệm hoang mang của buổi tựu trường. Tôi quên thế nào được những cảm giác trong sáng ấy nảy nở trong lòng tôi như mấy cánh hoa mỉm cười giữa bầu trời quang đãng”.

“Every year, towards the end of Autumn, when the yellow leaves fall down too much to the roads and up above there gather whitish clouds in the sky, my heart is excited with the confused memories of the first day at school. How can I forget those bright feelings that blossomed in my heart like some fresh flowers smiling under the clear sky.”
(109 bài Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hậu, NXB Trẻ TPHCM)


The translated text sounds Vietnamese.When translating any Vietnamese text, we should pay attention to the content or the situation. Here the author seemed to focus on the meaning of the words, so he translated words by words. In my opinion, there are some mistakes which make the audiences confused.
“… fall down too much”: The writer meant a lot of yellow leaves, so we have to write “…so many yellow leaves fall down”. I prefer using “dead leaves” to “yellow leaves” because “yellow leaves” is ambigious.
“…to the roads”: In my opinion, it is better to write “…onto the roads”. When dead leaves feel down, they laid on the ground. As a result, the ground was covered by leaves and the writer could see the scenery which was full of dead leaves.
“how can I forget…the clear sky”: In the original text, the author wanted to show his affection and his feeling about the first day he went to school. He didn’t mean a question. However, in the translated text, the translator used a question but without a question mark at the end. This point is unreasonable.

to nuong said...

Paragraph 46 on page 41:

There are some points that I don’t agree with the translated text or the English text.

“…as they look for a partner”: In the Vietnamese translation, people don’t care much about plural nouns, so when they wrote “ban tinh”, they means “partners” or “nhung nguoi ban tinh”. There are two ways to rewrite this sentence:
“…as they look for partners.
…as he or she looks for a partner.”
Therefore, “they” and “partners” or “he/she” and “a partner” should be used to make them in an agreement.

“…to meet again”: In the original text, the author wrote “hen gap lai nhau”, but in the translated one they wrote “meet again” . It is unclear enough for readers to understand that people there all knew each other, and that they promised to meet each other again, not to meet other people due to the word “nhau”.
It can be added and rewritten to be more meaningful : “…to meet each other again at the next…”.

Tôi đi học
Thanh Tịnh
“Hằng năm cứ vào cuối thu, lá ngoài đường rụng nhiều và trên không có những đám mây bàng bạc, lòng tôi lại nao nức nhũng kỉ niệm hoang mang của buổi tựu trường. Tôi quên thế nào được những cảm giác trong sáng ấy nảy nở trong lòng tôi như mấy cánh hoa mỉm cười giữa bầu trời quang đãng”.

“Every year, towards the end of Autumn, when the yellow leaves fall down too much to the roads and up above there gather whitish clouds in the sky, my heart is excited with the confused memories of the first day at school. How can I forget those bright feelings that blossomed in my heart like some fresh flowers smiling under the clear sky.”
(109 bài Luyện dịch Việt-Anh, Nguyễn Thuần Hậu, NXB Trẻ TPHCM)


The translated text sounds Vietnamese.When translating any Vietnamese text, we should pay attention to the content or the situation. Here the author seemed to focus on the meaning of the words, so he translated words by words. In my opinion, there are some mistakes which make the audiences confused.
“… fall down too much”: The writer meant a lot of yellow leaves, so we have to write “…so many yellow leaves fall down”. I prefer using “dead leaves” to “yellow leaves” because “yellow leaves” is ambigious.
“…to the roads”: In my opinion, it is better to write “…onto the roads”. When dead leaves feel down, they laid on the ground. As a result, the ground was covered by leaves and the writer could see the scenery which was full of dead leaves.
“how can I forget…the clear sky”: In the original text, the author wanted to show his affection and his feeling about the first day he went to school. He didn’t mean a question. However, in the translated text, the translator used a question but without a question mark at the end. This point is unreasonable.

Phan Thang said...

Student: Phan Việt Thắng
Code: 7044739

Paragraph chosen: Par 11 (Việt Nam’s Natural Beauty)
Ha Long Bay
The paragraph is on the whole translated well, especially the word choice.
In the first sentence, the translator use the past participle “Seen” meaning that Ha Long Bay is seen by viewers from above. It’s good because we can’t use “seeing” in such a passive meaning. Then, instead of using the phrase “look like” or “be like”, the translator uses “resemble” for “trông giống” in Vietnamese source text. Though having the same idea, the word “resemle” seems to be more formal and first-rated. The use of “handkerchief” for “chieec khan tay” and “ emeralds” for “ những viên ngọc bích” are reasonable and appropriate.
We can see the good point of the translated paragraph when look at the second sentence. Instead of using the verb “ (to) have”, the translator uses “cover” that creates a general view to talk about “square” later. Using the conjunction “yet” instead of “but” is also a good one. One more, if the translator used the verb “ (to) have” in the above position, it would be repeated then when mentioning, “Ha Long Bay has 1,969 islands”. Another point that should be noticed is that the translator is so well to remain the proper names of the islands such as “ Trống Mái” or “Rùa” and then having the English explanation for those like (Cock and Hen) or (Turtle). “Đôi gà” is translated as “ a pair of chickens” is better than “two chickens” that could mean separately.
The rest of the paragraph is also translated well, but there are some points that need to be imoprove. Firstly, the use of “creation” to mean “tạo hóa” is not very correct. “Creation” seems to include something made by humans whereas “tạo hóa” could mean something automatically made by nature or naturally exists. Secondly, the clause “ his face turned out to sea as he clasps his hands in prayer to Buddha” is inserted inside the mai clause, which is not very suitable. It is better to use to start a new sentence or paraphrase it into “ …with his face turning out …”.
In short, the translator did translated well and he had his own excellent use of words. However, there are some points that need to be improved to make the ideas more convincing.

Phan Thang said...

Student: Phan Việt Thắng
Code: 7044739

“Đầu năm 2020, Việt Nam sẽ có vị trí khác hẳn hiện nay. Thế hệ trẻ Việt Nam sẽ được biết đến với hình ảnh thanh bình và tiến bộ. Họ sẽ có sự chuẩn bị tốt hơn để nghĩ về những vấn đề dài hạn như môi trường cho sự tăng tuổi thọ, những khu vực còn đói nghèo…Họ sẽ cũng phải hiểu rằng họ là “những công dân toàn cầu” hơn bây giờ.”

“Vietnam will be at a completely different position in the year of 2020. Vietnamese young generation will be known as the image of peace and progress. They will get better preparation to think of long-term issues such as environments for the longer of lives, hungry…poverty areas. They will also have to understand that they are citizens “more global” than they are at present.”

Comments:
The translation piece can convey the entire meaning of the paragraph, however, there are still many mistakes and the style is not very smooth.
Having a look at the first sentence, we can see that it is a little different from the source text. For example, “by the year 2020” would be more suitable to express “ đầu năm 2020”. The word “as” should be replaced by “with” to say that Vietnamese young people are living in a peaceful and progressive country. It is not likely to say that “Vietnamese young generation is the image of peace and progress”. “ The longer of lives” as well as “hungry…poverty areas” are grammatically and semantically wrong in this context. It should be changed into “longevity improvement” and “regions in poverty”
The word “understand” in the last sentence is not likely to be the best choice. Another word that can fit this problem may be the word “realize”. The phrase “more global” seems to be used to express that the citizens are more global, which could make nonsense. On the other hand, the aim of the source text is to confirm that Vietnamese young people should be more active and co-opertated in the world integration. So, the sentence should be rewritten like “ They will have to realize that they are citizens of a more global environment rather than now”.

minh said...

Bai Cua Doan Thi Thuy Hang
MSSV: 7044731
Muon Tai khoan Gmail cua Nguyen Thi Minh Due


Vietnam-Russia want to develop
practical strategic partnership

At the talks between Vietnamese Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung and his Russian counterpart, Mikhail Fradkov, the two sides confirmed that they would exert efforts to develop the strategic relationship more effectively and practically.

The talks between the two PMs were described as “straightforward, constructive and successful”.

The Russian PM said that President Vladimir Putin, who recently paid two visits to Vietnam, “remembered the latest visit to Vietnam with impressions about the achievements of a renovating country”.

Viet-Nga muon co đoi tac chen luoc thiet thuc

Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao giữa Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng và người đồng nhiệm Mikhail Fradkov, hai bên khẳng định sẽ nỗ lực để phát triển mối quan hệ đối tác chiến lược một cách thiết thực và hiệu quả hơn.

Cuộc hội đàm giữa hai người đứng đầu Chính phủ được Thủ tướng Việt Nam mô tả là "thẳng thắn, xây dựng, thành công".

Ông Fradkov nói rằng Tổng thống Vladimir Putin gần đây đã sang thăm Việt Nam hai lần, và bản thân ông, "nhớ lại chuyến thăm Việt Nam gần nhất với ấn tượng về thành tựu của một quốc gia đang đổi mới".


This is the section of the article translated into English. So, it focuses much on the main information and ideas instead of polishing words. In fact, the words in the English text show press language. Generally, the orders of the words in English text do not change a lot in comparison with the Vietnamese text. However, there are some matters in the English version need to be commented. First, in the title of the article: “Việt-Nga muốn có đối tác chiến lược thiết thực” – “Viet-Nga want to develop practical strategic partnership”. The expression” muốn có” is translated into “want to develop”, not “want to have”. Here, although it has a little change about the meaning, it can be accepted because the title should be understood “Viet-Nga want to have practical strategic for their developing about many fields. So, if we translate “muốn có” – “want to have”, it can not manifest adequately the meaning of the title. Second, in the next sentence: “Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao” – “At the talks”. I think that it should not skip the word “cấp cao” because it refers to the particularity of the talks. Hence, if I were the translator, I would translate “Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao” into “At the high-ranking talks”. Third, in the phrase, “hai bên”-“two sides”. I believe that the phrase “two sides” is rather informal. Therefore, it should be “two government officials”. On the whole, however good and informative the above English text is, it is not very professional.

Get more information with
English.vietnamnet.vn



Viet Nam's Natural Beauty
Page: 36-37


I chose this paragraph because I like the way translators used expertly their own English in translating. For example: “cách Hà Nội 380 km về phía tây” – “Located some 380 kilometers northwest of Hanoi”. The order of words English text are totally different from the in the source text. The translators did not use any preposition to translate the word “cách”, on the contrary”, they used a past participle “located’ for the beginning of the text. This English structure is often used in magazines or newspapers. So, it will make the version more professional. Moreover, the word “located’ can manifest the situation of Sa Pa compared with Ha Noi. Another thing makes me wonder that is the position of the word “some” in the phrase “some 380 kilometers. Here, it shows an estimation of distance; however people rarely use “some” in such case. So, in my opinion, it’s better if we change the word “some” into “about”. Another preposition in this sentence “về” is not translated into English. I think the skipping is acceptable and reasonable because “về” can be considered as an expletive in this case. Indeed, if I have to translate the Vietnamese text into the English text word by word, it would be “Far from Ha Noi 380 kilometers in northwest direction”. I think the above translation can be accepted although its structure as well as word choice are not excellent. The next sentence “thị trấn Sa Pa nằm trên độ cao 1.56o km so với mực nước biển tại chân núi Pan Xi Pang, ngọn núi cao nhất Việt Nam.” – “the town of Sa Pa perches at 1.560 meters above sea level at the foot of the Mount Pan Si Pan, the highest mountain in Vietnam. In these sentences, the order of words is the same. As we know, the basic English sentence pattern is formed on the noun phrase. So, the Vietnamese structure sometimes is not the same as English structure. In the expression “thị trấn Sa Pa” – “the town of Sa Pa”, we have to use the preposition “of” for a such translating noun phrase. In this sentence, I pay much attention to the word “perches”. In my opinion, I think it’s the good word for this situation because we can not tranalate “nằm trên” – “lie up” or repeat the word “locate” many times. The last sentence “Người ta không ngạc nhiên khi Sa Pa trở nên nổi tiếng với cái tên “Thành phố trong mây” – “And so, it is no surprise that Sa Pa has earned its reputation as the “Town in the Clouds”. The phrase “And so” is considered as a conjunction, its meaning is not important. So, we can add it or skip it. Here, although there is a different structure “Người ta không ngạc nhiên” – “It is no surprise that”, the meaning between the structure is equivalent. In English, people usually prefer to use a pattern “It + be + adj/noun + clause to focus attention on certain information or emphasize the information. Hence, the using this structure is the good way in this case for emphasizing. Another point, “Sa Pa trở nên nổi tiếng với cái tên” – “Sa Pa has earned its reputation as”. When I read this sentence, I was confused to the word “earned” because we often say “earn money” or earn one’s living. So, I had to look up dictionary to find its extra meaning. I was actually surprise because it has another meaning in Vietnamese “giành được sự khen ngợi”. For this reason, using the word “earned” here can be accepted and it will take place of the word “become – a primary word”. In the sentence, the translators also replace the phrase “với cái tên” with “as”. Although we can translate “với cái tên” into “with the name”, the word “as” in this case is better because it will make the structure simpler and clearer. In generally, the version is good at word choice. Besides, although it has some changes in the order of words and structures, the idea and content of the version reach to the equivalence to the source text.

hong said...

From “A cup of chicken soup for the soul”
“ Ba ơi,bàn thắng này con dành tặng ba đấy !” cậu bé Matthew Ryan Enrich chưa đầy 9 tuổi hét to vừa ngước nhìn bầu trời vừa chạy quanh sân với hai năm tay giơ cao. Với tư cách là một thành viên thi đấu cho đội Little League, Matthew vừa mới đánh được một quả bóng ăn điểm trực tiếp đầu tiên ,một thắng lợi cho đội bóng trong mơ của cậu.
“That’s one for you,Daddy!”,yelled Matthew Ryan Enrich, not yet nine, looking to the sky, as he circled the bases with his fist held high. Matthew had just hit his first home run_as a member of his Little League team_ a grand slam on his “Field of Dreams”.
Comment
Firstly, the boy said “ Ba ơi, bàn thắng này con dành cho ba đấy”, however we just see “ That one’s for you,Daddy!”. If we don’t read the whole paragraph, we won’t know what “one” is. The second one, the writer uses “circled the bases” instead of “ran around the yard”. In addition, the writer uses “yelled”not “shouted”,because the word “yell” can describe the boy’s feeling. He was so happy that he yelled and ran around the yard. The phrase “ ăn điểm trực tiếp đầu tiên”, I think that phrase belongs to sport, it’s very difficult to translate word by word. One more thing, the writer uses “ Field of Dreams” not “Team of Dream”. We can see that the English translation is very professional and skillful and not veryclose with Vietnamese one.

Paragraph 14.
This paragraph describes Ha Long bay at sunset. Firstly, “vào lúc hoàng hôn”,I will use “ at the sunset”, “ the sunset” will help the reader think that they are enjoying the sunset in Ha Long bay at that time. Secondly, the writer uses “the landscape” instead of “the scene”. I think “the landscape “ is more general and the scene can open in the reader’s mind a beautiful place. One more thing, “ sau lúc hoàng hôn” is translated “after the moon climbs into the sky”. We can see that the writer use the word “climb”, he uses personification to describe the moon,it’s very special. Besides, in English text,it lacks of the words “ lấp lánh”. Finally, he uses “reflect off” to translate “hắt”,I think it is suitable. In conclusion, the two paragraph has close meaning, when we English or Vietnamese text, we can imagine the marvelous beauty of Ha Long bay.
Hong.7044733

tien said...

Book: Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty page 36
Việt Nam cũng nổi tiếng với những cảnh đẹp núi non đa dạng.Ở cả ba miền Bắc Trung Nam đều có thực vật và động vật phong phú và độc đáo, các con suối và thác nước.nhiều vùng núi của Việt Nam đã trở thành những nơi nghỉ mát nổi tiếng đối với du khách.

Viet Nam also boasts a varied mountainous landscape. Each of its three geographical zones-north, center, and south-has abundant and unique flora and fauna, streams and waterfalls. Many of Viet Nam’s mountainous regions have become popular resorts for tourists.

Comments:
Generally, the English translation is good, easy to understand and follows the ideas of Vietnamese text. However, I wonder that the way of using some words whether express exactly the meaning of original words or not. For instance, “nổi tiếng” is translated into “ boasts” and I think this word brings another meaning not “ nổi tiếng”. And why does the author use “varied” not “various” and how is “varied” different from “various”?In my opinion, both two words have the same meaning in the text. One more thing, “a mountainous landscape” does not show plural noun of Vietnamese text- những cảnh đẹp núi non đa dạng. If so, I’m sure that the word “its” in the second sentence stands for “a varied mountainous landscape” and the readers understand the translation in another way, of course or it makes the readers ambiguous. In addition, there is no reason to add “geographical” here. In my opinion, whenever you list the name of regions of Vietnam, of course they belong to “geography”. However, I can not disagree that adding “geographical” is a creativity of the author. Finally, my idea on the last sentence is that it can be better to use “mountain regions” than “mountainous regions”, I think. Thus, my translation can be:

“Vietnam is also popular with various/varied mountainous landscapes. Each of Vietnam’s three regions- north, center, and south- has abundant and unique flora and fauna, streams and waterfalls. Many of Vietnam’s mountain regions have become popular resorts for tourists.”

Book: A cup of chicken soup for the soul page 12

Quẳng máy hút bụi vào nhà kho, tôi cố nén tiếng thở dài. Cả nữa ngày trời lo dọn dẹp nhà cửa mà tôi vẫn chưa chuẩn bị xong để đón tiếp những vị khách sắp đến chơi. Bốn đứa con nhỏ thi nhau chơi trò đuổi bắt, giày dép cùng với đồ chơi bừa bãi khắp nhà, những mẩu bánh vụn vung vãi trên tấm thảm mà chỉ mới đây chưa hề có vết bẩn nào.

Shoving the vacuum into its home in the hall closet, I stifled a groan. A half-day of housework behind me and I still wasn’t ready for the out-of-state company expected any very soon minute. My four small children whirled through, leaving a wake of toys, crumbs and stray shoes scattered across the recently trackless carpet.

Comments:
It seems that the translator is so skillful and experienced that he/she creates the smooth and professional translation. I’m really attracted by the way of arranging the words together as well as word-choice. For example, instead of using the verb “throw the vacuum away”, the author chooses “shove” which expresses exactly the meaning of Vietnamese word. We can not use “throw the vacuum away” like the use of “throw paper away..”. Besides, “shove” encloses the feeling of “angry” of the character. So, “shove” is the best choice of word. Although the English text is so good, there are some unsuitable points that make me confuse and disagree. There are still some unexactly words. The word “groan” expresses the sound of suffering the pain but in the text, it is the sound of tiredness. Thus, it should be changed into “sigh” than “groan”. And if just looking at the English translation: “I still wasn’t ready for the out-of-state company expected any very soon minute”, the Vietnamese translation can not be finished. It is very difficult for readers to link between two texts. In addition, why don’t the author write “be absorbed in catching game” instead of “whirled through” because this phrase looks strange and does not follow the Vietnamese text. In addition, I wonder what does “its home in the hall closet” mean? By the way, the English translation made a deep impression on me. I really learnt much from the translation. Finally, let me have another translation like:

“Shoving the vacuum into the warehouse, I stifled a sigh. Spending a half-day of housework but I still wasn’t ready to welcome company coming in some minutes. My four small children were absorbed in catching together, leaving a wake of toys, crumbs and stray shoes scattered across the recently trackless carpet”

Tien 7044742

Dao Thi Luong said...

Book:VIET NAM’S NATURAL BEAUTY
Comment on “What is special about visiting the sites of Viet Nam’s natural beauty?” (page 8-9)
Generally, the English translation text follows the Vietnamese one very closely but it still sounds English. It expresses the ideas very clearly by keeping the structures and the proper names of the Vietnamese text, except in the second paragraph, the long sentence “Người Việt Nam ví nước mình … hẹp miền Trung.”,when translated into English, it becomes 3 smaller sentences otherwise it will be a run-on sentence, an error in written English. In my opinion, that’s one among many techniques that the translator uses to gain the quality for the translation text.
First, in the title,the translator uses the preposition phrase “ … about visiting the sites of Viet Nam’s natural beauty” very cleverly in stead of translating it into a sentence as in the Vietnamese text. Then, s/he uses two nouns “Diversity and safety” as a sentence without subject and verb in order to emphasize the features of Viet Nam’s natural beaty. The selection of words in the translation text make it more interesting to read and more exact. In stead of using “Abundance” for “phong phú”, the translator uses “Diversity” which also means “phong phú” but it is more suitable in the context. The word “an toàn” is translated into “safe and secure” which broadens the idea in the Vietnamese text.
In the second paragraph, the word “nằm” is translated into “bordering” instead of “lying”. “Bodering” indicates that Viet Nam is next to the Eastern Sea, so it more exact than “lying”. Then the word “ví” is translated equivalently into “describe”.The translator has a good choice of word use when choosing words that are suitable for the context. For example,
“đời”- translated into “centuries” not “generations”
“tập quán” translated into “practices” not “customs”
Or “mối quan hệ” translated into “tie” not “relationship”.
In the third paragraph, the word “intrigued” is used very appropriately.
On the whole, the English translation text is very good, it sticks to the original text but it still sounds English and easy to understand.

Dao Thi Luong said...

Book: LUYỆN DỊCH VIỆT –ANH, quyển 4. Tác giả: Hồ Văn Hòa.Nxb Đà Nẵng.
Bài 94- TRÊN DÒNG CỬU LONG, trang 208.
Paragraph 1:
Vietnamese text:
Được phù sa của dòng Cửu Long hùng vĩ làm cho phong phú, vựa lúa đầy ắp này tượng trưng cho nguồn lương thực quốc gia và phong cách sống cận kề sông nước đặc thù của cư dân mình.
English tranlation text:
Enriched by silt from the mighty Mekong River (or the Cuu Long River; the River of Nine Dragons) this full rice granary represents a national source of nourishment and a special, aquatic way of life of its inhabitants.
Comment:
The translation text sticks to the original one very firmly from the structure to the meaning. The translator uses very suitable words to tranfer the ideas in Vietnamese into English. For example, s/he uses “silt” for “phù sa”; “mighty” for “hùng vĩ”; “full” for “đầy ắp” or “aquatic” for “cận kề sông nước”. In general, the translation text has transferred the close meaning from the Vietnamese text but it still sounds English.

Vo said...

Paragraph 22, page24-25

The translation of this paragraph is okay and there are a couple of things to be discussed.

In the first sentence, the translator used the word “selected” to translate the word “chọn” into English instead of using the word “chose”. This is a good choice because “selecting” is choosing something carefully while choosing is just deciding to choose one of others available. Nguyen Huu Cau must have thought carefully to choose a location for his troops to live. That’s why the translator choose the word “selected”. In this sentence, we can also see the word “navy camp” translated from “căn cứ hải quân”. However, I don’t think choosing the word “camp” is a good decision. Camp is a place where soldiers live while they are training or fighting. It is not the main place for soldiers to live. It is just a temporary place. In my opinion, the word “base” is the best choice because base is a place where an army, a navy or an air force operates from. So the navy base of Nguyen Huu Cau is where he operated his soldiers, it is not a temporary location.

In the second sentence, the phrase “ngày 9 tháng 8 âm lịch” is translated into “the ninth day of the eighth lunar month”. I think it is not necessary to use such a long phrase like that. For me, I just use “the ninth of August in Lunar Calendar”. Next, one thing to be discussed is the use of the phrase “in conjunction with”. I think this phrase is better than the word “and” as well as “with”. Finally, if I were the translator, I wouldn’t use the word “grew from” to translate the word “bắt nguồn từ”. I would use the word “had the origin of”. I think it’s better.
Vo Chanh Truc 7044744 Class 1

myxuyen said...

Par.73.page 21
Actually, I feel this is a rather complete verson from English to Vietnamese. If there is not the handout, perhaps I don’t know how to translate a good paragraph like this.Moreover, in English version,translator know how to arrange word and choose which word suitable in sentence.For example,in the first sentence: “nằm về phía đông nam và cách miền Nam Việt Nam 200 km”is translated by “situated 200km southest of southern Vietnam”. sometimes it also makes me embarassed about the way to choose which one to be translated first or not.Besides, the second sentence maybe an example.Especially in English version, we don’t see the parentheses appear but in vietnamese version has.I also wonder maybe this is not important to use parentheses any more to express that ideas.
Thank to the handout,if there is not handout, maybe I never know how to express the last sentence.We can see the difference between 2 versions clearly. But I think in English version a little bit lacking of the ideas that the Vietnamese version contain: “Du khách sẽ đi ngang qua” but this is not translated in English version.
We can see this English version seem to be good, however it still not paralel between 2 versions
In general,I will keep some sentence in english version.in addition, I will translate the secend sentence like this: “when arriving to Con Son Island( the largest one in the archipelago) by using helicopter, visitor will see the rich tropical forest, long white beaches and coral reef".
Actually, I feel interestin with this translation because it help me improve my English translation a lot.

Vietnamese artice: SÁCH TÔN GIÁO VÀ LICHGJ SỬ VĂN MINH NHÂN LOẠI
CUỘC ĐỜI ĐỨC PHẬT
Thái tử lên 7 tuổi, nhà vua bèn mời các danh sư đến giảng dạy cho thái tử kinh Pàncavidỳa(ngũ kinh) va 4 kinh veda(phệ đà) là những kinh sách chứa đựng tri thức học thuyết cao nhất Ấn Độ thời bấy giờ.Thái tử thiên tư thông tuệ, nghe một biết mười, đến năm 12 tuổi đã thấu triệt thông làu những tri thức trong sách đó.

English article: RELIGIOUS BOOK AND MANKINDKIND CIVILIZATION HISTORY
THE LIFE OF BUDDHA
English article
At the age of seven, the Prince began to study under famous tutors hired by the king to teach the most profound Indian learning at the time-the five branches of knowledge and the four Vedas.The Prince was born wise and smart.he had a good grasp of all the knowledge at the age of twelve.
My comment
Thank to the handout, if i do not have it,perhaps i never have and never understand such a good translation like this one.Actually, there are a lot of surprising to me,especially I always wonder why tranlator use"Buddhism" in thi place but not using "Buddha".In addition,I feel confused of word choice in translation.we can see the firt sentense: "Nhà vua bèn mời các danh sư đến giảng dạy cho thái tử..."but in english verion is: "the Prince began to study under famous tutors hired by the king ...".that is the differece between passive and active way.I never think I can translate like this because my habit of translation just rely on what the sentence order.Even,without this English version,I do not how to translate"thiên tư, thông tuệ, nghe một biết mười, thấu triệt thông làu" into English.Maybe in English they are "wise, smart..etc.I do not sure whether it is exact or not.but anyway,it is so good.And I think this also gives me a lesson of translation: it is somtimes need to change position of word in translation and not just depend on meaning or word oder in the article or the things you want to translate.
LÊ THỊ MỸ XUYÊN(7044746)
SƯ PHẠM ANH 01 K30

honghieuspa1 said...

Heritage.May/June. 2004 Nhat anh. Celebrate Tet. P15
Người xông đất
Theo tục lệ, người đến thăm nhà đầu tiên gọi là người xông nhà, xông đất (Ở miền Trung còn gọi là “đạp đất hay “đập đất”). Vào sáng mồng một, con cháu trong nhà chưa được đi ra ngoài chúc tết cho đến khi có người đến xông nhà. Người ta tin rằng người xông đất có vai trò đặc biệt có thể ảnh hưởnh đến vận mệnh của cả gia đình trong suốt năm đó. Vì thế, có khi người nhà phải tìm hiểu tuổi tác, tính tình của người định mời xông đất từ trước xem vía người đó có tốt, có hợp với gia chủ hay không. Có nơi sau khi cả gia đình cùng xuất hành đi lễ chùa, lễ đền miếu trở về thì thường để người tốt vía, tính tình cởi mở trong gia đình tự vào xông đất.
Thường người xông đất đem theo một bánh pháo, đến cửa gia chủ đốt cho pháo nổ ran nhà cho tà bỏ chạy, để hạnh phúc tràn tới. sau đo chúc mùng gia chủ với những lời tốt đẹp nhất.


First visitor
According to custom, the first person to visit a home in the New year must be someone who will bring good luck and prosperity to the family. That person must be good character and is usually a man. Only once that person has entered the home can children leave it to present Tet greeting to their elders.
If the visitor is not a family member, he should be invited before entering and will bring with him a firecracker, which he will light at the gate before entering the home and offering his greetings to the family inside. According to ancient beliefs, the firecracker will chase away ghost while letting happiness in.

Comment for this translation
In the English version, we can see it is shorter than Vietnamese one.
The term người xông nhà, xông đất is skipped in English version, I think the writer skip it because in English tradition, people don’t have that custom and it is difficult for him to explain exactly. In English translation, writer explain about who is call first person to visit one family is that he will bring good luck to the family. That person must have some good character and must be a man.
The line“ Only once that person has entered the home can children leave it to present Tet greeting to their elders”: is arranged in the last sentence in paragraph. First he write about the appear of first person, and what character he has. Then he write about action of people in the family( they only can go out after his visiting) . It sound logical in the length of time. Or in other words he wrote about who the first person is, he appears and what people do after his visiting.
The nxt paragraph is good and the meaning is same to the English translation



Comment of the core text: Canh dep thien nhien Viet Nam
P8 paragraph 1
When you read the first sentence What is special about visiting the sites of Viet nam’s natural beauty? First sentence in E translation there is no pronoun like you, but in the Vietnamese translation, there is one pronoun Bạn in bạn thấy gì đặc biệt khi thăm cảnh đẹp thiên nhiên của Việt nam? Two translations is diferent because each has to be written with their own language style. In second sentence safety have the meaning of feeling safe. Why he used the two nouns diversity and safety, I think that the writer use them to emphasize what is special in Vietnam is that diversity and safety .in term of sound, it is more expressed. He use The sites of Viet nam‘s natural beauty, and in 1st sentence, but he use natural landscapes. Both have the same meaning but he use different word to avoid repeating word, a way let reader don’t feel boring to read.
He use many different ethnic groups is not good, many ethnic groups can provide the meaning of different ethnic groups.
In 3rd sentence why he use safe and secure. Both of them make the reader feel more reliable, and think of visiting Vetnam.

trang said...

Paraphrase 4 Page13


The translator is good to change Vietnamese words “bờ biển trải dài 3.000 km” into an English noun phrase “3,000-kilometre coastline”, and use it for a subject in the sentence.
I also like the way the translator translates the phrases “tỉnh Quảng Ninh ở phía Bắc” into “the northern province of Quang Ninh” and “tỉnh Cà Mau ở phía cực Nam” into “Vietnam’s southern-most province of Ca Mau”.
The translator is successful to choose the word “coastline” to translate “bờ biển”. With the meaning of “bờ biển”, we also have the word “seashore” but the translator does not use it. “Coastline” is the line of the seashore, so it is more appropriate for using “coastline” than “seashore” because there is measure of 3,000-kilometre length.
I recognize that the translator does not translate word by word, but bases on the meaning of the source text.
Besides, he uses clear structures to translate, for example: “stretch from…to…” “range from…to…” and relative pronoun “that” to link two clauses of a sentence.

On the other hand, there are some things I disagree with the translator.
Firstly, I do not like he uses conjunction “and” (line4). If he uses “and”, the phrase “Vietnam’s 3,000-kilometre coastline” will be the subject in the sentence “Việt Nam có nhiều đảo, vịnh và bãi biển…và sôi động”. But in this sentence, “ Viet Nam” is the subject. So it is impossible to use “and”. I have another translation: “, therefore Viet Nam has a lot of islands, bays, and beaches”. I use conjunction “therefore” between two clauses of the sentence.
Secondly, I disagree when the translator translates the phrase “những nơi hẻo lánh và lãng mạn và những nơi nổi tiếng và sôi động” into “the secluded and romantic to the popular and sporty”. I have a different translation: “ romantic and remote regions to bustling and popular ones” .I wonder why the translator translates “hẻo lánh” into “secluded” not “remote”. “Secluded” means screen from view, “remote” means far apart, distant (area, region). According to me, adjective “remote” is more appropriate than “secluded”. I also disagree when the translator use the word “sporty” with the meaning “sôi động” because it means being fond of sport. I think the translator should use the word “bustling”. It means active, lively. It is suitable to mention to the life of a region.

NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7044743

MÙA ĐÔNG Ở HUẾ
Mùa đông ở Huế thật là khó chịu. Ở Bắc Việt trời lạnh nhưng ráo ,một cái lạnh làm cho người tráng kiện và thôi thúc ta hoạt động. Còn ở đây, trái lại, trời mưa tầm tả, hết tuần này sang tuần khác, liên miên, tưởng như không bao giờ dứt. Mọi vật đều ẩm ướt, không khí nặng nề bao trùm lên mọi vật và tưởng như sống trong một cảnh lao tù, thiếu ánh sáng, thiếu tiếng chim hót, phải sống trong khung cảnh chật hẹp, mọi hoạt động đều tê liệt.


Thạch Lam

THE WINTER AT HUẾ
The winter at Huế is very unpleasant. In North Vietnam, it’s cold but dry; a cold makes everybody vigorous and exciting to work. Whereas, here, it rains cats and dogs, week after week, continuously and seems never to stop. Everything becomes moist, the sultry air covers the whole scenery and everybody feels as if they were in a prison, which is short of sunlight, birdsong, (as if they) lives in a confined space and all activities were immobile.

***********************************

I agree with the translator when he uses “unpleasant” for translating Vietnamese word “khó chịu”. There are many English words having meaning of ”khó chịu” such as: insupportable, disagreeable. But “unpleasant” is the most appropriate word. We use “unpleasant” for smells, and weather.
I think it is not necessary to translate Vietnamese words “một cái lạnh” into English “a cold” but readers can also understand .I think it should be used relative pronoun “which”. “In North-Vietnam, it’s cold but dry, which makes everybody…”
One more thing I disagree with the translator is his word usage. He translates “tráng kiện” into “vigorous” but “vigorous” does not mean “tráng kiện”. “Tráng kiện” means strong, healthy, hale and hearty. It is used for health of the old. So the words should be used here are “ strong, healthy, or hale and hearty”.
I like the phrase “cats and dogs”. It’s a metaphor. “It rains cats and dogs” means “it rains heavily”.
“Sultry” means “hot and close” in English. In Vietnamese, it means “oi bức, ngột ngạt”. “ Không khí nặng nề ” does not mean “hot weather”. So “sultry’ is not appropriate in this situation. “Không khí nặng nề” means lacking fresh, air, light. Therefore the most appropriate word is “stuffy”.

NGUYỄN THỊ MINH TRANG
7044743

THI BINH said...

CẢNH ĐẸP THIÊN NHIÊN VIỆT NAM
PARAGRAPHS: 126,127,128
In paragraph 126, I quite agree with the author in translating the phrase “ các môn thể thao mạo hiểm” as “ adventure sports” instead of “ adventurous sports” because the sports themselves are an adventure. However, I suppose that we should translate “ nghiên cứu động thực vật quý hiếm” as “ studying its rare flora and fauna” instead of “ studying rare flora and fauna”.
In paragraph 127, I prefer to use the word “ made it Đa Thiện lake” instead of “ created Đa Thiện lake” when translating the phrase “ tạo thành hồ Đa Thiện”.
In paragraph 128, I think we should translate “ Rừng thiên đường” as “ The Forest of Paradise” instead of “ The Forest of Elysium” because the meaning of Paradise sounds better than that of Elysium. Besides, “ khung cảnh thiên nhiên nguyên sơ” should be translated as “its primary natural setting”, not as “ its raw, natural setting”.








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- The phrase ‘ cơ quan của trung ương Đảng cộng sản Việt nam” is translated into English without the word “ của” to make it a noun phrase “ communist party of Vietnam central committee”. Can I translate it like this? : “The Vietnamese communist party’s central committee”. I think both are suitable because we need the word ‘ of Vietnam” while Vietnamese is an adjective , so it can stand before the noun phrase “ communist party”. However, according to the meaning of the word Vietnamese : NgườI Việt Nam which will make foreigners think that there is no one else except Vietnamese belonging to this party. As we know, in Vietnam the Communist party is the only one, so “ of Vietnam” will stand for the whole country.
- In Vietnamese, there are two words “ thờI sự” while being translated into English, they become “news and events”. This is due to the difference between two languages. Similarly, we need the word “ affairs” in “ social affairs” and “ foreign affairs” when translating “ xã hộI” and “ thế giớI” to make it understood clearer. Without that word, we can not guess what the author is going to write about if we use the word “ society”.
- “ Những vấn đề toàn cầu” is translated into English as : “ World: Events and Comments”. I wonder why we don’t use the words “ global problems” . And I answer we should not because “ global problems” are too general while this newspaper talks about events and offer its comments for issues all over the world.
- The word “ thế giớI nói về Việt nam “ is translated as “ Vietnam in foreigners’ eyes” makes me interested in this translation style. It is quite a good translation when we answer the question: “ Who talks about Vietnam?”- Foreigners, but why don’t we translate it as “ Foreigners’ talks on Vietnam” . It seems that we will lose its beautiful meaning and add something more serious to “ the talks on Vietnam”. If so, for foreigners the word Vietnam is just on serious talks, not in real life. How can they express their love on Vietnamese food or write down their admiration on Vietnam’s landscapes on such items of the newspaper?

minh said...

Doan Thi Thuy Hang
7044731
Group1


Vietnam-Russia want to develop practical strategic partnership

At the talks between Vietnamese Prime Minister Nguyen Tan Dung and his Russian counterpart, Mikhail Fradkov, the two sides confirmed that they would exert efforts to develop the strategic relationship more effectively and practically.

The talks between the two PMs were described as “straightforward, constructive and successful”.

The Russian PM said that President Vladimir Putin, who recently paid two visits to Vietnam, “remembered the latest visit to Vietnam with impressions about the achievements of a renovating country”.

Việt-Nga muốn có đối tác chiến lược thiết thực
Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao giữa Thủ tướng Nguyễn Tấn Dũng và người đồng nhiệm Mikhail Fradkov, hai bên khẳng định sẽ nỗ lực để phát triển mối quan hệ đối tác chiến lược một cách thiết thực và hiệu quả hơn.

Cuộc hội đàm giữa hai người đứng đầu Chính phủ được Thủ tướng Việt Nam mô tả là "thẳng thắn, xây dựng, thành công".

Ông Fradkov nói rằng Tổng thống Vladimir Putin gần đây đã sang thăm Việt Nam hai lần, và bản thân ông, "nhớ lại chuyến thăm Việt Nam gần nhất với ấn tượng về thành tựu của một quốc gia đang đổi mới".

Comment:

This is the section of the article translated into English. So, it focuses much on the main information and ideas instead of polishing words. In fact, the words in the English text show press language. Generally, the orders of the words in English text do not change a lot in comparison with the Vietnamese text. However, there are some matters in the English version need to be commented. First, in the title of the article: “Việt-Nga muốn có đối tác chiến lược thiết thực” – “Viet-Nga want to develop practical strategic partnership”. The expression” muốn có” is translated into “want to develop”, not “want to have”. Here, although it has a little change about the meaning, it can be accepted because the title should be understood “Viet-Nga want to have practical strategic for their developing about many fields. So, if we translate “muốn có” – “want to have”, it can not manifest adequately the meaning of the title. Second, in the next sentence: “Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao” – “At the talks”. I think that it should not skip the word “cấp cao” because it refers to the particularity of the talks. Hence, if I were the translator, I would translate “Tại cuộc hội đàm cấp cao” into “At the high-ranking talks”. Third, in the phrase, “hai bên”-“two sides”. I believe that the phrase “two sides” is rather informal. Therefore, it should be “two government officials”. On the whole, however good and informative the above English text is, it is not very professional.

Get more information with
English.vietnamnet.vn



Page: 36-37
Paragraph 40

Comment:

I chose this paragraph because I like the way translators used expertly their own English in translating. For example: “Cách Hà Nội 380 km về phía tây” – “Located some 380 kilometers northwest of Hanoi”. The order of words English text are totally different from the source text. The translators did not use any prepositions to translate the word “cách”, on the contrary”, they used a past participle “located’ for the beginning of the text. This English structure is often used in magazines or newspapers. So, it will make the version more professional. Moreover, the word “located’ can manifest the situation of Sa Pa compared with Ha Noi. Another thing makes me wonder that is the position of the word “some” in the phrase “some 380 kilometers. Here, it shows an estimation of distance; however people rarely use “some” in such case. So, in my opinion, it’s better if we change the word “some” into “about”. Another preposition in this sentence “về” is not translated into English. I think the skipping is acceptable and reasonable because “về” can be considered as an expletive in this case. Indeed, if I have to translate the Vietnamese text into the English text word by word, it would be “Far from Ha Noi 380 kilometers in northwest direction”. I think the above translation can be accepted although its structure as well as word choice are not excellent. The next sentence “thị trấn Sa Pa nằm trên độ cao 1.56o km so với mực nước biển tại chân núi Pan Xi Pang, ngọn núi cao nhất Việt Nam.” – “the town of Sa Pa perches at 1.560 meters above sea level at the foot of the Mount Pan Si Pan, the highest mountain in Vietnam. In these sentences, the order of words is the same. As we know, the basic English sentence pattern is formed on the noun phrase. So, the Vietnamese structure sometimes is not the same as English structure. In the expression “thị trấn Sa Pa” – “the town of Sa Pa”, we have to use the preposition “of” for a such translating noun phrase. In this sentence, I pay much attention to the word “perches”. In my opinion, I think it’s the good word for this situation because we can not translate “nằm trên” – “lie up” or repeat the word “locate” many times. The last sentence “Người ta không ngạc nhiên khi Sa Pa trở nên nổi tiếng với cái tên “Thành phố trong mây” – “And so, it is no surprise that Sa Pa has earned its reputation as the “Town in the Clouds”. The phrase “And so” is considered as a conjunction, its meaning is not important. So, we can add it or skip it. Here, although there is a different structure “Người ta không ngạc nhiên” – “It is no surprise that”, the meaning between the structures is equivalent. In English, people usually prefer to use a pattern “It + be + adj/noun + clause to focus attention on certain information or emphasize the information. Hence, the using this structure is the good way in this case for emphasizing. Another point, “Sa Pa trở nên nổi tiếng với cái tên” – “Sa Pa has earned its reputation as”. When I read this sentence, I was confused to the word “earned” because we often say “earn money” or “earn one’s living”. So, I had to look up dictionary to find its extra meaning. I was actually surprise because it has another meaning in Vietnamese “giành được sự khen ngợi”. For this reason, using the word “earned” here can be accepted and it will take place of the word “become” – “a primary word”. In the sentence, the translators also replace the phrase “với cái tên” with “as”. Although we can translate “với cái tên” into “with the name”, the word “as” in this case is better because it will make the structure simpler and clearer. In generally, the version is good at word choice. Besides, although it has some changes in the order of words as well as structures, the idea and content of the version reach to the equivalence to the source text.

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh, 7044734, EE01 K30
Page 13, passage 4

First are something that I support:
With the heading "What are the most favourite islands,bays, and beaches?", I think it's ok because we can understand very easily and can know what the translator are talking about. Furthermore, with the form of a question,the translator can make the readers curious about the passage below and want to read it. In the first sentence, I feel so surprised with "Viet Nam's 3,000-kilometre", because in the Vietnamese text: "Voi bo bien dai 3000km", we can't see the noun. In the translation text, the translator make a noun to preserve the grammar of a sentence. The word "stretches" is chosen very suitable to illustrate the length from Tra Co beach to Ca Mau cape, we can realise that geographical length. The word “co”( co nhieu dao, vinh va bai bien), I will translate “has” instead of "includes", but "includes" is better because it can used to group " islands, bays, and beaches" in one group but "has" can't. The final word is "bao gom" is translated into "range", although "range" doesn't have the closest meaning with " bao gom", it's suitable because of the effect of " from... to" after it. The traslator is very successful in this combination because he can use it to list 4 things follow and devide them into 2 group, it makes the paragraph easier to read and understand.
Second are something I don't agree:
In this passage, there are some words "bai bien", but it's translated by 2 different words "beach" and "coastline". i think they should be the same, not different so that the readers won't misunderstand or feel confused. With "bai bien Tra Co"(Tra Co Beach) and "mui Ca Mau"(Ca Mau Cape), the word "beach" and "cape" shouldn't be capitalised because they're not the proper names. And the second word "Viet Nam"(Viet Nam's southern-most) is not needed because we already have one in the first part, readers can understand without this second word. The word "sporty" is used for "soi dong" not very suitable, "sporty" souds like something relates to sport, not sightseeing. According to me, I'll use ”interesting” instead.

linhda said...

My comment
Paragraph 2 (page 9):

When I read the English translated paragraph and compare with the vietnamse one, I found them rather closed in term of meaning. In the English one, I suppose that the translator is clever in choosing words. They are chosen and used in different suitable cases. The author is successful in avoiding repeating words many times. And as a result, the translation is very smooth, and it is very easy for the readers to understand. I also support the way to divide the number of the sentences in the English translation one. In the original one, the number of the sentences is 3, but in the translated one, the number is six. However, the content of the reading is still kept. It’s better for the translation because it sounds reasonable in English with the translator’s division. If the translator kept the same structure, it would be very strange.
However, there are still some points that I am not really satisfied with. First of all, in the first sentence, I wonder that Vietnam is located on the Eastern Sea as the author’s idea or Dong Sea. Then, when I thought carefully, I suppose both of them are right. Vietnamese people have tendency to name bridge, sea or river etc basing on its direction. In the second sentence, I think we should translate “Vietnamese people” not “Vietnamese” only. If I were the translator, I would translate “two large bamboo baskets are made of bamboo” and change “carrying pole” into “shoulder pole” that maybe not made of bamboo. In addition, I think land in word “reclamation” and land in word “protection” are different, so we can use nation or country to go with “nation protection”. Some tenses are used should be changed also. The verb “extent” should be changed “has extended” because it has existed many centuries. And in the last sentence, we will change “created” into “has created” because we don’t know exactly the time.


Extra exercise
The purposes of forcing each pupil to take the exam of math and Vietnamese language subjects in excellent elementary pupil exam are not defined clearly. If the exam makes contribution to discover improve future talents, there are few talents who are good at social and natural sciences. If the exam helps develop the individual aptitudes and create excitement in study, it is not a real ground. Due to a must to take part in 2 subjects (no other choice), the pupils share their time and efforts for their unfavorable subject.

Muïc ñích cuûa viec baét buoäc moãi hoïc sinh phaûi döï thi caû 2 moân Toaùn vaø Tieáng Vieït trong kyø thu hoïc sinh gioûi tieåu hoïc khoâng ñöôïc xaùc ñinh roõ raøng vaø cuï theå. Neáu kyø thi nhaèm goùp phaàn phaùt hieän vaø boài döôõng taøi naêng töông lai thì ít coù taøi naêng naøo laïi gioûi caû caùc moan töï nhieân laaxn xaõ hoäi. Neáu noùi kyø thi nhaèm ñaùp öùng nhu caafu phat trieån naêng löïc caù nhaân, taïo söï höùng thuù trong hoïc taäp cho hoïc sinh thì laïi caøng khoâng thích hôïp. Chính vì phaûi hoïc caû 2 moân ( maø khoâng ñöôïc löïa choïn phöông aùn naøo khaùc) neân buoäc hoïc sinh phaûi san seû thôøi gian vaø söùc löïc cho moat moan hoïc maø mình khoâng yeâu thích
My comment
In my opinion, the English translated paragraph is a good one. The way that the translator has expressed has the close meaning to the Vietnamese paragraph. It is easy for me to follow
The word choice is also good, but it will be better if the translator changes some words. For example, I don’t think that “talents” can be written in the plural form with “s” ending. The translator should use “both……and……”, and if the first part of the last sentence, if the translator uses “must”, he or she should use “the pupils have to share”. It will be more logical in translation. And in the last sentence, the translator should correct structural mistake. We can use “because of” instead of “Due to”

Ngoc said...

Comments on paragraph 4 (p.13) in Viet Nam’s Natural Beauty
Tran Truc Ngoc - class 01 - 7044736

The heading sentence of the paragraph which is in bold was translated quite closely to the sentence in the Vietnamese text.

However, in the first sentence, there are differences in translation from the Vietnamese original text into the English version:

Firstly, the phrase “ voi bo bien trai dai 3.000 km tu bai bien Tra Co cua tinh Quang Ninh o phia Bac den mui Ca Mau cua tinh Ca Mau o phia cuc Nam” was translated into the form of a sentence. The subject in the translation is “Viet Nam’s 3,000-kilometre coastline” and the verb is “stretches”, making this sentence become short and easier to understand. The verb “stretches” best describes Viet Nam’s coastline rather than other verbs, e.g “runs”.

The phrase “ tinh Quang Ninh o phia Bac” was translated as “the northen province of Quang Ninh” while the phrase “tinh Ca Mau o phia cuc Nam” was translated as Viet Nam’s southern-most province of Ca Mau”. Then, we can see that there’s difference between the southern and the southern-most. Why did not the translator use “the southern” but “the southern-most” ? If the southern is used, the translation does not express the exact meaning of the phrase “tinh Ca Mau o phia cuc Nam” because Ca Mau is the furthest south province of Viet Nam. So, we need to emphasize its feature by using the southern-most province as the translator did.

“…and includes islands, bays, beaches…” Here, we can use the verb “has” but “includes” seems to be more formal in written form and smoother.

Next, the translation does not use “includes” again to translate the phrase “bao gom nhung noi heo lanh va lang man…”Instead, it used “range from…to…” By using this verb, readers can illustrate or imagine the scene of Vietnam’s beaches and appreciate the diversity of the topography of beaches in Vietnam. I think the verb “vary” is also possible here.

“…the secluded and romantic” and “the popular and sporty” are used in creative and successful way. We do not use a noun here but the readers still understand what the adjectives stand for. The way using adjective as a noun makes the sentence shorter and better.

However, the phrase “popular and sporty” was not very close to the original meaning. I would translate the phrase “noi tieng va soi dong” as “popular and effervescent”.

In conclusion, this is a good translation. The English translation is very close to meaning of the Vietnamese original text. The translator used clear structure and effective words to express the expected meaning in Vietnamese.

Comments on paragraph taken from website http://www.cpv.org.vn/english/tourism/
Tran Truc Ngoc – class 01 - 7044736

The Vietnamese original text

Dien đan Du lich Đong A (EATOF) 2007 cam ket ung ho binh chon Vinh Ha Long
Ngày 13/9/2007. Cập nhật lúc 17h 9'

Tu ngay 4 đen 8/9, Đoan đai bieu Quang Ninh do ong Trinh Van Hong, Pho Giam đoc So Du lich Quang Ninh dan đau đa hoan thanh tot đep chuyen cong tac tham du dien đan Du lich Đong A (EATOF) lan thu 7 đuoc to chuc tai tinh Chiang Mai (Thai Lan). Tham gia dien đan EATOF 2007 gom cac đoan đai bieu đen tu Trung Quoc, Han Quoc, Nhat Ban, Malaysia, Viet Nam, Indonesia, Mong Co, Philippine, Thai Lan. Đay la lan thu 2 tinh Quang Ninh tham gia dien đan EATOF voi tu cach la thanh vien chinh thuc.
Theo Website TCDL

The English translation

East Asia Inter-Regional Tourism Forum 2007 pledging to support Ha Long Bay’s recommendation Updated on 9/14/2007 at 17:28

This year’s Vietnamese delegation, led by Mr. Trinh Van Hong, Deputy Director of the Quang Ninh Tourism Department, completed the business trip taken placed in Chiang Mai, Thai Lan successfully. This is the second time that Quang Ninh province has joined the forum as an official member. The forum attracted the participation of representatives from China, the Republic of Korea, Japan, Malaysia, Vietnam, Indonesia, Mongolia, the Philippines, and Thailand.
BTA (According to Quang Ninh News)

My comments

The heading of the English translation is “ East Asia Inter-Regional Tourism Forum 2007…” includes the word Inter-Regional that does not appear in the Vietnamese original text. I think this may be because the name of an organization or a forum in the English language need to be specified clearly and if we do not translate carefully, readers may misunderstand.

The phrase “This year’s Vietnamese delegation” seems not to be in close meaning to “doan dai bieu Quang Ninh” .It should be translated as Vietnamese delegation of Quang Ninh province.

After this sentence, the translation changed the position of sentence 2 and sentence 3 in comparison with the position in the original text.
The sentence “ This is the second time that Quang Ninh province has joined the forum as an official member.” is translated closely to the meaning of the Vietnamese text.

However, the last sentence is a little different from the Vietnamese text but it still keeps the expected meaning. In the Vietnamese text, there’s no subject but in the English translation, the subject is “the forum”. In Vietnamese, we write “Tham gia diễn đàn EATOF 2007 gồm các đoàn đại biểu đến từ Trung Quốc,…Thái Lan.” but we do not translate in the same way. Instead, we need a complete sentence as “The forum attracted the participation of representatives from China,…, and Thailand.” I think this is a popular way in translating a Vietnamese text into the English one.

In conclusion, this translation is close to the meaning of the Vietnamese original text although there are some points that are not translated well. Also, the order of the sentences is not kept as in the Vietnamese text.

Dinh Duy Linh said...

Dinh Duy Linh, 7044734, EE01 K30

Vietnamese text:
Giam doc mot doanh nghiep san xuat hang qua tang tai Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh cho biet hien doanh nghiep cua ong co hon 10 mau hang chuan bi tung ra cho dip SEA Games 22 sap toi, nhung doanh ngheip hien nay trong the "tien thoai luong nang" khong the tien hanh len ke hoach san xuat duoc vi khong biet chi phi phai tra cho ban to chuc bao nhieu de dinh gia san pham.
English text(translation)
The director of a gift production enterprise in HCM makes known that his enterprise has more than 10 model products that will come under for an occasion of Seagames 22. However, the enterprise is in the situation "between the devil and the deep sea" he can't make a production plan just because he doesn't know how much money he has to pay for organization board to fix the price on the products.
My comments:
"Thanh pho Ho Chi Minh" should be translated " Ho Chi Minh city", "make known" doesn't have meaning "cho biet", it should be "state" or "announce". The word "sap toi"(SEA Games 22 sap toi) is not translated in the English text, I will translate it "the coming SEA Games 22th", and the phrase "tien thoai luong nan" shouldn't be "between the devil and the deep sea", there's another word "dilema" to illustrate this meaning. From "khong the tien hanh...chi phi phai tra", the translator use "he" for the noun, but it must be "the enterprise" because this paragraph is talking about the enterprise, not only the director, it's a group of people, not only one person. The word "arganization board" should be capitalised because it's the name of an organization. "dinh gia san pham" can't be "fix the price on the products", "fix" is just used for putting something into the other one, I will translate this word by "set the price".

Vo said...

Thầy lại hay khen chúng con là: “Khá lắm con trai!”, “Khá lắm con gái!”. Cả năm học tụi con nghe hoài những câu ấy, nhưng chẳng đứa nào biết chán. Chả thế mà đến tiết của Thầy, cả lớp chúng con mấy chục cánh tay đưa lên chờ Thầy gọi phát biểu, tổ này giành tổ kia, bạn này giành bạn nọ trông thật trẻ con.

You often praised us by saying to us “Very good, son!”, “Very good, daughter!”. For a school year, we again and again heard these words from you, yet none of us felt bored. This is why in each period of yours, we all raised our hands, waiting for your call on. This group “competed” with another one – all made a childlike scene.

After reading the paragraph, I think the translation is quite good. Yet I have something to comment.
In the first sentence, instead of using “very good boy” or “very good daughter”, I think we should use “good boy!”, or “good girl!”. Although “con trai” and “con g ái” can be translated in to “son” or “daughter”, I think we shouldn’t use those words. The teacher is not the father of the students. I think using “boy”, or “girl” is better. “You often praised us by saying to us” should be changed into “you also praised us” It is shorter and can prevent the repetition of the word “us”. In the next sentence, the translator should use “during the school year” instead of “for a school year”. In the next sentence, “ch ả th ế m à đ ến ti ết c ủa th ầy” should be translated into “that’s why, everytime you taught us,” …..And the last one, “all made a childlike scene” may be replaced by childly because “childly” supports the meaning of the word “competed”, not the scene in the class.
Vo ChanH Truc 7044744

Au Cai Jin said...

Comment 01:
Paragraph 106, page 85

After reading this paragraph, I wonder why the author did translate "Thung lũng Tình Yêu" by "the Valley of Love" instead of "Love Valley". If I translate this word, perhaps I will use "Love Valley".
There are two words which mean "hùng vĩ", imposing and impressive. Why did the author use the word "imposing"? Can we use "impressive" in this case?
Is it possible to use "background" which means "nền"? The author translate it by the word "backdrop", and I think I really like to use this word in that case.

Comment 02:

Paragraph: (from Thanhnienonline)
Hòa bình và phát triển là chủ đề của thời đại. Nhân dân ở tất cả các quốc gia trên thế giới nên nắm tay nhau hợp tác trong quá trình xúc tiến sự nghiệp cao cả vì hòa bình và sự phát triển của nhân loại.

English edition:
Peace and development are the themes of times. People across the world should join hands in advancing the lofty cause of peace and development of mankind.

Comment:
I think that the noun phrase "Tất cả các quốc gia trên thế giới " can be translated as "every country in the world" or "all the nations in the world", and the noun phrase "nhân dân ở tất cả các quốc gia trên thế giới" can be translated as "the people of all the nations in the world". But this translating is not as short as "people across the world". So the author did show me that in some cases in translation choosing short form is good.

Au Tai Tien
Student ID: 7044783